Breaking Through
by AndraDee
Summary: A novel-length alternative Kyle XY story following episode ‘Leap of Faith! LATEST CHAPTERS: 44/Discoveries - Kyle and Jessi embark on a strange and dangerous journey. 45/Atrium - Kyle is at the centre of several different agendas.
1. Prologue: The Hardest Lesson

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**:

Although I am not completely new to writing, this is my first ever attempt at any kind of fan fiction. It is written generally true to the show's universe (canon), but please don't let that put you off. I hope I have done my job well and that you enjoy it. (23Oct07)

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

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**The Story**:

This is a novel-length alternative version of the Kyle XY story following the events in the episode _Leap of Faith_. Traumatized by betrayal, Kyle has reached a crisis point in his development. More mysteries, confusion, and challenges threaten to send him over the edge as he begins to unlock the mystery of his full potential. And what effect will the exposure of all the secrets surrounding his existence, and the true purpose of his creation, have on his relationships with his friends and family and their relationships with each other?

**The Chapters**: (TO GO STRAIGHT TO **Chapter 1: The Hardest Lesson**, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN BELOW THIS LIST)

Because this story is so long, quite a few people have mentioned that they get confused when trying to find their place...so I have added this table of contents which may help to remind you of the previous and subsequent chapters (without spoiling!):

01 - **The Hardest Lesson (Prologue)** - Kyle realizes something very important about himself. (23Oct07)  
02 - **Faith** - Kyle performs a startling calculation. (23Oct07)  
03 - **Numb** - Kyle struggles with confusion, while Declan struggles with fear. (27Oct07)  
04 - **The Same** - Nicole questions everything about Kyle. (19Nov07)  
05 - **Cold** - Declan has to deal with a terrifying discovery. (22Nov07)  
06 - **Vows** - Very different promises are made. (24Nov07)  
07 - **Changes** - Something important about Kyle's time at ZZYZX is revealed. (27Nov07)  
08 - **Hurting** - Lori struggles with her feelings. (01Dec07)  
09 - **Burdens** - The race is on to help Kyle. (03Dec07)  
10 - **Connection** - Amanda struggles with her thoughts and feelings. (05Dec07)  
11 - **Orders** - Tension is high as Foss gives the orders. (09Dec07)  
12 - **Disconnection** - Lori makes a serious misjudgment. (10Dec07)  
13 - **Trust** - Declan acts on his instincts. (11Dec07)  
14 - **Revelations (Part 1)** - Josh provides something that is desperately needed. (14Dec07)  
15 - **Revelations (Part 2) **- Kyle fears the reaction of his family. (15Dec07)  
16 - **Revelations (Part 3)** - The Tragers have an extraordinary experience. (17Dec07)  
17 - **Undone** - Amends must be made. (19Dec07)  
18 - **Regression** - Nicole has a sense of déjà vu. (22Dec07)  
19 - **Pain** - Kyle struggles to understand his feelings. (30Dec07)  
20 - **Thresholds** - Kyle attempts to clear his head. (02Jan08)  
21 - **Confessions** - Kyle finds comfort with Amanda. (05Jan08)  
22 - **Fallout** - The Tragers awaken to panic. (07Jan08)  
23 - **Lacunas **- Nicole makes a diagnosis. (10Jan08)  
24 - **Misunderstandings **- Something makes everyone stop and stare. (13Jan08)  
25 - **Needs** - Things are not always as they seem. (15Jan08)  
26 - **Opportunism** - Lori makes the most of an opportunity. (16Jan08)  
27 - **Powwow (Part 1)** - Kyle tries to take control of his future. (20Jan08)  
28 - **Powwow (Part 2)** - The Tragers have some tough decisions to make. (22Jan08)  
29 - **Powwow (Part 3)** - Stephen's frustration leads to action. (28Jan08)  
30 - **Sanctuary **- Kyle seeks comfort. (02Feb08)  
31 - **Mental Notes** - Kyle receives a strange message. (04Feb08)  
32 - **Morning** - Kyle makes a decision. (08Feb08)  
33 - **Smokescreen** - School doesn't go exactly as planned. (10Feb08)  
34 - **Unexpected** - A surprise visitor causes some apprehension. (11Feb08)  
35 - **Persuasion** - Difficult choices must be made. (18Feb08)  
36 - **Calls** - Things are not going well for anybody, least of all for Kyle. (24Feb08)  
37 - **Missing **- Amanda and Kyle experience the distance between them. (25Feb08)  
38 - **Likenesses** - Declan is forced to look at some things differently. (03Mar08)  
39 - **Memories** - Kyle begins to accept what has to be done. (10Mar08)  
40 - **Resignation** - While Kyle is prepared for the inevitable, he tries to prepare Stephen. (17Mar08)  
41 - **Q & A** - Kyle has his first encounter with the Cerebral Impulse Relay. (25Mar08)  
42 - **Stimulation** - Kyle's boundaries are sorely tested. (31Mar08)  
43 - **Lost **- Kyle's concern about Amanda increases. (06Apr08)  
44 - **Discoveries** - Kyle and Jessi embark on a strange and dangerous journey. (21Apr08)  
45 - **Atrium** - Kyle is at the centre of several different agendas. (11May08)

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Chapter 1:  
**The Hardest Lesson**** (Prologue)**

_There had been many times in my short conscious life when I had felt confused, but never like this. I was now standing precariously close to the edges of two precipices at once. One was achingly physical, where peering over the edge made my stomach heave and my head spin. The other was psychological, where facing one simple truth threatened to shatter my fragile sense of purpose in the world. Of all the things I had learned since waking in the forest, this most obvious thing had been the longest – and the hardest – lesson of all: that even the most extraordinary mind is no match for the power of human feeling. The bewilderment and pain of Jessi's betrayal had completely severed me from my own extraordinary abilities; just as my desperation to understand how Adam Baylin was still alive had blinded me to the threat Jessi herself had warned me of earlier in the day. Now I was rendered incapable of anything at all except trying to catch my breath, because Jessi had just thrown herself into the chasm below me…_

Jessi's last words still echoed in Kyle's mind with crystal clarity: _you shouldn't have trusted me_.

It didn't seem real. He teetered on the edge in more ways than one. In a split-second Kyle's faculties returned to him and he reached out with his mind, but there was no hint of the presence he felt when Jessi was near. He reassured himself that it didn't mean she wasn't alive somewhere below; she could simply be out of the range of his senses. In another split-second he had analyzed the physics of her jump before he'd realized it. Could Jessi survive such a fall? Assuming that her extraordinary abilities were like his own, he reasoned, there was a possibility, though it was unlikely. Nevertheless, for some moments he scanned the area below with wild eyes, desperate for some evidence of the miracles Amanda so firmly believed in. His own fragile faith was now wavering with every ragged breath. It was all out of his control. For the second time ever in his life, Kyle prayed. _Please look after Jessi._

His failure to help her stabbed painfully at his conscience, which was already overburdened with the guilt of having put his family and friends in grave danger. The truth of his hardest lesson slapped his mind mercilessly. He was starting to understand something important about himself and what prevented him using his mind in the way it had been developed to work during the sixteen years spent inside the chamber at ZZYZX. _You shouldn't have trusted me._ Those words again. People had died because of him. Some had gone to extraordinary lengths to protect him – and others to try to kill him. How could he differentiate between them with certainty?

Kyle sobbed just once. Nothing made sense to him anymore. Nothing. His thoughts and memories ran amok stirring up wild ghosts inside his head. They turned into white flashes of searing pain. The sound of the rushing water below became deafening as he lost control of his hearing. The pain! It was all much too much. Nausea gripped his stomach and his knees buckled. He felt himself falling. Instinct thrust his arms out but there was nothing to grab hold of. No lifeline. No Nicole. No Stephen. No Amanda. No Declan. No Foss. No Adam Baylin. _No Jessi_…He had failed all of them. _You shouldn't have trusted me._

And above everything, for all his amazing abilities, Kyle couldn't even save himself. He would die here in the forest as he had begun: alone and confused. As he squeezed his eyes shut and let go of himself, he prayed for the third time in his life. _Please look after my family…_

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(Next chapter: _Faith_)


	2. Faith

Kyle performs a startling calculation.  
(23Oct07)

(Previous chapter: _The Hardest Lesson_)

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Chapter 2:  
**Faith**

Everything was dark. There was a terrible rushing in his ears like a waterfall. The more he listened the more he realized that it _was_ a waterfall. He thought he heard someone calling his name through the sound. He rolled his head and tried to tune in to the source, or tune out the waterfall – he wasn't sure which. There was pain behind his eyes and he couldn't open them. There! He heard it again and rolled his head to the other side, regretting it as a bolt of pain ricocheted inside his skull like a squash ball. He moaned out loud.

"Kyle?" he heard clearly.

His name was Kyle? Yes, he remembered that now. "Where are you?" he tried to call out, desperately confused, but knew that the words had come out garbled. His lips were numb. Suddenly he felt his head loll back and a pressure under his shoulders as someone lifted him into a sitting position. A huge wave of nausea engulfed him as his head flopped forward. He retched once, but thankfully nothing came up. Strangely, it made him feel a bit better. He was aware of being supported by a hand on his chest and another between his shoulder blades. His whole body tingled and ached as if he'd just stopped running for the first time in his life. Though his arms were leaden, he managed to bring his right one up to his brow to shield his sensitized eyes from the light he knew was beyond them; it seeped in slowly as he relaxed his eyelids open. The pain subsided enough to risk looking around.

Everything was spinning and unfocused at first, but when his vision cleared Kyle realized he was staring down at his legs. They protruded from underneath a black jacket draped loosely over him, and they were trembling. He swept his eyes to the right and saw the sheer drop a couple of feet away. The waterfall was roaring and he could feel the spray on his face. He blinked in confusion. His eyes fell to his chest where he saw the arm that supported him. He followed it until his gaze eventually came to rest on a face. He took his hand away from his brow and blinked again.

"Foss?" he said shakily.

Tom Foss narrowed his eyes in that way he always did. He had made an art of hiding his emotions, but Kyle knew this particular narrowing of the eyes as Foss' signature smile-that-never-quite-comes. It meant Foss was pleased. Kyle frowned, his confusion still evident. His mouth felt dry and he tried to swallow.

"Here," said Foss offering him some bottled water from a rucksack Kyle didn't recognize.

In his rush to lubricate his throat, Kyle took a huge gulp of water and air and half retched, half burped. It hurt. He groaned unhappily and handed the bottle back to Foss. The man actually looked somewhat amused and patted Kyle's back a couple of times.

After a few moments of silence, Kyle looked down the chasm again then back at Foss. It was obvious to Foss that the wheels of the boy's confused mind were beginning to turn. Kyle swallowed awkwardly.

"If I survived that fall, then Jessi could have too," he reasoned out loud. Foss frowned. Kyle continued, "We have to find her." Then he remembered that he hadn't had a chance to talk to Foss about Jessi, because he'd found out the truth about her only after Foss had been detained at Madacorp. Kyle took a breath and was about to explain what he had discovered, when he stopped himself. Something else was nagging at him.

He wrinkled his brow and bit the inside of his cheek, as he always did when he was trying to figure something out, and stared absently at the grass by Foss' knee. Something in his mind began to move and he looked up at the sky. He noted the sun's movement and calculated in a heartbeat that it had been no more than two hours since Jessi had jumped into the chasm. He also knew that there was no way Foss could have found him and got him back up here from the bottom of the chasm within that time frame…and his clothes would never have dried out that quickly either; they were merely damp from the spray of the falls. He looked back at Foss, whose face showed a modicum of anticipation.

"But I fell," Kyle said in a small voice.

Foss understood Kyle's line of thought at that point. He picked up the jacket he'd draped over the boy's legs and put it on. Then he began securing the fastenings on the rucksack as he stated simply, "You did fall." Kyle's eyebrows knitted together, then lifted in surprise as Foss smiled widely. Standing up with a grunt, Foss offered his hand to Kyle and added casually, "Sideways, obviously."

It was a miracle! A little of Kyle's ebbing faith crawled humbly back to him. He thanked Amanda and her God in his head and allowed himself to break a half-smile as he took Foss' hand.

Foss pulled him to his feet, and Kyle had to lean heavily into the man's side while his trembling legs adjusted to his weight. Everything felt strange. Something was different. His senses seemed heightened somehow and there was information pouring into his mind from everywhere. Smells, sounds, barometric calculations, colors, textures – everything rushed into him at once and he tried to catch his breath. He leaned over, convinced that this time he was really going to vomit, and squeezed his eyes shut. Foss held him by the waist as Kyle pressed his palms over his knees to lock them into place to prevent himself keeling over. Bile rose in his throat, but nothing more happened. He groaned and took in a few deep breaths. Finally, he drew himself up to his full six feet and opened his eyes. What he saw shocked him.

Every tree within a 100-yard radius lay splintered and flattened, fanning away from where the two men stood at the edge of the chasm.

"What happened here?" he asked Foss nervously without taking his eyes off the fallen, broken trees.

"I thought you could tell me," Foss replied. "I came to the forest to find you then I heard…_this. _Figured I'd better check it out and here you were."

Kyle's eyes widened in trepidation as he took in the scene and stepped away from Foss. It was as though something vast had come down from above and left what resembled an immense crop circle in the forest. How had this force not blown him into the chasm? Something wasn't right. As he began to puzzle over it, Kyle became aware that he could sense the residual signature of an energy trail; and reaching out with his mind, he slowly turned as he traced it. It was kind of like when he read the changes in the weather. He made a full sweep, a 360-degree turn. It fanned out in all directions, even as far as the cliff face on the opposite side of the falls. In a blink, he calculated the point of origin and paled. He jerked his head and met Foss' eyes.

"What's wrong?" Foss asked, his eyes narrowing. Kyle sensed the man's muscles begin to tense and his heart rate picked up speed. "Kyle?"

Without warning, Kyle turned on his still wobbly legs and bolted towards the trees that were still standing, ignoring Foss' calls for him to stop. "Keep away from me!" Kyle screamed back over his shoulder. He stopped just short of the line of upright trees at the edge of the forest and turned to face Foss, who was about fifty yards behind him. "Leave me alone!"

"Kyle, what are you doing? You can trust me! You know that!" Foss' confusion was obvious.

Kyle's eyes were wild with distress and his heart felt like it was racing at twice the speed of light. "Stay away!" he almost whimpered.

Foss reached into the front compartment of his rucksack and pulled out a gun. He released the safety catch and aimed the pistol at Kyle. "Don't make me do this," Foss pleaded, "because I never miss."

As he stared at the gun, what little remained of Kyle's faith in his own judgment crumbled to dust. His whole body began to tingle and tears sprang unbidden to his eyes. In panic, he turned his back on the man who had saved his life on more than one occasion and resumed his course, incapable of thinking, just running.

"Kyle! Stop!" Foss gave a pained grunt then barked, "Final warning!"

Kyle picked up speed once more and was just about to disappear into the dark cover of the forest when Foss took aim and pulled the trigger.

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(Next chapter: _Numb_)


	3. Numb

Kyle struggles with confusion, while Declan struggles with fear.  
(27Oct07)

(Previous chapter: _Faith_)

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Chapter 3:  
**Numb**

He had been running for some time, but now every few steps Kyle's legs faltered beneath him. He didn't know how much longer he could run. As his body began to slow down, his mind began to creep back from the place it had retreated to in his panic to get away from Foss. He had needed to put as much distance between them as possible. Kyle recalled the moment that he had calculated the point of origin of the explosion back by the waterfall and discovered it to be the very spot where Foss had found him. Kyle knew that somehow he, himself, had caused the force that had flattened the trees; but he didn't remember doing it, he didn't know how he'd done it, and worst of all, he didn't trust that he would be able to stop himself from doing it again. He didn't want anyone else to get hurt because of him. He had to run. He had to protect Foss.

But why had Foss shot him? Kyle knew he had, because he'd felt the sting beneath his right shoulder blade as he'd broken past the line of trees at the edge of the forest. And a split-second after the sting, his sensitive hearing had heard the whoosh, just like the silenced pistols he had seen on television. His struggling mind reasoned that the only cause Foss would have to shoot him was if he also knew how dangerous Kyle really was. Had he known all along what Kyle could do? And had he known about Jessi too? Confusion sapped Kyle's mind once again, and he felt a vague and familiar stirring of fear inside himself. His wound was strangely numb now. He had always imagined a bullet wound to be much more painful; it always seemed that way on TV.

Kyle looked over his shoulder to ensure Foss wasn't behind him and stumbled on a tree root. He fell hard with a grunt and lay there on his front, winded, for a few moments before attempting to stand. The world was shifting in and out of focus by the time he managed to get to his knees. There was no pain, only a soft, hot throbbing emanating from somewhere on his back. His mind was starting to get fuzzy round the edges and breathing was becoming a bit more difficult. His heart pounded so hard it felt like it might pound right through his ribcage.

With some effort, Kyle managed to get back on his feet and decided it was best to keep moving. A few paces further on his mind suddenly went blank and he almost blacked out. What was he doing here? Where was he going? He reached out with his left arm and braced himself against the nearest tree. When the dizziness passed, he began to wonder why he wasn't panicking about this predicament any longer. In fact, he was no longer sure exactly what his predicament was. Beads of sweat trickled down his temples and he wiped his face roughly with his right sleeve. Why was he running anyway? His memories seemed to be getting stuck somewhere just below the surface of his consciousness. He shook his head and felt the world wobble a bit. An image of a cabin near a lake came to him and he had a vague notion that he knew how to get there.

Though dusk was approaching fast, Kyle peered ahead and thought he could make out a clearing just through the next line of trees. The map deeply embedded in his mind told him he was going in the right direction for the cabin, but why did he need to get there? Suddenly it all dissolved in his head and disappeared down a mental plughole. His hearing seemed to be playing tricks on him too, because he thought he could hear a cell phone ringing somewhere nearby. He turned his head, but couldn't pinpoint it. In fact, he was fast losing his mind altogether. Strange images floated in front of his eyes, only to disappear when he tried to focus on them. What was happening to him? He had never imagined death to be like this; he was sure he should be upset that he was about to die for the second time that day, but all he felt was…numb.

oooOooo

Twenty yards away, Declan McDonough paced nervously at the edge of the clearing in the woods. Foss had told him to wait there in case Kyle and Jessi passed through it en route back to Declan's car. There had been a strange explosion deep in the forest and Foss had taken off in that direction.

Declan had a bad feeling as he nibbled at a snagged thumbnail, silently cursing ever having gotten involved with Kyle or his secrets; it had caused him nothing but trouble. He cast his mind back a few hours and replayed the moment of devastation when Lori realized he'd been lying to her – to everyone – for months, keeping Kyle's stupid secrets. She had screamed at him to get out of the house. He knew she had meant out of her life as well. He would never forget the look on her face or the contempt in her voice. Ever. The memory hurt more than anything ever had. Part of him wanted to tell her the truth and beg her forgiveness. But an even bigger part of him strongly felt he had done the right thing; after all, Lori's safety also depended on him keeping Kyle's secrets. Would she ever understand that, he wondered?

When he'd left the Tragers' house he was numb. Not sure what else to do, Declan had then found himself climbing into Foss' van with a new determination, having lent his own car to Kyle. When Foss had returned from talking to the Tragers, Declan told him that he would be going with him to find Kyle and Jessi. No arguments. For the first time ever, Foss didn't give him a hard time, but he did want to know who Jessi was, and what she had to do with Kyle.

Kyle! Where was he? Where was Foss? It was getting dark and Declan didn't relish the idea of spending the night in these woods alone. Memories of the camping trip to the old ZZYZX site a few weeks earlier bubbled up to haunt him. He brushed aside the disturbing images of claustrophobic spaces, and Amanda having to resuscitate Kyle when methane poisoning had stopped his heart. Declan had never felt so scared and helpless.

His own heart nearly stopped when his cell phone rang, piercing the thick forest air like the screech of a banshee. He changed his mind about never having felt that scared and helpless. He felt that way right now, and had to take a deep breath before rummaging in his pocket to retrieve the phone. Declan recognized the last four digits of the number flashing on the screen; it was the spare cell phone Foss had kept in his car. He'd given the number to Declan just before they'd separated, explaining that he'd had to destroy his usual phone because Madacorp would be tracking it.

"Have you found them?" Declan asked hopefully before Foss could speak.

"Jessi, no. Kyle, yes, but he's on the run. I'm tracking him. He's practically on top of you. You have to stop him!" Foss sounded breathless and there was urgency in his tone.

"What? Tracking him?" Declan was confused. Why would Kyle be running away from Foss? And if Foss could track Kyle, why hadn't he done that in the first place? Declan decided to ask.

"There's no time to explain!" Foss interrupted. "Just be cautious. Kyle's not…himself. He should never have made it back that far, so who knows what he can do!"

"What do you mean?" Declan's bad feeling was getting worse.

Foss went silent for a brief moment while he caught his breath. "I had to use the gun on him," he sounded resigned and somewhat regretful.

"Oh no," Declan's heart sank and he rolled his eyes shut. He knew Foss had prepped the gun in case he needed to use it on Jessi; Declan had explained to him what she had done and that she was somewhat unpredictable. But he couldn't imagine why Foss would use the gun on Kyle. Foss had just said that Kyle was near this very clearing. "Maybe you missed," he hoped, feeling suddenly very nervous.

Foss took another gasping breath, obviously still running, and snapped, "I never miss! And there was enough tranquillizer in that shot to floor a charging rhino in under a minute! Kyle should've dropped in his tracks almost straight away!" He didn't admit to Declan that the amount of drug in the dart was never intended to simply knock Jessi out if she had become a threat to Kyle. Now he had used it on Kyle in desperation and he was worried; his plan to administer the neutralizing drug to the boy immediately had gone awry…Kyle hadn't collapsed. He'd kept on running. It was astounding, but also a huge concern. Things were getting messy, and Foss didn't like mess.

Declan felt uncomfortable, and added, "Then maybe Kyle's immune." Anything seemed possible with Kyle these days. They really knew very little about him.

Foss had had enough. "Just find him and hold on to him till I get there."

"How?" Declan asked, genuinely in need of suggestions.

"Do whatever you have to," Foss said. "Kyle doesn't know it, but he needs help. I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up.

"Great," muttered Declan to himself as he stuffed his cell phone back in his pocket and looked nervously into the trees lining the clearing. If Kyle were that close, maybe he could hear if Declan called him. He bounced anxiously up and down on the balls of his feet a couple of times then figured it was worth a shot. He took a breath and called warily into the rapidly darkening forest, "Kyle! It's me…Declan!"

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(Next chapter: _The Same_)


	4. The Same

Nicole questions everything about Kyle.  
(19Nov07)

(Previous chapter: _Numb_)

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Chapter 4:  
**The Same**

Nicole Trager sat at her dining room table, too worried and exhausted to do anything else. Her eyes scanned the papers strewn across the entire surface and fell on a small photograph of Kyle taken the previous year. She detached it from the County Juvenile Detention Facility file and picked it up, centering on the face she knew so well. A knot formed somewhere between her stomach and her throat. She'd had this feeling only twice before: the first time when Kyle had run away with nothing but the pajamas he was wearing; and the last (and by far the worst) when his natural parents, the Petersons, claimed him and took him back to Connecticut. Now the Petersons were dead, and Kyle was back.

Nicole loved Kyle in a way she couldn't explain to herself, let alone to anyone else, but the seemingly connected chain of bizarre events over the past year began to cast terrible doubts in her mind. A storm – no, a hurricane – seemed to be brewing with Kyle at its eye; and nobody could tell her why. She knew Kyle had been hiding things from her. Many times she had noticed that his intense eyes said one thing while his mouth and body language said quite another, yet she hadn't challenged him. She believed he had suffered terrible trauma in his life and needed space to adjust. Had she been naïve to trust her instincts about Kyle? Had he lied about everything all along? What was he hiding? A dark thought intruded…what if he'd somehow been responsible for his parents' deaths? Or those of his abductor, Adam Baylin? Or of Baylin's academic colleague, Professor Kern? What if Kyle were somehow responsible for all of those deaths? What did anyone really know about him?

Her mind ricocheted backwards and forwards between believing Kyle's innocence and believing his deception. She, as a psychologist, knew that the human mind was capable of hiding hideous things even from itself. She also knew that Kyle was different to most people…he possessed incredible mental agility, and his powers of observation and mimicry were phenomenal. Maybe Kyle had faked all of his reactions to his unique situation convincingly. Yet Nicole still believed that the confusion and anguish she'd seen in his eyes on numerous occasions was genuine…most recently seen when she'd discovered him about to sneak out of his window in search of the runaway Jessi Hollander earlier that day. Nicole had been so furious with him at that point. That's all she had felt. But now, in the terrible emptiness of the family dining room, his words haunted her_…You told me once that I never brought anything but love into this house, but all I ever brought was pain. _What did he mean? That just wasn't true! Why hadn't she challenged him on that?

She felt her own guilt bubble up from deep inside, resulting in a single sob. Nicole had let her own anger and curiosity blind her to Kyle's very real pain and desperation, and his potentially misguided loyalties towards Jessi – a girl he hardly knew. Or had he lied about that too? All Nicole had wanted at that moment was to know how he and Jessi were connected, because the coincidences she had noticed were driving her crazy. She had neglected to realize that Kyle had obviously pieced together some things himself – or maybe he already knew them?

_She and I are the same. _

Once more, Kyle's words threatened Nicole's defenses_. _Her guilt rose up vehemently and tightened in her chest. She should have told Kyle that he was wrong about that too; that it couldn't be true. What had he meant by 'the same'? Having been therapist to both of them, Nicole knew that Jessi's nature was nothing at all like Kyle's. And deep inside, away from her logic and scientific training, Nicole Trager's intuition screamed at her that she was right about that one fact, if nothing else.

Emotional exhaustion took away her usual resilience to displays of vulnerability and tears began to leak from her eyes, and not for the first time that day. She wasn't angry with Kyle anymore and she desperately wanted him to know that. But how? He was gone! She, herself, had let him go. She ran the fingers of her right hand over the small photo she held in her left. She was frantically worried for the boy who had lodged himself firmly in her heart as one of her own children. She mentally kicked herself over and over for letting him go – or at least for not having warned him. Dropping the little photograph onto the table, she buried her face in her hands while huge sobs began to come up from that place deep inside her that knew Kyle was alone and in trouble.

How could she have been so stupid? If anything terrible happened to him she would never forgive herself. She had let him go after Jessi without arming him with at least a little of what she knew: that Jessi was very, very dangerous… especially to someone like Kyle.

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(Next chapter: _Cold_)


	5. Cold

Declan has to deal with a terrifying discovery.  
(22Nov07)

(Previous chapter: _The Same_)

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Chapter 5:  
**Cold**

It seemed to Declan that he'd been pacing around the clearing for hours since his phone conversation with Foss; in truth, however, it had been only fourteen minutes. He knew that because he had just checked his watch. Again. Darkness had closed in quickly in the forest, though it was barely evening, and the trees took on the limbs of crooked beings intent on scaring him witless. He had to admit to himself that they were succeeding. The tiny flashlight Foss had left him with did nothing significant to penetrate the darkness of the forest. Declan's instinctual response to these stressful situations in life was to run away, but here, he was too scared of what lay in the dark beyond the clearing in every direction to do that. He had already lost his bearings and didn't think he would be able to find the overgrown trail he and Foss had taken to get here. He wished he could, because it would lead him back to the truck, which was parked next to his car where Kyle had left it. Foss had found the car outside the city easily enough; he had seemed to know where it would be. Then he and Declan had followed an abandoned trail into the woods on foot. Declan mentally kicked himself for not taking more notice of where they were and how they'd got there. Something told him Foss had known exactly where they were going.

Tom Foss. Declan recognized the strong bond Kyle had with the creepy guy, but Declan himself was unsure of Foss or his motives. The guy was so closed off. Admittedly, Foss did seem to have Kyle's best interests at heart, but Declan often wondered whether Kyle's goodness made him see things in people that just weren't there. Declan had given up expecting answers to any questions about anything to do with Kyle's strange life; he had learnt that lesson pretty rapidly as his friendship with Kyle deepened. Something about becoming Kyle's friend also encouraged integrity, but until then Declan had cultivated very little of that in his life. He knew that this whole thing with Kyle had changed him on a fundamental level, made him more responsible, braver somehow. But he was still scared of enclosed spaces and of being in the dark…in more ways than one. He suddenly found himself imagining what it must be like to spend the first sixteen years of life sealed inside a fluid-filled tank, and shuddered. He could forgive Kyle almost anything.

Declan felt his fear rising with every minute that passed. Ever since he'd spoken to Foss, he'd expected Kyle to come pelting through the clearing. But he hadn't. In fact, Declan's ears could detect nothing but forest sounds; they sent chills down his spine, adding to the shivers he already had from the cold air. He called out into the trees for the umpteenth time. Kyle? Foss? Where were they? He shivered again and rubbed his hands together. Maybe he could build a little fire. It would serve several purposes: warmth, light and a beacon. Beacon? Perhaps that was a bad idea; Jessi was probably lurking in the forest too. She was scary enough under normal circumstances, so Declan didn't eagerly embrace the idea of her sneaking up on him in the middle of a dark forest, despite the fact that they'd once found a measure of comfort in each other's company. That is, until she had suddenly run cold on him. Icy, in fact. He dismissed building a fire, shivered mentally as well as physically, and cast his mind back to Jessi. She had obviously not coped so well with life in a ZZYZX tank.

It also bothered him that Foss hadn't heard about Jessi before today. Last Declan had heard, Kyle had found her and they were together. So why did Foss say he'd found Kyle, but not Jessi? He wondered what had happened. Declan had always had a bad feeling about his friend going off to find the disturbed girl, and he never thought it would end well for Kyle. Obviously it hadn't. Declan indulged himself with a sardonic smile; it hadn't ended well with Jessi for him either. Or for Lori, come to that! Jessi had become a big problem for everybody it seemed. Declan lost himself in thoughts about all the crazy stuff that had been going on in his life, and in his head, since Kyle came along, particularly since his return from Connecticut – or should he say, from Adam Baylin's.

A twig snapped under Declan's feet and he suddenly realized he'd wandered from the clearing into the trees. There was no light anywhere; it was as if someone had suddenly thrown a blanket over his head. Declan pressed the switch on the flashlight in panic, praying to God-and-all-His-Angels-and-Saints-in-Heaven-and-I-promise-I-will-try-to-be-a-better-person that the battery hadn't given up. He let out a shaky sigh of relief as the tiny spot of light appeared on the ground a few feet in front of him. As he moved it the beam passed over something. Not entirely convinced he'd seen it at all, Declan swept the light back again, and sure enough, the unmistakable contours of a gray and white lace-up shoe, and the ankle it was attached to, glowed eerily in the blackness. Declan involuntarily jumped backward in shock, sucking in a breath to replenish the one he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He clutched his chest with his free hand.

"Kyle! Thank God! You scared the crap out of me!" Declan breathed as he tried to regain his composure. There was silence. "Kyle?" He shone the tiny beam back over and began trailing the light up the leg attached to the shoe. It was definitely Kyle, he recognized the footwear; but he was lying down. Declan hadn't absorbed that fact initially. The light caught Kyle's pale hand, palm up, fingers slightly curled, resting on the ground next to his thigh. Declan's heart began to thump so hard he was sure it could be heard out in the forest like an alarm. His bad feeling was back with a vengeance. The flashlight beam began to quiver under Declan's trembling grip as he continued upward past Kyle's hand. The gray of Kyle's jacket seemed to absorb the light, but the glint of the dart embedded in his back was unmistakable. Foss was right; he hadn't missed. Kyle was lying face down with his head turned away; but it wasn't necessary to see his face for Declan to know that he was unconscious.

Declan's legs turned to liquid and he fell hard on his knees in terror. His own breathing was rapid and his mouth was going dry. His worst nightmare was manifesting before his eyes. He didn't do situations like this! He shone the flashlight on Kyle's back once again, willing his friend to move. As though on cue, a small breeze whipped up and caused the dart in Kyle's back to twitch slightly. Between gasps for air, Declan realized that the dart wasn't as firmly embedded in Kyle's back as he'd first thought; it seemed more to be hanging awkwardly from the fabric of his jacket. Declan wondered if that was a good thing.

With all the courage he had left, Declan inched over beside his fallen friend and reached for the shaft of the offending object with his right hand. He couldn't bear the thought of turning Kyle over until he'd removed it. Now that he was closer, he also noticed the small patchy bloodstain. His stomach twitched uncomfortably. He hated Foss for doing this! And he hated himself for being so scared! He swallowed with difficulty, pinched his fingers firmly around the dart and tugged gently with a squeamish whimper. He winced as he felt it scrape along Kyle's skin before it caught in the fabric of the jacket. Declan inwardly cursed with frustration. He held the tiny flashlight between his teeth to free up his other hand and gingerly pressed it into the small of Kyle's back to hold the jacket taut. The fabric felt cold and damp. Two more tugs and the dart was free. Declan took a moment to inspect the object, noticing its tiny barbed tip designed to keep it from falling from its target. Kyle's blood was on it. Declan let out another squeamish moan as he tossed it as far away into the trees as he could, accidentally dropping the flashlight from his mouth onto Kyle's limp hand, which lay deathly still by Declan's knee.

He glanced down to retrieve the light and was suddenly struck by the silence around him. It felt like something had changed, if only he could put his finger on what it was. He turned his head, scanning the absolute darkness. He whipped the flashlight up and shone it around with futility. He held his breath to listen. Then it struck him. His eyes and flashlight beam fell to Kyle in an instant. Declan couldn't hear him breathing. He bent his ear a bit closer to Kyle's back. Is he breathing? Has he stopped breathing? Had he been breathing before? Oh God, Declan just didn't know! Panic gripped his heart and he jerked into action, not really knowing what to do.

He dropped the flashlight on the ground to his left, put one hand on Kyle's left shoulder, and the other on his hip. He pulled as hard as he could towards himself, grunting with the effort, trying to turn his friend over onto his back. Once Kyle had been pulled backwards over his limp arm, he rolled as though there were no substance to him at all. His other arm trailed slowly off his torso and landed by his side with a dull thud, punctuating the whole maneuver. The only sound after that was Declan's ragged breathing. He grabbed his flashlight and shone it onto Kyle's face looking for any sign of life.

The pallor of Kyle's skin was emphasized by the dark forest floor debris stuck to his right cheek. Declan frowned and reached over to brush it away then faltered. Instead, he tentatively rested the palm of his right hand on his friend's forehead. He hadn't expected Kyle to feel so cold. That couldn't be good. None of this was good. He forced himself to feel Kyle's neck for a pulse. He pressed gently in several places, searching out that telltale throb that would tell him Kyle was alive. Was that it? Was this? He thought he could feel a random pulse now and then, but he just wasn't sure. Tears began to form behind eyes. He didn't really know what he was doing and the skin under his fingertips was cold. So very, very cold.

He felt himself spinning further and further into his own mind where a much-dreaded memory jumped out at him: the one where Kyle was lying on the forest floor being resuscitated by Amanda. The memory superimposed itself over the scene in front of him now and he felt nauseous. _Oh God, no! I can't!_ Then with one final burst of willpower, and no thoughts at all in his head, Declan awkwardly pinched Kyle's nose and cupped his jaw like Amanda had done. He took a deep breath, leaned down and placed his mouth firmly on his friend's pale, slightly parted lips. They were so cold that Declan recoiled with another stricken whimper. He couldn't do it! Panic forced itself up and out of him.

"Fosssssssss!" he screamed out into the night.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Vows_)


	6. Vows

Very different promises are made.  
(24Nov07)

(Previous chapter: _Cold_)

* * *

Chapter 6:  
**Vows**

Out in the forest, Tom Foss stopped at the edge of the clearing and leaned against a tree. His lungs were on fire as he labored to slow his breathing. He had paced himself, but still the running had taxed him; he was in pretty good shape, if only a shadow of the young man who had passed his military training with honors. Nevertheless, he made a vow to himself that he would double his personal training time. He couldn't afford to fall short. Not now, not when lives depended on his being ready for action. He also vowed to intensify Kyle's training; the boy had to survive.

Foss reached down and unclipped the industrial flashlight that hung from his belt-loop. He crouched low as the powerful beam shot out through the clearing and made a sweep of the entire area. He pulled out his cell phone to call Declan, who should have been here waiting, only to discover that the battery had died. He drew back his lips in a snarl. Things were not going smoothly at all. It was all too sloppy. This is why he preferred to work alone.

"Where are you?" Foss hissed to himself. He knew he shouldn't have relied on Declan to follow orders. Kyle should never have involved his friend in all this. Foss disciplined himself and pushed that line of thinking aside for later, bringing him sharply back to the urgent matter at hand. Kyle. Where was he? Foss checked his watch. It had been over an hour now since he'd fired the gun. Time was running out. Kyle had to be here somewhere; Foss had been tracking him.

He glanced down at the device attached to his left wrist next to his watch. Perhaps he needed to refresh the signal. He pushed a button and the small display lit up. A list of figures appeared. Foss scanned it, selected one of the numbers and waited as the little device processed his request. Seconds later a set of coordinates appeared, and when selected, plotted a precise location on a detailed map of the area in which Foss stood. In Foss' experience, this was accurate to within a few yards. He analyzed the little map and was satisfied that it was no different to the one he'd been following before. In fact, the blinking target remained stationery. Foss thanked the creators of satellite navigation and pushed himself away from the tree as the little device began to emit a series of tones in his earpiece.

With his breathing almost back to normal, Foss headed cautiously off in the direction the device indicated, years of training making sure his feet made as little noise as possible on the damp forest floor. The tones intensified. He knew he was closing in on Kyle and continued to scan the area with the light. He had to be wary; if Kyle were still conscious, there would be no way of sneaking up on him. Suddenly the tones ceased to pulsate, transforming into one continuous sound. Foss stopped in his tracks and shone the light all around. No Kyle. Hoping Kyle hadn't developed an ability to become invisible, Foss considered the other possibility: Kyle and the dart that contained the emitter had become separated. Foss frowned and began a sweep of the ground at his feet.

His heart sank. Sure enough, glinting in the beam was the object in question; it lay about twelve feet away near a clump of grass. Foss cursed to himself and picked it up carefully. He held it up to the light and inspected the reservoir. It was still almost half full of clear liquid. He opened a flap on the rucksack and extracted a small box. He popped the dart carefully inside and stuffed the box back into the bag. He allowed himself to sigh inwardly with relief; Kyle hadn't received the full dose. That explained why he hadn't collapsed immediately as he should have. The concern now was that without careful monitoring, even half the dose could have a devastating effect on Kyle; and he knew that whatever had happened to the boy by the waterfall earlier had already taken it out of him physically. Foss had to find him! But how? He'd lost his ability to track him.

Like the answer to an unsaid prayer, Declan's voice suddenly howled Foss' name in the darkness. The fear and panic in the cry was unmistakable; Foss desperately hoped that meant the boy had found Kyle. Foss' military training forbade him to call back, so he waited for the next cry to give him the firm fix on its point of origin. He stood and tensed his muscles in readiness. "Come on!" he willed Declan to call out again.

oooOooo

In the trees beyond the opposite side of the clearing, Declan hovered helplessly over his lifeless friend. Tears began to trickle from his eyes as he bit back his squeamishness and once again placed his lips on Kyle's. He was just about to blow hard into his friend's lungs when he thought he felt the subtlest stream of air being sucked from his mouth. Declan held his breath and his tearful eyes widened involuntarily in hope. He pulled back and turned his head, pressing his right ear almost against Kyle's mouth. Nothing. Had he imagined it? His heart sank. He suddenly felt numb. Even if he knew how, there was no point to what he was doing: it had been too long. With that realization, everything seemed to take a few steps back and shift down a gear or two. He felt himself retreating to that safe place inside.

He slowly sat back on his haunches and shone the little flashlight downwards as he gingerly brushed the forest debris from Kyle's cheek. He was so cold, and Declan couldn't remember ever seeing anyone look so pale…and (as much as he didn't want to say it, not even in his head)…_dead_. Declan was beyond shock. He allowed himself to stare at his friend's face. It struck him how relaxed Kyle looked. He didn't think he'd ever seen Kyle without his brow permanently wrinkled for one reason or another. Visions of what he knew of Kyle's strange and sad life passed by his mind's eye, and it was almost a joy to see his friend so peaceful now.

He imagined Kyle lying in the ZZYZX tank before that vision superimposed itself onto one of Kyle lying in a coffin with the devastated Tragers all around, and Amanda. He choked. Poor Amanda. In his trance, Declan found himself in the vision, too, leaning down and gently kissing his friend's pale lips. "I'll never forget you, man," he whispered, feeling a terrible cold creeping into his heart. He returned to reality as he sat up, and still gazing down at Kyle's strangely beautiful face glowing in the dim light, he said flatly, "And I know you wouldn't approve…but I promise that when he gets here, I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch, Foss!"

With that, Declan took a deep breath and yelled again as loudly as he could.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Changes_)


	7. Changes

Something important about Kyle's time at ZZYZX is revealed.  
(27Nov07)

(Previous chapter: _Vows_)

* * *

Chapter 7:  
**Changes**

_Sometimes it takes a different point of view to make us see clearly what has been there all along. Something I couldn't explain was happening to me. At first I didn't know where I was, then I looked around with my mind's eye. I could sense things around me: shapes, colors, and sounds. Everything had a vibration, and somehow I knew how to interpret the information I was getting. I could tell it was dark and that I was in the forest with…Declan. Tom Foss was nearby and I knew Declan was going to hurt him. I had to stop it, but I didn't know how, because I had no sense of my own body at all. _

It didn't take Tom Foss long to locate Kyle. The bright beam of light from the industrial flashlight had picked him up easily in the direction from which he'd just heard Declan's cry. Declan, however, was nowhere to be seen. Foss knew he couldn't be very far away, but decided not to bother himself with that; right now, his primary concern was Kyle. He crouched down beside the lifeless boy, shivering as a ghostly sense of déjà vu washed over him, and planted the light in the dirt nearby. He flipped the lens a couple of times, turning the flashlight into a lantern, which illuminated the area quite adequately for several yards. He wriggled the rucksack off his back and retrieved his bottle of water. Without bothering to check for a pulse, Foss slipped his left hand under Kyle's neck and tilted his head right back. He unscrewed the cap from the bottle, pulled Kyle's mouth open and poured a good measure of the water in. Then he leaned his ear close to the boy's mouth, listening. He frowned.

"Come on, Kyle!" Foss growled. "Give me a sign here!" He waited a moment longer, then lifted both arms, balled his hands together and brought them down hard on Kyle's chest. Water sputtered from Kyle's mouth and ran down the sides of his head by his ears. Foss immediately poured more water in, pressing down on Kyle's tongue with two fingers, and held his ear close to the boy's mouth once again. What he had hoped to hear was suddenly masked by the footsteps approaching from behind.

Training made his reactions faster than most people's, so he managed to spin around and half stand up before taking a blow across the ribs; had he not risen as far, the blow would certainly have cracked his skull. He doubled over, rolled away from Kyle, and was on his feet in an instant. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, and he was somewhat winded from the attack. There, standing between himself and Kyle, was Declan wielding a heavy stick. His eyes glowed like hot coals in the torchlight as he tightened his grip on the stick and prepared for another charge at Foss.

"You stay away from him!" he snarled at Foss.

Foss prepared to defend himself, hands out in front. He knew Declan wouldn't be able to win the fight, but he could see the boy's distress and he knew that could be a mighty motivator. Foss grunted with frustration; he didn't have time for this. "I know you're upset, but just put the stick down," he urged.

"Upset?" Declan was enraged, but his voice was eerily cold. He jerked his head towards Kyle. "You did that to him! You think I'm going to let you get away with it? You think any of us are?"

Foss exhaled and lowered his hands. "You're right! I did do that. _For a good reason._ And if you stop this crap, I'll be able to _un_do it," he never took his eyes from Declan's. "Your call!"

"He's _dead_, Foss!" Declan spat. "D. E. A. D! Not breathing. No pulse. Stone cold. I even tried mouth-to-mouth, but it didn't work."

"That's because he's still alive. But if you carry on with this, he _will _die," Foss tried not to raise his voice. He lowered his arms fully to his sides. "We're both on the same side here, Declan. I can help Kyle." His frustration was growing. He glanced at Kyle and had to admit that indeed he did look very dead. Time was of the essence. "You have to trust me on this!" It was a genuine plea and he turned his hands palms up.

Declan transferred his weight from foot to foot nervously, and grinned insanely. "And why's that?" His emotions were starting to surface after having a seed of hope planted in his empty heart, and it hurt.

"Because I've done this before!" Foss shouted.

Declan faltered. Something rang true. He remembered Kyle telling him about how Foss had been the one who'd rescued him from termination at ZZYZX. How Professor Kern had tracked them both down and tried to kill Kyle himself. Was Foss lying about saving Kyle just to get Declan to back down? Could he trust this man who had done terrible things? Had he really done them to protect Kyle? Or did he have another motive? Why had he shot Kyle in the first place? Declan grimaced. He didn't know what to do!

Foss suddenly cut into Declan's thoughts. "If it makes you feel better, I'll let you beat the shit out of me later," he hissed with pain as he sucked in a deep breath. "But if you don't let me treat Kyle right now, he _will_ die…and it'll be your fault."

That was the wrong thing to say at that moment. Foss' words slammed against Declan's existing guilt and something snapped inside him. He lunged at Foss with a roar, swinging the stick at his head. Foss grabbed it and the two men wrangled, neither backing down nor losing his footing, although Declan's weak ankle was starting to give under the strain. They pushed against each other, their eyes wild and their noses almost touching.

_How could I stop this? My body was dead to me! Suddenly, out of somewhere, or nowhere, Adam Baylin's words gave me the answer: change within…change the world around me. I was surprised at how easily it came to me once I broke through the barrier in my mind. So, Adam had known all along what I was capable of. His theories were now reality, his experiment a success. He had created a…whatever I was. No wonder Madacorp would go to such lengths to take me apart. Adam believed I could touch the world, so I reached out with my mind to prove it…_

As Declan and Foss struggled to gain control over each other, they were suddenly aware of a ball of invisible energy building between them. Like a strong gust of wind, it burst outwards with a loud whoosh and blasted them apart. They landed hard, the large stick spinning away into the darkness. Trees creaked and debris whipped up from the forest floor by the blast continued to rain down for several seconds. Declan was the first to sit up. Dazed, he squinted across the darkness at Foss, who was just stirring. Foss pulled himself upright with a grunt, arm across his ribs, and stared back at Declan. Both men were speechless. They looked all around, back at each other, and then both had the same thought at the same time. They looked at Kyle…then back at each other.

Declan held his breath. Could Foss seriously have been right about Kyle not being dead? He shook his head. Of course he was dead! Kyle didn't do that! What was he thinking? Living people couldn't do that. Dead people certainly couldn't. What had happened anyway? He breathed out and rubbed his face with his hands, finally raking them back through his hair. His heart pounded achingly in his chest. But this was _Kyle…_the guy who could do things nobody could explain, least of all him! The seed of hope that had been planted in Declan's heart began to grow and he hated Foss even more for that.

As Foss stared at Declan, he could just about see the boy's thoughts on his face in the dim light. Foss knew many things about Kyle that Declan would never begin to understand, but this was something else. Foss had no doubts in his mind that Kyle was somehow responsible for what had just occurred. Then it dawned on him what had most likely happened by the waterfall earlier, only on a much bigger scale. Kyle had reached a new threshold and he probably couldn't control it. That would make him very scared and very dangerous. If he weren't so cold right now, who knows what he could have done a minute ago – even in his altered state of consciousness. And if Foss was right, it meant that Kyle had been aware of what was going on outside himself. More than ever, Foss knew he couldn't risk Madacorp getting hold of this very special boy.

Foss stood and dusted the pine needles from his clothes and hair. He made a calming gesture with his hands as he approached Declan. Declan was wary, but took the hand Foss extended to him and pulled himself up. They stared at each other in silence. Then Foss gave a short, sharp nod and hastily returned to kneel at Kyle's side. Declan followed cautiously, his heart pounding with anxiety, and knelt at his friend's other side. His eyes never left Foss once.

Foss took a swig of the bottled water and swallowed it loudly. He passed the bottle to Declan, who did the same. Then Foss poured a small amount into Kyle's mouth, as he had done earlier.

"Come on, Kyle, remember how to breathe," he spoke as though Kyle could hear him. Declan frowned and watched in bewilderment as Foss then leaned down and put his ear to Kyle's mouth. He'd never seen anything like this on TV. Pouring water down an unconscious person's throat did not seem to be a logical way of resuscitating them. But what did he know about first aid? Guilt stabbed at him; he was definitely going to take a course when all this was over.

"Good boy!" Foss uttered. When he came up again, Declan thought he could see relief in his eyes.

"Is he breathing?" Declan spoke for the first time in a while, shifting his weight anxiously from one knee to the other.

Foss almost smiled. "In a manner of speaking," he said in a surprisingly calm voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Declan was agitated. "Is he alive?"

"Listen for yourself," Foss said as he rummaged in the rucksack and retrieved a small black box.

Declan warily bent down as Foss had done. At first, he could hear nothing but the forest around him, and Foss' gentle movements. Then he became aware of another sound: a soft gurgling noise that was coming from somewhere deep in Kyle's throat, but it wasn't regular, like his own breathing, it was more constant. Declan sat up, puzzled. He noticed Foss was holding a hypodermic needle up to the light, flicking it gently with his finger, preparing it for use. Declan's knees quivered; he hated needles.

"You might want to look away," Foss said, noticing Declan's discomfort. "This part's not nice."

Declan was determined to keep an eye on Foss, and that meant not giving him the opportunity to do anything to Kyle without witness. "I'm good," he lied, and instantly regretted it as Foss buried the needle in the side of Kyle's neck, pushing the plunger firmly and steadily, emptying the reservoir of the neutralizing drug. It was obvious to Declan that Foss had used a needle before. Luckily, it was over with quickly. Declan closed his eyes for a second while the nausea washed over him. By the time he opened them, Foss had packed the needle away and was lifting Kyle's eyelids. He shone Declan's tiny flashlight into each eye. Declan was unnerved by how dark Kyle's usually clear eyes looked with dilated pupils. Foss sat back and exhaled slowly.

"So what now?" Declan asked.

After taking another swig of water from the bottle, Foss checked his watch then replied, "We wait. Let's hope I've got the dosage right."

Declan was confused. His friend seemed as dead as ever, and yet Foss no longer displayed a sense of urgency. "Wait for what?" Foss began packing the rucksack, fiddling with straps and zippers. Declan grew frustrated and poised to stand. He didn't understand what was happening. "Foss! For what?"

As if in direct response to Declan's question, Kyle suddenly arched his back and took in huge bubbly gasp of air. He shuddered a couple of times, exhaled slowly then went still again. Declan's heart almost stopped with the shock of it and he fell back hard on his rump.

"For that," Foss stated, almost nonchalantly, as he felt Kyle's neck for a pulse. He then began rubbing and patting Kyle's face firmly, trying to stimulate blood flow; the boy was cold as ice. "The last time wasn't so easy, was it?" Foss mumbled under his breath, shuddering as the ghostly memory of dragging…heart massage…more dragging…more heart massage sent a chill through him; he'd not had the luxury of the neutralizing drug that time.

Declan was stunned to silence. Kyle was alive! Even though to Declan he still looked pretty much dead. He chastised himself for his own stupidity. Foss had been telling the truth. What if he'd seriously injured or even killed Foss? It didn't bear thinking about. He opened his mouth to apologize, but couldn't. He sent a silent prayer out into the night begging forgiveness for his own cowardice. Feeling useless, he took Kyle's icy hand between his own and began rubbing and patting it as Foss was doing, his eyes on his friend's face the whole time. Both men began to relax a bit.

"What do we do now?" Declan finally worked up the courage to ask.

Foss eyed him for a moment. "We need to let the drug do its job for a little while longer. If we move him now he'll go into shock and that would be very bad for Kyle."

Declan looked over at Foss. "What did you give him?" he asked quietly.

Foss didn't see any harm in telling, the boy knew a lot already. "The drug in the dart was a cocktail they cooked up at ZZYZX. Its official name is something ridiculously complicated, but they just called it Sed227 in the lab. It's what they used on Kyle in the gestation tank. It was tailored to his specific physiology. It effectively paralyzed him, put him into a coma, or hibernation, or something. Although it's more complicated than that…as you can imagine." Foss paused and looked down at Kyle. "Likewise, the drug I've just given him is the specifically tailored neutralizer for Sed227, to bring him out of it."

"They shut him down with drugs so they could exploit his brain," Declan stated sadly.

Foss was surprised by Declan's insight; he hadn't given the boy much credit for intelligence until then. "Yeah," he said. "That's exactly it. Kyle spent sixteen years inside a tank of special fluid. How did you think they stopped him from waking up in there? And did you imagine he would breathe in and out like we do?"

Declan shuddered. "I've always stopped myself from thinking about it. I'm claustrophobic. But now that I _am_ thinking about it, what was it like? You saw him in there, didn't you?"

"I saw him," Foss stated. Declan noticed something that looked like discomfort flash fleetingly across Foss' face. Foss swallowed and said, "His chest didn't rise and fall when he was in there. In fact, he didn't move at all and nobody ever touched him that I saw. And there were no tubes attached to him either. There was just Kyle in the pink fluid. Everything was carefully filtered through the fluid. Oxygen, nutrients, waste products, drugs – everything."

"How were they able to use his brain if nothing was attached to it?" Declan was appalled, but somewhat intrigued by the science that was no longer fiction. He'd never really considered the 'how' about Kyle before.

"From what I know, they had clusters of sensors at the top of the tank that detected electrical impulses through the fluid. The computer could communicate directly with certain parts of the brain. It could also translate Kyle's responses through his neural impulses. I don't know exactly what they were doing to him most of the time. I wasn't part of his maintenance team, as such, but it's amazing what you pick up by standing around keeping an eye on things," Foss murmured.

It was obvious to Declan that these memories were vivid and uncomfortable for Foss. For the first time ever, he found himself feeling a bit sorry for him. "Maintenance team," Declan echoed.

Foss looked at him. "Sounds cold, doesn't it?" Declan nodded as Foss said, "To them he was just a multi-billion-dollar organic super computer. Theirs to experiment on, theirs to…switch off." His tone was disdainful. He looked back at Kyle's face and felt his cheek with the back of his hand. It was marginally warmer than before. Declan was moved by Foss' tenderness towards Kyle. He had never seen that before. When Foss spoke again, it was as though he spoke to nobody in particular. "I used to leave piano music playing in the room. If he was aware, I didn't want him to feel like he was alone." There was an unusual expressiveness to his voice.

Declan reeled. Maybe he'd gotten Foss all wrong. It was obvious the man cared about Kyle's welfare. Maybe he had a heart after all. He also wondered why Foss was telling him all these things. "That was a good thing to do," Declan said genuinely. "Maybe that's why Kyle loves listening to his friend, Amanda, play. Maybe he remembers."

Foss cleared his throat and looked up at Declan, clearly awkward. "Who knows what it was like for him in there," he said, returning to his usual flat tone. He looked back down at Kyle and leaned over to check his eyes. The pupils were still dilated, but Declan thought he could hear breathing. Sure enough, Kyle was drawing in a very slow breath, though it still bubbled a bit. That got Declan curious.

"What's with the water down the throat?" he asked Foss, who was tapping Kyle's cheeks again. "I've never seen that."

Foss actually smiled a bit. "I improvised."

"What?" Declan's eyes widened in horror.

Foss seemed to find his reaction amusing. "According to Baylin's notes," he explained, "Kyle's body's far more efficient than ours and he can go on a lot less oxygen for a lot longer than we can. Let's just say that the longer Kyle spent in the tank, the more his lungs developed differently to ours. His physiology changed to accommodate the fluid. And part of the function of the Sed227 was to force that change and sustain it while he was in the tank. All I did was give him fluid like the Sed227 in the dart told him his lungs needed. If I hadn't, he would be dead now."

All this visualizing was touching Declan's squeamish nerve, but he was starting to get a picture of what Foss was saying. "So, by giving him this…this neutralizer, you told his body to change back to breathing air?"

Foss nodded, impressed. "Something like that," he said, listening to check on Kyle's slow breathing. "Baylin's notes also said that the longer Kyle was in the tank, the more chance he would have of surviving the extraction process. None of the others before him survived because their lungs couldn't cope with the changeover from fluid to dry air."

"He was in there for sixteen _years_. I guess that gave him the edge," Declan shuddered to think how many others there might have been before Kyle. The whole tank thing turned his stomach.

Foss nodded. "And theoretically, according to Baylin, if a gestation subject remained in the tank until fully developed, then adaptation would be complete." He swept a hand absently over Kyle's forehead. "That means Kyle has the ability to change his physiology to cope with extreme environments. Theoretically."

"Are you telling me that Kyle can breathe underwater?" Declan gasped.

Foss shrugged. "I'm not a biologist. We don't know exactly what he can do yet. That's why I've been working with him. But I do know that if he doesn't learn to discipline himself, and keep his body as strong as possible, using his abilities will kill him."

Declan stared at Foss for a long moment. Things started to make sense in his mind about the weird things Kyle had done since arriving at the Tragers. Declan remembered Kyle's first day at the pool, how he'd been at the bottom for some time before Amanda got to him. He hadn't even choked when he was hauled out. And how Josh was always teasing Kyle about being an alien because he used to lie for ages submerged in a bubble bath. Amanda said he'd jumped off the Tragers' roof once. Declan had even witnessed Kyle walk into a burning building, come out with his clothes on fire and not have a blister on him. Then there was the methane gas at the old ZZYZX site. Kyle had lasted a lot longer than everyone else until…

"But he's not indestructible," Foss said firmly, as though reading Declan's thoughts. He placed a hand inside Kyle's clothing and withdrew it with a frown. "If the drug doesn't kill him, this cold will. It's slowing everything down. We need to get him warm. We can't wait any longer."

"Who are you really?" Declan blurted before he realized what he was saying.

Foss slammed shut like a prison door. "Stop with the questions. We need to get back to the van. Now!"

Declan felt the atmosphere change in an instant. Foss had reverted to ice man. He watched in silence as Foss folded the lantern back into a flashlight and thrust it, and the rucksack, at him. Declan didn't argue. He knew better. He watched in awe as Foss hauled Kyle into a sitting position, hooked his head under the boy's arm and with a few grunts and adjustments was soon standing with Kyle slung over his shoulder like a side of beef. Kyle's head and one arm flopped against Foss' back as he adjusted the distribution of weight, fiddled with the device on his wrist then began walking off. Declan fell into step beside him and shone the light ahead. After a few minutes had passed, Declan couldn't bear the awkward silence any longer.

"Hey, Foss!" he asserted. "I get that you don't trust me and all, so why bother talking to me about all that stuff?"

Foss didn't even change pace as he tightened his grip on Kyle and replied, "What makes you so sure I was talking to _you_?"

* * *

(Next chapter: _Hurting_)


	8. Hurting

Lori struggles with her feelings.  
(01Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Changes_)

* * *

Chapter 8:  
**Hurting **

Lori's life was a nightmare!

Kyle, her mysterious adopted brother – or whatever he was – had upset everybody, and betrayed her by going off on some mercy mission to rescue Jessi, the runaway slugger-thief girl from Hell. Her mom had gone into worry-about-Kyle mode, which meant there was probably going to be no chance of a decent two-way conversation until Kyle came back. Her dad had given his creased brow a break from obsessing about espionage by Madacorp long enough to order in Chinese that nobody wanted, and her dumb-ass brother…she dropped it. For once, she cut Josh some slack from the family execution by judgment; he'd had enough on his plate to deal with since Andy had flipped her lid at the charity event and let on that she had cancer. Lori just wished that Josh didn't idolize Kyle so much. As for Declan, he was the worst.

Lying across her bed staring at the ceiling just wasn't satisfying enough, so she rolled onto her stomach and dug her nails into the furry hippo she had been cuddling. She looked down at it and suddenly it was Declan she was clawing at. She growled and wrestled with the purple toy before pressing her thumbnails into its eyes and throwing it as hard as she could across the room. Why was Kyle more important to Declan than she was? That same thought had been battering her all day since she'd realized Declan was in on something big that involved Kyle and that creepy guy, Tom Foss. It circled round and round her like a pack of wolves, and it made her blood boil. All this time! Hillary had made the understatement of the year when she said that the intensity of the Kyle/Declan relationship had gotten in the way of the Lori/Declan one.

Her anger turned to Kyle. Everybody always forgave 'poor Kyle' because he was 'special'. Could she? Lori wasn't sure at all. He had known all along why Declan was shutting her out and he hadn't said a word. He was supposed to be her brother! He should have helped her. Who would've thought that sweet, clueless, yet insanely clever, little Kyle was capable of keeping even bigger secrets and lying to everybody? Lori dreaded the thought of what those other things he had been keeping under his hat might be, considering how easily Kyle managed to get past people's defenses. And what did Jessi Hollander have to do with all this? A terrible thought crept into Lori's mind: could it be possible that one of Saint Kyle's secrets was that he had been cheating on Amanda? She recalled all those times after school when he would disappear for hours and never say where he'd been, or whom he'd been with.

Lori cringed at the memories of pouring her heart out to Kyle about her relationship troubles with Declan, and crying on his shoulder after Declan broke up with her. The 'sympathetic' looks Kyle gave her across the dinner table, the supposedly innocent questions. It brought a terrible bitter taste to her mouth just thinking about it. This whole time Kyle had known what Declan's problem was, because his problem was Kyle.

But for the life of her, Lori could not imagine what it was about Kyle that could make Declan McDonough so airtight for so long that not even a microbe could penetrate him. She felt her insides tense up with hot outrage for the millionth time that day and screamed inwardly that she hoped none of them would come back. Ever.

She hated them all.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Burdens_)


	9. Burdens

The race is on to help Kyle.  
(03Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Hurting_)

* * *

Chapter 9:  
**Burdens**

Foss had carried many burdens in his life, but this boy, and everything he stood for, was the heaviest of them all. Now that burden was literal, and as Kyle's dead weight pressed down on his neck and shoulders, Foss began to struggle with fatigue, stumbling every now and then on the slightly uneven terrain. He and Declan had been walking in silence through the darkness for some time. Declan had to admire the man's determination and sheer physical fitness, but he was aware that no man could go on like that indefinitely. The older man's breathing was becoming labored and his pace was slowing down. Foss' left arm gripped Kyle's legs, and his right arm was hooked through Kyle's left as he hung upside down across the man's back. Even though the air was cold, sweat trickled down Foss' face, which he occasionally wiped against the fabric of Kyle's jeans.

Declan finally broke the silence. "Let me carry him for a while. You need a rest."

Foss continued his relentless trudging along the overgrown trail that Declan knew eventually led to the parked cars. Eventually Foss panted, "Your ankle wouldn't take the weight. And after everything else, I don't want to risk you dropping him and adding a broken neck to Kyle's problems right now."

Though Foss made him feel stupid and useless, as usual, Declan kind of saw his point. His ankle was giving him some trouble now and he was limping quite badly. It amazed him how Foss could be aware of so many things at once. He had a strong feeling once again that there was more to this man than any of them knew. "Then at least stop for a few minutes and rest," Declan insisted.

Foss relented with a sigh and changed direction, wandering towards the edge of the trail. Declan shone the flashlight ahead and saw that Foss was heading for a large tree. The exhausted man leaned down a bit and was just about to maneuver Kyle off his shoulder and brace him against the tree when Declan rushed over.

"Foss, for God's sake let me help!" he blustered, genuinely wanting to assist.

Foss stopped what he was doing then said, breathily, "Okay. You put your back against the tree and catch Kyle under the arms as I slide him off."

Declan put the flashlight on the ground and edged himself between Foss and the tree ready to grab Kyle from behind. Foss crouched down until Kyle's feet touched the ground, then just before the boy's legs could collapse, he tilted him swiftly over his shoulder and he flopped backwards against Declan. Declan grunted as Kyle's weight squeezed the air out of his lungs; he was heavier than he looked. Declan hooked his hands together around Kyle's chest to hold him up while Foss released himself with a huge groan of relief. Declan fell back against the tree as Kyle suddenly began to slip through his arms. To avoid losing him altogether, Declan slid down the tree trunk and landed unceremoniously on his rump with his legs outstretched either side of Kyle like a human armchair. Kyle half lay in front of him with his knees drawn up and his clothes bunched up on his chest revealing his strange, bellybutton-less midriff.

Declan scrambled his way into a more comfortable position against the tree and heaved Kyle up against him. As he moved his hands to adjust Kyle's position, Declan felt his bare skin and was relieved that it was relatively warm. He quickly pulled Kyle's clothing back down before he got cold again then wrapped his arms around his friend, hugging him as close as he could, hoping his own body heat would warm him. Kyle's head fell back against Declan's right shoulder, his forehead coming to rest against Declan's jaw. It felt cold, but not the stone coldness that had haunted Declan earlier. This was good news and it filled his heart with hope. He let himself relax a bit and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. Kyle's hair tickled his nose and held the earthy aroma of the forest floor with a hint of shampoo. These things were reassuring, but the most comforting thing of all was the slow, steady rhythm of Kyle's breathing, and the rising and falling of his chest beneath Declan's arms.

Foss, still somewhat breathless, crouched down in front of them and checked Kyle's pulse while laying a hand on the boy's forehead. He gave Declan a nod then proceeded to get the water from his rucksack. He took a long draft and offered it to Declan, who refused. Then Foss took the tiny flashlight and shone it into Kyle's eyes. Declan felt Kyle twitch slightly and said so. Foss frowned a bit before putting the flashlight away. He reached over for the large one and converted it into a lantern once more, praying the battery didn't give out. He leaned back into a sitting position and flexed his shoulders in small circles to release the tension that had built up there.

"How long do you think it'll be before he comes out of it?" Declan asked, once again tightening his grip on Kyle, trying to keep the warmth in.

Foss wiped his face with the back of his hand. "I don't know. He had a massive dose of the Sed227. I didn't know how much of the neutralizer to give him. I didn't want to overdo it and put him into shock."

Declan was worried. "You mean he could be like this forever?"

"No!" Foss snapped. "It'll wear off on its own eventually. He's breathing well, his pulse is strong, and the color's coming back to his face a bit. Those are good signs, but I can't tell you whether he'll be out for another hour, or another month. This isn't your common-or-garden sleeping tablet we're dealing with! And he needs to get warm."

"Well, how long did it take him to wake up when you brought him out of ZZYZX?" Declan persisted.

Foss pursed his lips in frustration, but he was too tired to argue. He sighed. "That was different. He didn't have as big a dose of the Sed227 in his system then. They followed strict orders at ZZYZX to give him small doses at regular intervals in the tank. It was all carefully monitored." He paused before muttering, "And they never used the neutralizer on him. They didn't need it."

"Why?" Declan asked before he'd really thought about it. Foss gave him a look that said it all. Declan's eyes widened as it hit him that ZZYZX never intended to reverse Kyle's suspension, because they never intended for him to come out of the tank. He had been destined to spend his whole life in there. Declan shuddered his way out of that chilling thought and realized his grip on Kyle had tightened. He consciously loosened it a bit. "So why bother to make a neutralizer if they were never going to need it?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

Foss snapped irritably, "Let's just be grateful they did bother, OK?" Then he sighed and said more calmly, almost apologetically, "I don't know why. What I do know is that they only made a tiny amount, and I've got all of it." He started fiddling with the navigation device on his wrist.

Declan got the message loud and clear that Foss didn't want to answer any more questions. The man looked exhausted, and not just physically. Declan rested his jaw firmly against Kyle's head, closed his eyes and willed him to wake up. He thought he felt Kyle twitch again, but put it down to wishful thinking. His eyes drifted back to Foss and he found himself sympathizing. As much as he felt uneasy around Foss, Declan knew Kyle's survival had depended on him, and for that reason alone, he was willing to put his own discomfort about the man aside. He didn't want to add to Foss' burdens with his endless interrogation. His thoughts drifted again to Kyle, wishing he would just wake up so Foss wouldn't have to carry him. He wished his own ankle were strong enough; he'd carry Kyle himself if he could. His guilt about giving up on his friend earlier needed him to take on that burden. Suddenly Kyle let out a sigh that put both Declan and Foss on full alert. They both looked at each other before Foss leaned in and took Kyle's face in his hands.

"Kyle? Can you hear me?" he almost demanded. There was no response. "Kyle!" Foss moved his hands down from Kyle's face and gripped his shoulders. He shook the boy gently but firmly. "Come on, Kyle, open your eyes!"

It was at that point that Declan felt Kyle's chest expand as he inhaled deeply and let out a bubbly cough. Declan couldn't see his face, so he looked at Foss' to gauge the situation. Foss stared intently as he took Kyle's face in his hands again. Kyle's eyes fluttered open for the briefest of moments before he let out a gentle noise somewhere between a murmur and a long sigh then was still once more. Foss' expression changed, but Declan was finding it hard to tell what it meant. The one thing Declan was sure of, however, was that Kyle hadn't woken up. Yet, something else was bothering him.

"Come on, let's get going. We're almost there," Foss said before Declan could mention anything then went about pulling Kyle from his grasp in readiness for the final haul.

Declan picked up the rucksack and lantern and lingered against the tree for a moment. He had heard something in Kyle's sigh, his head had been right next to him. He could have sworn he heard a word.

_Amanda._

_

* * *

_

(Next chapter: _Connection_)


	10. Connection

Amanda struggles with her thoughts and feelings.  
(05Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Burdens_)

* * *

Chapter 10:  
**Connection**

_Amanda! _

Amanda woke with a start. She sat up, fully clothed, and looked at her bedside clock: nine-thirty. Once her disorientation passed, she lay back down on her bed and stared at her luggage. She had tried to keep herself busy since her awkward conversation with Kyle that morning and his call to her in the afternoon. She had played the piano, finished packing, spent some time with her mom then retired to her room to listen to some music, because it always relaxed her. This time it must have _really _relaxed her, she mused, because she'd fallen asleep for over an hour and the CD had finished! It was strange, because she had thought she wouldn't be able to sleep. Butterflies danced in her tummy at the thought of leaving for New York. She had never been away from home for so long before, especially on her own. Moreover, the Conservatory had high expectations of her, which added to her anxiety. Excitement blended with terror.

Thoughts of Kyle persistently knocked against her mind and she tried desperately not to think about him. They hadn't really had a chance to discuss in detail her going away. She'd sprung it on him that morning, and both of them were upset. She had no idea how he really felt about it. Come to think of it, she didn't know how he really felt about anything; Kyle had been acting quite strangely lately, more strangely than was usual for him. There was an air of anxiety about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on. He seemed distracted and tense. She wondered if maybe he was having a delayed reaction to his parents' death, and felt uneasy (or a little guilty) about coming back to live with the Tragers. Nicole had once told her that grief always affected people differently, and Kyle's life situation had been far from ordinary.

Amanda had asked him if he was having doubts about their relationship, but he'd promised her it wasn't that. Amanda didn't push him to talk, because Kyle usually opened up eventually without prompting, but now she wished she had. She worried that he always put so much emphasis on everyone else's feelings that he often neglected his own. It was one of the things she loved about Kyle. He really managed to touch people with the almost ridiculous simplicity of his unique point of view. It was strange that he always seemed to get so worked up about things that everyone else took for granted, and yet he never seemed to express his feelings about the major events in his life. But Amanda had given up worrying about whether that was normal or not…it was normal for Kyle. And he was very precious to her.

So why had he been so wrapped up with Jessi lately? That thought came from left field so suddenly it almost made her physically jump. An uncomfortable feeling undulated through her intestines and she tried to push it back down by rolling onto her side. Jessi had been a big problem for Amanda. She still got a horrible taste in her mouth remembering Jessi with her hand on Kyle's bare stomach after the charity event. And she had never confessed to Kyle what Jessi had said to her when they were in the underground tunnels in the woods, because she hadn't wanted him to see how insecure she really was.

Amanda had made it very clear that she and Kyle were together. She tried not to think about it, but the memory pushed its way into her mind anyway, along with the terrible insecurity. Jessi's words dug into her gut painfully. _It's not supposed to be that way. Once we get to know each other he'll understand…Kyle and I have a connection…I don't want Declan, I want Kyle. _The menace in her voice, the darkness in her face. Amanda thought she had dealt with her feelings, and Kyle himself had said that the only reason he spent time with Jessi was because she was troubled and he wanted to help her. If he had been anyone other than Kyle, she wouldn't have believed them for a second; after Charlie's betrayal, Amanda was painfully aware that even people close to you might lie. But not Kyle. Surely not Kyle.

They had always been close and when she finally realized that his deep and prolonged commitment to her happiness was genuine, something inside her opened up for him like a flower. But Kyle always hovered a breath away, like a butterfly afraid to land and taste the nectar. He always gazed at her as though she were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and yet he never ever made a move to touch her. She pictured that gaze, deep and dark, and frowned at the realization. Kyle had never initiated any kind of physical contact whatsoever; it had always been her. What did that mean? It seemed to Amanda that the more intimately involved the two of them became, the more she realized how little she really knew about Kyle. Therein lay the dichotomy: Kyle was honest to a fault, she knew that, but he was also keeping secrets from her. She knew that too. And one of those secrets was Jessi. _Kyle and I have a connection._ What had Jessi meant by that? To Amanda, knowing how emotionally unpredictable Jessi was, _any _kind of connection with Kyle was not a good thing.

Discomfort reared its ugly head and Amanda rose from the bed to search out the sheet music that Kyle had asked her to download earlier. What did that piece of music have to do with him and Jessi? At the time, he'd said he was with Jessi and that they were trying to figure something out, that the music possibly held the key. The key to what?

"She Could Be You," Amanda read the title out loud and scanned the music.

Confusion washed over her as the insecurity grew uncomfortably large inside her. Was Kyle somehow trying to tell her through music something that he couldn't say to her with words? Or was the message in the song for Jessi? Could it be that Jessi and Kyle had a special song? Was this song the 'connection' Jessi had mentioned before? A flood of irrational jealousy squeezed its way to her hands and she scrunched them into fists, screwing the paper she was holding into a crumpled mess. She flung it away from her and sat hard on the bed with an exasperated growl. Was she already that much of a sucker for Kyle that she wasn't seeing the wood for the trees? Isn't that how Charlie had managed to get away with things for so long? The little white angel that sat on her right shoulder jabbed at her conscience and told her to look in her heart; she should know that Kyle wouldn't lie about his feelings for her. She should trust him. And surely he wouldn't let her leave for New York without saying goodbye!

As she wrestled with the inner demons that all seemed to have Jessi's face, she stared longingly at her phone. She really, really needed to talk to Kyle, because something just did not feel right.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Orders_)


	11. Orders

Tension is high as Foss gives the orders.  
(09Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Connection_)

* * *

Chapter 11:  
**Orders **

The sound of a billion spatters in the night almost drowned out the sound of trudging as Foss and Declan battled their way through the forest. The rain had been falling for about fifteen minutes. Since their short rest some time ago, Foss had carried Kyle over his shoulder without stopping. It became clear to Declan that Foss had not oversold himself to Kyle as the man for the job when it came to teaching him how to condition himself. It also became clear to Declan why he and Kyle had both feared Tom Foss so much in the beginning. He could tell that Foss was in pain, but somehow he was putting that aside and focusing on his current mission. The man was unbelievable, and Declan had to admire his focus and sheer stamina.

Declan, on the other hand, was not feeling quite so focused. He was cold, wet and his ankle was throbbing mercilessly, reminding him of its presence with every step. He pulled the collar of his jacket up as far as it would go in an attempt the keep the cold rain from running down his neck more than it already had. It had been the end to a perfect nightmare, Declan bemoaned to himself as he limped awkwardly. He looked sidelong at Foss, but knew there was no point in talking to him because he wouldn't get a reply. The man was too breathless to hold any kind of conversation. Declan walked beside him guiding the way with the industrial flashlight and nearly jumped out of his skin when Foss suddenly spoke.

"What's that?" he panted loudly, the rain almost drowning out his exhausted voice.

Declan squinted ahead into the rain and saw that the beam had caught some fallen logs that blocked the trail. Then he recognized them.

"Foss, we made it!" he couldn't keep the relief from his voice, because he knew that on the other side of those logs were parked two vehicles.

"I…don't…mean…that," Foss puffed. "I…mean… that…noise."

Declan, still reeling with relief, made himself listen. A few paces further on he became aware of a noise that hadn't been there before, a low, muffled sound seeping in from somewhere behind Foss. He dropped back a bit, still shining the flashlight ahead of them. The sound was there again and Declan's eyes widened as he pinpointed its origin.

"I think it's Kyle!" Declan said, becoming animated.

Foss carried on dragging his feet along, determined to reach the fallen logs. Declan hung back and hovered with his head bent down trying to determine if Kyle was awake. He didn't think so, but every now and then he heard Kyle murmur. Declan couldn't tell if there were any coherent words in the muffled sounds, because Kyle's face was pressed against Foss' jacket.

"I'm serious, Foss! Stop!" urged Declan grabbing the man's arm.

By the time Declan got a response from Foss, they had reached the fallen logs. Foss stopped and his knees almost collapsed, so he braced them against the nearest log, which was about thigh high. Declan wriggled the rucksack off his back, dropped the flashlight and braced himself underneath Kyle.

"I've got him. Let go!" Declan ordered loudly so he could be heard over the rain.

"No!" Foss barked. "On…here!" and he rested Kyle's legs against the mossy wood.

Declan realized what Foss was doing and supported Kyle's weight and pushed upwards. Foss let out a loud cry as he let go of Kyle's legs and wriggled his way out from beneath him before falling to his knees with exhaustion. As Foss let go, Declan was unable to stop the momentum and Kyle fell backwards with a painful sounding thump. Foss knelt on the ground and continued to suck in loud, gasping breaths, while Declan straightened up and leaned over Kyle sprawled out across the tops of the mossy fallen logs, patchy sprigs of fern sticking up here and there around his body. It was too dark to see properly, so Declan grabbed the big flashlight and sat it on the log a little way from Kyle. In the dim light, he could see the dark spots of rain appearing on the front of Kyle's jacket, which up to that point had been kept dry by Foss' back. He could also see that Kyle was lying on his back shivering, the rain splashing onto his face, and he seemed to be muttering something to himself. Declan scrambled up the log beside him, wincing as he wrenched his sore ankle on a protruding branch stump in the process.

"Kyle?" Declan called gently, laying his hand absently on Kyle's chest.

Declan would never forget the warmth that coursed through his body as Kyle tilted his head ever so slightly in response. It wasn't much, but it was enough to reassure Declan. The murmuring stopped for only a second before continuing. Declan bent his ear close to Kyle's mouth.

"What's he saying?" It was Foss, who was suddenly standing up holding the rucksack, flexing his sore shoulders.

Declan listened a bit more then had to concede. "I don't know. Sounds like a foreign language to me…only speeded up."

"Hungarian no doubt," Foss commented with a measure of irony as he heaved his stiff limbs over the logs and began searching his pockets for his van keys. He disappeared round the back of his van and emerged a few moments later with something in his arms.

"Here," he ordered unfurling a plastic groundsheet. "Hold this over him."

Declan got a chill down his spine as the pungent odor of the groundsheet hit him; images of body bags came to mind as he did as he was told and held the plastic over Kyle – and partially over himself like a kid with a flashlight under the bedcovers. The sound of the rain hitting the plastic was quite deafening and Declan almost fell off the log when Kyle's eyes suddenly snapped open. He managed to get a good look before they closed again; they were dark with dilation, and disturbingly…_blank_. Kyle was definitely not really conscious, yet he was still muttering to himself unintelligibly, and now Declan noticed that his limbs were twitching intermittently, too. A horrible thought began to creep into Declan's mind and he tried desperately to push it away: what if Foss had caused Kyle severe brain damage? The man had admitted he'd given a massive dose of this Sed227 – more than Kyle had ever had before – and then admitted he didn't know how much neutralizer to administer. What if Foss had gotten it all wrong?

Suddenly Foss was there, lifting the groundsheet and coming underneath. He held a hypodermic needle and began inserting it into Kyle's neck. Declan could hardly believe what he was seeing, and for a split-second thought he might be hallucinating, considering what he'd just been thinking about.

"No!" he screamed. His arms were holding up the groundsheet so he could do nothing at that point except watch helplessly as Foss ignored him and pushed the plunger evenly until the reservoir was empty.

Once Foss had withdrawn the needle completely, Declan scrambled out from under the sheet, over the logs and pulled Foss backwards before the man could take a breath, knowing that if Foss hadn't been so exhausted, it never would have been possible to surprise him like that. Declan managed to swing his fist and felt it crunch against Foss' teeth before he suddenly found himself flat on his back on the wet ground. Foss stood over him, terrifying in his lack of reaction. He felt his lip, turned his head away and spat blood before walking back over to Kyle.

When Declan got back over there, Foss was searching Kyle's pockets. He retrieved something, took Declan's hand and slapped a set of car keys into it. They were Declan's. He glared at Foss, wanting so badly to kill him, but knew that he would never stand a chance; the man was too well trained. Declan looked at Foss' swollen lip, rubbed his own sore knuckles, and smiled inwardly to himself. One thing he did know was that when this was all over, he was going to take Foss up on his earlier offer of letting Declan beat the shit out of him. Declan clenched his fist and felt the keys.

"I'm not leaving without Kyle," he stated.

Foss didn't even look at him as he said, "I'm counting on that."

Declan was taken aback. Foss was his usual icy self as he felt Kyle's pulse and checked his eyes, and yet there was a distinct lack of animosity, as though none of what had just happened had just happened. Declan was struggling. He considered that maybe he had imagined the whole thing. He swept a hand back through his wet hair.

"Before you ask, I gave him the rest of the dose of the neutralizer," Foss said. "I don't have time for your interrogation. All you need to know is that yes, I lied. I didn't give Kyle the correct dose earlier because I didn't want to take the risk of him waking up and running away again. But I did give him enough to stabilize him."

Declan's mouth dropped open, literally. "What?" he uttered barely audibly. "You kept him paralyzed like this _on purpose_?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Foss looked up at him. "And now you're going to take Kyle somewhere safe before he wakes up."

Declan was still speechless. This man confused him more than Kyle ever had!

Foss continued as he began pulling at Kyle in preparation to move him again. "Now, it is vital that we get Kyle warmed up, or he really won't come out of it, so help me get him onto the back seat of your car."

Suddenly Declan found his voice, though it came out flatter than he intended. "Wait here." He limped off to his car and started the engine, turned up all the heating and then went to the back and pulled out a pile of sleeping bags, pillows and blankets. He made a mattress on the back seat and threw the spares over the seat in front then returned to Foss.

Foss looked somewhat surprised. "What's with all the bedding?"

Declan winked wickedly and nudged Foss' arm with his elbow. "Come on, Foss, weren't you a teenager once?"

Foss' expression was unreadable, as usual. He turned back to what he was doing and muttered, "Of course I was. Just not a very popular one."

"You're kidding me, right?" Declan oozed sarcasm.

Foss ignored him as he once again heaved Kyle over his shoulder and carried him to the car. With a lot of grunting and shunting, they both managed to get Kyle onto the back seat. He'd stopped speaking in tongues, Declan noticed, and there was a slight flush in his cheeks. He was still shivering, however. Foss loosened Kyle's wet jacket a bit then proceeded to wrap him tightly in the spare sleeping bag and blankets. When he'd finished, Kyle looked like a fly on a spider's menu.

Declan protested, "Loosen the blankets, man, or he won't be able to move when he wakes up!"

"That's the idea," said Foss as he shone the tiny flashlight into Kyle's eyes a final time; Kyle flinched and turned his head with a murmur. "Won't be too long now. You'd better get going."

Declan was suddenly nervous. "Where am I taking him?"

Foss shut Kyle's door then got into the front passenger seat. Declan walked round and got into the driver's seat. The warmth inside the car was wonderful, but his rapture was short-lived as Foss gripped his wrist to command his attention.

"You will take Kyle somewhere Madacorp doesn't know about," he ordered. "Your house maybe."

"What about you?" Declan inquired, glancing down at Foss' hand gripping his wrist like a vice.

"There's something I need to take care of here. I'll contact you later and we'll regroup in the morning."

Declan studied Foss' face. His eyes shone with clarity; it was obvious that Foss' faculties were unaffected by his exhaustion. Declan also knew there would be no point in asking Foss his business.

Foss continued with an urgent edge to his voice. "And if Kyle doesn't wake up before you reach your destination, you let him sleep it off. Under no circumstances are you to take him to a hospital, the drugs in his system will raise too many suspicions." Foss looked Declan in the eye. "Do you understand?" Declan nodded. Foss continued, "Kyle is not going to be very happy when he wakes up. He will most likely be confused and maybe scared. But you must not let him run away."

Declan frowned. "How do I stop a guy with Kyle's abilities if he wants to go?"

"Improvise," said Foss flatly. "It's all you can do."

"What about Jessi?" Declan asked, suddenly worried that she might still be wandering out in the woods somewhere.

"Kyle is my priority," Foss stated and he opened the door.

Despite his own reservations about Foss, Declan believed him. And in his own weird way, Foss had given Declan a sense of purpose at a time in his life when he was feeling particularly useless. Above all, whatever else the man had done, he had saved his friend's life, and Declan had to be grateful for that.

"Thanks for saving Kyle's life," he said as unemotionally as he could.

Foss gave a curt nod. "Like I said, we're both on the same side here." His eyes flicked back to the precious cargo bundled in blankets on the back seat. "For his sake, I'm trusting you against my better judgment."

Kyle suddenly gave a chesty cough.

"Now get going," Foss ordered as he slid out of the car. "And if anything happens to Kyle, I'll kill you." He slammed the door shut and stood in the rain while Declan turned the car round.

Declan watched Foss' soaked form shrink in the rear-view mirror then said, "Not if I kill you first."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Disconnection_)


	12. Disconnection

Lori makes a serious misjudgment.  
(10Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Orders_)

* * *

Chapter 12:  
**Disconnection**

Amanda could bear it no longer. She had to speak to Kyle, but he wasn't answering his cell. She dialed Lori's. She knew Lori was in her room, because the light was on and there was music playing; and Amanda generally heard everything that came from Lori's bedroom. She heard the music go off.

"Hi Amanda," Lori sounded edgy as she picked up the call.

"Hi Lori, I'm sorry. I know it's late. Hey, are you ok?" Amanda asked, realizing Lori didn't sound her usual self.

Lori sighed and said sarcastically, "If you call being on lockdown all day ok, then yeah. I'm great."

Amanda was confused. "Lockdown?"

"It's a long story for another day," Lori sighed. "Anyway, what's up?"

"I really need to talk to Kyle, but his phone's off or something. Is he home yet?"

Lori was taken by surprise. "How did you know Kyle was out?"

"He called me earlier this afternoon," Amanda said, unaware of the suspicions she was arousing in Lori.

"Oh, he did, did he?" Lori tried to sound disinterested. "Any gossip?"

Amanda was feeling somewhat frustrated and asked again, "Lori, seriously, is he back yet? I really need to talk to him."

"You and everyone else around here," Lori sneered; she couldn't help herself.

A bad feeling started to pool in Amanda's stomach. "What do you mean?"

Lori cleared her throat. "We haven't seen Kyle since this morning. Mom had us all on lockdown after Jessi HELLander went missing. Then Saint Kyle sneaked out to rescue her or something."

Amanda felt cold and she didn't like Lori's tone. "He was out with Jessi somewhere when he called me."

"Oh really," Lori drew it out, her interest piqued. "So what did he want?"

"He said he and Jessi were trying to figure something out and needed my help with some music," Amanda explained, feeling terribly uneasy.

Lori snorted, "That's a new one!"

"Lori, it's not funny!" Amanda whined down the phone.

"I'm not laughing," Lori retorted. "I don't know what Kyle's up to. No one does, except Declan, but there's no point in calling _him_ because he won't tell you anything. He and Kyle are so tight you couldn't slide a sheet of paper between them."

Amanda's stomach churned. "Lori, what are you talking about?"

"I'm sick of them both and their stupid secrets!" Lori shot back, her bitterness and anger beginning to surface, pushing all other considerations completely aside, including Amanda's feelings.

"What?" Amanda was genuinely shocked at Lori's attitude and felt tears start to form at the back of her eyes. "You're not saying…you don't think Kyle is…" She almost couldn't say it. "…Cheating on me, do you?" Ghosts that looked like Charlie materialized before her mind's eye.

"I'm not a good judge of male integrity right now," Lori continued to rant. "But according to Declan, it's pretty hard to resist Jessi if she wants something. Kyle would never see it coming until it hit him between the eyes. And even then he would probably say he was 'just helping her'!"

That was enough for Amanda. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she blurted, "Please tell me Kyle is really at home and this is just a stupid joke!"

Lori suddenly snapped out of it at the sound of Amanda's total distress. She took a deep breath. "Amanda, I'm really sorry. I wish I could. It's not been a good time for me lately where men are concerned. As for Kyle, I honestly don't know what he is up to. But in the end he's a guy. And we both know he's been keeping secrets…they all do. Listen, when he gets home I'll get him to–"

Amanda disconnected in more ways than one and threw her phone across the room, her heart and mind engaged in a terrible battle.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Trust_)


	13. Trust

Declan acts on his instincts.  
(11Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Disconnection_)

* * *

Chapter 13:  
**Trust**

Declan fought to concentrate on the road ahead as the car bumped and swerved on the overgrown Route 12. He glanced over his shoulder to check that Kyle was still securely wrapped and hadn't fallen off the back seat; he seemed to be fine. After a few minutes, Declan reached a junction and turned onto the main highway heading for home. He tried to flex his shoulder muscles. Every part of him was aching for a hot shower, something to eat and a warm bed to sleep in. He let out a long sigh; it felt good to be behind the wheel of his car again, and it felt especially good to be heading away from the forest and all that had transpired there.

The sounds of the rain on the windshield and the steady beating of the wipers were hypnotic. Thoughts of everything that had happened slowly filtered into Declan's mind causing an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. All the weird events of the past year had culminated in today's near tragedy: it had nearly been the end of Kyle. It was too real. Declan had managed to push it all down in order to survive the ordeal, but now visions of needles, cold lips, Foss' eyes, and darkness all did nothing to dispel the bad feeling. All the fear and desperation surfaced in one gut-wrenching cramp and Declan had to stop the car at the roadside. He leapt out and vomited a few paces away. His knees were shaking as he expelled the last of the distress from his body and finally stood upright. He looked up and let the rain splash onto his face and into his mouth. He spat out the taste of vomit and searched his pockets for something to wipe his face with. An old napkin did the job. His stomach felt a lot better.

He was just about to turn back towards the car when a different feeling caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. It felt like static electricity crackled all around him. His head snapped round to the car, but nothing had changed: the engine was still idling and the door was still open. It was a strange feeling, almost as if someone was watching him. He peered into the dark trees some distance away but could see nothing. Back at the car he squinted through the rain-spattered window at Kyle, who was still wrapped in blankets on the back seat, then clambered back in the driver's seat and locked all the doors. The feeling wouldn't leave him alone and set his adrenaline pumping. He threw the car into gear and was just about to accelerate when Kyle stirred.

"Jessi!" It was the first intelligible word Kyle had said for hours.

Declan spun round, hoping to find his friend awake, but he was still soundly out of it on the back seat. Declan continued to watch him for a long moment, just in case, but Kyle was quiet once again, though looking better somehow. Declan drove off at speed.

The feeling of being watched wore off the further down the road they traveled, and Declan started to feel his mind coming back to him. Jessi was in his thoughts after hearing Kyle say her name. Something hammered against his brain. If Foss knew that the drug in the tranquillizer dart had been specifically tailored to Kyle's physiology, then why had he prepped the gun for use against Jessi? Foss also knew that the quantity of the drug was deadly, even for Kyle, without the neutralizer, which was also specially tailored to Kyle's physiology. That would mean…"Foss intended to take Jessi out," he finished his thought out loud. He shuddered.

Declan's paranoia began to build once more. What if Foss had killed Jessi, and that was why Kyle was running away from him? What did Foss know about her that the rest of them didn't? Or were they working together? How was Madacorp connected with ZZYZX? Why did Foss think Kyle would run away from him again to the point of putting him into a forced coma to prevent it? Why did Foss hold back on so many important things when they were supposedly on the same side? The questions kept coming. And where was Foss now? What did he have to do in the woods that was more important than getting Kyle to safety, especially after carrying him all that way? Things just didn't add up. Declan felt like a puppet on Foss' string, and he didn't like it. One thing he knew with certainty was that next time they met, Declan was going to find out once and for all exactly who Tom Foss really was and whether or not he could be trusted. Kyle's life, and possibly everyone else's, depended on it.

Deciding to take matters into his own hands empowered Declan and he felt himself relax slightly. Kyle was in _his_ hands now. Declan had seen the sense in Foss' insistence that he take Kyle somewhere Madacorp didn't know about, but he also knew that the Tragers would be worried sick. He fought with himself and decided he needed to follow his conscience. He needed to tell Kyle's parents that their son was safe, at least for the time being. Foss wouldn't approve, which meant it was undoubtedly the _right_ thing to do. He searched out his cell and dialed the number.

It was obvious Kyle's family was waiting for news, because Stephen Trager picked up half way through the first ring.

"Mr. Trager?" Declan's voice sounded less confident than he'd hoped.

"Declan," Stephen confirmed, at which point Lori piped up in the background. Declan couldn't hear exactly what she said, but he knew it was something caustic about wasting his time before Stephen snapped at her after which there was silence. Nicole was there too.

Declan launched straight in with, "Mr. Trager, I've been with Tom Foss. We came to find Ky–"

"Did you find him?" Stephen cut in.

Declan took a breath. "Yeah, he's with me right now, but the thing is–"

"Did you say Kyle's with you?" Stephen cut in again.

"Yes, we're about thirty minutes outside of town," Declan said. Nicole thanked God somewhere in the background. He heard her ask about Jessi. Declan could feel his frustration building. "No, not Jessi. The thing is–"

"Let me speak to Kyle," Stephen ordered.

"I'm afraid you can't," Declan squeezed out, feeling like he was fast losing control of this situation. Stupidly, he hadn't anticipated having to go into it all. He'd imagined a quick 'Kyle's safe, we'll see you soon' scenario.

Stephen's voice grew icier as he said, "Declan, put Kyle on the phone."

"Mr. Trager, I really can't–" Declan wanted to hang up.

"Now!" Stephen's tone was arctic.

Declan took a breath and bit the bullet. "He's unconscious."

"Unconscious?" Stephen's voice had lost its ice, and then Nicole became animated in the background. "How long for?"

Declan wished he hadn't had to say it, his intention had been to stop them worrying, but he saw no point in lying to them. That's what had caused this whole mess. "Two or three hours, I guess," he stated flatly. It was the truth.

"Two or three _hours_?" Stephen repeated, incredulous. "For crying out loud, Declan, you get him to the hospital right now! We'll meet you there."

Declan winced as he said, "Please, Mr. Trager, you have to trust me on this. I can't do that. It's too complicated to explain right now, but it's not safe to take him to hospital. The drugs Foss gave him would arouse too much suspicion." He kicked himself at the way that came out.

"Tom Foss drugged Kyle? Why?" Stephen sounded totally confused and horrified. Nicole had gone quiet. "Where is Foss now?" frost was settling in his voice again.

"He's back in the woods where we found Kyle," again it was the truth. Before Stephen could say anything else, Declan panicked. "It's a long story, but Foss said Kyle will wake up soon, and that I am to take him somewhere Madacorp doesn't know about."

"No, Declan," Stephen's voice became deadly serious. "You will bring Kyle here. You let me worry about Madacorp."

"But Foss said," Declan started to argue, his voice cracking slightly.

"I don't care what Tom Foss said," Stephen stated. "Kyle is our son and we will take care of him. You bring him home now."

Declan felt strangely relieved. "I understand, Mr. Trager."

"Good," Stephen said. "And how are _you_ doing?"

Declan hadn't expected that. He didn't know what to say.

"Declan?" Stephen asked again.

There was a lump forming unexpectedly in Declan's throat. He tried desperately to push it down. Why did his own father never ask him that? In fact, his dad probably hadn't even noticed he wasn't home. His mom had left years ago with a rich airline guy who didn't have time for kids. They were living in Hong Kong the last time he spoke to her. He spoke to her awkwardly maybe once a year on his birthday. "I've been better," was all he could say. He seemed incapable of keeping secrets all of a sudden.

"Hang in there," Stephen said as though he sensed Declan's vulnerability. "I'm trusting you. And you need to trust me on this: if you're not back within the hour, I'm calling the cops. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," Declan said ever so quietly.

"Be careful," Stephen said and hung up.

Declan threw his cell phone onto the passenger seat and wiped a rogue tear from his face with the back of his hand. For the next fifteen minutes he tried to think of nothing but his driving. He was exhausted.

The sky glowed orange as they approached civilization, and Declan was relieved once the street lighting was there to chase away the dark shadows. He had just pulled onto the last major highway before town, when Kyle suddenly gasped and sat bolt upright, still firmly wrapped in the bedding; Foss had made a pretty good job of restraining him. Declan glanced over his shoulder, having jumped half out of his skin. Kyle's eyes were wild in the dim light and he was breathing heavily as if he'd just woken from a nightmare. He was shivering. Declan remembered what Foss had said about Kyle probably waking up confused and scared. At least that wasn't a lie.

He pulled the car over and turned to look back over his seat. He put his right hand out towards Kyle in a calming gesture. "It's ok, man. You're safe now. How are you feeling?" He was so happy to see his friend awake.

Kyle looked down at his blanket restraints then looked straight at Declan. "My body feels weird," he shivered, sounding like he'd been drinking for a week.

Declan couldn't help but smile with relief as he said, "You've been in some kind of coma, so I'm not really surprised!"

Kyle stared at him in silence, the all too familiar creases appearing on his forehead. It warmed Declan's heart to see. Eventually, Kyle spoke again, his expression serious.

"Adam Baylin's still alive," he said quietly, almost to himself.

Declan shook his head. "What?" He was sure he'd misheard, so dismissed it as Kyle's post-coma confusion.

Kyle looked at the rain on the windows. "Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you home," Declan stated.

Kyle snapped his head back to Declan. "No! It's too dangerous!"

"Kyle, they're expecting us soon. Like really soon. If we don't show up, your dad will call the cops," Declan swallowed. "And he meant it!"

Kyle's face contorted. "But Foss said…" He definitely sounded like he'd had a beer or twenty.

"Kyle, I'm too tired and scared to argue," Declan interrupted, completely missing the fact that somehow Kyle had known what Foss had said. "You didn't hear his voice. There is no way I'm going to disobey him on this one. Stephen is your father, Kyle, not Foss. Besides, it's where you should be."

Kyle started to wriggle inside the blankets. "You don't understand! I can't be near them. I can't be near anyone."

"What are you talking about?" Declan was genuinely confused.

Kyle's face contorted again. "Please, Declan, you have to let me go!"

Declan couldn't bear to look Kyle in the eye so he turned round and went to drive off as he said, "I'm sorry man, I have no choice. You'll have to argue it out with your dad. Just leave me out of it. I've had enough stress today to last–" He was cut off in mid-sentence just as the car rocked and a loud cracking noise ripped the air around them. Declan was pushed forward onto the steering wheel by an invisible force and hit his forehead. The engine cut out and everything stopped as suddenly as it had started.

When he finally lifted his head after a few seconds, Declan's eyes followed a huge crack that ran the whole width of the windshield. He touched his forehead and tried to check for blood in the rear-view, which also sported a small crack. Fear crept into his chest as he caught Kyle's face in the mirror. He turned, not quite sure what had just happened. Kyle was frozen with his eyes squeezed shut. Declan scanned the inside of the car; every window was cracked, but thankfully none had shattered.

"Holy crap, Kyle!" Declan uttered in shock. "Did _you_ just do that?"

Kyle's eyes snapped open and he nodded slowly. He was panting. Something was different about him, but Declan couldn't put his finger on it. However, he didn't think he'd ever seen a person look so frightened, not even himself. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Foss' actions were starting to make sense; no wonder he wanted Kyle sedated. Declan tried to hide his own fear, but knew it was probably useless, because Kyle always seemed to know what people were feeling. He tried to imagine how Kyle was feeling, but couldn't get past 'scared' and 'freak'.

"It's ok. Just calm down, man. Don't worry about it. What's another set of windows, huh?" was all Declan could think of to say as a memory of Kyle walking through his dad's patio doors flashed into his mind.

An awkward silence ensued.

"I really need to pee." It was Kyle.

The banality made Declan laugh out loud. The timing was perfect. He chuckled out the tension and suddenly Kyle was just Kyle again. Kyle wasn't laughing, however. He looked completely pathetic wrapped in his blanket straightjacket, his face so intense it probably could have cracked a mirror without the aid of special abilities. Once the amusement of how absurd his life had become abated, Declan considered Kyle's immediate problem. Foss had told Declan to use whatever means he could to stop Kyle from running away. Foss' approach was always so heavy-handed and extreme. Declan thought a moment and came up with a solution straight from the Lori Trager book of manipulation: emotional blackmail. It had worked on Declan often enough, and he was apparently 'an insensitive brute'. But this was _Kyle_.

Removing the keys from the ignition, Declan got out of the car and climbed into the back next to Kyle. He put his arm across his shoulders. "Do you _really_ need to pee?"

Kyle looked Declan in the eye. "I really need to pee."

"Ok," Declan said, "I'll let you out."

Kyle looked taken aback and pursed his lips briefly. "What makes you so sure I won't run away?"

Declan drew his secret weapon. "Because even after everything you've put me through, I choose to trust you."

Kyle jolted, his eyes widening. _I choose to trust you._ It's what he'd said to Jessi before she betrayed him. Declan saw something move behind his friend's eyes. Kyle looked so stricken that Declan, unaware of the painful memory he'd just triggered in his friend, felt instantly guilty that his emotional blackmail plan was working. He reached down behind Kyle's back and began tugging loose the tightly bound bedding. He helped him out of the car, noticing that he moved like a drunkard too.

As Declan led Kyle to the edge of the grassy bank in the rain, he said, "Make it quick. It's cold. And if we're not home in fifteen, the only way either of us will get warm again will be on a spit over the open fire. Not that _you_ would feel the heat much." He slapped himself inwardly for saying that, but remembered Kyle and the burning beach shack nonetheless.

Kyle worsened Declan's guilt with a kicked puppy look and wobbled a little way down the wet bank to relieve himself. Declan turned and leaned against the car, praying Kyle wouldn't try to escape. Luckily, Declan's prayers were answered, and within a short time Kyle was back. He wanted the back seat, so Declan helped him back into the car where he sat in the center of the seat and wrapped a blanket round himself. Soon they were driving towards the Tragers' neighborhood.

After a few minutes of silence, Kyle said quietly, "I know you tried to save me. In the forest."

"What?" Declan asked absently.

"I remember you…trying to get me to breathe," Kyle said. "I want to thank you."

That's not what Declan expected to hear at all. "You…remember?"

Kyle nodded and the car swerved as Declan's eyes stared Kyle down in the rear-view. "But you were…"

Kyle began, "I know, but–"

Declan looked away, embarrassed, and interrupted him, "Yeah, well anyway, don't thank me. I couldn't do it. I gave up."

"But you tried," Kyle persisted.

Declan swept his hand through his hair. "Sure. You'd do the same for me."

"Yes. I would," Kyle stated simply and turned to look out of the window.

In the awkward silence that followed, he understood Declan's feelings of helplessness and failure totally. Kyle felt that way about Jessi. About the pain he'd caused his family. About breaking his promises to Amanda. About every lie he'd had to uphold. Would his family ever trust him again once they knew the truth? How could he explain to them what he was when he wasn't sure himself? He imagined the look on Amanda's face when she saw him for what he truly was. That realization hurt so badly…but he couldn't live like this anymore.

Declan glanced at his friend in the rear-view. He looked so lost, so sad. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked gently.

Kyle's eyes glistened in the darkness and bored into Declan's. He frowned and bit the corner of his lower lip awkwardly as he slowly shook his head.

Declan didn't push it. He could tell Kyle had been through something terrible. "Ok, man, but you know I'm here for you. You can trust me. Whether Foss likes it or not."

Kyle's mouth almost curled into a smile and he returned to staring out the window. He pulled the cover round himself more tightly for security. In a very short while he was going to put an end to the secrecy that had held him to ransom, then he would have to leave. He was scared, but he was also ready.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Revelations Part 1_)


	14. Revelations Part 1

Josh provides something that is desperately needed.  
(14Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Trust_)

* * *

Chapter 14:  
**Revelations**** (Part 1)**

_Sometimes the strongest feelings are those that are the least expressed, and sometimes the feelings that are expressed most strongly are the least important. My abilities usually gave me the advantage when it came to predicting probable outcomes and discerning the right course of action. But predicting the outcome of facing the Tragers after all the secrets and lies that had been perpetuated because of me was not within the bounds of even my extraordinary capabilities. Something inside of me had changed. My sensitivity to everything around me had increased and I felt desperately scared and confused. In the car, I had played a hundred different scenarios in my mind simultaneously, but each one had a different outcome, most of them painful. As Declan and I walked into the house that I had called home, I knew only one outcome with any certainty: that I would tell my family the truth and then I would have to leave. It was the only way to keep them safe from…whatever I was._

Kyle leaned on Declan's arm for support as the two of them gingerly walked up the front steps of the Tragers' house. Every part of his body was shaking, and not entirely from the after-effects of the drugs. He could feel Declan's trepidation as keenly as his own. They stopped at the door.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Declan asked.

Kyle looked at him for a moment and Declan thought he saw hesitation before Kyle murmured, "No, but they have to know the truth."

"Ok, get ready to bite the bullet," Declan nodded and nudged Kyle in an attempt to cheer him up with humor. It didn't work. Kyle's eyebrows lifted slightly. Declan realized his mistake and said, "It's an expression."

"Of course," Kyle said humorlessly.

He turned to face the door and laid his hand flat against it. Closing his eyes, he reached out gently with his mind. They were all inside, waiting, worrying. He could feel their hearts beating, their minds racing with questions, their fear, and their anger. It all rushed into him like a cold wind and he shuddered.

"You ok?" Declan frowned.

Kyle opened his eyes and took his hand away from the door. "They're waiting for us; we'd better go in." He swallowed hard and turned the handle, inwardly praying that he could contain whatever uncontrollable force was inside him long enough to get this over with. He looked back at Declan like a child seeking reassurance.

"I'm right here, man," Declan said quietly.

Kyle opened the door gingerly and stepped into the house.

oooOooo

The Tragers were in the lounge. Stephen was pacing anxiously while Nicole was trying to reason with Lori, who had been livid since finding out that Declan was still sneaking around with Kyle after everything. Josh sat on a sofa listening to the volume rising. Suddenly everyone stopped talking. Josh followed their gaze and there in the archway stood Kyle with Declan.

Josh jumped to his feet and there was a long and tense moment before chaos ensued. Kyle felt their mix of emotions hit him so hard it almost took his breath away. Declan steadied him. Everyone took a couple of steps forward at once, bottlenecking between the sofas. Stephen and Nicole were talking animatedly while Lori elbowed her way through and was charging at Declan like an enraged rhino.

"How dare you come back here!" she shouted. "I told you I didn't want to hear any more of your crap!" She raised her hand and in the blink of an eye, Kyle blocked what would have been a harsh slap to Declan's face by grabbing Lori's wrist. He hardly knew he'd done it. Nicole let out a loud gasp and Josh stared wide-eyed.

Lori turned on Kyle. "And you're just as bad! I've had it up to here with both of you!" She growled as she went to slap Kyle with her other hand, but he grabbed that one equally as swiftly. She was obviously taken aback by his agility, but Kyle said nothing and released her. Her eyes were full of anger and despair as they darted between he and Declan; Kyle could hardly look at her. Instead, he glanced over at Nicole and Stephen who were both yelling for Lori to stop. It was Declan who got everyone's attention.

"Ease off, Lori!" he shouted, stepping away from Kyle. "I know you're pissed, but this isn't about you, it's about Kyle. And about protecting this family. I'm sorry I hurt you, but I did what I did because _he _asked for my help." He swallowed hard. "It was life or death. Literally. I was protecting Kyle. And _you_."

"Protecting us from what, Declan? Kyle's alien family?" Lori's tone was acid with sarcasm as she emphasized the words with finger quotation marks.

Declan unexpectedly felt tears rising. "This isn't a joke, Lori. He nearly died today, but what would you know? If you would shut up long enough, Kyle will explain everything. Maybe you'll believe him, maybe you won't. I'm past caring." He turned to Kyle and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm done here. When you're ready, I'll be waiting in the car. I've no doubt Foss will be calling soon anyway." He looked at Stephen and Nicole apologetically and left as they both started to speak simultaneously.

Kyle's eyes followed his friend, too upset by Lori's outburst to move or say anything in protest. Lori turned on her heel and walked back into the room between her parents, who both started niggling at her. She buried her face in her hands. Kyle winced as her pain cut through his brain like a laser, and the looks on his parents' faces devastated him. He almost lost his footing and had to put his hand against the wall to steady himself.

Josh Trager hadn't uttered a word. He'd kept a low profile since earlier that day when the family had been trying to put together all the pieces of the puzzle they knew as Kyle. Everyone suddenly seemed to be coming round to what Josh had always suspected: that there was far more to Kyle than any of them knew. And it had upset Josh greatly, because instead of finding him fascinating and wonderful, the family had begun to talk about Kyle as though he were something to be feared. 'Special', 'sweet', and 'amazing' had been replaced with 'weird', 'inhuman' and 'freaky'. Josh didn't like hearing the guy he had grown to love as a brother being talked about that way, and yet all the evidence was pointing to some kind of genuine enigma surrounding Kyle. Quite simply, it frightened Josh. He didn't want to find out that Kyle was something sinister. But much more than that, he didn't want anyone to take him away again.

And now here stood Kyle as if facing a firing squad, only the firing squad was his own family, pointing their fear and anger at him like weapons. Kyle's eyes were pleading for his life, begging for a chance to explain. The tension in the air was thick as Josh looked at each one of them in horror. Couldn't they see what they were doing to Kyle? Couldn't they see he was suffering? Josh remembered all the wisecracks about aliens, the relentless teasing he had subjected Kyle to, and shame burned in his belly.

He suddenly found himself moving forward and Kyle's gaze fell on him as he approached. The resignation in those eyes burned a hole right through Josh's conscience. Kyle actually believed he deserved this! That is wrong, Josh told himself, so wrong! He stopped in front of Kyle. He could think of no words to express what he was feeling; how he wanted Kyle to forgive him for every bad thing he'd ever thought or said about him; how Kyle had been a good friend to him, and now it was Josh's duty to be there for Kyle when he needed it most. It didn't matter what was in his past; all that mattered at this moment was that Kyle was alive…and he was home. For the first time ever, Josh threw his arms around his brother and squeezed him hard.

Everyone stopped talking, their eyes wide. The only sound in the room was Kyle's shallow gasp. He slowly moved his arms and returned Josh's embrace, squeezing his eyes shut and hanging onto him as though his life depended on it. Josh didn't need to say anything; Kyle could feel his intention and was grateful beyond measure for the strength it gave him. His legs stopped shaking enough to stand up straighter. Josh pulled away. Kyle gazed at him and offered a small smile of gratitude. Josh managed a short nod before making a hasty exit from the room and heading for the kitchen. His family, including Kyle, followed him with their eyes until he was gone.

Kyle then turned to the people he loved and said quietly, "I'm ready to tell you everything."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Revelations Part 2_)


	15. Revelations Part 2

Kyle fears the reaction of his family.  
(15Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Revelations Part 1_)

* * *

Chapter 15:  
**Revelations**** (Part 2)**

Everyone was quiet. Josh's actions had acted as a sobering slap in the face. Stephen and Nicole were shamed into silence and looked at each other. Lori was simply rooted to the spot, her eyes unreadable and boring into Kyle's soul like industrial drill bits. He felt her accusatory gaze keenly and wanted more than anything for her to stop. He hadn't meant to be the cause of her break-up with Declan.

Kyle didn't know how he had managed to get his words out, and now that he'd announced he was ready to tell them everything, he had to follow it through. But he didn't know how. He took a couple of shaky steps into the room, feeling seventy instead of seventeen. Lori's eyes followed him. He looked away from her and searched for the nearest place to sit before his trembling legs forced him down where he stood. Nicole noticed Lori's rigid stance and put an arm around her, patting her shoulder gently before guiding her to take a seat on the sofa. Nicole sat beside her then looked back over at Stephen.

Stephen, on the other hand, was concerned with Kyle. The boy looked like he would fall over if Stephen blew hard enough. He held his hand out and encouraged Kyle to take it, not wanting to move in case Kyle felt intimidated. The last thing he wanted was for him to run away, though he didn't look like he'd be able to get far on those legs. Stephen studied him and could see he was anxious, and it wasn't surprising after what had just happened. Not the perfect welcome home. Memories of Brian Taylor standing over Tom Foss strapped in the Cerebral Impulse Relay chair rose up. What was it about Kyle that had a multi-billion dollar corporation so agitated? How did they even know about him?

Kyle glanced at Stephen's hand and wanted so desperately to run to him, to feel some protective arms around him that would fight off anything that threatened him. He searched Stephen's face for some clue as to how he should behave at this point. The atmosphere was still heavy with tension. Stephen beckoned, sensing Kyle's hesitance.

"Kyle?" he sounded like the old Stephen he knew. "Come and sit down."

Kyle seemed to snap into action. He took two steps and grabbed Stephen's hand, but as Stephen tried to guide him to a chair by the fire, Kyle gave in to his own needs and pressed himself against his adopted father's chest, hanging onto him with his other arm. Stephen let go of Kyle's hand and folded his arms around the boy's back.

"What were you thinking going off like that?" Stephen chided gently into Kyle's hair. It was a rhetorical question, and he really didn't expect Kyle to answer; but Kyle rarely did anything people expected.

It was an honest – if muffled – reply. "Everyone was getting hurt because of _me_. I was thinking I would make everything right again."

"And did you?" Stephen asked even more gently.

"No," was Kyle's succinct answer.

Stephen looked at Nicole as he remembered the terrible undercurrents that had been swirling in the Trager household lately and felt terrible remorse. The family too often forgot how sensitive and ill equipped Kyle could be. He patted him on the back and said, "Come on, sit down," as he guided him to the seat by the fire. Kyle never took his eyes off Stephen.

Nicole was about to speak when Josh appeared with a glass of water. He scanned the room with reddened eyes. "So, we're behaving like human beings again, are we?" Then to Kyle he said, "You looked like you could use this." He placed the water on the coffee table and took a seat next to Stephen.

Kyle half smiled and took the water. He downed a couple of gulps and set it back on the table. It eased the dryness in his throat. He felt Lori's eyes on him again. This time he met them and did his best to apologies to her with his own. She looked down at her lap. Kyle then looked at Nicole. She hadn't spoken to him at all and it bothered him. Without thinking, he reached toward her with his mind and came up against her defenses: she was feeling guilty.

"Nicole, I–" Kyle started, but Nicole interrupted him.

"Kyle, I owe you a big apology. We all do," she said.

He felt something inside him squeeze his chest tightly. He shook his head. "No," he said. "It's me who should apologize. For everything. This whole mess is because of me."

Nicole shook her head and went silent. Kyle swallowed awkwardly.

"What I'm going to tell you will require you to have an open mind," he began. "I hardly believed it myself. But it is the truth as much as I know it."

He looked down at his hands in his lap, feeling eyes on him, studying him. He could sense their apprehension, their fear of the unknown, and their anticipation. His guilt rose up and caught in his throat. He swallowed it back down and scanned each face as he said, "But first I really need you to know that when I came here, I didn't know any of this. I wasn't lying to you then, and I'm not going to lie to you now."

As he looked at the four faces in front of him, Kyle's nerve began to falter. He had known it would be hard to do this, but none of his run-through scenarios in the car had prepared him for just _how_ hard. He didn't know where to start. So, he decided the most important part was the beginning; he would start with that.

He looked at Josh and said, "I'm not an alien."

The others all looked at Josh, who didn't react at all. In fact, he looked terrified.

Kyle inhaled deeply, fixed his gaze on a spot on the carpet. "Adam Baylin, and a group of visionaries calling themselves Latnok, were working on developing children with enhanced brains with a view to improving the world. After many failures, they were successful." Kyle paused and closed his eyes, afraid of saying what was coming next, afraid of what his family would think of him when they knew the truth. He opened his eyes, looked up at Nicole and bit the bullet Declan had referred to. "I was…I was…created by Adam Baylin from his own DNA," he managed to say before his voice cracked. Nicole held his gaze as he squeezed out the rest. "I spent the first sixteen years of my life inside a specially designed gestation tank at his secret underground research facility called ZZYZX."

The silence that followed was strangely deafening until it was broken by Josh's half-gasped, half-snorted, "What?"

Kyle's explanation was like something straight out of a super cool science fiction story.

The logo," Nicole realized.

Kyle nodded.

"That's why you look so much like this Adam Baylin," Stephen added.

Kyle nodded.

Lori suddenly piped up, her eyes wide, "That weird place in the woods!"

Kyle nodded again then tore his eyes away from her and continued. "About fourteen years ago Adam Baylin was going to extract me from the chamber, but his colleague, Professor Kern, betrayed him. He, and those he was working with, had other plans for me, but I don't know what they were. They tried to kill Baylin. He escaped and went into hiding, and I was left inside the chamber." He swallowed hard. "I don't remember being in there, and I don't know exactly what they were doing to me, but at some point I refused to cooperate, and managed to copy the entire ZZYZX database into my brain. Kern then ordered my termination as a 'failed experiment'."

Stephen was horrified. "Oh my God." He looked at Nicole.

Kyle stumbled on. "Tom Foss was assigned to my security at ZZYZX. It was Foss who saved me and brought me out into the woods. Kern intercepted us and tried to shoot me. They fought and Foss ended up shooting Kern with his own gun…to protect me."

"Your first memories," Nicole almost whispered. "They really were your first memories."

Once again, Kyle nodded, sadly. "By the time Foss got back from…dealing with that situation… I had woken up and wandered off into the city. Then the police took me to that place where you saw me. You brought me here the same day."

Nicole shook her head in amazement, her eyes shining with wonder at the psychological implications of what Kyle was telling them. She remembered, as they all did, how Kyle had been like a newborn. Now they knew that he really had been. She remembered his fear, his confusion, but also his wonder at everything. It all made sense to her; this amazing boy had woken up for the first time in his life fully grown and without having had any contact with the outside world. Kyle hadn't had amnesia; he simply had no memories. Then she recalled, with a slight chill, how phenomenally fast Kyle had learned everything. She always knew instinctively that those first MRI scans had been correct.

As she gazed at Kyle now, she could still see the little child in him: frightened, confused, and unsure. But she also saw an incredible human being, one who had packed seventeen years of psychological development into just one. She had witnessed the birth of a miracle, not a monster. She smiled at the young man she had bonded with the minute she saw him. She knew without a single doubt that Kyle had so far told them the truth.

Kyle saw Nicole smile and felt his heart lurch in his chest. She wasn't averting her eyes or running him out of town with a pitchfork; she was smiling at him in the way she always did when he pleased her. That gave him the strength to begin relating the sequence of events that led to this very moment. He began to access his holographic memory to help with the details, and for the ensuing hour, he told how Foss had warned him of the need for secrecy and the danger to his family. About the Petersons, about Adam Baylin's 'death', the firebombing of ZZYZX, Madacorp, Ballantine and Baylin's ring. How he'd struck a bargain with Foss that the price for coming back to the Tragers' was that he attended the secret training sessions. He also explained how he had ended up telling Declan everything. Lori had put her hand over her mouth at that part. Kyle's guilt pinched. He told them everything until Stephen brought up the one subject he had avoided.

"Are there others like you?"

Kyle's stomach flipped over. He hesitated before looking Stephen in the eye then glancing at Nicole. He could tell from her expression that she already knew the answer. He nodded slowly.

"Jessi," he stated quietly.

Lori and Josh's eyes nearly popped out of their heads. "Jessi?…_Hollander_?" they both said in unison.

Kyle nodded, feeling very uncomfortable. He took another sip of the water. He told them that he'd only found out about Jessi very recently – and all he knew about her was that she had been living as Emily's sister, and that Emily had called him when Jessi went missing because Madacorp was threatening to hurt her family if Jessi wasn't brought back. He also explained how Jessi told him that Madacorp wanted her to retrieve what he was hiding in his brain.

No! He didn't want to think about Jessi.

He felt Lori's next question before she asked it. "So where is she? Amanda told me you were with Jessi just this afternoon."

"Amanda?" Kyle's heart was in his throat, beating its way up behind his eyes. Tears began to form, unwanted and bitter. He couldn't speak. Nicole grew cold at the sight of Kyle paling before her eyes. Something about him was different, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

"Kyle?" she asked. "What is it?"

He felt his chest tighten up. A familiar and frightening feeling began to brew somewhere inside him. Pain shot through his head as his defenses came down and he doubled over clutching his temples. He squeezed his eyes shut and there was a cry on the tip of his tongue as the glass on the coffee table began to shake.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Revelations Part 3)_


	16. Revelations Part 3

The Tragers have an extraordinary experience.  
(17Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Revelations Part 2_)

* * *

Chapter 16:  
**Revelations ****(Part 3)**

Kyle felt himself losing control of the force inside him. The static electricity in the room was rising and he knew the Tragers could feel it too. He needed to get away from them, but he couldn't move his legs properly. Every part of him tingled and burned, but the sensation in his head was the worst; it pounded him like stormy waves against a sea wall. He could breathe only in shallow gasps. He realized that his own sense of guilt and failure was amplifying the problem, but he didn't know how to shut it off.

Every time he thought about Jessi, the pain of her betrayal overwhelmed him. He knew he had to tell his family what had happened since he left home earlier that day, but how could he tell them when remembering it caused him to lose control? How could he tell them that even though he had amazing abilities, he hadn't been able to stop her from jumping into Victor Falls? Would they hold him responsible? Kyle writhed inside himself, twisting and rolling trying to escape the pain. He felt like he was going to explode. Suddenly he felt something grip his shoulders and push him upwards.

"Kyle!" It was Stephen.

Kyle's eyes opened to find Stephen crouched in front of him, shaking him by the shoulders.

"Breathe!" Stephen ordered.

Kyle gasped in another short breath and lurched to his feet, almost knocking Stephen backwards off balance. Kyle was terrified that his family was going to take the full brunt of whatever was building inside him; it felt like a huge rubber band stretching and at any moment it was going to snap. Every ornament, wall hanging, and item that wasn't fixed down began to vibrate. Nicole and Lori hung onto each other, their eyes wide as they scanned the room that shook around them. Josh curled his legs up onto the sofa, eyes on Kyle and filled with a sickly combination of fear and fascination.

Stephen was standing in front of Kyle, his face a perfect reflection of Kyle's own panic. Kyle's eyes fixed on Stephen's; he wanted more than anything for Stephen to make it go away. The child in him pleaded and whined for the pain inside to stop. That's when Stephen realized.

"My God," he uttered. His mouth dropped open and he backed away from Kyle, moving to shield Josh.

The look on Stephen's face was more than Kyle could bear; would his family always look at him that way now they knew the truth?

Then Kyle saw the force in his mind's eye coming up like a fireball in a well. He silently called out to Amanda's God for help, but it was too late. He had to let the energy out before his heart burst in his chest. His eyes fell to the vibrating glass on the coffee table and in the last possible moment, he threw all his concentration into it as a coping mechanism to avoid seeing his family hurt by his own inability to control himself.

The glass of water shot off the coffee table with a whistling rush of energy. Lori and Nicole squealed and buried their heads against each other. Stephen fell backwards in shock, narrowly missing Josh on the sofa. The glass flew through the room, across the hall and hit the far wall in the dining room with a loud splatter of tiny beads of glass and water. The force of it dislodged several of the family photographs from the wall in the hall, and they crashed to the floor at the foot of the stairs. Then all the vibration stopped suddenly; the last sound they heard was Kyle's quiet whimper as his legs gave way and he stumbled backwards onto his chair, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to catch his breath.

When Kyle finally lowered his hands and gingerly opened his eyes, the Tragers were all staring at him, shock evident on their faces. He needed to tell them about Jessi before he lost control again. His head was spinning as he blurted desperately, before anyone else could speak, "After I found Jessi in the woods, we found a cabin…and…Adam Baylin in a coma. He's still alive. When I got Jessi to help me communicate with him, she…" his voice petered out.

"She what, Kyle?" Nicole asked flatly; Kyle thought she sounded angry.

"She…got inside my head…and…" he managed before Stephen interrupted.

"_Jessi_ did this to you?" he asked, confused.

Kyle looked at Stephen and shrugged his shoulders. "All I know is she betrayed my trust and tried to run away. I caught up with her at Victor Falls. She told me she'd gotten what they wanted her to and that I shouldn't have trusted her… then she…" he swallowed with difficulty and stopped. His head dropped and a wave of nausea washed over him as he remembered the moment.

"She what, Kyle?" Nicole asked again, her tone deadly serious.

Kyle realized Nicole knew something she hadn't imparted to him. He couldn't look up due to trying to push down the discomfort brewing deep inside. He shut his eyes in an attempt to stop the room spinning.

"Kyle?" Nicole persisted. "What did Jessi do?" Nicole felt tense with anticipation; frightened that Jessi had done something awful to Kyle.

He snatched a breath and blurted, "She jumped!"

They all gasped, including Josh.

"Into the falls?" Nicole asked, horrified. It certainly wasn't what she had expected to hear.

Kyle nodded and swallowed down the bile that was threatening to make him vomit while a pain wormed its way round his brain.

"You mean she's…_dead_?" asked Lori, who until now had remained relatively quiet.

Kyle looked up at the sound of his sister's voice and with tears in his eyes he shrugged and said with difficulty, "I don't know. I think whatever just happened here also happened there – only worse – and I passed out. Foss found me. I tried to run away in case I hurt him and…he shot me with the drug that ZZYZX used to keep me from waking up in the tank."

"Oh my God," Lori murmured.

Kyle suddenly felt completely overwhelmed. "I can't talk about this anymore," he whispered, totally spent. He wanted it all to go away. He wanted to wake up from this terrible nightmare. More than anything, he desperately didn't want to say what he had to say next. His legs were still shaking as he stood up. He steadied himself by placing a hand on the mantelpiece. "I have to leave," he stated sadly and took a step forward.

Stephen stood and blocked his path. He grabbed Kyle's arm. "Oh no! You're not going anywhere."

Kyle's eyes widened, fear creeping into his belly. "But–"

"Kyle!" Stephen's tone precluded any argument. "You're going to freshen up then you're going to get to bed. We'll talk about what we're going to do about everything in the morning."

Kyle winced. "I can't stay here, it's too dangerous!" His head ached horribly.

"If you want to throw some more objects around the house, go ahead, but you're not going anywhere. Until the law says otherwise, I am still your father, and I'm telling you that you are staying right here until we figure out exactly what's going on." That was his final word and he stared Kyle down. Kyle relented, not wanting to hurt Stephen any more than he already had. His heart pounded painfully.

"Ok. Josh and Lori, you are going to clean up the mess in the dining room," Stephen ordered.

Josh, who had been silent for some time, nodded and shot a look over to Kyle, which he couldn't read. In fact, Kyle's head was spinning so badly he thought he was going to fall over. Nicole noticed and stood up. Kyle felt confused; none of his processes were working correctly. He tried to focus on Nicole's face, but failed and blinked heavily a few times. He knew there was something else he needed to say, but couldn't think what it was.

"Ok then," Stephen said, releasing Kyle's arm and patting it. "That's settled."

Nicole knew that Stephen's sudden authoritative tone was his way of dealing with his fear. She had seen it many times before when situations cropped up that Stephen found difficult to cope with. He would reach overload then need time out to process everything; and in order to give himself that time, he would take charge of a situation. Nicole had to admire him for sounding so together. She knew that all of them were reeling with everything they'd learned today about Kyle…and Jessi. Nicole shuddered. She knew that Kyle was being tortured by his guilt at not saving whom he believed to be the only person like himself, but she wondered how he would feel when he realized that Jessi was not what he imagined her to be.

"Come on, Kyle," Nicole said softly, taking his arm and gently guiding him away from the mantelpiece. "Let's get you freshened up." Kyle didn't argue. His head hurt too much.

Stephen watched his wife lead their dejected adopted son from the room then said, "I'll get Declan."

"No, Dad," Lori countered. "_I'll_ get Declan."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Undone_)


	17. Undone

Amends must be made.  
(19Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Revelations Part 3_)

* * *

Chapter 17:  
**Undone**

Lori grabbed her old, slouchy sweater and wrapped it tightly round herself as she left the house. As she wandered down the driveway her mind was swirling with all the things Kyle had told them: strange facts, secret pursuits, and the complications of a double life. How had he managed to keep all of that hidden for so long? They had forgiven Kyle's strange behavior because he was…well he was _Kyle_. They had all known, of course, that he had issues, and the nature of his circumstances had always prevented any of them from pushing him too hard to spill his guts…but all of _this_? If it had been anyone but Kyle relating this crazy story, Lori would have slapped a huge slab of fruitcake on his plate with a double helping of cream! Kyle was not a natural liar; in fact, Lori knew he found it almost impossible to lie outright, so this past year must have been absolute torture for him. But the more Lori thought back over events, the more she realized that he'd been avoiding things and people and straight answers for a long time – and it partially explained that worried expression he almost always wore.

She paused halfway down the driveway and realized the rain had stopped. She gazed up at the sky; the dark clouds were still swirling. That's how she felt. If _she_ were swirling, she couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like to be Kyle. Guilt shot up from the undergrowth in her mind and bit her. She had been so horrible to him, and not just today. There had been quite a number of occasions when she'd been less than tolerant of his problems –and those were just the ones she knew about! And she had grown very resentful of him at other times; particularly how her mom and dad protected him so vehemently, and how Declan spent so much time with him. Lori brought her gaze back down to earth and wondered how she was ever going to be able to look Kyle in the eye again and not feel this guilt. She also couldn't quite shake off the residue of anger she felt towards him. She didn't understand that fully, but it was there bubbling away under the surface. Him being there had caused terrible disruption to her family and her relationship.

She took another couple of steps. Then there was the whole earthquake thing. She still didn't understand what had just happened. Did _Kyle_ make the whole room shake? The look on her dad's face at the time told her he believed so, but how could a person cause such a thing? Surely, things like that didn't happen in _real _life? Josh would no doubt have some theory – he always had theories about Kyle – but this had really happened. In their house. They had all witnessed it. Could it be possible that Kyle was their very own real-life Peter Petrelli? Then a darker thought entered the picture…maybe he was a real-life Sylar. She shuddered, and thought of Jessi.

Before she could go down that road, she had reached Declan's car in the street out front. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the cracks in the windows. Something told her that Kyle had had a headache at some point during the day. The windows were partially steamed up preventing her from seeing inside, so she tried the nearest handle. It was locked. She knocked gently, suddenly feeling very self-conscious and nervous.

"Declan?" she called quietly, and knocked again.

After a moment a hand wiped the condensation from the inside of the back seat window then the door opened. The courtesy light popped on and illuminated Declan's sleepy face. He blinked a couple of times and finally focused on the girl standing in front of him. His eyes widened and he swept his hand back through his hair nervously.

"It's okay, Declan," Lori said. "Match over."

Declan stared at her for a moment, but said nothing. Lori stared down at her feet and kicked an invisible stone under the car. She didn't know how to begin to apologize to Declan for her vile behavior. She knew she had been entitled to be angry, but ignorance was truly no defense. She had taken it way too far at times; half the guilt inside her was for Declan. Like Kyle, Declan had obviously kept a lot wrapped up inside, too scared to let it out, and she hadn't made life any easier for him.

"Can I get in for a minute?" Lori asked, not sure why. Declan looked a little wary, but scooted over to make room. She got in and settled onto the blankets Declan had been using. They were warm and comfortable, just as she remembered. "Thanks," Lori muttered, feeling awkward. There was a pause.

"Is Kyle ready to leave yet?" Declan asked, sounding more awake.

"Oh, Kyle's not leaving," Lori stated. Declan raised his eyebrows. "Parental law forbids it," Lori explained. Declan still looked puzzled. "My dad?" Lori said, nudging Declan. "The big guy who wanted your head on a plate this time last year?" She rolled her eyes. "He went all paternal after Kyle nearly blew the roof off the house…or _something_." It was obvious to Lori that Declan knew exactly what she meant.

"What?" he cried, peering past Lori at the house; the roof still seemed to be intact. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine now that he's given everyone their orders," Lori retorted.

Declan shook his head irritably. "I meant Kyle!"

That irritated Lori for some reason. "Oh. Well, honestly? He doesn't look too good, but Mom's with him, so I'm sure he'll live."

"That's not funny," Declan snapped, Lori's words unwittingly stabbing at his own feelings of inadequacy and guilt. "He nearly didn't earlier on today."

Lori recoiled at the tone of his voice and saw something in Declan's eyes that filled her with remorse. "I'm sorry," her voice had lost its forced witty edge. "I didn't mean what I said. I wasn't thinking. You know what I'm like when I'm upset. I get all stupid and judgmental." There was a long pause before she said, "I've been doing that a lot lately…and I'm really sorry." Her eyes filled with tears.

Declan broke away from her gaze and continued to look at the house as though checking it for damage. "I'm sorry too," he said, trying not to react. "I guess because I've known about Kyle for so long now, I forgot what a shock it must be for you."

Lori wiped her eyes and held her chin up as bravely as she could. "Yeah, it is." She swallowed down a sob. "But that's not the worst thing for me."

Declan knew exactly what Lori wanted to hear, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. She wanted him to tell her that everything was Kyle's fault. That somehow he had forced Declan to end their relationship to keep Lori away from danger. But after all the lies and secrets that had dictated how he behaved around Lori until now, Declan couldn't tell another one.

"It was _my_ decision to break up with you. It was the only way I could cope with everything," he said quietly. Lori's face crumpled. Declan rolled his eyes and put his arms around her without thinking. "I'm sorry, Lori. But Kyle was in real danger. People after him with guns, for Christ's sake! And then he suddenly went off with the mysterious Petersons and..." It was all beginning to tumble out of Declan in a rush. "Remember that box of stuff he left for me? It was a secret message letting me know they weren't his real parents, but I didn't know where they were taking him or why. And the scary part was, neither did Kyle. He went off with those people to protect all of us. I couldn't help him because I couldn't say a word about any of it." He choked back a sob of his own. "Especially to you." Remembering it made him anxious.

Lori pulled away and looked at him with a frown. "You really care about him, don't you?"

Once again, Declan was in tune. He knew what Lori was asking, and he decided not to avoid it. He nodded and said, "Lori…he needed me. People wanted him dead. I didn't want _you_ dead most of all. After the way you looked at me this afternoon, and then seeing Kyle almost die a few hours ago, I thought I'd lost everything. You can't know what that feels like. I really thought it had all been for nothing."

"So what was all that with Jessi?" That one came out of nowhere for Declan. "Was that a way of protecting me too? Keeping the enemy close?"

Declan felt ashamed. He'd already tried to explain that to Lori once before. He swiped a hand through his hair, taking a moment to think how to explain it then said quietly, "I was lonely. And scared. And she didn't know anything about any of it. There was comfort in that for me…or so I thought at the time. I didn't know about her true identity at that point."

"I guess her jumping into Victor Falls has put an end to that little worry then," Lori stated with a definite tone of bitterness.

Declan's eyes grew wide. "What do you mean?"

Lori felt something rattle around in the pit of her stomach. He didn't know! "Kyle didn't tell you what happened to her?" she asked tentatively, genuinely concerned.

Declan looked stunned. "No. He only woke up about half an hour before we got here. He was too out of it or something to talk much."

"I guess he was too upset," Lori remarked. "It was when my dad asked about Jessi that he started wigging out on us."

"Oh my God, I had a feeling something terrible had happened to Kyle," Declan murmured to himself, withdrew his arms from around Lori and leaned back on the seat. "But Jessi? I thought she'd just run off again."

Lori then told him what Kyle had related earlier about the events leading up to Jessi's dramatic leap. It made sense to Declan, explained some of Kyle's distress and why he and Jessi weren't together when Foss found him. Suddenly Lori's eyes squeezed shut and she slapped her hands to her forehead.

"Oh crap!" she cried. Declan had no time to respond before she blurted, "I've done something terrible!" She started to open the car door.

Declan put a hand on her other arm to stop her. "What?"

"Listen, I came out here to get you. Dad said you can sleep on the couch and we'll all talk in the morning," she rattled off, almost tripping over her own words.

"What's wrong?" Declan asked, completely lost at Lori's sudden urgency.

They were interrupted by Declan's cell phone. Declan reached onto the front seat and grabbed it. "Lori, it's Tom Foss. I need to take this, but please wait. We'll go in together," he pleaded with his eyes.

She exhaled and slumped back, nodding. Declan answered the phone.

"Is Kyle awake?" was the first thing Foss said, followed almost immediately by, "Is he okay?"

Declan told him the sequence of events since they had parted company and Foss went crazy. Lori could hear the man shouting from where she sat. Declan tried to explain, but gave up in anger.

"I told you it's too dangerous," Foss repeated. "Madacorp will be all over that house."

Declan had had more than enough of Foss' intensity for one day. "Listen, Foss," he said, trying to keep his cool, "I'm not going to argue about it. You want Kyle, you come and get him."

Foss was livid. "Let's just pray I'm the first one who does." He hung up.

Declan dropped the phone into his lap. "Great," he snapped.

Lori nudged him and said, "Come on. Let's get inside. I need to call Amanda."

"Amanda?" Now Declan truly was confused. "Lori, it's late! Can't it wait till morning?"

Lori shook her head hysterically. "She called me earlier wanting to know if Kyle was back. She knew he was with Jessi, and I…" Her words trailed off before she finished with, "I need to speak to her before Kyle does."

Declan grew angry, knowing what Lori was like when she was upset. "You didn't!"

Lori's eyes filled with tears. "Let's just say I wasn't feeling the whole male integrity thing at that point."

Declan's last mental image before leaving the car was of a whole street of roofless houses. _Just let Madacorp try it, Foss_, he thought to himself.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Regression)_


	18. Regression

Nicole has a sense of déjà vu.  
(22Dec07)

(Previous chapter: _Undone_)

* * *

Chapter 18:  
**Regression**

As Nicole led Kyle by the arm from the lounge to get him freshened up she noticed how much he was trembling. She guided him up the stairs and he paused on each one like a small child. It triggered something in her memory but she wasn't sure what. When she glanced up from watching his feet to look at his face, she saw that he had his eyes closed. He was going up the stairs blind, face pinched with pain.

"Headache?" Nicole asked.

Kyle nodded, but didn't speak; neither did he open his eyes. His face was incredibly pale underneath the grubbiness; his clothes also bore the evidence of having been somewhere wet and muddy. It was clear that he was suffering physically as well as mentally after…whatever that was they had witnessed with the glass of water. Eventually they reached the top of the stairs where Kyle opened his eyes and looked around the hallway. Nicole noticed that he seemed to be having trouble focusing. She guided him into the bathroom, dropped the lid of the toilet and made him sit while she sat on the edge of the bathtub. She eyed Kyle anxiously as she leaned over and turned on the taps to draw him a bath. He was staring at the floor, lost inside his own head.

"Kyle?" she called softly.

Nicole's concern grew when he didn't respond. She reached over and laid her hand on his cheek, pulling his face ever so gently towards her.

"Kyle, look at me," she said more firmly.

He did as he was told, bringing his eyes up to hers. He gazed deeply, searching for the sanctuary he usually found with Nicole. She watched his face closely, looking for clues as to what was going through that incredible mind. What came out when his pale lips parted surprised her.

"What am I?" his voice trembled.

Déjà vu. They were back to square one. A year ago he had asked her the very same question. She had struggled to answer him then, and now she was even further from a clear definition. This amazing boy, who could do things previously only found in fiction, was struggling to comprehend himself, just as he had when he'd first arrived. Despite a lot of trauma that had been invented in an attempt to keep him safe, it was obvious to Nicole there had been a lot that had _not_ been invented. She could see it in his eyes. She knew without doubt that Kyle just wanted some security in his life – and honesty.

An ordinary person could only withstand so much before reaching breaking point. What about an _extraordinary_ one? She now knew that Kyle had witnessed murder, and experienced more terror and pain in one year than most people would ever know in their entire lifetimes. How much had he endured that she and Stephen were _not_ aware of? How much could someone like Kyle take before it broke him? And what would happen if he did break? Had they witnessed the beginnings of a nervous breakdown Kyle style? It worried Nicole terribly. Kyle's eyes were still searching her face. She had to give him an answer, and it had to be an honest one; she knew that somehow he would know if it wasn't.

"Kyle, none of us knows who or what we are until we grow and develop and strive to reach our potential," she said as she dipped her hand into the bath to test the water. "You are no different to anyone else in that way. You just have further to go than most people." She added some bubble bath.

Kyle hung onto her words, pleading with his eyes for her to explain everything to him, but she simply didn't have all the answers. She shook her head almost imperceptibly and picked a strand of forest debris from his hair as her eyes scanned every inch of his face. He was hurting, and that hurt her, no matter what he was. His eyes fell away from her face and fixed on a spot on the floor once again. Nicole stopped the running water.

"Come on, you get those dirty clothes off and I'll go fetch you some clean ones," she said getting up and heading for the door.

Kyle nodded slowly and moved to remove his gray jacket. He winced as he tried to wriggle out of it, and almost fell over. He put his hands to his head as though that would stop the room from spinning. Nicole turned to see him slumped dejectedly. She could tell he was too exhausted to move. All fear of who he was and what he could do disappeared as Kyle once more became a child to her. Seeing him that way provided her with both the motivation and permission to provide him with what she felt he needed most right now: a mother.

"Do you want me to help you?" she asked tentatively.

Kyle nodded weakly, his strength draining away as the world spun relentlessly in his head. Nicole helped him out of the jacket and as she lifted it the small bloodstains on the back of it stood out; she hadn't taken notice before, believing them to be mud. She dumped the jacket unceremoniously on the floor and leaned over to inspect Kyle's back. She encouraged him to lean forward against her hip as she pulled up his T-shirt to reveal a mess of tiny bleeding scratches around a clear puncture wound just below his right shoulder blade. They weren't serious, but the raised red marks looked sore. There were bruises too.

"What's this?" she gasped, wincing on Kyle's behalf.

Kyle spoke flatly. "Foss shot me with a tranquillizer dart. I–"

"In the _back_?" Nicole was furious. How dare that man inject drugs into Kyle without permission! She didn't care what the circumstances were. Kyle wasn't a violent person, he had never raised so much as a finger to anyone unless in defense. He tensed, sensing Nicole's anger.

"I'm sorry," he murmured in case he'd done something to upset her.

Nicole had momentarily forgotten that Kyle was so sensitive. She sighed, pulled the T-shirt all the way up and over Kyle's head and arms, threw it on the floor then crouched in front of him. She looked up into his face.

"It's okay, Kyle. I'm not mad at you," she reassured him. She saw him visibly sag with relief. She looked at his smooth, bellybuttonless abdomen with new eyes before they were drawn to the ring dangling on a leather cord that he always wore round his neck: Adam Baylin's strange ring. She raised her hand to touch it, but in a blink, he had grasped it in his own hand protectively. Nicole said nothing. She removed his shoes and socks and stood up.

"Do you think you can stand, or do I need to get Stephen?" she asked. Kyle looked puzzled.

"Your pants," she stated.

Kyle processed that for a moment then braced himself on Nicole's arm and got shakily to his feet. He closed his eyes against the nausea, and without a moment's hesitation, he began undoing his jeans. There was no self-consciousness as he stepped out of them and Nicole helped him into the bath. As he slid into the sudsy water, she noticed how, apart from the patchy bruises that covered him, his body had changed since the days when she and Stephen had supervised his bath-times. He hadn't been lying about his training sessions with Tom Foss; the evidence was there to see. His muscles were more defined, tensing and relaxing with his movements. He was slender and toned, but still lacked the bulk of a fully mature man. Nicole helped to ease him down into the water. He winced a bit as he laid his head back and closed his eyes with a small sigh. Satisfied that he was safely in the bath, she turned and gathered up the dirty clothing.

"I'll get you some clean clothes," she said quietly. "I'll be right back."

As she left the room, she saw Kyle slide under the water just as he always had. She smiled as she remembered those strange days when he was like an infant. Then her smile dropped away as reality hit home that he had never been an ordinary infant; he had never experienced being rocked to sleep in his parents' arms, or being played with in the park, or losing a front tooth while squabbling with a sibling.

At the bottom of the stairs, she passed Stephen in the hall. He noticed her sad expression.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

Nicole snapped out of her reverie and cuddled up to her husband. "Oh Stephen. It's all so bizarre."

Stephen squeezed his wife close and said, "I know. How's Kyle doing?"

"He can hardly move he's so drained. He's in the bath now. I'm just getting him some clean clothes." She breathed in the reassuring scent of her husband then pulled back, looking into his face. "I'm worried," she said. "There's something different about him."

"That's what worries _me_," Stephen replied seriously, shuddering at the memory of everything shaking. "And what worries me even more is how deep this whole thing goes."

Nicole sighed heavily. It was a signal to put that conversation on hold that she hoped Stephen would pick up on. He did.

"When you're done with Kyle, I'll make us both a hot drink. I'd better go see how Josh is doing with the clean-up in there," and he nodded at the dining room. "He's been too quiet."

Stephen kissed Nicole tenderly and left her to her job in hand. She watched her husband's back lovingly before he disappeared round the corner. He had been so good about everything, had made them all feel safe. However, she knew him, and knew that inside he was very anxious about the whole situation and was trying to consider the implications of Kyle being here with them. She blocked that line of thought and focused on Kyle's clothes.

A few minutes later Nicole walked back into the bathroom to find Kyle exactly as she had left him. She laid the clean clothing on the toilet and took a seat on the edge of the bath. Her mind drifted back and she could hear Josh ribbing Kyle about his alien origins, claiming he liked the tub because it reminded him of his pod. Who would've guessed how eerily near the mark Josh had been? Nicole gently swiped the bubbles away and peered down at Kyle's face under the water. His eyes were closed and he looked calmer. She remembered him telling her once how he felt safe in the tub somehow; at the time, he couldn't explain it. She blinked away the memory. This wasn't something to be joked about any longer. Is this what he had looked like for sixteen years? She found herself trying to imagine what it must have been like for him. This beautiful, miraculous boy, destined to spend his whole life immersed in fluid in a sealed chamber. For what? It brought tears to her eyes.

Her heart lurched when she realized Kyle had been under the water for more than ten minutes and hadn't moved a muscle. In panic she reached in and tugged both his shoulders. He jumped and sat up, eyes wide, water and bubbles streaming from his hair. Nicole sagged with relief, but Kyle looked sad that he'd caused her more worry. She tried to hide her concerns and smiled down at him.

"Ready to come out?" she asked.

Kyle stared down at himself in the bath and realized he hadn't actually had a bath for months; he tended to shower. He'd forgotten how warm and comforting it felt to be in the water. With all the pain and disruption that had been caused because of him, he considered the appeal of being put to sleep and sealed back inside a tank. None of this would have happened if he hadn't survived his extraction. Guilt lanced that thought straight out of his head and he sucked in a sharp breath between his teeth. The pain brought tears to his eyes. He wanted it all to stop…just long enough for him to catch his breath. _That's all_ he argued with his conscience. He was struggling to contain his emotions.

Nicole noticed the angst on his face and her psychologist's training kicked in. "Let's get you out of here and into bed." It was called the distraction method.

Kyle said nothing as he unsteadily made it to his feet and stood dripping and shivering in the tub. Nicole hadn't expected quite such a quick reaction. She hurriedly grabbed a clean bath sheet from the shelf and threw it round him. She helped him from the tub and found herself toweling him dry like he was a toddler. She then dabbed antiseptic lotion on the scratches on his back and witch-hazeled his bruises. He put up no resistance; in fact, it was disturbing to Nicole how little he was reacting to anything at all. He mostly watched her with curious, soulful eyes – just like he had when he'd first come to live with them.

"What is it, Kyle?" she asked him once he was fully clothed in loose pajama pants and a white T-shirt.

He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his sagging shoulders. She could see his confidence plummeting before her very eyes, slowly unraveling everything they'd worked towards since his arrival. He rubbed his eyes and looked nervous. It very much brought to mind how Kyle had looked when she'd discovered him unharmed after rescuing the girl from the burning beach shack. She knew then that he was frightened of being taken away…or worse, being forced to leave by his family. She remembered her promises to him that she would never let that happen; that she would look after him.

"Oh honey, it'll all be okay," she soothed, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close.

Nicole felt Kyle's arms slowly come up her back and grip the fabric of her blouse. She let him have a few moments of resting his head on her shoulder and breathing a bit too fast into her neck before gently leading him from the bathroom down to his own room. She noticed how his pace had picked up slightly, and he wasn't leaning as heavily on her arm. He had also stopped shivering.

As she helped him settle into his bathtub bed, she cupped his face with her hand. "You asked me what you are. I'll tell you. You are a wonderful, healthy, extraordinary human boy. Nothing else. You are Kyle Trager." Kyle couldn't speak, but Nicole hadn't expected him to as she quietly left the room.

He closed his tearful eyes and snuggled down under his blankets for comfort. What Nicole hadn't known was that he could hear a conversation going on upstairs; a conversation he had been trying to block out for some time, but in his weakened state had been unable to.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Pain)_


	19. Pain

Kyle attempts to clear his head.  
(02Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Regression_)

* * *

Chapter 19:  
**Pain**

_Nicole had once said to me that the people most important to us are the ones who hold the most potential to hurt us. I had caused hurt to the people I love, because I had failed to protect them. But it seemed to work both ways. It was obvious from her reaction to me earlier that Lori had been angry with me for some time over her break-up with Declan, and about my desire to help Jessi. But now I felt the sting of her betrayal, just like I had with Jessi's. _

_It became clear to me that Lori had fed Amanda's worry about my relationship with Jessi, and now she was on the phone trying to retract it without revealing any of my secrets. I didn't want to listen, but I couldn't switch my hearing off; and I couldn't stop the pounding of Amanda's distressed heartbeat in my mind as her trust in me wavered. I couldn't blame her for being angry and confused, because I should have been honest with her at the start of our relationship. I was not who she thought I was, but I desperately needed her to know I had not betrayed her in the way she was considering I might have. _

_My mind was in turmoil and I didn't know what was happening to me. The more I tried to rein in my senses, the more they seemed to run away. Every nerve in my body tingled, and I could feel the crescendo of pain it created in my head pushing me further from my own consciousness. I was terrified that my presence in the house was putting the people I cared about in more danger than ever before. I remember crying out for it to stop then suddenly it did._

Kyle stopped writhing, both mentally and physically, and slumped in his tub with a loud sigh. Everything went quiet and he snapped his eyes open. His surroundings buzzed with an almost electrical energy as he sat up and scanned his room. His senses were alive and working simultaneously sending millions of messages to his brain. Everything felt more vibrant, and it seemed he could detect every tiny particle in the atmosphere. He was in that place again; that place he'd been in the forest, only this time it was different: he was aware of his body. Obviously, the drug Foss had given him then really had paralyzed him, which accounted for not being able to sense his body at all.

Kyle was confused. One minute he was in sensory agony, the next he was still sensitive to everything, but this pain was almost pleasurable. He looked down at his hand. He could see his own life force radiating from within lending his skin a hint of luminescence. Sick fascination caused him to hold his hand up in front of his eyes and he wiggled his fingers. He felt light as a feather, and had to make sure he wasn't floating above the tub. What had happened to him?

Suddenly a familiar voice cut through the energy buzz. "You crossed your pain threshold. It's interesting how much power Amanda has over you."

Kyle pressed his hands over his ears against the pain caused by the volume of the voice in his head. He whipped round to find a figure standing behind the tub. He found himself suddenly standing opposite, and looked down at the tub in confusion. The figure spoke again in a familiar, unemotional way. "You can read the frequencies, Kyle, so adjust your hearing."

He searched out what seemed to be the right signatures and suddenly they adjusted. "Jessi?" he asked, wondering whether this was another episode of 'talking to himself' like he had experienced with the image of Adam Baylin the previous day while trying to decide whether to break his parent's lockdown and go after Jessi.

In the time it took him to blink, she had grabbed his hand and a jolt of energy shot through him, throwing him back several paces. Jessi seemed unmoved. Kyle walked tentatively back towards her, or floated, he wasn't sure which, and stopped a couple of paces away. He studied her with his new eyes, seeing colors in her hair he had never noticed before. Her eyes seemed to glow with a strange golden light, but there was no warmth in them. He felt uneasy. He wondered if he was dead, whether they both were. Maybe Jessi had come to meet him to take him on to the afterlife that Amanda's religion promised.

"I'm not a figment of your imagination," she stated, her eyes boring into his. "But I _am_ inside your mind."

Kyle's eyes widened. Inside his mind was one place he did not want Jessi to be ever again. He tried to push down his fear as the voice of his intuition echoed all around them: _Jessi cannot be trusted._

Jessi cocked her head to the side and presented him with one of her disingenuous smiles. "I want to help you, Kyle, because you tried to help me…but you are right not to trust me."

"How can this be happening?" Kyle blurted. "Where are you? Are you alive? Are you injured?"

"I crossed my pain threshold too," Jessi lowered her eyes and closed the gap between herself and Kyle. She leaned close to his left ear before he could retreat and whispered, "Listen to me. Madacorp will be coming for you. I can't say more because they will eventually learn what I say and how I am saying it."

Kyle could feel the energy radiating from her skin just before the painful memory of her betrayal squeezed his heart. "What do they need _me_ for if you got the ZZYZX database for them?"

Jessi tensed and pulled away from him in a heartbeat. "I am sorry, I couldn't help myself. But that's not the most important thing I took." Kyle's blood pumped in his ears as she continued. "They want something important that I learned about you, Kyle…and so far I haven't given it to them."

"Jessi, please! What are you talking about?" Kyle's senses reached out in all directions, searching for a frequency he could use to unravel his confusion. Jessi blocked his attempts to read her thoughts.

"You have to discover it yourself," she glanced around nervously. "Before Madacorp does."

Kyle felt his nerves tingling as his frustration and fear mounted. "Please, Jessi," he murmured. "I don't know what's happening to me. Help me!"

Jessi glanced over her shoulder as she turned and walked around to the other side of the tub. She ran her fingers along the smooth enamel and said flatly, "I am everything you are not. You can't trust me, Kyle, because I will do what I have to in order to survive. All I can do to help you is warn you to defend yourself against _me_."

"Against _you_?" Kyle asked stupidly.

Jessi nodded. "As much I want to change, in the end I will use anything I can to bring Madacorp down. Even you."

Her words stung him painfully.

"Why?" Kyle asked pathetically, genuinely at a loss to understand her.

"Because it's who I am meant to be," she stated.

Kyle shook his head. "Jessi, no. That's not true! Let me help you."

"If you really want to help me, follow your heart," and she was gone. What did she mean by that?

There was a surge of energy and Kyle found himself huddled under his blanket in the tub. His heart was pounding, but his headache had subsided to a dull pinch. His throat felt like sandpaper and his fingertips tingled. He scrambled out of the tub and went to the door.

oooOooo

Kyle crept into the kitchen, approached the refrigerator and pulled himself a bottle of chilled water from the top shelf. He felt the near-freezing liquid course its way down his throat and into his stomach. He downed half the bottle before taking a breath then walked round the breakfast bar, slumping onto one of the high stools. It was dark in the kitchen apart from the reflections from the lights outside. He could sense that the rain clouds were dispersing and the morning would be clear and crisp. He realized then that he had been 'asleep' for a couple of hours. He felt like he was going insane.

A million emotions seemed to crowd into his heart all at once. He laid his head on his arms on the counter top and began to cry silently. Nothing made sense to him anymore; he didn't even understand himself. He wanted answers, and every time he got some, twice as many new questions sprung up to torture him. Shedding tears seemed to ease the tension pressing against his skull. He was so absorbed in his misery that he never heard the soft footsteps behind him, and he jumped so violently when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder that he nearly toppled the stools like dominoes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," said Nicole. "I heard someone down here and thought I'd check to see if you and Declan were okay."

"Declan?" Kyle sniffed.

Nicole nodded. "He's on the couch. Asleep." She reached over and put her hand on Kyle's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Kyle wiped at his tear-stained face with the back of his right hand and tried to sit up straight. Then he sagged. "Not really," he said honestly. "But my head feels a lot better."

"That's good," Nicole said kindly. She got herself a glass of milk and sat beside Kyle, drawing her dressing gown around her legs. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Kyle looked at her tired face in the dim light and felt sad at the worry he found there. He opened his mouth to speak, but all the words seemed to rush up and bottleneck in his throat. He swallowed hard and blurted, "It's Jessi."

Nicole nodded.

"You know something about her, don't you?" Kyle asked, sniffing gently.

Nicole nodded again.

"Will you tell me?" Kyle asked.

"I don't think now is a good time," she said softly and stroked his arm.

He bowed his head and leaned into Nicole's shoulder. She pulled him close. "Oh Kyle, I wish I had the ability to make everyone happy."

Kyle put his arms around Nicole and said, without humor, "Even _I _don't have that one."

He pulled away from the warmth of the embrace and wished Nicole good night as he padded barefoot back to his room. Thoughts of Jessi had given way to those of Amanda. He missed her so terribly already.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Thresholds)_


	20. Thresholds

Kyle attempts to clear his head.  
(02Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Pain_)

* * *

Chapter 20:  
**Thresholds**

Kyle tried to settle back into his tub, but too many disturbing thoughts were racing around in his mind. He was frightened of losing Amanda, but he couldn't call her. Foss had made him destroy his cell phone and the house phone's two handsets were temporarily out of reach, one being in Lori's room, the other in Nicole and Stephen's. He thought about borrowing Declan's cell, but didn't want to wake him; his friend had been through a lot and needed the release of sleep.

Kyle tried reaching out to Amanda with his mind, but his usual control was disrupted. His feelings were all over the place. Why couldn't he do what he usually found easy? All he wanted to do was fall asleep listening to her heartbeat like he normally did. He tried to focus on the memory of Amanda's energy and reached out again towards where he thought it would be. All that he met with was an image of Jessi. He recoiled and tried again. The same thing happened. And again. Each time he tried to link with Amanda, he came up against a memory of Jessi. There had to be some significance to that.

Kyle ran his holographic memory of the strange encounter with Jessi, looking for something he'd missed, something he could understand. Jessi had told him that he had crossed his pain threshold. What did that mean? It seemed logical that the body would have a shut-off valve for pain, but did Jessi mean that he had simply passed out and was dreaming? Or hallucinating? His memory told him that he had _not_ been dreaming; he had been aware of himself and his surroundings, like he had been in the woods when Foss had drugged him. Then he remembered his odd encounter with the Adam Baylin who was really a part of his own mind – that had also happened when he'd been in extreme pain. How were these events linked? His mind was sluggish – the drugs, lack of sleep, emotional and physical taxation – all had taken a toll on his mental agility. Why couldn't he think?

He rolled onto his side and shut his eyes. The closing action of his eyelids squeezed out more tears that he hadn't even realized were there, and he felt the tickle as they coursed down the side of his nose and into the crease of his mouth. He raised a hand and wiped some away with his fingertips then rubbed the wet fingers against his thumb absently and felt the moisture. He licked his lips. Salt water. Something moved in his mind. He opened his eyes and sat up, staring at his wet fingers. Something was hovering on the periphery of his psychic sense. It was frustrating him that he couldn't 'see' it, but he knew it was there. Another tear ran down his face and splashed onto his hand like a…

"Drop of rain," he murmured to himself.

He blinked and leaned back in his tub staring into the dimness of the room. Something about that phrase woke recognition in him and he tried to flick back through his memories, searching for…he didn't know what. His brain was on fire, every synapse throbbing as he passed from memory to memory, reaching all the way back to the beginning. As he raced through his first memories of Kern and Foss in the forest, he came across the ZZYZX information. That surprised him. If the files he had downloaded were still here in his head, then Jessi hadn't taken the information; she had presumably only copied it. He rushed towards it and just as his immensely powerful mind tried to process billions of pieces of information simultaneously and bring them into consciousness, he suddenly tripped on a knot in his deepest neural pathway. Most of the information was seemingly accessible, but when he tried to process it, it threw him out and his mind slammed into his own firewall. The shock almost made him cry out. He knew that the answers to his questions lay on the other side of that barrier.

He hammered his mental fists against the wall inside his mind and probed it for cracks or weaknesses. For the first time, Kyle could sense the real presence of the thing that had caused so much trouble for so many people. Something else inside him fell into place as it dawned on him that this was somehow connected with whatever had caused Professor Kern to order his termination at ZZYZX. Had they known what lay beyond it deep inside his mind? Had they put it there? Had Jessi known too? Is that why she had thrown herself into the falls…so Madacorp couldn't take that knowledge from her? Suddenly his memory scored a hit and Jessi's words came up: _They want something important that I learned about you, Kyle…and so far I haven't given it to them._

His heart rate picked up as he realized there was an unspoken message there: Jessi was alive! She had cloaked the message, which meant Madacorp was still a danger. He pushed himself up in the tub and tried to control his breathing, as panic threatened to snatch it. Jessi could get into his mind when his guard was down. That made her very dangerous and him very nervous, because his mind was doing things he couldn't understand or control. _What am I? _That, and a hundred more questions, began to surface on the back of his realization, but he willed them all away. There were only two things he wanted to know the answers to right now: one was whether Amanda would ever trust him again, and the other was how to break through the barrier in his mind. It seemed that there was more to be learned about the mystery of his creation. What was so important that he would keep it locked away so securely, even from himself? Now that he knew it was there it tantalized him like an itch he couldn't scratch. He probed and worried at it looking for a way to remove it, to step over this mysterious threshold in his mind. It frightened him to think that Jessi may have already got past it.

Kyle needed air. He needed to think, but his mind was jumbled and sore. The constant pressure in his head caused by the guilt he felt about Amanda had never truly eased since he'd overheard the conversation between her and Lori earlier. He had to talk to her. The decision gave him a welcome focus. He eased himself from the tub and hurriedly sneaked out of his window. He knew that Stephen would have set the burglar alarm on all the other possible exits, but Kyle had disabled the one on his own window weeks ago to allow himself to sneak in and out for Foss' training sessions.

He crept around the side of the house and down the driveway on shaky legs, his bare feet making no sound at all. The rain had indeed stopped and the pre-dawn air was chilly, just as he'd predicted earlier. At least _that_ ability still seemed to be working, he thought wryly. His mind was focused on Amanda as he exited the Tragers' property and entered the Blooms'. He stopped for a moment remembering the first time he'd ever walked this path, the time he'd entered the house and watched Amanda playing the piano; the music had almost broken his heart as it elicited his very first… "Tears," he said out loud. That feeling swooped back again, but the thought was just out of reach. He shook it away, not wanting any more distractions; he was finding it hard enough to concentrate as it was.

He padded up towards the front of the house, stopped at the bottom of the porch steps and stared up at Amanda's window. How was he going to get her attention? He could easily climb up, but he didn't want to frighten her. She'd not long got over the experience of being burgled, and he didn't want to traumatize her further. His shoulders sagged. What was he doing? He couldn't wake Amanda up in the middle of the night and tell her the truth about himself; she'd never believe him, or she'd think she was dreaming…or worse, she would think he was a monster.

That thought killed his confidence.

Kyle turned and was about to return home when he heard the Blooms' front door open quietly. He turned back towards the house and his eyes widened as he saw Amanda emerge onto the porch. He froze, suddenly unsure of himself.

"Kyle! What are you doing?" Amanda said in a loud whisper, looking down the stairs at him, taking in his bare feet and thin nightclothes.

"I…I…" he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

Amanda looked like an angel, her long white dressing gown billowing gently in the chilly breeze. She shivered slightly and drew it tightly around herself, holding it in place and revealing her slender figure. Kyle noticed how her hair moved like satin and her eyes shone in the dim porch lighting. He didn't think she had ever looked so beautiful. Her porcelain skin cried out to be touched and he longed to run his fingers along her perfect collarbone. He didn't have the words to describe how he felt about Amanda, and his heart ached like he hadn't seen her for a million years.

"Kyle?" Amanda eyed him suspiciously.

He remained silent, unable to utter the words he needed to say. Then he realized why he was scared: he didn't want her to hurt him with her anger and disappointment. He didn't think he could take any more; he'd had enough of that from Lori and he didn't want anything to trigger the uncontrollable force inside. Amanda's expression changed from suspicion to concern as she descended a couple of steps towards him. He took a couple of paces backwards in response, remembering how Lori had tried to physically slap him. Amanda stopped.

"Kyle, what's wrong with you?" she asked, genuinely puzzled and concerned. He didn't look right. What came out of his mouth took them both completely by surprise.

"Amanda, I'm sorry, I know you're upset with me, but I promise you there was nothing inappropriate going on between Jessi and me, I found things out about her, she and I are from the same place, she was troubled, like I was, I just wanted to help her, I thought we could help each other, but I couldn't stop her, she jumped from the cliff…she jumped into Victor Falls," he blurted in one breathless sentence, stumbling over his words as they tumbled from his mouth. He gasped when he realized that at some point during his tirade he had sunk to his knees. He stared up at Amanda standing halfway down the steps, glowing with the backlighting from the porch. He felt like a sinner in one of her Bible stories cowering before Judgment. "I couldn't stop her," he repeated mostly to himself and he pushed down with every scrap of his mental might as the pain of it all threatened to surface again.

Amanda clapped both hands over her mouth, then she pushed them out in front of her, palms toward Kyle, gesturing him to be quiet as she frantically looked behind her into the house. "Sssh! You'll wake my mom!" she whispered desperately as she quickly descended the rest of the steps and dropped down in front of Kyle. She put her hands on his shoulders and dipped her head slightly, forcing eye contact. She noticed he was trembling.

"Kyle, did you just say that Jessi jumped into Victor Falls?" Kyle nodded sadly. "You _saw_ that?" Amanda asked, afraid of the answer. Kyle's eyes filled with tears as he nodded again. Amanda frowned. "And you came here in the middle of the night, after seeing that, to apologize to me because you thought I was upset with you over Jessi?"

Kyle gazed into the horrified eyes of the girl that was more precious to him than any other. "Yes," was his simple answer; it was the truth, and he was beyond embarrassment.

Amanda shook her head in disbelief, but remained silent.

Kyle spoke instead, quietly. "Amanda, there's something else. It's really important."

Amanda thought for a moment then stood, pulling Kyle up with her. "Come on; let's get inside before we both freeze. I only came downstairs for a drink when I saw you through the lounge window!"

She took his hand and started to lead him up the steps, but he stopped on the third one. "What about your mom?" he asked nervously.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Nobody's rules can cover every situation, Kyle. You should know that, otherwise you wouldn't be here in your pajamas."

It disturbed her that he didn't even smile. She continued to watch him as they approached the house. There was something different about Kyle that she couldn't quite put her finger on, and as he crossed the threshold, he had the look in his eyes of someone about to face his worst fear.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Thresholds)_


	21. Confessions

Kyle finds comfort with Amanda.  
(05Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Thresholds_)

* * *

Chapter 21:  
**Confessions**

Kyle looked around Amanda's house as she led him by the hand quietly up the stairs towards her room. He had never been this far inside before. The walls were much barer than in the Tragers' house, with sparse paintings and just a few framed photographs. He caught sight of one of Amanda. He stopped to look at it, causing Amanda to come to an abrupt halt halfway up the stairs. He gazed at the happy young girl in the picture; the man who was hugging her from behind had light hair and sparkling eyes. _Her_ eyes. Kyle knew without a doubt that this was Amanda's father. He gazed with fascination at the face he'd never seen.

"That was the last photo of us together," Amanda said, ever so quietly, as she tugged Kyle's hand and continued up the stairs on tiptoes.

He finally dragged his eyes away from the photo as his arm extended fully under her gentle pressure. He looked up at her and an image flashed through his mind like a movie. He heard Amanda laughing and…he blinked and pushed it aside. Then there was a stabbing sensation in his chest as he felt the intensity of how much she missed her dad. Kyle almost recoiled, which reinforced his awareness of just how hypersensitive he was lately. When Amanda reached the top of the stairs she surreptitiously glanced around, put her finger over her lips at Kyle then tugged him towards a room to the left at the end of a long hallway. Once they were both inside, she released his hand and closed the door gently, wincing as it clicked shut.

Kyle felt strange. He'd never been in Amanda's room before, except in his mind every night since discovering he could reach out and hear her heartbeat. A soft, pink glow seemed to emanate from everywhere as he looked around in silence. It was a warm, welcoming room after the chill of the wind outside. Or was it Amanda that was warm and welcoming? His eyes came to rest on a small photo of Mrs. Bloom on the bedside table. He knew that her mother didn't allow Amanda to have boys in the bedroom; Charlie had always been confined downstairs and she didn't like Kyle in the house at all – though he had to admit she had been somewhat more tolerant of his presence since the whole episode with Amanda's treasured necklace.

He pulled his eyes away from the photo; he felt like Mrs. Bloom was watching him. "Your mom won't like this," he said seriously, turning to Amanda.

She unconsciously looked at her door. "Which is why you have to be out of here no later than 5.30 – my mom's usually up at 6 a.m. - that gives us an hour," Amanda whispered then winced. "And please, Kyle, try to keep your voice down."

"Sorry," he said in an especially drawn out, quiet whisper.

If he hadn't looked so worried, Amanda would have found it funny. She guided him to her sofa and they both sat. Kyle stared at his hands in his lap and swallowed. Amanda's presence was distracting him from telling her what he needed to. He could feel her eyes burning into him. It was a feeling he wasn't sure he disliked, but neither was he sure that it felt good. It was Amanda who spoke first.

"Are you okay? I mean _really_ okay?" she asked tentatively.

Kyle gazed into her worried eyes and found himself in the same dilemma he usually found himself in with people, especially those he cared about. He desperately wanted to nod and say he was fine, because he didn't want her to worry; but he had come here to confess that he had been keeping things from her; that he had been lying to everybody about his past. He wanted to set the record straight between them; she deserved the truth. And the truth was: he wasn't okay. He wasn't okay at all.

"No," he stated simply, and felt a pang of guilt as her brow creased further with concern.

"Kyle," she hesitated, clearly trying to find the right words. "I'm not okay either."

His eyes grew wide. His mind began to put up internal shields against the pain he suspected was coming. He swallowed down the lump in his throat. He wanted to pull his eyes away from hers, but forced himself to face her. He deserved whatever she was about to throw at him.

Amanda noticed the change in his expression. She had learned a lot of his expressions over the one year she had known him, and this one she knew pretty well, only now it seemed more intense than she'd ever noticed before. _He_ was more intense than ever before.

"I should've trusted you with Jessi," she confessed. "But the truth is: I didn't. Not inside. In that weird underground place in the woods, Jessi was really in my face about how you and her 'shared a connection', and she couldn't understand what you see in _me_. She told me she wanted you."

"What?" Kyle's heart skipped a beat. This wasn't what he'd expected. "Did she say what she wanted me for?"

Amanda sagged in her seat, still amazed at Kyle's genuine naiveté, and said, "Well, no! I assumed she meant she, you know, wanted to _be_ with you." Kyle's face actually went blank. Amanda rolled her eyes. "You know, boyfriend and girlfriend kind of 'be with you'?"

Kyle's expression changed to one of shock. This was so out of his predicted orbit, he was struggling badly. "Jessi said that?"

Amanda nodded. "And when I told her that you were with _me_, she got all intense and said it wasn't supposed to be that way; that once you two spent time together, you would understand that. So I thought…when I saw you both after the charity event…and…then you went after her yesterday…and when Lori said…"

"It's okay," Kyle interjected, shocked and uncomfortable. "I get it now."

Amanda was quick to continue. "But even though I was really angry and upset earlier, I've spent all night thinking about things."

Something was prodding the other side of the defenses Kyle had put up. He gazed at Amanda, unable to gather his thoughts as he watched her exquisite mouth open to speak again.

"I thought about all the amazing things you've said and done," she continued, "and I realized that I shouldn't listen to what other people say. Sometimes it's better not to listen to your head at all, but to follow your heart." Something lurched deep inside Kyle's memory, but he was too absorbed with Amanda to deal with it. Her voice was like music to him. "And I'm sorry I was too jealous to see that Jessi really was a troubled person, and you were telling me the truth about trying to help her." Amanda fixed him with her beautiful, shining eyes and finished with, "I should know you by now, Kyle. I should know you wouldn't lie to me."

Kyle's heart pounded with anxiety and his mouth went dry. The terrible taste of guilt began to taint the back of his throat. A ball of nausea rolled around somewhere in his gut. Shame burned his cheeks as he tore his eyes away from Amanda and stared fiercely at his hands as they nervously gripped the fabric of his pajama pants. He dug his fingers into his thighs; the pain gave him something else to focus on. With his last drop of courage, Kyle willed himself to look once more look into the eyes of the girl he…_loved_…and tell her the truth about everything. She was still eyeing him, her expression changing with every second he was silent.

"Amanda," he croaked then cleared his tightening throat. "I _have_ been lying. And I have been…keeping secrets," he confessed and instantly regretted that he hadn't put it a different way. He could see the horror forming behind her eyes. She shook her head almost imperceptibly.

"You…have?" she said in a small voice.

"But not just from you, from everybody, even myself sometimes!" Kyle continued quickly in a failed attempt to soften the blow. "But it was necessary."

Amanda sat back; Kyle could read her body language without the aid of his special abilities. He hated himself for having hurt her, but he had to explain everything before she told him to get out. He felt sick as he shifted his body so that he faced her more squarely.

"Please hear me out," he pleaded to her with every part of his being. She simply nodded dumbly. Kyle could feel her emotional defenses going up. Her heart rate had increased and he could feel her tears forming somewhere inside. Then he felt the steel of her willpower cut in and a new feeling emerged. Her emotional strength astounded him. She tore her eyes from his and he felt a terrible wave of dizziness. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for the strength to get this over with so he could leave before the uncontrollable inner force showed itself again. Amanda's voice made him open his eyes. She was looking at him again, only now the hard edge of defensiveness had gone.

"Okay," she whispered – whether to herself or to him he wasn't sure – and took a very deep breath. "I spent hours promising myself that I wasn't going to make snap judgments anymore, that I would try to gather all the information before reaching my conclusions. Charlie betrayed me, Kyle, but I can't believe you would do the same. So tell me the truth and stop trying to protect me, because I need to believe that's the _only_ reason you would lie."

Kyle felt a surge of relief well up inside himself. She _did_ know him! The strength of her faith in him seemed to flood him with light. He didn't know how she would take what she was going to hear, but he had to respect her right to hear it.

"Amanda, it _is_ the only reason," he said firmly. "And I'm not asking you to understand any of what I'm about to tell you, just that you listen. It's really important to me that you know the truth, because…" His voice trailed off.

"Because?" she prompted.

Kyle swallowed into, "Because _you're_ really important to me."

And like a lighthouse in a storm, Amanda smiled her light on him and made the way clearer. His heart juddered in his chest, urging him to smile back. He lowered his own defenses just enough to let her warmth inside and he felt a smile forming on his face. It felt somewhat unfamiliar after the sadness and despair of the last couple of days, but incredibly healing, too. It reminded him of when they'd first met after he'd let himself into the Blooms' house and watched Amanda playing the piano. While her mom had ranted at Nicole, Amanda had smiled kindly at him. Somehow she had known he had meant her no harm, even then. He hoped she still felt that way. He let himself relax enough to lean back on the sofa and took a very slow, deep breath.

He cupped Amanda's hands in his own as he began to tell her the whole story about his creation and all the subsequent events up to this very point in time. He watched her expression changing as he related the details of why he had kept so much from her, and why it was important that she didn't tell anyone else about him. He found that once he'd started, it was so much easier talking to Amanda than it had been when telling his family. Even though she interrupted him now and then to ask a question, or to get him to repeat things, or tell him to keep his voice down, it never felt awkward like it had with the Tragers. Amanda had always been especially accepting of him, right from the beginning. He told her about Lori's reaction, Jessi's betrayal, and subsequent appearance in his head.

He told Amanda so many things he hadn't told anyone before. And as he did so, his mind began to comprehend something he had puzzled over in one of their numerous conversations about her Catholic faith. He realized that Confession wasn't about shaming, blaming, punishment, or simply about clearing the conscience. It was about reinforcing the healing power of honesty, and taking responsibility. Amanda wasn't an honest person simply because she feared what would happen if she weren't; she was honest because it made her comfortable about who she was; and being comfortable with who she was made her responsible. Kyle realized he needed that desperately, because right now he wasn't at all comfortable with who he was. He wasn't even sure _what_ he was.

That's when he felt the tears start to pool in the corners of his eyes. There was nothing he could do to hide them, but for once he didn't try to. They were honest tears. He was tired and he was scared. It felt good to let go of the tension. He also realized, as he caressed Amanda's slender fingers, that he didn't really care what she did or said to him. He realized that she could do anything at all and he would still feel the same about her. He loved her, and he could feel himself opening up to her; he was truly following his heart. That realization pinched him and he broke free of his thoughts to wipe at his eyes with the back of a hand, too distressed to take on the memory of Jessi that was beating against his defenses like a bird at the window glass. He ignored it. His head dropped and he fixed his eyes on their hands, entwined and resting on his knees.

There was a very long pause before Amanda said, "Wow. That's a lot to deal with, huh?"

Kyle nodded his agreement with a sniff.

"I'm really proud of you for coping so well. And for being so brave," Amanda continued.

Kyle looked up in astonishment. "But Amanda, I'm _not_ coping so well. And I'm really _not_ so brave."

"Oh, you are, Kyle. Believe me, you are," she smiled at him. "But after everything you've told me, you've never once told me where _you_ fit in."

He unconsciously cocked his head to one side and his eyes begged her to explain. "Yes, I have," he said. "I've told you as much as I know."

She shifted into a more comfortable position and said, quite seriously, "You can do all these amazing things. And people have been fighting for you, and against you, and against each other, to control and manipulate you into doing what they feel is your destiny. But how do _you_ really feel about it all? You never talk about your feelings, Kyle." She raised a hand to his face and thumbed away some of the wetness before continuing. "You need to stop being afraid of who you are, because you are amazing; but you can't make everybody happy at the same time no matter how fast your brain works. It seems to me that's why you're in this mess."

Kyle was entranced by her composure. He hung onto every word she said, committing every moment to memory. He knew she was onto something. "Since when did you become so wise?" he asked her quietly.

She smiled and gently traced the line of his jaw with her fingers. "You really want to know?" He nodded eagerly. "Since knowing _you._"

Kyle didn't know what to say. He'd never thought of himself as particularly wise. Smart, maybe, but never wise. And Amanda's touch was very distracting.

"You need to stop thinking about what everybody else needs and wants. Your needs and wants are important too," she said softly and lowered her hand from his face.

Kyle frowned. "The last time I got what I needed and wanted, it caused hurt to everyone I care about."

Amanda knew that he was referring to coming back to live with the Tragers after leaving Adam Baylin's. That whole thing freaked her out. Why would they make Kyle witness his 'death'? How sick! They could've spared him that.

"But your leaving like that hurt us all a lot more," Amanda reassured him.

She was amazing him more with every word. "I never thought of it that way," he murmured, feeling a little disturbed. She always had a way of making him see things differently.

"Well, you should, because it's the truth. I can't speak for everybody, but personally, I don't care where you came from or how different you are. You're here now, and even without all those other amazing things you can do…you have the most important ability of all, Kyle: you have a soul that touches people."

Kyle gasped as her words triggered the memory of Adam in his study. He tried to shut it off, but it continued to play in his head until Adam said those similar words, then it shifted to a memory he'd never seen before. He was standing, no, _Adam _was standing with a woman with long brown hair. He couldn't see her face, but they were holding hands. Kyle stepped into the scene, as his holographic memory usually allowed, but it suddenly shut off and whipped back behind the locked door before he could grasp it.

"Kyle?" Amanda's voice brought him back.

"Y-yes?" he stammered, perplexed.

Amanda smiled again. "Anyway, you need to believe more in yourself. My dad told me that we can all make things happen to our advantage if we really believe."

"How?" Kyle asked, losing himself in her eyes.

She noticed his intense gaze, and her cheeks grew hot. "You think about what you really want and you make it happen."

Kyle processed what she had said and almost whispered, "Change within, change the world around you."

"What was that?" Amanda asked, having barely heard him.

Kyle shook himself internally and said, "Something Adam once said."

"Kyle? Have you heard a word _I've_ said?" Amanda was sure he'd gone into some kind of trance; his expression was so intense.

Kyle felt himself falling further and further into Amanda's eyes. Their gaze rolled over him repeatedly, like surf on a beach; soothing yet holding the potential to cause great harm to him. If he weren't who he was, he would have drowned in them by now. Her vibration hummed in his head and he could feel her heart beating from where he sat. He opened himself up a little more to take in as much of her as he dared. She was like a drug. He thought about what she'd said about considering his own feelings now and then. He wondered if she trusted him enough to let him try. He wondered if he trusted her enough. He'd never really asserted his own feelings before; other people's usually came first for him. Her eyes seemed to be encouraging him. He blinked. Was he misreading them?

Then he bit the bullet Declan was always referring to, raised both his hands to Amanda's face and combed his fingers backwards through her hair all the way to the ends. It felt soft and silky like dipping his fingers into warm water.

"What are you doing?" Amanda said in surprise a bit too loudly and clapped a hand over her mouth.

Kyle seemed lost as he murmured, "I'm doing what you said. I'm following my _own_ feelings." Then he did it again, savoring every last sensation of every strand of hair that ran through his fingers. "I've wanted to do this since the first time I saw you," he whispered as he curled more strands around his fingers. It was electrifying. He felt the butterflies in his tummy that Nicole had described to him once as he ran the fingers of his right hand lightly along Amanda's perfect collarbone, all the way to her shoulder. Her skin was as soft and warm as he'd imagined, and she trembled at his touch.

She smiled bashfully. "It feels nice." She could feel the energy radiating from him.

Kyle raised his eyes and seemed to drink in every millimeter of her face before coming to rest on her mouth. She found herself looking back at his. It felt to Kyle like there was a giant magnet inside her mouth that he was helpless to resist as it pulled him closer. He was a fish on Amanda's hook, totally at her mercy until she chose to release him. He didn't care. Every nerve in his body was waking up to the energy passing between them, and Amanda wasn't backing off. He had only ever fantasized about this feeling, and had certainly not expected to experience it when he'd climbed from his window earlier on. There was a stirring inside him so intense that he knew no amount of grapefruit, real or imagined, would make it go away.

He cupped Amanda's face, with his hands still holding strands of her hair, and pressed his mouth firmly against hers. He had never dared to kiss her before; she had always been the one to initiate it. She didn't pull away. Did that mean she didn't mind? He continued to follow his feelings. He teased her lips gently with his tongue, as she had done to him before, and he sent every tendril of what he was feeling into her through his kiss. Amanda felt it and trembled. Everything Kyle had never been able to say to her centered into that kiss in a heartbeat and it fell into sync with her own. It was like he was touching her very soul. He reached out with his heart and he knew that she felt no threat, no force, no fear, and that made him happy. As he caressed her with his mouth, he felt Amanda begin to open up to him, but as soon as she snaked her arms around his neck and began to return his kiss, he jolted and his eyes snapped open.

Something inside him collapsed and he suddenly pulled away and stood up in one fast, fluid movement. He stumbled a couple of steps backwards and scanned all around, disoriented and flustered. His retreat was so fast that Amanda had almost fallen over on the sofa. She scrambled to regain her balance.

"Kyle, what's wrong?" she gasped, confused and a little hurt.

Kyle's eyes were wild and his breathing heavy. "I think someone's…" he hesitated, bewildered. "…watching us."

Amanda looked around, bemused, but worried. Now that she knew about Kyle, she couldn't disregard his behavior as merely the idiosyncrasies of a boy genius; she knew his abilities were beyond her comprehension and she trusted him. Kyle's head began to pound. It was disorienting, but not excruciatingly painful like it had been before. His heart was still beating fast and the room was spinning. He stared up at the ceiling and cocked his head from side to side slowly, scanning. He couldn't tell where the feeling was coming from, but it beat down into his brain mercilessly. Things began to vibrate in the room and Amanda grew frightened and jumped to her feet with a squeal. Then Kyle's head snapped down and he spun again, trying to trace the energy signature that was burning into the core of his being. Kyle reeled as the floor seemed to tilt. He reached out and grabbed Amanda's forearms to stop himself falling over, digging his fingers into her skin in desperation.

"Ow! Kyle are you okay?" her voice was shaking. Kyle couldn't focus. "Kyle! Please! You're hurting me!" Amanda cried as his fingers tightened their grip.

Suddenly the door opened and Mrs. Bloom stood on the threshold in her nightclothes. "Amanda? What's the–" her words caught in her throat as her worried eyes took in the scene before her.

Kyle Trager was in her daughter's bedroom in his pajamas, the pants of which did little to hide his state of arousal. He was holding Amanda roughly by the arms, though he seemed not to notice as he continued to sway and stare at the ceiling. Amanda looked over her shoulder at the sound of the door opening, and her heart leapt into her throat as she realized what her mother was going to think.

"Mom, no! It's not what you think! There's something wrong with Kyle!" she tried to defend him.

Mrs. Bloom pursed her lips, partly in terror, but a bigger part in outrage, and took a few steps into the room.

"He was one of Nicole Trager's mental patients, Amanda, _of course_ there's something wrong with him!" she snapped, her eyes never leaving Kyle.

Amanda panicked. "Please, Mom. Listen to me! It really isn't like that!"

Kyle suddenly seemed to come back to reality as his eyes fell on Mrs. Bloom. He released Amanda's arms immediately and stared down at his own hands then below them at his erection. Looking back up at Mrs. Bloom's horrified face, he grimaced as he felt her thoughts crash into him. It took his breath away and he grunted as he braced himself. With a final glance at Amanda he stumbled from the room. Everything stopped shaking the instant he left.

"It's not what you think!" Amanda screamed at her mother as she pushed past her in pursuit of Kyle. "And if you call the police I'll never forgive you!"

Mrs. Bloom stood in shock, unsure whether what she'd just witnessed had been a nightmare during which she'd sleepwalked into Amanda's room.

oooOooo

Kyle burst from the house and half fell down the porch steps into the front yard. He spun slowly, scanning, reaching out with his mind, trying to pinpoint the source of the energy he felt flooding into him. Someone was inside his mind. Only Jessi could get inside his mind, he told himself. "Jessi?" he called out, scanning the immediate boundaries. Where was she? Then Amanda was there, walking up to him.

"Kyle what's going on?" She took his hand, a fearful look on her face as she also looked around nervously.

As soon as she touched him the channels in Kyle's mind burst open and feelings rushed into him from every angle. He cried out and resisted the urge to let his legs go from under him as he struggled to stop it all spinning totally out of control. He didn't want to frighten Amanda, but more than anything he didn't want to hurt her. He channeled all his energy into locking onto the source of the energy signature that was playing havoc with his mind. He was not going to let Jessi get away from him again.

Suddenly there it was, hovering above him against the dawn sky! He locked onto the rippling ribbon of energy and followed it as it spiraled down and around. His eyes widened as they came to rest on Amanda. It was her. It was coming from her! Had _Amanda_ somehow managed to trigger something inside him? He probed and found the wall inside his mind had weakened a bit. It couldn't be!

In a final act of desperation, Kyle took Amanda's face gently in his hands and with all the honesty he could muster, he reached out with his mind. He immediately sensed her fear and confusion, though she didn't resist him. Maybe she didn't sense him. Maybe he was wrong about the energy signature; after all, his mind was chaotic. He looked at Amanda and tested their connection as he focused his feelings and sent them towards her. He had hoped to send love, gentleness and trust, but all he was feeling at that moment was dizziness, confusion and fear for her safety. He felt her heart rate change and she began to respond, sending back her own version of the same feelings towards him. It _was_ coming from Amanda, though he was certain she didn't realize it.

Suddenly Jessi's words from his encounter with her earlier on rang in his ears: _It's interesting how much power Amanda has over you._

"What have I done?" he said out loud, as his hands dropped away from Amanda's face. He took several steps backwards. He thought he saw her mouth moving, but he couldn't hear what she was saying.

Then his heart almost stopped in his chest as he sucked in a huge gasp. His encounter with Jessi was all falling into place. Jessi already knew what Kyle had only just discovered for himself! His ultimate vulnerability was his love for Amanda, because his feelings for her were the most intense. If Jessi told Madacorp that Amanda was somehow key to accessing whatever was behind Kyle's firewall Amanda would be in terrible danger.

Remembering Jessi's final words made his blood run cold: _If you really want to help me, follow your heart. _He held his head as everything inside him shifted to within a few degrees of insanity. Following his own stupid feelings had put Amanda in the worst danger of all: Jessi.

The hardest lesson came back to haunt him; he obviously hadn't learned it well enough.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Fallout)_


	22. Fallout

The Tragers awaken to panic.  
(07Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Confessions_)

* * *

Chapter 22:  
**Fallout**

Nicole woke with a start and sat up in bed, her heart pounding. It had been a troubled night where she and Stephen had been in and out of sleep, worrying and processing what they had learned about Kyle. She squinted at her clock: five-thirteen. Too early to get up, she thought to herself, and snuggled into Stephen's side. She wished she could fall straight back into sleep before any coherent thoughts came into her mind. She longed for the comfort of oblivion.

It wasn't to be, however. Just as she felt her breathing starting to deepen, she became aware of a ringing sound. It sounded like a cell phone, but not a ring-tone she recognized. It was coming from somewhere in the house and it bothered her enough to wake Stephen. As Nicole slipped on her housecoat and a pair of light slippers, Stephen poked his head around the bedroom door.

"It's coming from downstairs," he whispered over his shoulder.

He grabbed the baseball bat he kept just under his side of the bed before they both left the room. They had just reached the top of the staircase when the ringing stopped. There was no movement at all from downstairs; in fact, the house seemed eerily quiet. Both were wide-awake, so accepting that there was going to be no more sleep for them this night, they agreed to go downstairs for some coffee.

"You first," urged Nicole quietly, prodding Stephen in the back.

He nodded and checked his grip on the bat. After he'd gone down two or three steps, Nicole followed. They had just reached the bottom when the ringing started again, causing them both to jump and Nicole to hang onto the back of Stephen's T-shirt. The ringing was coming from the lounge.

"Declan's phone!" they both said in unison, watching each other visibly relax.

"I'll get the coffee going," Stephen whispered, resting the baseball bat on his shoulder and marching quietly off down the hall to the kitchen like he was stepping up to the plate.

Nicole, meanwhile, tiptoed quickly into the lounge. Declan was snoring gently, sprawled across the sofa in a deep sleep, still clothed and covered in the grime from his ordeal in the forest. He must have been exhausted, Nicole mused as she picked up the phone from the nearby coffee table. A number flashed. She thought maybe it was Declan's father and that he might be worried.

"Hello?" she inquired in a whisper, keeping an eye on Declan, hoping not to wake him.

There was a slight pause before, "Mrs. Trager?"

"Yes," Nicole looked up when she thought she recognized the voice.

"It's Tom Foss. Where's Declan?" he never was one to beat around the bush.

Nicole again looked down at Declan. "Sleeping, like most people are this time of the morning."

Foss said, "Look, I'm sorry it's so early, but is your burglar alarm activated?"

"Excuse me?" said Nicole, shocked by the sudden change of subject.

"Your house alarm. Is it activated?" he repeated.

Nicole walked to the hall and saw the characteristic lights blinking on one of the detectors. "Yes," she replied, growing concerned. "Is there a problem?"

Foss' voice softened. "No, nothing like that. It's just that I didn't want Declan setting it off accidentally when he opened the front door."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not with you," Nicole stated, puzzled, wondering why Declan would be opening the front door.

Foss sighed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Trager. I'm outside your house. I told Declan I'd catch up with him and Kyle. I'm a little late…or early, whichever you prefer."

Nicole sagged with relief and almost laughed. "Oh! I see! You'll have to give me a minute to sort out the alarm."

"That's not a problem," Foss said politely and clicked off.

Nicole sighed and placed Declan's cell back where she had found it before going to the kitchen to get Stephen to deal with the alarm. He rolled his eyes.

"So much for us enjoying a bit of quiet before the storm!" He kissed Nicole lightly on the cheek and left the kitchen while Nicole took over the cups and coffee maker.

A couple of minutes later, Stephen returned with Tom Foss in tow. Nicole noticed that Foss was dressed in clean clothes and seemed well groomed, considering that he, Kyle and Declan had all been in a wet forest a few hours before. It was clear that either Kyle had been lying, which she doubted, or Foss had stopped somewhere to freshen himself up. He looked rather embarrassed as he nodded a greeting.

"Tom," Nicole nodded back. "Good morning. We weren't expecting you quite so…early. Were you out there long?"

"I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Trager," Foss sounded uncomfortable. "And no, I only arrived a little whi–"

"Please," she interrupted. "Call me Nicole."

"Nicole," Foss corrected himself.

"And call me Stephen," Stephen added, meeting Foss' eyes squarely.

It seemed to Nicole that Foss didn't quite know where to look next. He was like a coiled spring. It was obvious the man wasn't used to social situations, and this one was certainly not the usual kind. "Coffee?" she asked him, placing another cup on the counter.

Foss actually broke an almost-smile. "Thank you. That's kind of you."

The three of them took their coffee and walked to the breakfast table. Stephen offered to take Foss' jacket, but he declined and Nicole caught a flash of a shoulder holster as he bent to take his seat. She looked at Stephen, who had obviously seen the same thing. There was an awkward silence. Nicole needed to break it; she had questions for Mr. Tom Foss.

"Tom…" she began. "Why–"

"How's Kyle?" Foss interrupted her, showing what appeared to be genuine concern.

She glanced at Stephen and tried to tell herself not to lose her temper as she answered, "Honestly? Physically, he's sore and exhausted. Mentally, he's confused, wracked with guilt, and scared to death. But that's hardly surprising really, is it?"

Foss couldn't mistake the ice at the edges of her tone; he cupped his hands round his coffee as if that would add a bit of warmth. "Look, I realize this has all been difficult to take in," he said quietly. "But you need to know that everything I've done has been to protect Kyle."

"Does that include firing darts filled with God only knows what into his _back_?" Nicole couldn't help herself.

Foss held himself in check. He was trained to deal with worse than maternal anger. Stephen put his hand on Nicole's arm and shot her a look that told her to calm down. He knew they needed more information, but this was not the way. The two of them had talked about things in the night and had agreed not to recriminate anyone for anything that had happened up to this point. It was too bizarre a situation to try to justify actions and to expect sensible explanations; there were no precedents here to judge anyone by, and no amount of outrage and accusatory finger-pointing would change anything that had already happened. For Kyle's sake they needed to deal with the present, not the past.

"I'm sorry, Stephen," Nicole winced apologetically then looked back at Foss. "He's _our_ responsibility. You had no right to do that to him! He's just a boy!" Her voice was shaking.

Foss steeled himself, leaned in very slightly and kept his voice menacingly low. "Mrs. Trager. Nicole. You need to understand this very clearly: Kyle is not'just a boy'. He is a very important boy. He is legally your responsibility only because I made it that way. Right now he seems to be going through some…changes…and the situation we were in yesterday called for immediate, and drastic, action. I regret using force, but if I hadn't, Kyle wouldn't be tucked up in his bed right now; he would be running around in the forest somewhere being hunted down by people who see him only as an asset to be exploited. They will do terrible things if they get hold of him, and when he's no use to them anymore, he'll be 'decommissioned'." He leaned in a fraction further. "In layman's terms, that means he'll be tortured, used, and terminated." He leaned back and studied both of the Tragers.

Nicole felt herself flinching at Foss' words. She realized that he was right, of course, and it was agonizingly distressing to hear; but still she was outraged. She couldn't bear the thought of Kyle, or _any_ child, being shot at and drugged, no matter what the reason – certainly not without proper consultation. She wondered how Foss could do it. She looked into his eyes. It was disturbing to her psychologist's mind that she couldn't read him.

It seemed Foss could read her, however. "I do what has to be done."

Psychologist gave in to mother, and Nicole broke eye contact. "I'd better go check on Kyle," she said, getting out of her seat. "He was still awake at 3 a.m. fretting over Jessi." She laid a hand on Stephen's shoulder and gave Foss a final glance as she left the kitchen. He followed her with his eyes until she turned towards Kyle's room.

"She's just scared, and upset," Stephen said stiffly, only just managing to resist the temptation to add his own opinions to the brew.

Foss eyed him over the rim of his cup. "It's understandable," he said and swallowed a mouthful of coffee. "I'm sorry if I've made it worse, but I really am not the enemy here."

There was a pause while Stephen sipped his own coffee and considered that. "So," he began. "What exactly did you mean when you said it seems that Kyle is going through some changes?"

Foss took a breath and thought a moment, trying to find a way of wording it. "I'm not exactly sure what's happened to him, or when, or how, but I believe Kyle may be struggling with a new level of ability," he took another sip of coffee. "That he can't yet control."

Stephen felt a chill run down his spine as he remembered the previous night's incident. "You mean like a_…'causing everything to shake violently and throwing a glass of water across three rooms without moving a muscle'_ kind of ability?"

Foss' eyes widened as he placed his cup back on the table. He nodded. Just then Nicole came back into the kitchen, her eyes worried and face pale. Stephen stood up; he knew every one of his wife's expressions, and this one meant there was a problem.

"Nicole, what is it? Is Kyle okay?" Stephen asked.

She frowned. "He's not in his room!"

Foss was up in an instant. He should have known this would happen! Why did Declan have to go against his instructions every time? He should have left Kyle secured in the blankets like he was told until Foss got back. He fought back his own temptation to scream with frustration.

"Let's not panic," Stephen said. "He might be upstairs in the bathroom, or with Josh or Lori. Why don't you go check?" Stephen figured giving Nicole a job to do would focus her mind. She was always jumpy about Kyle these days.

Nicole took a deep breath and nodded. To ease her mind, she revisited the lounge to make sure Kyle hadn't sneaked in there to talk with Declan and fallen asleep on the other sofa. Nothing. Upstairs, she checked the bathroom, raking the shower curtain back to inspect the tub. Not there either. She even checked her en suite to make sure. No Kyle. Her heart began to race. Something wasn't right; she could feel it. She opened Josh's door.

"Josh, honey, have you seen Kyle?" she asked her sleepy son, shaking him gently.

Josh groaned, opened his eyes and saw the worry on his mother's face. "Kyle? No, why?"

Nicole rolled her eyes and turned to rush towards Lori's room. Josh got out of bed and followed her, asking what the matter was. Nicole ignored him as she opened Lori's door and repeated her question. Lori was already half awake and was leaning on her elbow facing towards the door. She shook her head, asking the same question as Josh.

"Kyle's gone," Nicole said with a definite tone of frustration.

"Not again," Josh whined and raked his hair back with his hand so that it stood up even more than it already had been.

"Are you sure?" Lori murmured as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat there, rigid. Her guilt began to surface behind her eyes.

Nicole nodded. Then her eyes widened. "My office!" She raced from the room and back downstairs to the little room opposite Kyle's. She heard Josh and Lori pounding down the stairs as she turned the handle.

Closing her eyes in silent prayer, she flung the door open. Empty. She sighed heavily in defeat. Turning to return to the kitchen, she decided to check Kyle's room once more, just in case. She willed him to be in there as she stepped inside. He wasn't, but a small tapping noise caught her attention. Her eyes went to the window. How had she not noticed it before? She went over to it, remembering the last time she'd seen Kyle climbing through it. She flexed it open, checked the latch then closed it, locking it firmly back into place. As she exited the room, she met with Declan in the hallway by the kitchen door. Without saying a word, she guided him in.

Still disoriented, Declan looked at everyone standing around in their nightclothes. Then Foss stepped out from behind Stephen. Declan blinked, wondering if he was hallucinating.

"What's going on?" he croaked.

Nicole answered several questions at once by saying, with despondent resignation in her voice, "Kyle went out through his window."

Everyone grew restless then Stephen piped up, "But the alarm was on."

Lori, who was leaning against the back door opening a bottle of water, rolled her eyes. "Dad, this is _Kyle_ we're talking about. He cracked the code to that ages ago." She figured confessing to that now wouldn't get Kyle into more trouble than he had already experienced.

"He did?" Josh interjected. "How come I didn't know about that?" Lori shot him a look that said: _shut up, dork, this is serious_. Josh glanced at Tom Foss. "I guess that's how he was able to sneak off to his training sessions with you, huh?" Josh couldn't suppress a slight grin as he looked Foss up and down and said to himself, "That is so cool."

Foss looked surprised. He hadn't figured on Kyle having told them quite so much so soon; after all, the last time he'd seen Kyle he was unconscious on the back seat of Declan's car. The boy never failed to amaze him.

"So, where do you suppose he's gone this time?" It was Josh again, watching Foss closely.

Foss shrugged, and looked at Stephen, who looked at Nicole. She flopped into her chair at the breakfast table and sighed. "I don't know." She leaned her elbow on the table and supported her head. "I really don't know."

"I do," said Lori. She had heard a noise out on the sun deck and peeked through the drapes that covered the whole line of windows, which were glowing with the early morning sun. She pulled open the door and everyone crowded round.

There, out on the breakfast terrace, was Kyle, barefoot and dressed in his pajamas. He was leaning over some potted plants with his back to everyone, but straightened when he heard the door open. He turned and didn't seem in the least surprised to find everyone watching him. He dragged the back of his left hand across his mouth, smearing the blood from a split lip across his cheek. He looked down at his hand, somewhat disoriented, and stepped unsteadily towards the door.

"I was with Amanda," he said flatly, answering the question before anyone could ask it. He looked Lori squarely in the eye and felt her freeze like a rabbit caught in the headlights. As he scanned all the faces that were staring dumbly at him, he tried to find one that didn't have a hundred questions written on it; he simply couldn't cope with questions right now, because he had so few answers. Having failed to find what he was looking for, he sniffed and dabbed again at his lip as he began uncharacteristically elbowing past everyone in the doorway to get into the kitchen. Nicole grabbed his arm as he passed her and he stopped in his tracks.

"I'm sorry, Nicole," he said pathetically. "I threw up on one of your plants."

She gasped, staring at his swollen lip. "Kyle, what happened to you?"

He didn't even meet her eyes, simply stared out into the hall straight ahead as he shook her hand off his arm and said bitterly, "Mrs. Bloom hit me."

Lori gasped and held her hand over her mouth in horror. Kyle hurriedly exited the kitchen without turning back. They all stood in shock until they heard his door slam.

"Kyle!" Nicole called and went to follow. She had never seen Kyle behave like that before. Lori took a few steps forward.

"Mom, NO!" She said, a little too loudly before lowering her tone. "It's okay. Maybe we should just leave him alone for a while. Don't forget, Amanda's leaving for New York soon."

She felt terrible guilt rising; it was obvious things between Kyle and Amanda hadn't gone so well. Nicole looked at Lori, and Lori winced and dipped her head slightly, pleading with her eyes for her mom not to ask any questions in front of everybody. Nicole pursed her lips as she read the message in Lori's eyes and shot her one back that said: _I expect you to tell me what's going on at the earliest opportunity, young lady._

"Who's Amanda?" It was Foss; everyone looked at him, except for Nicole, whose eyes had drifted back towards the hallway.

"Kyle's girlfriend," Nicole said absently, still perplexed by Kyle's behavior.

Foss rolled his eyes, exasperated. "_Girlfriend_?" Things seemed to be getting more complicated by the minute. "Since when?"

It was Josh who answered. "In here," he patted his breastbone to illustrate, "like, since the day Mom brought him home. In actuality, only a few weeks. A hopeless case of falling for the girl next door."

Foss looked at Stephen, who nodded confirmation.

"So who's Mrs. Bloom?" was Foss' next question.

"Amanda's mother," Nicole cut in with a look of utter disbelief on her face.

Foss frowned. He was probably the only one in the room who realized the seriousness of what had just occurred. No one had ever managed to hit Kyle before; his reflexes were too fast. If this Mrs. Bloom had been able to split his lip, it meant that Kyle hadn't been aware of it coming. And that worried Foss. It worried him enormously.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Lacunas)_


	23. Lacunas

Nicole makes a diagnosis.  
(10Jan08)

[If you're not sure what a _lacuna_ is, it's a missing portion, gap, break, hiatus etc.]

(Previous chapter_: Fallout_)

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Chapter 23:  
**Lacunas**

Kyle lay in his tub, on his side, and curled into the smallest ball he could manage. He was shivering and curling up helped. He placed his arms protectively over his head, which helped to block out the morning light, though it did little to shield him against the animated voices he could hear coming at him from outside his room, or the bombardment of their mixed emotions. Hypersensitivity was rife inside his brain, and yet his body felt strangely numb, apart from his bleeding lip, of course, which set the left side of his face throbbing. Slight nausea rolled around inside, too, but he had significantly relieved that on Nicole's potted yucca on the sundeck. The thing Kyle found most difficult to deal with at this point, however, was the feeling that a big chunk of him was missing.

He couldn't identify the source of the feeling, only that it was like an emotional imprint in his memory of something that was incomplete or detached somehow. Something that should be there but wasn't. It was significantly different to the feeling he'd had when he first came to live with the Tragers; at that time he did not have any memories at all. No, this was very different, and he had first become aware of it just before he'd kissed Amanda in her bedroom. He tried to access his holographic memory in the hope that it would help, but it threw him out. What was happening to him? He felt like he was losing his mind. Or had he already lost it? Like a Swiss cheese, he felt full of holes and gaps and…well, interrupted.

He concentrated as much energy as he could into blocking everything out, but sighed loudly as his usual abilities seemed to slip away from his control. Something had happened to him at Amanda's house, but now he couldn't even remember what it was. The only evidence that there had been an incident at all was the painful cut on his lower lip. He probed it gently with his tongue and tasted the metallic flavor of his own blood. Unable to still the cacophony in his head, Kyle remembered what Nicole had taught him to do when he felt overwhelmed. Or had it been Foss who taught him that? He couldn't recall the details, but nevertheless, he concentrated on slowing down his breathing. Mind over matter. The effort it took was exhausting, but soon he was aware of everything spinning further and further away until all that was left was his heartbeat. Or was it Amanda's? He couldn't tell.

He didn't know how long he'd been lying there before the heartbeat receded and he became aware of someone else in his room. He heard them place something on his desk then sit on the edge of his tub. His muddled senses couldn't tell him who it was, or whether they meant him harm. He didn't really care.

"Kyle, look at me," Nicole said quietly. She could tell he wasn't asleep, but neither was he responsive.

"Amanda?" Kyle inquired drowsily.

Nicole frowned. "No, honey, it's Nicole. Look at me."

She gazed down at him curled up in his tub, facing her, and images of children developing in tanks flashed into her mind. Of all the things Kyle had told them about his origins, she had found that image the most disturbing. She recoiled inwardly and reminded herself that Kyle had no memory of being inside the tank other than the feeling of security he experienced being in his tub. Nicole had been pretty certain that she would find him curled up in here after whatever had happened, but part of her had been worried that he might try to escape through the window again. She was worried about him, period. Kyle groaned as she lifted his left arm away from his face. He flinched at the sudden light and pulled it back over his head.

"I need to check you over," Nicole persisted.

Nobody knew exactly what had happened to him except that Amanda's mother had apparently hit him. Both Stephen and Tom Foss, though sharing Nicole's concern, had dissuaded her from marching next door with guns blazing. Things needed to cool down first, and they didn't want to draw too much attention; things were dangerous at the moment. She saw the sense in that. Everyone agreed that there had to be a logical explanation for the incident, because Carol Bloom was not the sort of person who would solve problems with violence; underneath her prickly exterior she was, in fact, a very cultured and decent woman.

The death of her husband had, of course, affected her deeply, and she had withdrawn considerably into herself through the duration of his illness and beyond; but she had always been a polite and considerate neighbor before that. Once Nicole had allowed herself to think about what might have happened next door, she concluded that Carol must have mistaken Kyle for a prowler; after all, it happened in the early hours of the morning, and the Blooms had been victims of a break-in not too long ago. Anyway, Nicole had no doubts that they would be hearing from Carol Bloom about Kyle's 'inappropriate behavior' at some point; it wouldn't be the first time. Nicole shook herself and returned to the task in hand.

"Come on, Kyle," she urged, this time more firmly, inwardly praying she wouldn't need to call an ambulance. "Don't make me get Stephen and Tom to lift you."

This time Kyle didn't resist as Nicole lifted his arm away from his head. He turned his face slowly towards the light and squinted up at her as he opened his eyes. He noticed that she was no longer in her nightclothes. How long had he been lying here? The gaps in his mind seemed to be everywhere. Nicole suppressed a gasp, instead pursing her lips and frowning at the sight of Kyle's face. The split in his lip had stopped bleeding, but blood had encrusted around the wound and across his chin and left cheek. He was a mess, but from what she could see the wound wasn't too serious. She surmised that it was more likely to be an emotional wound he was suffering with.

She reached down and offered her arm as support, urging him to sit up. Kyle slipped his hand around her arm and pulled himself up with some difficulty. His body felt stiff and disjointed, and he felt cold as he uncurled himself. It was then he realized his comforter was flung over the end of the tub. Nicole plumped his pillow and helped him to recline and lean his head against the back of the tub. She grabbed the cover and tucked it around his body in the hope it would stop him shivering. She scanned his face with a frown on her own.

She went over to the desk where Kyle noticed a tray of items, steam emanating from a large bowl. Nicole lifted the tray and carefully placed it on the floor next to her chair, bent down and dipped a facecloth into the steaming water. She sat up, put her left hand on Kyle's forehead then smoothed his hair back. He flinched as the warm cloth made contact with his skin, but never took his eyes off Nicole's face. After the first couple of strokes, he became used to the sensation, but as she wiped nearer his wound, he started to feel pain; the skin was tender on his chin near the left corner of his mouth. Nicole noticed that under the blood smears were the red beginnings of light bruising. There was minimal swelling, so she made the assumption that this was the result of a hard slap more than a punch; not that she was excusing the incident. She bent down to rinse the cloth then began very gingerly dabbing the wound itself while bracing Kyle's head with her other hand. It hurt and he pushed her hand away with a whimper.

"I'm sorry," Nicole crooned. "But it needs to be cleaned."

Kyle looked at her for a moment before dropping his hand. He absently licked his lips and tasted the water; it was salty, like seawater. Something stirred in the depths of his mind then sank back down again. Nicole thought she saw something in his eyes then, but it was fleeting. She finished with the cloth after wiping both his hands then dropped it onto the tray. She bent down and retrieved a cotton pad and some antiseptic in a bottle. The sharp stinging brought tears to Kyle's eyes and he pushed her hand away so suddenly that she dropped the bottle into his lap. It worried Nicole that he simply stared at it emptying its contents. Had that been any other time, Kyle's amazing reflexes would have ensured he caught the bottle before it even reached his lap. She retrieved it herself before too much was spilled. Kyle was definitely not himself, but then he hadn't been since the moment he returned from his quest to find Jessi.

Nicole put everything on the tray and sat back observing him. He hadn't taken his eyes from her face, except to watch the antiseptic in his lap. Although he was obviously exhausted, his expression was worryingly blank. It was also strange that he hadn't spoken. Once again, Nicole found her mind winding back to when he had been like an infant, only then he hadn't had such dullness in his eyes; they had always remained bright, even when he was upset or tired. She found herself using the same coaxing tone she had always used back then.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened? Why you were wandering around outside? Why Mrs. Bloom hit you?" Nicole asked very softly.

Kyle's eyes moved from her face and he tilted his head slightly in the way Nicole knew to be indicative of him processing something in his mind. He frowned and seemed to be having some difficulty.

"It's not clear," he finally spoke. His brow creased as he thought a bit more. "I needed to talk to Amanda…I kissed her," he said candidly. "Then her mom was there." The truth was he really couldn't remember how it had happened, but he did remember Mrs. Bloom striking him with the back of her hand. He remembered the sound most of all; a sickening click as a ring on her hand had engaged with his mouth, compressing his lip against his teeth. He didn't think she had hit him all that hard, but the impact had stunned them both. He didn't remember ever having been hit like that before. Something nagged at his mind. Was that important? He sighed, and continued to look into Nicole's eyes. "She hit me. I came home. That was all."

Only that wasn't all for Kyle. Nicole could tell he was deeply troubled, and once again she was reminded of the days when he had suffered from gaps in his memories. The violence he had witnessed between Professor Kern and Tom Foss, which Nicole now knew to be his first real memories, had caused Kyle to bury the experience deep in his subconscious. When Kyle had first started seeing the flashbacks, Nicole had initially thought them to be nightmares, but Kyle himself had insisted they were different. He could tell the difference, she knew that without a doubt. Having observed him back then was useful in giving her clues as to what was troubling him now. Maybe this was similar, and if it were then it was a totally normal human reaction to trauma. She began to form a theory that at least partially explained his current strange behavior, and it had nothing particularly to do with his abilities, although one had to change the standard formula when applying it to Kyle. She swept his hair back again.

"I'll be right back," she said, picking up the tray.

Kyle's eyes followed her to the door. "Nicole?" he said quietly. "Everything will be okay."

She looked at him.

"Won't it," he finished, his tone somewhere between a statement of reassurance and a question.

She smiled warmly at him before leaving the room.

oooOooo

Outside his door she dropped the smile and swallowed down her anger at the injustice of life. Despite his phenomenal physical strength, Kyle had never so much as raised a finger to hurt anyone, so why were there people out there who wanted to hurt him, or worse? Foss, Carol Bloom, Madacorp, Jessi, and whomever else – they were all to blame for Kyle's current predicament. She had seen fear many times in his eyes, but since Declan brought him back from the forest she had seen more than that. She saw that Kyle had, indeed, spent his whole short life in fear of discovering the truth about himself; of being forced away from the security he had found in this family. He trusted everyone until they gave him reason not to. What an incredible human being he was to have handed himself over to the Petersons, total strangers, in order to protect his loved ones.

Her thoughts darkened as she wondered what sacrifices he was making right now. She could tell he was deteriorating emotionally, spiraling downwards, unable to pick himself up like he usually did. What was he hiding? Psychologist's training whispered into her ear and maternal instinct screamed at her. But it was a basic knowledge of first aid that would enable her to help him in the short term. The rest would have to wait.

She entered the kitchen where Foss and Stephen were engaged in an animated discussion. She noticed they were now drinking instant coffee; so many people having had so little sleep had exhausted the supply of the fresh stuff. She caught the words 'Madacorp' and 'chair' before they stopped talking and looked at her. She felt uncomfortable.

"I'm just making tea for Kyle," she said, checking to see if the kettle was still warm. Fortunately it was.

"How is he?" Stephen inquired.

"Well, the injury isn't so bad. Your classic backhander to the face," she replied.

An uncomfortable look passed between the two men that told Nicole they knew what it felt like. She raised her eyebrows and they shifted in their seats simultaneously. It would have been amusing if the situation were different. Nicole held them in her gaze for a moment longer before returning to what she was doing.

"He's also suffering from…let me see, where do I start?" she said with a healthy dose of frustration. "Confusion, nausea, listlessness, memory loss, detachment, lack of concentration, insomnia –"

"You mean _shock_," Foss interrupted. Stephen looked at him, as did Nicole and her mouth dropped open.

"Yes. And probably low blood sugar, too," she said dumping three heaped spoonfuls of sugar into the tea.

"He's been through a lot," Foss stated the obvious.

Nicole shot him a look that said _you don't say._ There was a long pause. She sighed. "Where is everybody?" she asked, changing the subject and looking around.

"Lori's upstairs in her room. Josh was pacing outside Kyle's room so much I had to send him upstairs, too, and Declan's in the shower…I think," Stephen answered matter-of-factly, then frowned, wondering if he'd missed anyone out.

"Well, I'll just finish off with Kyle then I'll make breakfast, although it'll be more like lunch by then," Nicole sighed, stirring the newly made tea.

Stephen seemed to like that idea, and clapped Foss on the shoulder. "We'll give you a hand, won't we, Tom?" Foss' eyes grew wide as he looked back at Stephen.

"Thanks, I'll hold you to that," Nicole replied, suppressing her amusement, as she left with the tea. Tom Foss certainly was out of his comfort zone!

oooOooo

As Nicole entered Kyle's room, she noticed that his head had lolled to the side and his eyes were closed. Her concern grew. The last thing she wanted was for him to slip into unconsciousness.

"Kyle?" she called.

"Yes?" he cried as he jumped and his eyes snapped open, unfocused.

Relief flooded into Nicole and she took her seat by the tub.

"Here, sit up. I've brought you some tea. I want you to drink it all, it'll make you feel a bit better," she murmured. "I bet you haven't eaten a bite since breakfast yesterday."

"Actually, I had a chocolate milk in a diner with…" he blinked, "Jessi." He winced, because saying the words was painful. Was it that speaking stretched his sore lip, or was it something else? He didn't know where that memory had come from. He groaned into a sitting position and took the cup from Nicole with shaking hands. It wasn't as hot as he'd imagined it to be, and the pungent smell that invaded his nostrils made him wrinkle his nose. "What is it?" he asked as his stomach rolled.

"Mother Trager's Secret Recipe," Nicole announced. "Great for relieving nausea and anxiety." Kyle's eyes were wide. "Actually, it's peppermint tea from the supermarket. And there's plenty of sugar in it to pep up those flagging energy reserves." She winked at him. "There weren't any Sour Patch Kids to hand."

For once, Kyle didn't think he could stomach any of those; just the thought made his stomach gurgle unhappily.

"The tea," Nicole urged. "I won't stop nagging until you've drunk it all."

Kyle sipped the pungent liquid and felt it course its way down his throat. It was difficult to drink with a sore lip, but once he developed a technique, he found the sweet, cool-yet-burning liquid to be very soothing. He drained the cup and handed it back to Nicole.

"Good?" she asked.

Kyle nodded. He leaned back in the tub and burped, apologizing with his eyes. He was surprised to feel a warmth beginning to radiate outwards from his stomach and it loosened the tightness in his chest. "I think I feel a bit better," he said in amazement after a few moments, a little smile beginning to break across his face.

"Works every time," Nicole beamed. "Now you just lie here in the peace and quiet. I'm going to make preparations for feeding everyone else before they start gnawing on each other's limbs." As she made a move to leave, she noticed Kyle's frown. "It's just an – "

"Expression," he finished, and his face fell as tears that surprised even himself welled up from somewhere deep inside.

She laid a hand on his forehead and nodded that she understood. "I know you're scared, Kyle. We _all_ are. But we'll get through this. Just like we always do." She trailed her hand lightly across his cheek. "I'll check on you in a little while. In the meantime, if you need anything, just call and someone will come. I promise. For now, just concentrate on getting better." She slipped from the room.

Kyle thought about her words: _concentrate on getting better_. He already felt more alert, and he guessed the sugar had helped. So he concentrated on his breathing, and slowed everything down into that relatively peaceful place he had managed to find not so long ago. There, he found a wonderful memory of Amanda. He concentrated as hard as could manage until the fear in his mind was replaced by something else. Something entirely new.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Misunderstandings_)


	24. Misunderstandings

**AUTHOR'S NOTES****:**

Here's the latest offering. I'm hoping to update again tomorrow. Hope you like it. Don't worry, there's some proper action coming up in a couple of chapters! (13Jan08)

Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. You're all amazing.

(Previous chapter: _Lacunas_)

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Chapter 24:  
**Misunderstandings**

The Trager kitchen was a hive of activity. Nicole had given everyone a job to do. She found that assigning practical tasks was not only a welcome distraction from the complex emotions that had been swirling around, but it brought everyone together toward a common goal: in this case, breakfast. She and Stephen were keen advocates of the reinforcement of family bonds, and mealtimes had always been their focus for it. It encouraged each family member to share; and it was an effective way of ensuring that each acknowledged the existence of the others and to feel involved in their lives. Many times Nicole had dealt with disturbed children whose experience of family life had been a fearful and isolating one. She thought sadly about how much Kyle hadn't been able to share with them over the past year, keeping it all locked up inside, and she hoped with all her heart that he wasn't permanently damaged because of it. She was glad he had confided at least some of his troubles to Declan.

Nicole had been satisfied that Kyle was too exhausted in every way to bother leaving the house again, so she had left him to rest, and forbade anyone to disturb him on pain of death. Even Tom Foss seemed to acquiesce to her request without resistance. She smiled to herself as she watched him folding a pile of napkins, noting how he had settled into his task surprisingly well. Nicole looked around as she cooked. Josh had quite taken to interrogating Foss while pouring fruit juices and milk into separate pitchers, asking him questions about Kyle's training and what it was like seeing Kyle at ZZYZX. Foss was open about the training, but clammed up when it came to discussing the boy's life before the Tragers. Nicole had caught moments of the conversation now and then and noticed the discomfort on Foss' face whenever a new question emerged about the top-secret research facility. Stephen joined in their discussions while making toast on an almost industrial scale.

Declan sat at the breakfast bar chopping fruit and placing it in a large bowl. Nicole noticed how he studied Foss' every move, his eyes narrowing at certain moments as though he were suspicious or angry. She knew there was a lot going on inside Declan; it was obvious to her that whatever had happened over the months since Declan's involvement, there was tension between him and Tom Foss. It was also obvious to her that Declan had been traumatised by whatever he had experienced in the woods. It was fascinating to her how people handled trauma so differently. Kyle had collapsed inwardly, whereas Declan seemed to ooze anger and suspicion.

Lori, however, was the one that was concerning Nicole the most, apart from Kyle. Where Josh had accepted what Kyle had told them, and even found it to be somewhat exciting and cool, Lori had been very withdrawn and nervous. Nicole observed her as she wandered in and out of the kitchen gathering crockery and cutlery for setting the dining table. Earlier she had become quite neurotic about whether to set a place for Kyle or not.

Nicole knew her daughter well, and knew that something was troubling her conscience; but she hadn't worked out whether it was to do with Declan or Kyle. Maybe it was both of them, although Lori and Declan seemed to be getting on pretty well; they had spent quite a bit of time in each other's company since Kyle had arrived home, and both seemed to be fairly at ease. Nicole's intuition leaned more \toward Kyle as being the source of Lori's tension. Nicole had been frustrated that she hadn't yet had an opportunity to talk to Lori alone since Kyle had come back from Amanda's. As she placed another pile of pancakes in the oven to keep warm, she decided to tackle that problem now. When Lori returned to fetch more glasses for the table, Nicole grabbed her arm lightly.

"Lori, I need to have a word," she said, picking up a couple of glasses herself and gently guiding Lori out of the kitchen to the far end of the dining room. "You seem a little peaky."

Lori set her load down on the table and said, honestly, "I feel bad for Kyle. I've been so horrible to him. And Amanda." There was no attempt to hide her feelings, and no attempt to squirm out of the mother-daughter chat. That alone was very telling to Nicole. Lori stopped what she was doing and looked up. "Mom, I think it's my fault Mrs. Bloom hit Kyle."

Nicole was surprised by Lori's response and glanced behind her to make sure nobody else was listening. "Do you want to tell me why you think that?" she asked quietly.

Lori looked uncomfortable as she shuffled some knives and forks around on the table in front of her as a welcome distraction. She didn't want anything she said to make things worse than they already were. She sighed and said, "Amanda called me last night. She was worried that Kyle hadn't called her back. Apparently he'd called her while he was with Jessi to ask for her help with something." She paused as Nicole's gaze intensified. "And yes, I know I should've told you, so please, no lecture…But I was really upset about Kyle going after Jessi. I kind of blew off at Amanda and–"

"You let her think Kyle was up to no good with Jessi," Nicole interrupted, hitting the nail squarely on the head. She had worked long enough with teenagers to know a thing or two about their psychology.

Lori nodded, ashamed. "I guess she told her mom and…" Her eyes welled up. "I'm so sorry. I really never meant for anything to happen to Kyle. I was just angry and stupid."

Nicole pursed her lips and drew Lori into a hug. "Oh, Lori." She began to understand how this misunderstanding could have contributed to Kyle's problems. Kyle had presumably been keeping secrets from Amanda, too, which would have exacerbated the girl's insecurity about Jessi.

Lori sniffed into her mother's neck. "Mom, how can I make things better?"

"I think for now the best thing you can do is let things calm down. Maybe when Kyle's feeling a bit better you can talk to him about it," Nicole offered.

"I think he already knows what I did," Lori said sadly, remembering Kyle's pained glare. "I think Amanda must've told her mom and that's why she hit him. I guess after the whole Charlie thing, another boy making a fool of her daughter was just a bit too much to ignore. Especially that it was Kyle."

Nicole had to admit it made sense, and she knew that being rejected by Amanda would devastate Kyle after everything else that had happened. What a mess!

Lori sobbed, "I'm so sorry. I didn't think! I was so mad at Kyle for going after Jessi. I was so mad at Declan for hanging out with her. I was so mad at her for attacking me. I just wanted her…"

"Dead?" Nicole finished the sentence.

Lori crumpled, overwhelmed by her own guilt. "I didn't really mean for anything to happen to her. Or for Kyle and Amanda to break up. And everything that's happened to Kyle is so…horrible. I just made things worse."

Nicole comforted her and led her from the room into the lounge, grabbing the box of tissues from her desk as they passed it. They sat on the couch and Lori cried a while longer before the tears finally stopped. She pulled away from Nicole.

"Mom," she murmured and paused. "Do you think everything will be okay for Kyle?"

"With Amanda?" Nicole asked. "Or in general?"

"All of it," Lori stated.

Nicole squeezed her shoulders and said, as honestly as she could, "I think Kyle needs us all to be strong. He's hurting right now, but he's got lots of reasons to be, hasn't he?"

Lori dabbed at her eyes with another tissue. She nodded before saying, "I'm glad you're a shrink at times like this."

For some reason Nicole found that funny. Remembering all the arguments they'd had in the past whenever Lori felt threatened by Nicole's analytical prowess, the simple irony of Lori's words touched her and she smiled. "Can I have that in writing?"

Lori realised what she had said and rolled her eyes. "Mom! I'm talking about Kyle!" She nudged her mom playfully with her elbow.

"I'm your mother, too," Nicole said softly. "And your shrink if you need me."

Lori hugged her mother. "I'd better go clean my face before we eat."

She left the room and Nicole sat quietly contemplating the situation. She couldn't be annoyed at Lori for being angry or upset about Jessi; that girl had caused a lot of problems for them all. Nicole thought about the fragility of Kyle's feelings when it came to Jessi. Now that she was gone, could Nicole ever bring herself to tell Kyle what she knew? Would it have made any difference to the outcome if she had told Kyle before he climbed from his window yesterday? Jessi was the only other person who would ever be likely to relate to Kyle on matters of origin and ability. Nicole knew that convincing Kyle that Jessi did not have his best interests at heart was a bit of a pointless exercise now; from what Kyle had said, the girl had already betrayed his trust.

Nicole stood and decided to let sleeping dogs lie for the moment; the important thing now was to understand the implications of Kyle's existence, and to keep her family safe. She returned to her kitchen duties.

oooOooo

As everyone sat down to eat a little while later, Nicole noticed that Lori had laid a place for Kyle next to Josh – even though Kyle was still in his room – while Foss and Declan sat on the side of the table usually reserved for Kyle. They all seemed highly conscious of the empty space at the table. Before everyone began to help themselves to the food, Stephen spoke.

"I know we've all been thinking about everything we've learned since yesterday," he said. "But I would like to forget the bad stuff for a little while. I propose that we enjoy breakfast before we start discussing it all." He made a point of looking at Tom Foss. Foss gave nothing away on his face, but nodded his agreement. Nicole smiled fondly across the table at Stephen.

"I agree," she said. "We all need some time out. And thank you all for pitching in to help with the meal." Nicole made a point of looking at Foss also. This time his face showed fleeting embarrassment before he nodded. He caught Declan's eye and his eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. "Eat!" Nicole ordered.

Breakfast began in earnest with the clatter of dishes and the general noises of six hungry people enjoying a meal. To Stephen and Nicole's delight, nobody mentioned Madacorp, ZZYZX or anything else to do with Kyle's dreadful situation. The mood lightened, and even Tom Foss began to relax more than usual. His face broke into a smile several times, usually when Josh made a comment about Stephen's gaming skills – or lack of them – or made fun of Lori. Even Declan and Lori were able to smile at each other. It made Nicole feel better, though deep inside she knew that things were serious and scary.

They had been eating for some time when suddenly everyone went quiet, almost in mid-sentence, and Lori clapped a hand over her mouth as she gasped. Nicole realised that everyone was looking at something behind her and she felt nervous as she followed each gaze and turned to her left. There, pale but upright, was Kyle dressed in jeans and a fresh T-shirt. She jumped with surprise. His gaze swept over everyone seated at the table, finally landing on Nicole. She watched his brow crease then realised she was staring with her mouth open. She stood up, amazed at what she was seeing, not sure that she was seeing it at all.

Kyle seemed puzzled as he said, looking into Nicole's wide eyes, "I feel strange, but a bit better. I think maybe I need some more of your special tea."

Before Nicole could respond, Declan blurted what everyone was thinking: "Oh my God, Kyle, what happened to your face?"

"Yeah, man," Josh contributed. "A couple of hours ago you looked like a slasher movie victim!"

Kyle was confused as he looked away from Nicole to Declan to Josh. "You know what happened. I told you. Mrs. Bloom hit me."

Nicole guided Kyle to his place at the table. He felt self-conscious as everyone's eyes bored into him. He looked back at Nicole for reassurance, but found her still speechless and staring at his mouth.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked outright, concern growing inside him.

Josh picked up the nearest large serving spoon and wiped it clean on a napkin. He handed it to Kyle with the bowl inverted and said, "See for yourself."

Kyle frowned and took the spoon. He looked down and caught sight of his reflection. His eyes widened as he drew the spoon closer. His wounded lip had almost completely healed. There was just the tiniest mark where it had been and a small patch of purple bruising was the only evidence of there having being any injury at all. Kyle touched his fingers to his face and raised his eyes to find six pairs looking back at him.

"What did you do?" It was Foss, equally in awe as everyone else.

"You mean it wasn't the tea?" Kyle asked in a small, worried voice.

Foss pursed his lips as though to say _don't be so ridiculous_! Kyle dropped the spoon onto his plate resulting in an ear-splitting clatter. He winced and covered his ears, not taking his eyes off Foss.

"So what did you do?" Foss repeated, more firmly than before.

There was a moment when Kyle's confusion threatened to make him run from the room, but he swallowed down his panic and answered, "I…I don't know." Then he looked at Nicole and murmured, "I drank the tea and concentrated on getting better. I did what you said."

Nicole couldn't hide her surprise and gasped. Kyle suddenly felt frightened. They were all looking at him like he was some sort of monster; it was one of the things he had always dreaded would happen once they knew the truth about him. He felt tears beginning to form behind his eyes and willed himself not to cry. There was a horrible pause.

"Wow! That's so cool," Josh piped up. Kyle whipped his gaze to his right and found Josh grinning at him. "She didn't make you drink that awful peppermint stuff did she?" Josh quipped as he poured Kyle some orange juice.

Just then the doorbell rang. Without so much as a blink, Foss was up and signalling silently for Declan to go into the lounge opposite, and for Stephen to answer the door. Foss drew his gun and waited by the wall in the dining room out of sight of the hall. He laid a finger over his lips for everyone at the table to be quiet. Kyle's heart began to beat faster and his head grew lighter. He went to leave the table, but Nicole put a hand on his arm and squeezed gently. She smiled nervously when he looked at her.

As Stephen opened the door, they heard him greeting Carol Bloom and Amanda. Foss put away his gun and everyone visibly sagged with relief except for Kyle, who tensed and sat upright. Lori made a strange sound and Kyle looked past Josh at her. She looked away from him immediately and he felt a pang of her guilt as it bounced off his senses. The room shifted a little, but he took a sip of fruit juice to distract himself.

Before Stephen could say anything else, Carol had let herself in saying, "Thank you, Stephen. I really need to speak with you and Nicole." When she saw everyone around the table, she stopped in her tracks. "In private." There was tension in her voice. "It's about…" Her eyes locked onto Kyle and widened. "What happened earlier," she finished. Kyle's eyes, however, were locked onto Amanda and vice versa.

Nicole stood up and said, "Carol, whatever you have to say you can say it openly. We were all up looking for Kyle when he came home."

"Oh," Carol replied, less confidently, looking at Tom Foss. She had become aware of him eyeing her.

Foss was amazed that this petite woman was the one who had managed to hit Kyle hard enough to draw blood. That worried him a lot. It also worried him that Kyle was using abilities he wasn't ready for. What toll would accelerating the healing process ultimately exact on his body? He tried to remember if Baylin had mentioned anything about healing processes in his notes. Nothing useful came to mind.

Just then Kyle rose from the table and stood next to Nicole, not once taking his eyes off Amanda. He could feel her energy calling to him, filling him with a desire to be near her. It was difficult to resist; he missed her. Carol noticed and cleared her throat nervously.

"Very well," she began to speak. "If that's what you would prefer."

Nicole indicated for Carol to take Foss' empty chair at the table, and Amanda took Declan's. Nicole took her own seat, but Kyle couldn't move. He remained standing beside Nicole next to his chair. She urged him to sit down, which he eventually did. Nicole noticed that Carol's hands were trembling. Amanda hadn't said a word and it was obvious she had been crying at some point. Nicole figured the gentle approach was probably going to be most effective.

"Help yourself to some water or juice," she said to the two visitors. Both looked at her but neither took her up on her offer. Then Amanda's eyes drifted back up to Kyle and fixed on his lack of injury. She stared and Kyle felt strange.

"Nicole, I won't beat around the bush. I found Kyle in Amanda's room. She assures me nothing untoward was going on, but I know what I saw," Carol rambled, her voice trembling slightly. It was obvious to Nicole that whatever had happened had shaken her badly. Nicole was surprised to learn that Kyle had been in Amanda's bedroom; she knew what Carol was like about such things.

"And what exactly did you see?" Nicole asked as gently as her rising defensiveness would allow.

Carol looked down at her hands before continuing. "He was…" She swallowed and looked at Amanda. Amanda's eyes were still on Kyle, but Kyle's eyes were now firmly fixed on his empty plate and he was fighting the temptation to bolt from the room. Nicole felt for his hand under the table. Carol began to feel defensive; all eyes were on her, except those of the boy she had slapped. All of a sudden she felt upset. She grabbed Amanda's hands and pushed her sleeves up to her elbows.

Nicole gasped, and Amanda jumped up, screaming, "Mom, you promised you wouldn't do this in front of Kyle!" Amanda then appealed to everyone with her desperate expression, especially to Kyle, who looked up at the sound of her distressed voice.

Carol spoke awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Amanda, but Nicole and Stephen have a right to know what I was dealing with."

Everyone looked at Amanda's bruised forearms as Carol held her daughter's hands firmly, then all eyes went to Kyle. He rose slowly to his feet and stared in open-mouthed horror at the bruises that emphasised the whiteness of Amanda's porcelain skin. He was rigid with guilt, but had no memory of grabbing her arms like that. He couldn't catch his breath as a wave of pain shot through his head and he leaned back against the wall for support. Amanda could see his distress, almost feel it, and she looked at Nicole.

"Please, Mrs. Trager," Amanda blurted. "Kyle didn't know he was hurting me! There was something going on with him. One minute we were…he was fine, and the next he got really dizzy or something. He hung onto my arms to stop himself falling over. That's all! Then he ran outside calling for Jessi. He was really out of it." She looked at Kyle, begging him not to be upset. "You didn't know what you were doing."

Carol added, "That's why I slapped him, Nicole. I never intended to hit him hard, only to make him breathe. He was hyperventilating or something." She then surprised Kyle by facing him and saying, "I'm just relieved to see there's less damage done than at first it appeared. I was worried that my ring had caught your lip. I'm very sorry, Kyle." She sounded genuine. "And I'm sorry about your friend, Jessi. Amanda explained to me why you were so distressed."

Nicole looked at Kyle with concern. "Is that really what happened?"

Kyle couldn't speak. He scanned everyone's faces. They all looked at him with a mixture of shock and confusion. Had he really hurt Amanda? He slowly moved behind Nicole and gently took Amanda's hands in his own. He brought her arms up and slowly slid his hands up her forearms. His hands fit the bruises perfectly. He let go and his lower lip trembled. He fought back the urge to run. Amanda suddenly brought her right hand up to his mouth and ran her index finger over the tiny mark where his wound had been. He wanted so much to kiss her again, and it took all his willpower to stop himself from doing it in front of everyone.

That's when he felt something deep inside begin to move. It arced from his brain and sent messages to every nerve along his spine. He felt Amanda's fear of leaving for New York and her mother's fear of losing her. He felt the fears of every person in the room before the door inside his mind rattled. There was a voice in his head.

"Help me, Kyle!" Jessi cried. "They're almost there."

"Kyle?" Nicole's voice penetrated the echoes in his mind. He found himself sitting on his chair once again. Nicole was leaning over him.

"Amanda, would you mind helping Kyle back to his room? I need to talk to your mom for a moment," Nicole said seriously.

"Sure," Amanda nodded, rather puzzled, and led Kyle away towards his room.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Needs_)


	25. Needs

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Here's No. 25! I've been beavering away at the next chapter/s too.

I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge the wonderful comments I've received. I've also received a few lovely emails from people. One of the most common questions I'm asked is whether I have planned out the story. The answer is, yes! Mostly it is already written in skeleton form…which brings me onto the next point. I intend to carry on with this story to its conclusion even though it will coincide with the new episodes of the show on TV. So please note that should there be any similarities between my plot and the one in the show, it's purely coincidental and not a case of me trying to incorporate it. My events are already in place in my skeleton draft! (I'm in the UK, which means I won't know what's going on in the show until after everyone else anyway!) In a way, I don't want it to be too close to the show, because that'll defeat the purpose of writing it in the first place (it's a foray into what _might_ have happened after '_Leap of Faith_' remember!!).

Thank you all again for being so supportive – it really makes it a worthwhile project. Please continue to let me know what you think and feel about _Breaking Through_. (15Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Misunderstandings_)

* * *

Chapter 25:  
**Needs**

Nicole closed the door to her office firmly and turned.

"I thought it was time for privacy," she said seriously, though not unkindly.

Carol Bloom had taken a seat in the corner of the room and nervously clenched the fabric of her dress. She nodded in resignation.

"Now Carol, you and I both know that was an Oscar-winning performance," Nicole stated.

"There were children present," Carol said quietly and Nicole's eyes widened.

"What _really_ happened with Kyle?" she asked. "It's really important that I know everything."

oooOooo

Across the hall, in Kyle's room, Kyle sat on the edge of his tub in a daze. Amanda stood in front of him and was closely examining his mouth where the wound had been.

"The skin isn't even broken," she marvelled, running her finger over the faint scar. "I don't understand. I saw you bleeding!" Kyle remained silent, looking up into her face. "Oh, Kyle!" Amanda sobbed, tears suddenly appearing. "I was so scared. I thought she'd hurt you really badly! I wanted to come straight here to see if you were ok, but she wouldn't let me."

Kyle's eyes moved then and his lips parted. "Why do people want to hurt me, Amanda?"

She wiped her tears with her fingers and searched Kyle's genuinely confused eyes, hoping he didn't really expect her to answer that question. She could see that he did; in so many ways he was just like a little child. She sat beside him on the edge of the tub and thought for a moment before she said, "I guess it's because they're scared of you. Of what you can do. Or what you make them see in themselves."

"Is your mom scared of me?" he asked.

Amanda thought for a moment. "Yes, Kyle. I think my mom is especially scared of you."

oooOooo

Carol Bloom lowered her voice. "I didn't want to say in front of everyone, but he had an…he was…_aroused_…when I walked into Amanda's room. He had hold of her by the arms and she was telling him that he was hurting her. He wasn't listening! I saw it, Nicole. I didn't make it up."

Nicole thought a moment, reading Carol's body language as she spoke. The woman was terrified. Nicole was rather surprised by Carol's overreaction. She may have been reserved, but she wasn't stupid. "Come on, Carol, you know as well as I do that it happens to boys when they're making out with their girlfriends! Just because Kyle had an erection doesn't mean that he was forcing himself on Amanda!"

"You saw her arms! Nicole, that boy was hurting her!" Carol protested.

Nicole had to agree that Kyle had obviously held Amanda's arms too tightly, and it worried her that he hadn't noticed; Kyle was usually so sensitive in that way. She brought her chair a bit closer to Carol's and said, "I need you to understand something about Kyle." Carol looked wary and shifted in her seat as Nicole continued. "He has never made an aggressive move towards anyone. _Never_. He is the least aggressive person I've ever observed, and I've seen hundreds in the course of my work. He is not crazy, or violent, or any of the things you seem to imagine. He came to me as a victim of _amnesia_, Carol. Not mental illness. It's true that he's had some emotional problems, but he's experienced some awful things…and we've been working through them. Other than that he is an exceptionally sensitive and gifted boy, and we are proud that he is part of this family. If he was handling Amanda roughly, there has to be another explanation. Kyle cares deeply for Amanda, and looks up to her. He would never hurt her intentionally."

Carol's already dark eyes darkened further as she leaned towards Nicole. "What I saw was not gentle. That boy was so full of…whatever it was…that he was making the…I don't even know how to say it…it sounds so…insane…"

Nicole could see the fear in the woman's face and suddenly wondered which of Kyle's extraordinary abilities she had witnessed. "What, Carol?" she coaxed, dreading the answer.

Carol Bloom's eyes stared intensely into Nicole's as she said, "Kyle was somehow making everything in the room shake." She burst into unexpected tears.

oooOooo

"I think my mom's scared of a lot of things," Amanda said thoughtfully. "But when my dad died, I think most of all she was scared of being alone." Kyle was watching her intently as she spoke, hanging onto every word. She continued, "When someone you love leaves you, it hurts."

Kyle swallowed, feeling her words touch a part of him he hadn't wanted to acknowledge: the part that was desperately going to miss her when she went to New York. He had tried so hard not to think about it. "You're leaving," he said quietly and looked away.

She put her hand on his cheek and gently pulled his face back towards her. "It's not the same thing at all, Kyle. I'm only going for a couple of months. And I'll come home for visits."

"I'm talking about your mom. She's scared about you leaving," Kyle did his best to avoid his own feelings.

Amanda gave a little half-smile and lowered her hand to his shoulder. "You don't have to be so brave, Kyle. It's okay to tell me how _you_ feel."

Kyle was silent. She looked at him and noticed how his eyes had taken on that otherworldly glow that had entranced her a few hours before. She pulled her gaze away before she got sucked into the ocean that swirled in Kyle's eyes. How had she ever been naïve enough before not to notice how he felt about her? It was so clear to her now. She knew he wanted to kiss her, but for some reason he was holding back. She thought about taking the initiative and felt herself leaning in ever so slightly.

"You're all she has left," Kyle stated, snapping Amanda out of it. "When you leave, she'll be alone."

oooOooo

"I was alone, Nicole," Carol wept quietly. "I didn't know what was happening."

Nicole passed the distraught woman a tissue. "Do you believe that _Kyle_ was making things shake, Carol?"

Carol blew her nose gently and said, "I don't know what to believe. I just know what I saw and I was frightened. And I was angry because my husband wasn't there when I needed him."

Nicole patted Carol on the hand ever so lightly. "What do you think he would he have done if he had been?"

Carol thought a moment and her face crumpled. "I was only trying to protect Amanda. I thought Kyle was hurting her. He was swaying and…" her eyes showed real sorrow. "He was very unsteady on his feet."

Nicole nodded. "He's very traumatised by Jessi's…accident."

"He makes me nervous," Carol admitted.

"Has he ever given you any reason to be?" Nicole asked.

Carol swallowed. "He gets too close."

Nicole knew exactly what she meant; and she wasn't referring to physical proximity.

"To Amanda, you understand," Carol hurriedly added. "And after all that with Charlie…well, I can't bear the thought of another betrayal."

oooOooo

"I guess she saw my dad's death as a kind of betrayal," Amanda murmured. "It hurts when you think you can count on someone and then they do something bad that you really didn't want or expect."

Kyle acknowledged what she was saying. "Like when Charlie betrayed your trust."

"Yeah, and when Jessi betrayed yours," Amanda stated. She noticed a shadow pass behind Kyle's eyes. "It makes you feel really scared and vulnerable," she said. "Like everything you believed in has gone."

There was a moment of silence. Kyle studied Amanda's face and chewed the inside of his lip in thought. He needed to share something with her, but wasn't sure how she would take it. He wanted there to be no secrets between them, but equally, he didn't want to upset her or put her in more danger than she was already in. He needed to tell someone. He toyed with the bottom of his T-shirt and took a deep breath.

"Amanda, even though Charlie hurt you very badly, would you help him if he asked you to?" he asked tentatively.

Amanda frowned and studied Kyle's eyes looking for where this line of questioning was leading, but she couldn't read him. She began to feel uneasy, wondering what impact her answer might have on Kyle's trust in her. She sighed and said, finally, "Honestly? I probably would, but only if he didn't have anyone else."

Kyle's gaze intensified, throwing Amanda into a definite state of anxiety. "Even remembering how much he hurt you? And knowing that he might hurt you again?"

Amanda frowned more deeply and turned her body towards Kyle on the edge of the tub so that their knees were touching. She took the hand that was toying with the T-shirt and cupped her own hands around it. "Kyle, what's this about?"

"Jessi," he stated succinctly. "She's alive, and she asked me to help her."

oooOooo

"He left the house," Carol Bloom explained to Nicole tearfully. "And Amanda followed him. She left me there, alone. She chose to follow Kyle. That made me angry."

Nicole was starting to get a psychological picture of a woman tortured by her own loneliness. She saw Kyle as a threat to her security. It explained a lot. For Carol Bloom, Kyle represented something that was potentially taking Amanda away from her.

"So you hit him?" Nicole asked, concerned.

"Oh no, not at that point!" the tearful woman cried in her own defence. "I followed them outside. Kyle was staggering around. He seemed to be looking for something. Muttering to himself. I don't know what was wrong with him. To be honest, Nicole, he looked like he was on drugs or something." She stopped to wipe her nose before continuing. "When he grabbed Amanda I thought he was going to hurt her again, so I ran up and pulled her away. He fell against me and that's when I turned and–"

"Slapped him." Nicole felt herself tensing.

Carol nodded quickly, her weeping starting anew. "Yes." Her throat tightened up. "I just wanted him to get away from us. Oh, Nicole, I'll never forget the look in his eyes. And the blood. God forgive me."

Nicole instantly visualised the scene and hated the thought of Kyle being hit. She fought down her own need to lash out at this woman, knowing that pain and fear had motivated Carol's actions, not spite. "I think you need to forgive yourself," she said quietly, believing Carol was genuinely remorseful.

oooOooo

"Kyle, you need to forgive yourself! Jessi's gone!" Amanda cried, pushing herself to her feet and staring down at him with pleading eyes. "What happened to her wasn't your fault!" She had moved so fast that Kyle almost fell backwards into the tub.

"Amanda, please," he begged. "I know I've been all over the place, but I'm not imagining this. I told you before how she was in my head during the night…Well, just a little while ago I heard her calling me in my mind. Somehow she is connecting with me. I don't understand it myself, and you're the only person I've told."

Amanda sighed and had to admit to herself that it made as much sense as any of this strange situation. She couldn't condemn Kyle as hopelessly losing it when something at the back of her own mind was telling her he wouldn't lie about it…and also that he wouldn't even mention it if it weren't bothering him. She cupped his face in her hands and absently ran her thumb over the small bruise on his chin. It reminded her how special he really was.

"I believe in you, Kyle. But I don't understand why you would help her after what she did to you, to Lori, to everyone," she said softly, looking deeply into his eyes.

Kyle searched for a way to express what he was feeling, hoping his Swiss cheese mind would offer up something that made sense. It was too important to get wrong. "Jessi is the only other person like me. If I stop believing in her, it's like I stop believing in myself. And you were right when you talked about whether you would help Charlie. You said you would if he had nobody else. Well, Jessi has nobody in the world except me."

Amanda couldn't argue with him. He was right, of course, but it didn't make her feel any more comfortable about it. She trusted Kyle, but she didn't trust Jessi. Jessi had hurt Kyle terribly, and that made her someone to be wary of. Just like she herself would always be wary of Charlie.

"Do you know where she is?" Amanda asked cautiously, trying her hardest to hide her disappointment.

Kyle shook his head. "But I know she's in danger. I think Madacorp has found her."

Amanda suddenly felt frightened. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid like going off by yourself again. I won't be here to help you, and I don't want to spend every day in New York worrying about you. I'm going to miss you terribly as it is. You are very precious to me, Kyle, and while you're out there protecting Jessi, who's going to protect _you_?"

oooOooo

"Kyle isn't someone to be feared, Carol, he is someone to be protected. His unique way of seeing the world should be preserved," Nicole said as she returned to her office with a glass of water for Carol. The woman took it gratefully and sipped it as Nicole continued. "It would never occur to Kyle to hurt anyone. His sense of right and wrong is so amazingly strong, it puts the rest of us to shame."

"I know. That's why Amanda's so fond of him," Carol Bloom said poignantly as she set the glass down. "And why I'm so afraid to like him."

oooOooo

Kyle held Amanda close to him. "I will do everything in my power to make sure everything is put right. But I need to know you're safe. New York is the best place for you to be right now. That way Jessi can't hurt you."

"Why would Jessi hurt _me_?" Amanda asked.

Kyle squeezed her a bit closer. "Because she knows how much I lov–"

Amanda pulled away and looked into his eyes. "What?"

"How much I…_care_…about you," he corrected. He was too afraid to say it out loud.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Opportunism_)


	26. Opportunism

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Here's Ch. 26. I had hoped to post this and Ch. 27 together, but alas! It wasn't to be – work got in the way. It'll be up very soon, though, so don't worry. Hope you like it. Thank you so much for the excellent comments you've been sending me. (16Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Needs_)

* * *

Chapter 26:  
**Opportunism**

From her seat at the top of the stairs, Lori heard her mom's office door open. Then she heard Kyle's door open and Carol Bloom's rather strained voice tell Amanda, somewhat sternly, that it was time to go, because they didn't want to be late getting to the airport. The two of them appeared so quickly in the hallway it was clear to Lori that Amanda had not lingered with Kyle, not even for a minute. Lori's heart sank as she feared the worst had truly happened. She watched as her mother escorted them to the door and they were gone with hardly a word said. Lori's heart ached to talk to Kyle, but she knew she would be shooed away by Mother Hen.

Nicole closed the front door and leaned against it, exhausted. Her eyes caught sight of Lori watching her from the top of the stairs, and smiled. Lori put on her best smile in return, though it probably wasn't her most convincing, and watched Nicole wander into the dining room where the men were clearing the breakfast things away. Lori suddenly decided to seize the chance, and she padded down the stairs quietly.

Josh had always told her she should make the most of her opportunities in life; that she was too wrapped up in creating the illusion of being spontaneous. _Sometimes you just have to _DO it_, not think about it – or if you have to think about it, think about it AFTER you've done it._ _But always – and I stress always – have several very well rehearsed explanations at the ready in case you get caught out; ones that cover a whole variety of situations. _That's what Josh often said to her; or rather, that's what Josh often threw at her in disgust when she did get caught out. That's usually when she would yell back at him that she didn't have those spherical things between her legs that supposedly made people immune to fear of the consequences; she just pretended she had them.

As she quickly padded down the hall, past the kitchen door, towards Kyle's room, she realised that she really _was_ aware of the consequences of her supposedly spontaneous decisions. Even now she knew she was probably going to get into trouble for disturbing Kyle. Her mom had told her to wait until he was feeling better before talking to him; he'd been through so much in such a short time. But Lori's conscience was weighing heavily and she really needed to talk to him before it was too late. Screw the rules!

She didn't knock in case her mom heard, she just gently opened Kyle's door and peered round it. Kyle was sitting in silence on the edge of his tub with his back to her. She stepped in quietly and closed the door behind her.

Kyle spoke without even turning around. "You have every right to be mad at me about Declan," he said quietly, head hung low.

Lori froze in her tracks. It still creeped her out that he could sense people like that, but it was odd that he had got it wrong; she hadn't come to talk about that at all. He was normally pretty on the ball where sensing people's moods was concerned. He was also usually more eager to talk. It made Lori realise just how differently Kyle was behaving, how unlike himself he really was. She panicked; maybe she should have listened to her mom. Now that she was in Kyle's space, she didn't know what to say to him. He hadn't even turned round and she noticed how his shoulders sagged, lending a curviness to his long back. Everything about him smacked of exhaustion, even his voice sounded totally drained of emotion. He didn't seem much like a super being to her at that moment. There was a long silence.

"I'm not mad at you. At least, I'm not anymore," Lori said at last, inwardly cringing at the memory of her previous ghastly behaviour. Kyle gave a small sniff and eyed her over his shoulder. She could tell he was upset. In fact, he looked devastated; she had to say something. "Kyle, I'm so sorry Amanda broke up with you. It's all totally my fault," she blurted.

Kyle shifted his body so that he turned more fully towards her. "Amanda broke up with me?" He looked horrified. He stood up and faced Lori across the room. "Did she just tell you that?"

Lori's eyes widened and she felt hot. "No! I thought…because…you mean she didn't?" Her voice sounded squeezed. "Oh God, I seem to be saying all the wrong things lately!" Embarrassment gave way to relief.

Fortunately, Kyle seemed to realise her faux pas and let out a huge sigh of relief that matched her own, spinning around and collapsing back onto the side of the tub, as he had been before. "I know what you did, but don't worry about it, Lori. I'm not mad at you either. Everything is fine."

It didn't seem that way to Lori as she approached and stopped in front of him. It creeped her out even more to see close up how his formerly swollen and bleeding lip had healed. She put her right hand ever so gently on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Kyle? Crap! I'm sorry, that sounds so lame, too!"

He looked at her, his eyes glistening. He shrugged. He wanted to talk to Lori, but he was unable to think of words to describe how he was feeling. His mind felt like it had been through a shredder; Amanda was going away and Jessi was tugging at him; Madacorp was a threat to the safety of his friends and family; Adam Baylin was alive, barely; and Foss had been keeping secrets. Kyle didn't know how much more his heart could take before it started to break. Lori didn't know what to do and she was just about to say so when the door opened and Declan slipped into the room. He physically jumped when he saw Lori, almost spilling the contents of the mug he was carrying.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled to her. "I didn't know you were in here. Your mom sent me in with this tea for Kyle." He presented the mug of steaming liquid.

Kyle looked over his shoulder and smiled weakly at his friend in thanks. Declan could tell he was exhausted. It seemed that the poor guy hadn't really had any sleep since they got back. Declan was worried about him, but something else was worrying him more. He took a few steps into the room and sat on Kyle's desk chair, placing the tea on the desk. He took a deep breath.

"Foss is talking about taking you away somewhere safer," Declan said very gingerly, a definite tone of concern in his voice.

Lori's eyes widened at the same time as Kyle's and they both looked at Declan.

"Where?" Kyle asked, suddenly feeling his heart rate picking up.

Declan shrugged. "I don't know, man, but I thought you had a right to know what's going on. He's saying that Madacorp will be all over this house once they realise Jessi's dead and they haven't got what they wanted from you." He wanted to say more, but it felt awkward with Lori there.

"He can't just take you away, Kyle," Lori said positively. "Mom and Dad–"

"Believe me," Declan interrupted her, "if Tom Foss decides to do this, nothing can stop him. Kyle knows that; he had the dart in his back to prove it." Declan shuddered as those images flashed back into his mind.

"Jessi isn't dead," Kyle interrupted them both. "And I believe Madacorp knows it."

"What?" Both Lori and Declan asked simultaneously.

"How do you know that?" Declan asked, stunned.

"You said she jumped into the falls!" Lori joined in.

"She did, but…" Kyle muttered then paused, wondering if he'd done the right thing by admitting this to them. He didn't have any proof other than the images in his mind. He was too exhausted to start holding things back, so he gave in to his _own_ feelings, as Amanda had said he should now and then. "I can't really explain it, but we're connected somehow, in here," and he tapped his head. "But not all the time."

Lori and Declan looked at each other. "You mean she can talkto you? In your head? Like telepathy or something?" Lori asked. Kyle nodded then lowered his eyes to his lap and fixed them on his hands. "Is she talking to you right now?" Lori wondered.

Kyle shook his head. "No, but she was a little while ago when we were all at the table; just before Amanda brought me back to my room."

"Well, what did she say to you?" Declan wanted to know, his concern deepening.

Kyle looked into his friend's eyes. "She asked me to help her then she said _'they're almost there'_."

"What does that mean?" Lori asked, intrigued yet frightened all at the same time. It felt strange to be involved in one of the Kyle-Declan 'secret' conversations.

"Don't say any more!" Declan stood up and handed the peppermint tea to Kyle. "Drink your tea. Then you're going to tell Foss what you've just told us before he drags you away to some secret location – and we know he's capable of it, Kyle."

Kyle felt sick. The thought of being taken away from his family again filled him with dread, and there would be no Adam Baylin to help him this time. He took the pungent tea from Declan and willed it to give him strength.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Powwow - Part 1_)


	27. Powwow Part 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Hello lovely readers! A HUGE thank you to you all - especially to those of you who have left your wonderfully encouraging comments for me. It makes me feel good to know I'm doing something right. I'm sorry for the delay in getting this up – the pressure's been on me and I've been really busy! I also tend to work on the chapters out of sequence and I was working on another bit before finalising this bit (when something runs through my mind like a film, then I have to get it down before I lose it!)…! Anyway, hope you like this one – Part 2 asap, I promise! (20Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Opportunism_)

* * *

Chapter 27:  
**Powwow (Part 1)**

Last night Stephen had listened to Kyle's tale, a tragic and almost unbelievable one, and now found himself growing fearful for the safety of his family. The danger that had pursued Kyle had become a stark reality, and now there was a man with a gun sitting across the table in Stephen's dining room. He watched that man, Tom Foss, closely, looking for evidence that he truly had Kyle's interests at heart. What did they really know about him? Stephen had always had a feeling Foss was more than he purported to be, even when he was masquerading as their neighbourhood security officer. Instinct then had told him Foss was not what he seemed, and now he looked for signs that could tell him whether the man was to be trusted. He could not find any reason _not_ to trust him, but the situation was so delicate, and Kyle's future hung so precariously in the balance, that he had to get this right.

Stephen tensed the muscles in his jaw as he listened to Foss talk about Kyle as though he were nothing more than a valuable commodity that needed to be locked away in some top-security storage facility somewhere; an invention that was at the centre of some terrible industrial war that spawned espionage and even murder. Something about the man intrigued Stephen, made him want to know more. Ever since witnessing Foss in the C.I.R. chair at Madacorp, and overhearing the tête-à-tête between him and Brian Taylor, Stephen knew there was more to this tale than any of them were aware. And Stephen did not want Kyle to end up in that chair; not only did he fear the motives of the people he had been unwittingly working for, but the diagnostic tests, which he now knew had been done on Tom Foss, had not been properly analysed and evaluated; the data retrieved by the machine had not been pronounced accurate…or the extraction process declared safe.

Stephen also remembered how inconsolable Nicole had been when the mysterious Petersons had taken Kyle from them. He glanced at his wife sitting next to him. She was questioning Foss in her controlled and professional way, but Stephen knew that behind her clever and concerned face was a mother who was fighting to keep her child. He thought how ironic it was that it was usually Nicole who sat across the table from a distressed mother as her child's future was being taken out of her hands. He knew that Nicole, too, was aware of the irony. Funny how life had a way of preparing one for certain challenging experiences. Stephen loved Nicole more than anything, and her happiness was far more important to him than Foss would ever know.

Then there was the special bond that Nicole shared with Kyle. It was infuriatingly close, frustratingly irresistible, and incredibly wonderful. Kyle had flourished under her guidance, and she had rediscovered her love of family life through nurturing him. Stephen knew that the destruction of that bond, however, would be far-reaching and devastating to the whole family, not to mention to Kyle. Stephen couldn't help but wonder what tearing him away from his family all over again would do to the boy. He was very unstable right now, and in obvious distress about everything that had happened because of him, and _to_ him. Nobody deserved to suffer like that.

Kyle. At first, Stephen had found his presence in the house somewhat irritating and disruptive. He hadn't understood the boy at all. He inwardly winced with the guilt of knowing he had fallen victim to judging Kyle to be the stereotypical troubled teen. Soon, however, he began to realise what Nicole had seen at the outset: Kyle was not the average troubled teen at all. He was special. Not just because he was alone and vulnerable, or because he could draw amazing pictures, or had the most genuine and infectious smile. He was special because his life force spilled out over everyone he encountered in a modest, not grandiose, way. Kyle was generally quiet and thoughtful, even somewhat serious; but he had a huge capacity for love and was unashamedly emotionally available to anyone who needed him. He was an inspiration: each family member was kept acutely aware of his or her own importance purely because Kyle never tried to hide his deep love for each one. He had enhanced their lives both individually and collectively, and it humbled Stephen that Kyle had borne so much in secret for the sake of his family.

What Stephen had also grown to realise, and it had culminated the night before while seeing Kyle's distress, was that he loved the boy as one of his own children, and he would do anything to keep him safe. He wanted what was best for _Kyle_, and knowing what is best for one's children wasn't always as straightforward as it seemed. And right now, knowing what was best for Kyle was impossible without knowing what Kyle wanted for himself, because the boy had never said a word about it. In fact, Kyle had never asked for anything but acceptance. Stephen didn't want to make any decisions that would jeopardise Kyle's security and well being, or that would destroy his family. Stephen knew that each member of the family, including himself, would suffer forever if Kyle disappeared from their lives again. _Even Declan _Stephen thought to himself, remembering how much Declan had endured for his friend. Yes, Kyle was certainly important, but not for the reasons Foss seemed to be advocating.

Stephen became aware of Nicole's voice drying up with distress, so he re-entered the discussion. "That's all very well, but where would you take him?" he asked, not sure at all that he agreed with what Tom Foss was proposing.

Foss shifted on the rather hard dining room chair and straightened the aching back that had carried Kyle's weight for so long. "I have somewhere in mind," he answered.

"That's not what I asked you," Stephen became sterner. He squeezed Nicole's hand under the table.

Foss met his eyes. "I cannot tell you the precise location, but Madacorp wouldn't be able to get to him there."

"How long would he have to stay there?" Nicole cut in, her voice shaking slightly, hating everything about the thought of Kyle being taken away, but seeing the sense in terms of protecting him.

"Permanently," Foss stated, not able to meet her eyes. Nicole's gasp was followed by a long, awkward silence. She took a breath to speak.

"I'm not going!" came a voice from somewhere out in the hall.

Foss, Stephen and Nicole all turned to see Kyle appear in the doorway to the dining room flanked by Lori and Declan.

Tom Foss frowned, biting back the tirade that was threatening to come out. He said, in a very controlled voice, "Kyle, you cannot stay here. It is too dangerous. Madacorp could be all over this neighbourhood by now. They will wait for an opportunity then _they_ will take you away. And what they will do to you once they have you…you don't want to know."

Kyle took a couple of steps into the room. He looked frightened and pale, but there was a steeliness in his eyes. "You said I'd be safe if I went with the Petersons," Kyle argued, his voice straining as his throat tightened, "and then Adam was shot right in front of me." Nicole put her hand to her mouth; it was the first time she had heard Kyle put the events he had related the previous night into proper context and it frightened her. Kyle looked at her then looked back at Foss. "You told me there was nothing for me to worry about and then Jessi turned up to steal information from my head. She got close to my family, hurt my best friend and attacked my sister!" Lori swallowed hard, feeling the intensity of Kyle's feelings. Kyle felt himself getting tearful. "There is _nowhere_ safe for me, Foss! Admit it! Not even _you_ can cover all the threats. And I know your intentions are good, but taking me away from the people I love will torture me just as surely as anything Madacorp could do to me. I told you before: I can't spend my whole life alone and in hiding like Adam. The only way I'd ever survive it is if you put me back inside one of those tanks!" Nicole gasped at that and shook her head. Kyle's apologetic, tearful eyes lingered on her before returning to Foss. "_Please_."

Foss didn't even give Kyle's words a thought. "I cannot let you put your own life at risk, there is too much at stake, and you are too important," he reiterated the point, his frustration growing rapidly.

Kyle's shoulders sagged in defeat. It was obvious to everyone that his conscience was troubling him; there was a battle raging on his face between doing the right thing for everyone else, or doing the right thing for himself like Amanda said he should now and then. He was being pulled in two directions, as always, and the pain was evident. He took a few more steps into the room. Declan went to follow him, but Lori held him back and they looked at each other worriedly.

"Kyle," Foss went to continue, more softly.

"No!" Stephen cut in loudly, before Kyle could say anything else. "Kyle stays put. There _has _to be another way to deal with Madacorp." Stephen had heard his adopted son's appeal directly to his heart as if he'd screamed it from the rooftops.

Kyle's own heart skipped a beat. It felt strange to be discussing these things openly in front of his family; but it also felt good, and to hear the man he knew as his father supporting him was overwhelming. Kyle hadn't expected that and he thanked Stephen as best he could with his eyes.

Foss rolled his own eyes in utter frustration. "You don't know what you're dealing with here. You can't defend _yourselves_, let alone defend Kyle!"

That set all three adults arguing. Their emotions began to spill over and pelt Kyle's sensitive mind like snowballs laced with shards of flint. He couldn't bear it; he wanted it to end. Their aggressive shouts brought Josh careering down the stairs from his room, his cell phone still in his hand. He fumbled with it and stood next to Lori and Declan, whose frowns were so ingrained Josh was sure they would become permanent. Kyle had moved closer to Foss, who was leaning in on his arms towards Stephen. Nicole was raising her voice and pounding her fist on the top of a pile of papers she had in front of her. Kyle's eyes fell on the papers and he spied a drawing he didn't recognise. It looked like fire, and it showed a ZZYZX logo. He recognised that as one of Jessi's memories; he had tapped into her mind at the charity event and experienced that very scene. He didn't remember drawing that for Nicole; had Jessi done it? Had Nicole known about Jessi all along and not told him? His stomach lurched.

Jessi. Thinking of her made him feel even more pulled apart. The holes in his mind began to stretch and ooze energy, and his head began to pound in that familiar sickly way that heralded the terrible something inside that he couldn't control; only this time it felt slightly different. Something had changed and he found that as he reached towards it, he could almost touch it. Nicole's fear of losing him again suddenly slammed into his mind and he grabbed the sides of his head in pain. She noticed and said something he couldn't hear. Then Amanda's words leapt out at him from a nearby gap in his memory: _your leaving like that hurt us all a lot more_. Stephen also noticed Kyle's distress and made to get up out of his chair, but stopped. Foss turned and spoke, but Kyle couldn't hear anything except the agonising roar in his head. He whimpered as a million needles seemed to prick his skin simultaneously. The energy that had been building took on its now familiar sensation of a fireball coming up from the depths of a well shaft. He couldn't hold it back; he was too weakened from everything that had happened. He cried out in panic and threw his eyes at the pile of papers in front of Nicole.

The blast from Kyle's mind whipped the papers high into the air and scattered them. Nicole shrieked, and she and the two men cowered as the blast threw their chairs back a couple of feet from the table. The empty chairs fell over completely. The force rebounded off the dining room wall and lifted Kyle off his feet, throwing him back into Declan, Lori and Josh. They all fell into a heap. The only sounds, apart from the grunts and ouches, were those of Kyle's ragged breathing and pages and pages of paper fluttering down around them. Amazingly, nothing else fell or was broken.

Kyle willed himself to get to his feet. Despite the terrible pain in his head, he walked across the room on wobbly legs, stopping where Jessi's drawing had fallen a few feet from the table. He bent down and picked it up. He turned to face Foss with the fire from the drawing reflected in his eyes. "You forget something, Foss," he spoke breathlessly, and not a little desperately. "_I_ am the one they want. _I_ can put all of this right."

Stephen Trager's stomach churned at Kyle's words. He'd heard them before. Had the boy not learned his lesson? God, he loved Kyle, but his naivety was terrifying.

"I have these abilities. _I_ can protect myself and my family," Kyle finished.

Foss' eyes narrowed. "I doubt it. And certainly not without training," he said, still stunned by what had just happened.

Kyle hardened his gaze. "So train me."

Declan stepped forward and stood next to Kyle. "And you can train me, too, Foss. You promised me you'd let me kick your ass – so train me to do it so it'll be a fair fight."

"And you can teach me the basics so that nobody will get attacked like I was," Lori joined in, raising her chin and thinking about Jessi.

Josh remembered the run-in he'd had with a school bully on Kyle's first day at Beachwood High. "Yeah, and I want to be able to defend Kyle against people like Toby Neworth, just like he did for me," said Josh, looking at Foss intently.

Stephen and Nicole looked at each other in shock. All of the youngsters huddled round Kyle in front of Tom Foss and the man's eyes were like saucers. Finally Stephen spoke.

"It's not such a bad idea, Tom; by helping us all, you will be helping Kyle. Think about it," he said. Nicole nodded. She was also tired of feeling helpless, remembering when someone tried breaking into the house while she was there by herself.

Kyle turned slowly, looking at everyone in turn, not believing what his ears were hearing. His family and friends were rallying round him; they had his back. He had never expected this. His chest began to tighten and his head was still pounding with the residue of the energy blast. That, mixed with his feelings of relief, heightened fear and the anticipation of Foss' reaction was all too much. Kyle felt his brain begin to shut down. He held his breath for what seemed like hours before Foss spoke.

"This is insane!" the man cried and looked straight at Kyle.

Foss' mouth moved, but Kyle didn't hear the rest as the world began to spin slowly down his mental plughole.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Powwow - Part 2_)


	28. Powwow Part 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Hopefully this will put some of your fears about Foss' role to bed!! (22Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Powwow – Part 1)_

* * *

Chapter 28:  
**Powwow (Part 2)**

"We don't have time for this nonsense!" Foss shouted, losing his temper. He pulled his eyes away from Kyle and glared at the three youngsters flanking him. "You want to learn to defend yourselves then take some self-defence classes downtown! Kyle's training isn't about that!" Foss swept his angry gaze back to Kyle just as the boy's eyes rolled back in his head and his legs gave way. Foss reached forwards at the same time Declan reached out from behind, and between them lowered Kyle to the floor where he began convulsing. Everyone crowded round in panic. Concern for Kyle shortened Foss' fuse. "Back off and give him some room!" he barked, crouching over Kyle like a loyal guard dog, waving his arms around to indicate the need for space.

Everyone scattered, realising the man's tone had a dangerous edge to it; all, that is, except Declan. Josh watched, eyes wide, as Foss removed his jacket and fully revealed the holstered gun that had been lurking underneath. Lori's gasp was a bit too loud, but not loud enough to draw Foss' attention away from Kyle. He rolled the boy onto his side and placed the bundled up jacket under his head with surprising care, explaining that there was nothing to be done now except wait it out until Kyle's seizure ran its course. Declan noted he used the same explanatory tone he had in the woods. He knew that Foss believed Kyle might be able to hear him even while he was unconscious.

"That's it!" Nicole cried out. "I'm calling an ambulance. I should've done this as soon as he got home last night!"

Foss was up in a second. "No! That's not an option right now. Trust me, that would be a very big mistake. You have no idea how close ZZYZX came to getting him last time he was taken into hospital. If the Petersons hadn't shown up…Madacorp is a much bigger creature with longer arms and a lot more eyes."

Nicole put a hand over her mouth and glanced down, her maternal instincts in agony as she watched Kyle's body convulsing and heard his strange moans and whimpers. Foss' face suddenly softened and he took a deep breath. His voice was much calmer when he spoke again.

"Nicole," it still felt awkward to him calling her that, "Please! All I'm trying to do is make all of you understand the scale of Kyle's situation and how dangerous it is. These people can turn up anywhere, and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. And what they want is Kyle – or at least, what Kyle has in his head."

Stephen knew Foss was right about Madacorp, his instinct told him so, but he eyed the man and said, nodding towards Kyle, "But look at him! That's not normal…even for Kyle…is it?"

Foss pursed his lips in thought for a moment. "My educated guess, according to my experiences with Adam Baylin, is that this is a fit brought on by too much brain activity doing…whatever that was Kyle was doing. He'd never done that before yesterday and it's happened a few times now…so I'd say he's just over-extended himself by doing something new that he hasn't built up his stamina for. The same thing happened to him at the carnival a few months ago, didn't it?"

"You knew about that?" Nicole gasped in surprise.

Foss nodded. "I was there. How do you think the Petersons knew where to find Kyle?"

Stephen frowned and looked at his wife. Hearing that reminded them of how long Kyle had been keeping secrets, and the dark and dangerous nature of them. Declan, however, wasn't surprised in the slightest. He remembered Kyle telling him from his hospital bed about how he had been using his newly discovered distance hearing to eavesdrop on Foss' conversation with the ZZYZX assassin just before collapsing on the carousel. That's when Kyle had first learned the seriousness of the threat to his life.

"He should come out of this soon enough," Foss continued, glancing down at Kyle. "Then we'll be able to assess the situation. If he doesn't come round in a few minutes, I'll back down and we'll get him to the hospital. But I have to warn you: your everyday hospital isn't equipped to deal with someone like Kyle. They'd be wasting valuable time checking and re-checking their equipment before treating him. Or they'd have him locked up in a lab before you knew it."

Nicole remembered Kyle's MRI scans, how the very first one showed incredible brain activity, yet the second one hadn't. Had someone really known about Kyle and interfered with the test results? It scared her to think that they had been under such close scrutiny without the slightest knowledge of it. Foss looked from Nicole to Stephen, awaiting some kind of response. Stephen and Nicole looked at each other then both turned and nodded their consent. "Three more minutes," Nicole stated sternly. "That's still more than the usual threshold."

Foss nodded his agreement and crouched back down at Kyle's side, adjusting the temporary pillow. "I've been wondering how much longer Kyle was going to hold out before this happened. _This_ is precisely why he needs to train, or his mind will kill his body," Foss said so quietly, even sadly, that everyone had to strain to hear him. Nicole buried her face in Stephen's neck and couldn't watch.

Declan, still crouching by Kyle, glared at Foss and stood. "Why is it that you always know best? Who are you really, Foss?" he said through gritted teeth. "How come nobody else has a say in what happens to Kyle? _They_ are his parents!" Declan pointed at Stephen and Nicole. "What gives _you_ the right to make the decisions?" It was apparent to everyone else that Declan was not afraid to confront Foss, and that it had obviously happened before. Foss stood and met Declan's glare.

"Because it's my job," he stated infuriatingly calmly.

That always got to Declan. "Says who?" he spat back.

Foss ignored him and looked down at Kyle shaking on the floor. Lori had dropped down by his head and was gingerly stroking his hair, her face full of fear. Stephen stepped forward. "Declan, please, just calm down," he began.

"No!" Declan cried. "I want to know who gives the orders about Kyle? Is it you, Foss? Adam Baylin? Madacorp? Someone else we don't even know about yet? Come on, you told me we're on the same side. So which side is that?" Foss remained silent. "And what about Jessi?" Declan couldn't stop himself. "Why didn't you warn Kyle about her? Are you working with Jessi? Is that where you went when I was driving Kyle home last night? Is she the '_something you had to take care of_?"

"That's enough!" Foss roared, though he remained controlled. "I told you, I didn't know the girl was even alive, let alone involved, until you told me about her yesterday." Declan's eyes were dark with adrenaline, but Foss' were darker. "Drop it," Foss said, his voice menacingly low. He knelt beside Kyle once again.

Declan followed him down, but maintained eye contact as he said defiantly, "Kyle's future should be up to Kyle. What gives these people the right to mess with his life? He didn't ask to be created!"

"Did you?" Foss caught him off guard. "Did any of us?" Declan mentally groped for an answer, but nothing came to him. His mouth snapped shut. Foss followed that up more passionately with, "No matter who creates us – God, Adam Baylin, or Steven Spielberg – once we're here, it's up to us to do the best we can with the cards we're dealt. It's the same for Kyle as it is for anyone – it's just that he was dealt a trickier hand than most. Lucky for him he was given an amazing brain to help him along. I'm here to help him survive long enough to have a fair chance at life. That's all any adult can do for a child." Foss took a deep breath to calm himself; his training was paying off.

Declan sat back on his haunches, unable to argue with that. Something strange flashed behind Foss' eyes. To Declan, it looked like pain. In the ensuing silence, they realised Kyle had stopped shaking. Foss placed his hand gently on the boy's neck to check his pulse then looked at Declan as déjà vu washed over him. He snapped himself out of it.

"Help me get him into the lounge," Foss ordered, this time much more gently.

oooOooo

Kyle became aware of a softness against his cheek and something tickling his hair. He had no idea where he was. He had the feeling that his eyes were open, but he couldn't see anything clearly; it all seemed to be grey. Disembodied voices floated in and out of range and his sensory perception interpreted the molecules in the atmosphere to be indicative of anxiety. He couldn't move his body and his thoughts seemed to be scattered, or shattered, he couldn't decide which. Someone said a word that seemed familiar. Then he remembered: it was his name.

"Yes?" he heard himself mumble.

"…fingers…holding…" he heard the voice say.

He felt like he was at the bottom of a very deep well, underneath the water. He felt a thought go past his consciousness and he grabbed it like a lifebuoy. The pretty girl in the thought turned to look at him. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He held her hair in his hands either side of her face, feeling it with his fingers. Her eyes were deep and her hair felt more beautiful than anything he'd ever touched. He felt himself being drawn closer and closer to her full, inviting mouth. He wanted so much to kiss her. He tried to tell her that he loved her, but she didn't seem to hear him. She moved further away. He desperately wanted to tell her how he felt, because deep inside he felt like he needed her.

"Kyle," she said his name more clearly.

"Yes?" he answered again, feeling her face with his hands, warm and soft.

"…know…I am?" she asked through the water.

"Amanda," the word flowed from his mouth breathily and he felt himself smile.

Nicole glanced up at Stephen, concerned. Kyle lay on the sofa with Nicole kneeling on the floor beside him. She had one hand on his cheek and the other was absently stroking his hair. Kyle cupped her face in his hands and his fingers toyed with wisps of her short, blonde hair. His eyes were wide open, but the pupils were dilated. He was smiling at her. "No, Kyle, it's Nicole," she said softly. She turned away from him and asked Foss, "How long has it been since he passed out?"

Foss went to check his watch when Josh suddenly blurted, "Four minutes and twenty-three seconds! Jeez, I sound like Kyle!" Everyone looked at him, eyes wide. He shrugged and said, "I guess I was so scared I accidentally triggered the stopwatch function on my cell phone." Everyone's eyes went to the phone that Josh still held in his right hand. Foss confirmed what Josh had said, impressed. Nicole returned her gaze to Kyle. He had dropped his hands from her hair and they lay limply on his chest.

Suddenly Kyle's vision changed its focus like he had been forced through a dim tunnel and shot from the end into bright daylight. Nicole's own eyes widened in shock as she saw his pupils contract in an instant. He recoiled from her, yet didn't seem to be able to see her properly.

Kyle felt the sharp stab of separation in his heart as Amanda suddenly disappeared and in her place stood a darker face. She looked familiar but Kyle couldn't place her. His thoughts were sticking together in clumps. The girl walked straight past him and he turned his head to follow her movement as she walked up to a heavy door and began to pull at the handle. It rattled loudly in his head, too loudly; so loudly it made his ears ring. He clenched his hands over them to dull the sound.

"Open it, Kyle," the girl sounded desperate.

Then he recognised her. "Jessi! What are you doing?"

"They're almost there! If we don't stop them, they'll break through. If they find out I don't know what's behind it, they will kill me! You have to open this door, Kyle! You have to beat them to it!" she shouted in desperation and hammered her fists on it. Kyle felt each booming thud as though it were connected to his very soul.

Nicole jumped as Kyle cried out again, his hands pressing hard against his ears. "I can't, Jessi, I don't know _how_ to open it!"

"We both know the key, but you're the only one who can turn it," Jessi whined in pain, which quickly turned to a scream of agony. "Help me! I don't want to tell them!"

"Where are you?" Kyle called back to her in desperation then caught the tail end of her reply as her tortured voice burned the answer into his mind before she disappeared completely.

oooOooo

Kyle sat bolt upright on the sofa and cried out, "Jessi! They've got Jessi. They're hurting her!" He blinked and his eyes focussed on Nicole only inches away from his face. He was breathing heavily and realised he was unconsciously rubbing his chest with clenched fists.

"Sshh! It's okay, you were just dreaming," Nicole soothed, gently forcing Kyle to lie back down on the sofa. "You had another seizure a few minutes ago." She laid a hand on his chest and felt his heart thumping wildly.

Kyle felt the rush of adrenaline coursing round his body. His breath came in shallow gasps and his muscles were trembling. His eyes felt gritty and dry and when he blinked a few times, they began to sting and water. He looked up into Nicole's face. "Jessi is alive."

Nicole didn't know how to convince him he was only dreaming. She knew how much Jessi's suicide had hurt him. She shook her head sadly and took a breath to speak.

"Tell them, Kyle," Declan cut in.

Kyle looked up at Declan and remembered why he had left his room earlier. His memory seemed to be returning. He was going to tell Foss about Jessi. He thought a moment then searched out Foss with his eyes. "Jessi is alive," he stated again. "She and I are connected somehow. She has been communicating with me. She was just now." Everyone suddenly arched their eyebrows with the exception of Declan and Lori.

Foss noticed then studied Kyle for a long moment, his face unreadable. "That's impossible! Nobody could have survived that fall," he exclaimed.

Kyle shook his head. "Not true. I calculated that if she had abilities similar to mine, there was a chance she would survive, but it would be unlikely." Kyle's head swam momentarily.

Foss considered what Kyle was saying. "So…What does she want?"

Kyle sighed, tired and drained. "It's a bit difficult to explain, but there is a part of my mind that is shut off. It's protected, like behind a firewall. It's kind of like there's a locked door in my head," he said tentatively. "She obviously couldn't get past it either. But she wants me to open it before they find out she doesn't know what's behind it. She said they would kill her, and that even though she knows _how_ to open it, _I'm_ the only one who can do it. She said she doesn't want to tell them…" Kyle gasped as the realisation dawned on him. …_About the key_. Amanda! If Madacorp found out….

"Who's 'they'?" Foss asked, his face deadly serious, a million things going on behind his steely eyes.

Kyle shook his head, not wanting to talk about it any longer. He didn't want to tell anyone what he knew about Amanda's connection to him. It was private. He didn't want to utter one word about her in case someone overheard that shouldn't be listening. He didn't want to think that anything terrible could ever happen to her. He wanted to lock her away in his heart and keep her safe. He felt paralysed with fear.

"Kyle?" Declan joined in. "Where is Jessi?"

Kyle swallowed down a hard lump in his throat and looked at Foss. "Madacorp. She's at Madacorp."

Foss paled and fixed his eyes on Stephen, who looked completely confused. The two men frowned and said in unison, "The C.I.R….They've put her in the chair."

Kyle swung his legs over the side of the sofa and felt the world shift a bit. "I have to help her!"

"Are you crazy?" said Declan. "You can't go walking into Madacorp!"

"No, but _I_ might be able to," said Stephen.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Powwow - Part 3_)


	29. Powwow Part 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Here's the next bit! Really sorry for the delay, but I've had a pretty disastrous week (which I won't go into in public!). Had big plans to upload 3 chapters, but can only upload this one for now. Hope you like it - apologies in advance for the somewhat 'technical' aspect to this chapter, but it's kind of necessary!! Please continue to let me know your thoughts. Thank you so much for the reviews - you're all so lovely. (28Jan08)

(Previous chapter: _Powwow – Part 2_)

* * *

Chapter 29:  
**Powwow (Part 3)**

Kyle fought to stay focused on the conversation, but his woozy head wouldn't listen. He was having more and more difficulty stringing thoughts together coherently. The seizure had left him drained and confused, and he had already been pushing his limits before that. Jessi's screams resonated in his mind, haunting him and preventing him from falling into a much-needed sleep. He couldn't let Madacorp take her away; she was the only other person who knew what it was like to be different in the ways that he was. And she was surrounded by people who didn't care about who she really was; they only cared about what she could do. He was the only person she had who cared about what happened to her.

He blinked hard and tried to stand, but he was too weak; his energy reserves, both mental and physical, were severely depleted. Nicole pushed him gently back down onto the sofa. He felt empty, yet nauseous, and realised he hadn't eaten anything since he had been in the diner with Jessi the day before. His stomach grumbled angrily, but the last thing he wanted was food.

Everyone had seated themselves around the room and spoke quietly. The atmosphere was heavy with anxiety and the mood was sombre. Kyle was aware of Nicole hovering nearby like a mother bear poised to defend her injured cub. His Swiss cheese mind was unable to sustain his ultra hearing long enough to hear above the buzzing in his ears without giving him a headache. He could do little else but lie there and absorb as much of what was being said as possible; he really didn't want to provoke another seizure. He rolled onto his side so that he could see everyone and rested his head on his elbow, trying not to show just how miserable he was feeling. Lori sat next to Declan on one arm of the sofa opposite, while Josh sat on the other arm, next to Stephen. Foss sat in the armchair, upright and alert as always. Everyone looked very serious.

"Listen to me," Stephen said, half watching Nicole fussing over Kyle, pulling a small blanket over him. "Ballantine and Emily Hollander don't know that I know anything about Kyle and Jessi's disappearance. They know Jessi's back, and they probably know from her that she was with Kyle. But Jessi doesn't know what happened after she jumped into the falls. I could go in to work as usual and disable the chair."

"But none of the kids were at school today. If Ballantine or Emily check up they'll know something's up," Nicole added as she tucked the blanket around Kyle's legs. Stephen frowned.

"You could send Lori and Josh back tomorrow saying the family came down with something over the weekend. You could explain that Kyle's still sick," he said. Nicole nodded, only half convinced.

"But even if you get into Madacorp," Foss remarked, his brow creasing, "how would you disable the chair? We have to assume it's being operated by someone else if the girl is undergoing the process like Kyle says."

Stephen thought a moment. "True. And when I went in yesterday to check out my system because it hadn't been shut down properly, I found the diagnostics had been erased from the test, and I was shut out of the server."

Declan cleared his throat. "I guess that's that then."

"Not necessarily," Stephen continued. "Don't forget that I helped to develop the software, and we developers always like to create a back door. I didn't have time to investigate the system yesterday because Emily was eager to get me out of there. But I still have a copy of the software here at home from when I was working on it the other night. Now that I know what has happened, I could hack into the system via the back door I created. I could destroy the backup system, isolate the program that controls the neural feeds then reverse them. That would corrupt the way the computer reads the information it's receiving from the chair."

"You can't do that," Kyle said groggily from the sofa. All eyes went to him. "If you reverse the neural feeds, you'll cause Jessi's neural impulses to double back on her. The shock would kill her." Josh, who was genuinely interested in what was going on, was thankful Kyle was talking in language he could just about understand.

Stephen thought about what Kyle had said and nodded sadly in agreement. "I hadn't thought of that," he murmured. "I was concentrating so much on the extraction process, I forgot that the chair is capable of feeding information back _into_ the subject's brain. This invention has a huge capacity to help patients with memory disorders, but it's obviously open to abuse by people with darker motives."

"I think that's already happened," Kyle muttered unhappily. "That must be how they programmed false memories of her past into Jessi's mind in the first place." Everyone paused for a long moment.

"And God knows what else they've put in there," Lori muttered under her breath. Declan looked up at her and agreed.

"What about injecting some kind of virus into the system? Couldn't that be done remotely?" Declan suggested.

Stephen shook his head. "The whole system is effectively a sealed unit, no access from the outside at all. That's why I would need to do this from my work station." Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Wait a minute…" He looked over at Kyle. "How about if the neural feeds were rerouted directly to the backup system, effectively bypassing the whole data retrieval core?"

"That could work," Kyle said quietly, processing what Stephen had said as best he could.

Stephen became animated as he continued. "Then I could remove the backup access codes and prevent anyone else from getting into the system. While they're all trying to figure out where the data's gone, I could introduce a program that'd cause the whole system to disconnect from Jessi, erase itself and shut down. By the time they realised what was going on it would be too late. The files would all be irretrievably corrupted and the C.I.R. would be permanently disabled."

Kyle winced as he lifted his head and replied, "ZZYZX also had the technology to interpret neural impulses, but that information is now locked inside my head. If Madacorp hasn't already translated the information downloaded from the copy in Jessi's head, then we stand a chance of eradicating the data permanently by destroying the C.I.R. operating system. I would then have the only copy of all the research and development. They wouldn't be able to rebuild it for however long it took them to develop it. If at all."

"But the girl would still have the information in her head too," Foss interjected. "The chair doesn't erase memories, it records them." There was a strange expression on his face before he looked down and worried at a loose fibre on his shirtsleeve.

"But it could mimic the erasure of memories if the original memories are covered over by channelling blank data streams back into the subject's brain through the neural input feed." Kyle responded. "That way the neurons in the brain would reroute and bypass the blank areas altogether. It would be like there had never been any memories there in the first place; not even the C.I.R. would be able to find them. But you would have to make sure that was done _before_ disconnecting from Jessi." Nicole unconsciously gasped at the implications of this amazing technology and how open it was to abuse.

Suddenly Declan asked, narrowing his eyes, "Hang on, Foss, how would _you _know that the chair records memories?" His tone oozed suspicion. Foss obviously knew more about Madacorp than he was letting on and Declan wanted to know how.

Stephen, however, remembered all too well seeing Brian Taylor leaning over a helpless Tom Foss who was strapped into the chair. Stephen hadn't witnessed the actual live integration test on Foss, but he could tell it hadn't been a pleasant experience for him. Ballantine had ordered the use of maximum power despite Stephen's calls for a halt to the test because of power surging issues. He'd had no idea at that point that the system was being tested on Foss.

Stephen was no biologist, but he had been consulting with plenty of them on the project long enough to have gleaned the basics. He knew that running that kind of power through the C.I.R. would cause extreme neuron stimulation, and if continued for any length of time, it would lead to eventual neuron damage and ultimately brain death. Unless the subject were rendered unconscious, the pain would be horrendous, which is why a cocktail of pain relieving drugs, muscle relaxants and a mild sedative had to be given intravenously before testing. Unconsciousness would impair the whole process, so the subject had to remain awake. And if the subject resisted the C.I.R. the stress on the body would be greatly increased.

Stephen decided to spare Foss the discomfort of having to relive the experience publicly. "Go easy, Declan. He knows because he was the first live test subject," he said quietly. "An unwilling one."

Everyone's eyes widened and looked at Foss, but Kyle's most of all. Declan caught Kyle's eye and his own guilt was reflected there. Foss had been captured by Madacorp security as he, Kyle and Declan were trying to leave the building after retrieving Kyle's special ring from Ballantine. Foss had sacrificed himself to let the two boys escape. Kyle could see it in Foss' body language that Ballantine had tortured him with the C.I.R. He looked at the man in horror. Foss' eyes met his briefly before turning away to look at Stephen.

"Kyle must _never _be put into that chair," Foss stated adamantly.

Kyle swallowed hard. "Jessi shouldn't be in it either." The thought made him very angry. He remembered her screams and felt the blood draining from his face as he realised she must have been resisting the C.I.R. Had Foss screamed too? Kyle shuddered. What terrible damage was being done to the people around him, because of what he carried in his head? What could possibly be worth all that pain? He lowered his head onto his arm once more and closed his eyes to stop the room from spinning. Guilt began to gnaw at his edges.

Nicole noticed the change in him. "Kyle?"

Kyle opened his eyes, but Nicole was fading in and out of focus. He shook his head to try and clear it, but it only served to make things wobble even more. "Could I please have a glass of water?" he asked weakly.

Nicole nodded and walked swiftly towards the kitchen. Kyle closed his eyes and fought back the dizziness that was making him feel so sick. He couldn't hear anyone clearly and the holes in his mind seemed to expand and contract with his heartbeat. Amanda was there, telling him it was okay to say how he was feeling. He tried to open his mouth to tell her he loved her; she said something back to him but he couldn't hear it. Everything went black. He was terrified and alone in a deafening silence.

Suddenly he felt something touch his hand and he flung it out in defence as he snapped his eyes open. Everything seemed to go into extreme slow motion: Nicole's eyes widened in surprise as she dropped the glass of water she had been holding for Kyle. It tipped in the air and the contents fell onto his chest. The shock of the cold liquid against his skin jarred something deep inside his mind. Something whooshed upwards from the depths like an arctic wind. The secret door in his mind rattled with the momentum. Kyle sensed the molecules of the liquid against his skin, could sense its temperature and density. He wanted to cry out in frustration, because he couldn't remember something he knew that was important; but he had no voice. He laid his hand on his soggy T-shirt and felt the water. He looked up, his head heavy and difficult to move, and saw that everything was moving at a fraction of the normal speed. What was happening? Was he unconscious again? Was he having another seizure?

Kyle's eyes fixed on the glass that seemed to be tumbling so slowly it appeared to hover in mid-air just above his chest. He raised his hand, curled his fingers around the object, and held it in place. Something nagged at him, pulsating in his deepest core. The water. He recognised the feeling, he'd had it several times since Jessi had jumped, but he couldn't remember its significance. He remembered when Nicole had been cleaning his wound, how he had tasted the water on his lips and felt something stir inside him. When he had been remembering his very first tears while watching Amanda play the piano, he had experienced the same sense of knowing something, but not being aware of what it was. Tears; salt water; the ZZYZX tank; the swimming pool; the bath; raindrops; Victor Falls. What was it about the water on his chest? He should know!

Then out of the silence in his mind, a familiar voice thundered: _Not the glass, the water inside the glass._ A channel opened inside him like a floodgate, and an intense sensation flowed from deep inside his head. It was full of feeling and it almost hurt. Unlike in the past, this time it felt easy to see what he had to do. It had been ridiculously simple all along. Kyle fixed his eyes on the soaking wet patch on his chest and reversed the directional flow of the molecules in his mind's eye.

Josh had happened to glance over as his mom had entered the room with the glass of water and had seen Kyle flinch and knock the glass from her hand. It was what happened next that had him gawping. Before the glass had even hit his chest, Kyle had grabbed it with reflexes so fast it was almost a blur. Then the water that had spilled onto his chest seemed to rise up into a swirling ribbon. Upwards it moved, undulating and spinning, until it curled and splashed back into the glass as though it were being poured from a bottle. It was over so quickly Josh wasn't even sure he had seen it at all.

"Whoa!" he shouted, pointing at Kyle holding the glass aloft with a shaky hand. "Did you see that?"

Everyone was looking at Kyle in awe, but Kyle was oblivious. He immediately drew the glass down and gulped the water to quench his extreme thirst. It eased the emptiness in his stomach. He then held the glass out for Nicole, who stood agog, and thanked her weakly.

Everything suddenly felt very heavy, and Kyle couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. His last thought, before he let go of all resistance, was that of Amanda's piano music, which stirred something frightening inside him and caused him to push her roughly away to keep her safe. Kyle felt his heart break as he put a necessary distance between them. Blackness descended in that instant.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Sanctuary_)


	30. Sanctuary

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Hello lovely readers! Once again, thanks for taking the time to leave your comments. Appreciated, as always. Here's the next offering…hope you enjoy it. Please let me know whether it's a yay or nay! Next one soon – it's nearly done. (02Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Powwow – Part 3)_

* * *

Chapter 30:  
**Sanctuary**

_Learning about life since leaving the tank at ZZYZX had been a constant challenge for me. But learning about love was proving to be far more complicated. My heart was struggling to stay afloat with all the pain I had caused the people around me, and even the pain some of them had caused me. But my worst dilemma came with Amanda. I was fighting with myself, wondering what to do to keep her safe. If I kept our connection alive, I was inviting terrible danger into her life. But if I severed the connection in order to protect her, I was inviting pain like nothing I had ever felt before. I already felt Amanda's absence deeply in my heart, and she had been gone only a few hours. I wondered; did she feel the same way? Did I have the right to make a decision like that for her? I desperately needed to nurse the wounds already suffered, and prepare for those that were yet to come before my heart broke completely. I needed sanctuary. _

Kyle heard the music and saw the moon glowing in the dark sky beyond the surface of the water under which he was walking. Before long his head broke the surface then his shoulders, his torso and finally his legs as he waded onto the shore. He felt clumsy as he dripped and staggered away from the lapping water, eyes fixed on the dazzling moon. He looked down and saw the water roll off his naked body like ecdysis, leaving his skin new and dry. The music seemed familiar and he found himself able to put words to the melody before he began to cough, choking on the strange air that filled his lungs. He didn't feel like he would be able to catch enough breath as cough after cough wracked his body. He became aware of a pain growing in his lower abdomen that worsened with each chest spasm. Suddenly a deep voice boomed across the sky and called his name: _Kyle! _He cowered in fear, remembering stories about Amanda's God speaking to people from the sky. _Kyle!_ He remembered that God was referred to as 'Father'. Was that why He sounded like Stephen? _Kyle! _Light began to infiltrate the darkness instantly and where the moon had hung in the dark sky, a face began to appear.

Kyle opened his eyes wider and found Stephen peering down at him in the dimly lit lounge. "Here, you were coughing. Thought you could do with this," he said, proffering a glass of water.

Kyle looked up at him, bemused. He felt like someone had taken his head off and put it on backwards. He blinked a few times to clear the heaviness from his eyes then tried to swallow; his tongue was dry and his throat felt like sandpaper. He propped himself up on his elbow and wrapped his fingers round the glass. His hand was trembling so badly, however, that Stephen had to help him hold it while he took a long draft. The water was cold and made him cough again before it finally settled happily into his very empty stomach. When he'd had enough, Stephen patted him on the shoulder, set the glass down on the coffee table next to the laptop computer he had been working on and perched on the edge of the sofa.

"How are you feeling?" he asked while studying Kyle's face carefully, still marvelling at the absence of the split lip.

Kyle looked around to reorient himself. The drapes were closed and the room was dark apart from a small table lamp at the end of each sofa. He was covered with three blankets where before there had been only one. He could hear soft talking coming from the dining room then sat upright so that he could see over the back of the sofa; he found Nicole, Lori and Josh seated at the table eating a meal. He looked back up at Stephen in confusion.

"You've been asleep, Kyle. Almost eight hours straight," Stephen answered the unspoken question on Kyle's face. "You feeling any better for it?"

Kyle took another moment to process what Stephen had said and hoped that the strange visions he had been having in his head had simply been a dream. And once he thought about it, he did feel a bit better for the rest. He managed a nod then winced as his bladder cramped. "I need the bathroom," he said quietly.

"Sure," Stephen responded, and helped him stand. Once he was steady on his feet, Stephen let go. "Need any help?"

Kyle shook his head, a little embarrassed at the memory of being shown how to use the toilet properly. "Thank you, but I'm fine now." He staggered slowly from the room and started cautiously up the stairs. Watching him go reminded Stephen also of those early days when Kyle had seemed so like a toddler.

"Just shout if you need help," Stephen called after him, returning to the table. "Guess he was just dreaming. He seems okay," he said in response to his family's expectant faces. "And he certainly _looks_ better."

"What do you suppose he was saying?" Josh piped up, keeping his voice low.

"Sounded more like singing to me," Lori added, not really interested, but putting in her opinion anyway.

Stephen shrugged. "Who knows? It was probably just something he'd heard on the internet or something. You know how he is." However, it was hard to dismiss anything when Kyle was involved, and he had already impressed the family many times before by speaking phrases he had learned just by reading and listening. He was still able to recite entire chunks from the script for _Enter the Dragon_ in Chinese on one hearing!

"Or maybe it was a secret code, like when he was hypnotised that time?" Josh persisted, excited by the prospect of more Kylisms. That was Josh's latest word for describing Kyle's idiosyncrasies.

"Josh, let's not go there right now," Stephen warned gently with a purse-lipped expression. He poured himself some coffee and said. "So. Are you two clear on what to say if anyone asks you about Kyle tomorrow at school?"

Josh rolled his eyes. "Dad, I'm not in third grade. Despite what you and Mom may think, I am actually capable of retaining several things in my memory for longer than an hour."

Stephen pursed his lips again. "I'll take that as a 'yes' then." He looked at his daughter. "Lori?"

Lori seemed a lot more pensive. Her eyes were distant. She was still reeling from the kiss Declan had given her by the front door as he had left. She wasn't sure what it meant. He hadn't kissed her like that for a long time. In fact, he hadn't kissed her like that ever! _Lori? _Stephen's voice broke her reverie as his question seeped into her brain and she said, "Sure, Dad. We're not to mention anything about what Kyle has told us. And if anyone asks where he is, we're to say he's at home recovering from the same sickness we've had over the weekend." She sounded like she was reciting something from a really boring book.

"And?" Nicole added.

Lori frowned and looked at Josh. Josh read the expression and shot her one of his 'you owe me one' faces. "And we're to come straight home after I finish work at The Rack. _Together_," he stated, a self-satisfied grin on his face.

"Good," Stephen finished and began to pick at some more salad.

Josh eyed him, looked at Lori then said, "And what about you, Dad?"

Stephen's eyes widened in surprise before he decided to play along for the sake of family solidarity. He winked at Nicole and said, "I will go into work in the morning and make my excuses about not being there today, because I was nursing the rest of you. I will then discreetly execute the new programming for the C.I.R. that I'm writing right now. Then I will excuse myself, saying I must be coming down with the family sickness."

Just then Kyle appeared from the hall. He had a blush to his cheeks that had been absent since Declan had brought him home from the forest. His hair was damp and raked back and there were water splashes on his T-shirt; he had obviously freshened up in the bathroom. His eyes were slightly puffy with sleep, but generally he looked much better. He stood a moment to observe his family then frowned as he approached his chair at the table. He sat.

"Kyle, my main man," said Josh trying to lighten the atmosphere. "So tell me, how did you do that water-back-in-the-glass thing?"

Kyle thought a moment. "I…I…so that wasn't a dream?" Josh shook his head. Kyle shrugged. "I don't know. I don't really remember. I wasn't really thinking about it." He was too distracted to discuss it further and looked around. "Where's Foss? And Declan?" he asked seriously, concerned, fearing they had gone off to do something dangerous.

Stephen cleared his throat. "Tom became very anxious when we were talking about the C.I.R. and just after you fell asleep–"

"More like passed out," Josh interjected with a snort. Nicole gave him a scolding with her eyes.

"_F__ell asleep_," repeated Stephen pointedly. "After Hillary called Lori, Tom suddenly said he had to go, and that he would get in touch with you when he'd taken care of some urgent business. He left you his cell phone. Said you'd had to ditch yours."

Kyle frowned and adjusted his posture on the chair. He sensed something was wrong. Everyone's heart rates had increased. "And Declan?" he asked.

"They were fighting again," Lori explained. "Then after Tom Foss left, Declan said he needed to get home to sort stuff out with his dad, and to get changed into his own clothes." She finished with, "He said yours were too _Kyle!_"

"But what about Jessi?" Kyle asked, scanning all the faces. "We have to help her!" Nicole frowned and looked at Stephen. Kyle noticed. "What? Has something happened to her?" He was on the verge of standing up when Nicole laid a hand on his arm.

"Kyle," she began. Kyle knew that tone; it meant she was about to tell him something he wasn't going to like. She watched him, and patted his arm as she said, "Kyle…You were right about her being alive…but Jessi doesn't need saving. At least, not today, anyway."

Kyle swallowed into, "What do you mean?"

"Hillary called me earlier to ask where I was," Lori interjected. "And she told me Jessi was at school today." She gave him an apologetic look.

Kyle's heart skipped a beat. "What?"

Nicole looked at him sympathetically. "Kyle, it's true." Kyle's eyes dragged away from Lori to Nicole.

"It is, Kyle," Josh added. Kyle's eyes then fell on him. "Andy called me and mentioned the same thing."

Kyle felt his mouth literally drop open; he didn't know what to say. Was he really going mad? Had the connection with Jessi been the result of a scrambled Swiss cheese super brain after all? Had everything he had experienced since Jessi jumped been a figment of his desperate imagination? Was the memory of kissing Amanda just a fantasy too? Maybe he hadn't been kissing her at all; if that were true then maybe he hadn't really hurt her arms either. He stared down at his hands, trying desperately to formulate something intelligible to say. Nothing came to mind at all. Had it all been a lie he had told himself to avoid the pain of Jessi's betrayal and his own powerlessness? He swallowed with difficulty.

"Kyle," Nicole empathised. "We're not doubting that you and Jessi are connected; there is no doubt about that from the evidence we've gathered already, but it seems unlikely that Jessi was being held by Madacorp in the C.I.R. if she was seen by people at school today." Kyle still looked into his lap. "Maybe the trauma of seeing Jessi jump, and your inability to stop her, manifested in your mind as…what you told us...because you felt so strongly that you needed to save her."

Kyle's head snapped up then and he met Nicole's eyes. Was she really telling him that he might have made it all up as a way of expressing his distress? "You think I'm…lying?"

Nicole sagged. "No, that's not what I mean at all. It's just that sometimes the mind can mask a painful memory by changing it into something more…manageable…as a way of coping with the difficult feelings. You _know_ all this; I explained it to you months ago when we were trying to recover your first memories."

He remembered those conversations with Nicole. "Of course I remember. But this is different. Jessi jumped into that waterfall. I saw her! And last night she did communicate with me…in my head...and…" That's all he could think of to say as his mind struggled to comprehend itself. While he was lost in confusion, Lori had placed a few chunks of cold chicken and some salad on a plate and put it in front of him. He looked down at the food and thanked her with his eyes.

"You're welcome," she said softly, quite clearly feeling awkward for him.

Kyle picked up his fork with a shaky hand and prodded a small chunk of the cold chicken. He raised it to his mouth and eased it off the fork with his teeth. It felt odd to be eating, but as he swallowed the food it made his stomach rumble. He realised he was very, very hungry. He continued to eat slowly, and in silence, feeling his family's eyes on him, watching and waiting. Then something struck him.

"What about Emily?" He blurted. "She called me, remember, when Jessi went missing? She told me they would hurt her family if I didn't bring Jessi back."

"Kyle, we know there is something going on with Jessi, but we have no proof of what that might be," Nicole tried so hard not to sound like she was going against him, but it was hard.

"But Jessi knows who she really is now. Emily told her all of it. Jessi even told me herself that Madacorp wanted her to get inside my head!" Kyle tried hard to keep calm. He needed his family to believe him. "And she did!" he raised his voice and it cracked a little.

"Kyle," Stephen said, and saw the desperation in Kyle's eyes as he looked at him. "I'm going into work in the morning to check out the situation. I already know that Emily and Ballantine are not being honest because of what they did to Tom Foss. I am going to put the C.I.R. project out of commission before they can hurt anyone else. They won't be able to hurt Jessi, or you, and it'll all be over by the time I get home."

Kyle swallowed down some more food with difficulty, then said, "I can help you."

"No, Kyle, you can't! I don't want you anywhere near that chair," Stephen almost shouted. He put his hand on Kyle's arm in apology. "You're safer here."

Kyle held Stephen's gaze a moment longer then lowered his eyes back to his plate and moved some lettuce around with his fork. He felt his heart sinking. He didn't feel very safe, despite Stephen's reassurances.

Stephen removed his hand from Kyle's arm, and raising his coffee cup to his mouth, said, "I just wish I knew what the connection is between Madacorp and ZZYZX, and where Brian Taylor fits into all this?"

Taylor. The mention of his name triggered a memory in Kyle. It surfaced quickly and he ran it with holographic precision in a heartbeat. It provided him with a possible answer to Stephen's question. He kicked himself for not having made the connection much sooner then looked at Stephen intensely. "Maybe Taylor _is_ Madacorp," he muttered.

"What?" Stephen pulled the coffee cup away from his lips without taking a sip.

"I've just remembered something Adam Baylin said to me," Kyle continued. "The very first time I met Taylor, Adam said," and Kyle ran his memory so that he got it word perfect, " 'Taylor's managed to turn my dreams into reality. He brings any useful ideas I have to the outside world.' I should have made the connection before – even the name within 'Madacorp'…is 'Adam' spelled backwards. And Adam created ZZYZX, he told me that. Taylor also told me that he and Adam grew up together."

Stephen's face was still as he mulled over what Kyle had just said. It made more than a little sense. The connection between Taylor, Madacorp and ZZYZX was there in those short sentences.

Kyle's eyes went dark. "Adam also left a cryptic message for me, which I got long after he had been shot: that I was not to trust Taylor. But he didn't explain why. Maybe now we know. Someone at Madacorp is using Adam's inventions for purposes other than Adam intended."

"And my guess is that 'someone' is Taylor," Stephen added. "He certainly knew what Ballantine was up to, although he didn't seem to agree with Ballantine's methods when I overheard him talking to Tom Foss when he was strapped into the chair."

"Oooh, and the plot thickens," Josh interjected, waggling his fingers in feigned excitement.

"This isn't a joke, Josh!" Kyle blurted before he could stop himself.

Josh recoiled. "No offence, Kyle, but why would Adam Baylin tell you not to trust Brian Taylor if he did?"

"I don't know!" Kyle cried, holding his head. It was all beginning to worm its way inside him, worrying at every fear that threatened to send him over the edge.

"And how does Jessi fit into all of this? Why did Baylin never mention her to you?" Nicole had been quiet until this point in the discussion. "Do you think it's possible that he didn't know about her?"

Kyle looked up at her, stricken. Surely Adam would have told him about Jessi if he had known? And why hadn't Foss ever mentioned her? He worked at ZZYZX for years. Surely he knew of Jessi's existence? Something wasn't right about all of it, but Kyle couldn't see past it. He needed to get away from all of the questions that were starting to flood into his mind all over again, leaving him feeling insecure and frightened, just like a year ago. Just like a few hours ago.

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to go to my room," he muttered unhappily. Without waiting for permission, he rose and left the table without looking back.

Kyle closed the door to his room and leaned against it. He felt strange, but not light-headed like he had earlier in the day. His stomach was happier, too, now that it had some food in it. His heart, however, weighed very heavy in his chest. Fatigue still made his limbs feel shaky and suddenly he felt very weary. He stripped from his clothes and slipped into some jogging pants and a grey T-shirt. The cool fabric against his skin made him shiver.

He was just about to climb into his tub when he spied two items in there: the cell phone from Foss and an envelope with his name in Amanda's handwriting. She must have slipped it into the tub while they were talking earlier. He bent down and retrieved the envelope first. Inside he found a CD wrapped in a piece of pink paper. Kyle's eyes began to fill up before he had even unfolded the note; he missed Amanda terribly, but wanted so desperately for her to remain safe. The note read simply:

_Dear Kyle,_

_For you, for believing in me. A recording of the three piano pieces that got me into the conservatory. I will miss you every day. _

_Amanda._

Kyle folded the note as Amanda had done, and held it against his cheek. It had her smell. He closed his eyes and imagined she was standing in front of him. A million tiny sparks seemed to burst inside him as he felt for her with his mind. He could almost sense her heartbeat, though he wasn't entirely convinced that it wasn't just a trick of his muddled mind. He walked over to his CD player and popped the disc into it. Warmth spread inside him as the familiar notes of Pachelbel's Canon in D, Amanda's favourite piece, rose into the air around him.

Kyle returned to the tub, picked up the cell phone then climbed in. As the music swelled in his head, his heart rate picked up. He remembered the very first time he had heard Amanda playing it; how he had felt the incredible and simultaneous euphoria and pain that had moved him to tears as he stood behind the being that was generating the amazing sound. Then she had turned around at the sound of his sobs. Her beauty had frightened him, even then. He had known the moment he laid eyes on her that there was something different about Amanda; he knew that his reaction to her was special before he'd even understood what feelings were. The music tore at the part of him that missed hearing her voice and he really wanted to talk to her. He suddenly felt very lonely.

He looked down at the phone in his hand and decided to send her a text message. His fingers tapped away: _This is my new number. Hope you got to NY safely. Thank you for the CD. I love... _He thought very hard, then tapped: _…it. Kyle. _Telling Amanda the depth of his feelings would only serve to make the necessity of keeping her distant even harder. He ached to tell her, to whisper it into her ear, just for her. The music tailed off, reaching its conclusion just as Kyle hit the 'send' button. He clutched the phone to his chest and slid down into the tub, pulling up his cover.

As he adjusted his pillow, the next track began to play. The music was familiar to him, though he had never heard Amanda play it before. It was the piece that was on the CD that Foss had often played to him while he lay in the incubation chamber at ZZYZX: Chopin's Nocturne No.8 it had said on the CD Foss had kept at the warehouse. The music conjured images from the ZZYZX security cameras that Kyle had once believed to be memories. He could see himself lying in the chamber, suspended physically and mentally. He looked so peaceful in there.

He felt for the sides of his tub with his senses and suddenly realised he had found his sanctuary; the place he needed to be to work things out and to feel safe from all the pain on the outside. Here, with the music that touched him, he could free himself from everything that worried him. He let the music pervade every corner of his soul as his breathing slowed along with his heart rate. For the first time in weeks, Kyle began to relax. He started to truly understand what Amanda had meant when she said that music brought her clarity.

He was teetering on the edge of blissfully peaceful sleep, his mind drifting weightlessly, when the third track began. It was harsher, more complex, and he froze as it started. He had never heard the piece before that he could remember, and yet it seemed agonisingly familiar. The text alarm went off on the cell phone he still clutched to his chest. He managed to open the message before he lost control of his hand: _Arrived safely. Feel a bit lonely but the people seem nice. I really miss you. Do you miss me? _

Kyle couldn't move to reply, even if he'd known what to say. The complex phrases, the percussive, tinkling quality of the piano keys, and the shifting dynamics began to speak to something inside him. Literally. He lay there helplessly in terror as the music took over his mind.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Mental Notes_)


	31. Mental Notes

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Hi beautiful people! I've been horribly busy this week, but managed to grab a couple of hours to prep this one for upload. Hope you like it – please let me know! Next one coming soon hopefully. Guess a lot of you are just about to watch the next episode of the show (17) as I upload… I will catch up one of these days! (04Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Sanctuary_)

* * *

Chapter 31:  
**Mental Notes**

Nicole was exhausted as she sat with her head in her hands at the table while Lori and Josh cleared away the dinner things. The two of them had been remarkably good about everything that had happened, and they had only niggled each other marginally. She was proud of her children, though she wondered when the crash would come. Josh was trying to be the responsible son and brother, for once, and Lori was bottling up a lot of emotions. Nicole knew her daughter well enough to see her pushing it all aside in favour of less profound pursuits.

Stephen had excused himself and was sitting across the hall in the lounge tapping away on his laptop, altering the program he was intending to upload to the C.I.R. in the morning. He had taken charge of everything since Kyle had told them the truth, and Nicole knew that was Stephen's way of dealing with his own guilt and helplessness. He didn't want Kyle to be the one to put things right. She knew Stephen felt somehow responsible, at least in part, for the mess his family was in, having accepted the job at Madacorp; though he was really no guiltier of involvement with the events that had transpired than _any_ of them were.

Nicole studied his face as he concentrated on the laptop screen and thought it was a terrible shame that the job at Madacorp seemed to be nothing more than another cog in a machine that was steadily moving in on Kyle; Stephen had been so happy working on what he had genuinely believed to be a worthwhile pioneering project. She couldn't help but wonder how much more of their life would turn out to have been manipulated in some grand plot to take Kyle away and exploit him, either physically, mentally or both?

Kyle. How was she ever going to be able to help him come to terms with everything that had happened to him? With what he had discovered about himself? She was having serious difficulty with it all herself. She could see the boy hurting while struggling to do the right thing, as always; but lurking close to Kyle's surface was his suffocating fear. The calm, open and sensitive soul they had embraced, the one who had become a happy member of the family unit, had metamorphosed into a sad, neurotic time bomb armed with a power inside him that Nicole could not begin to understand. She found herself beginning to fear the boy she loved so deeply; and she feared everything that his existence in the world meant for his – no, for _their_ – safety. Her training hadn't provided her with any frames of reference for dealing with someone like Kyle, whose physiology and intellectual capacity probably far exceeded any other human being on earth. Except, maybe, for Jessi.

Nicole shuddered when she thought about Jessi. It was obvious that Kyle had been severely traumatised by whatever had transpired between them in the woods, even despite his knowledge that Jessi had survived the ordeal. She had betrayed his trust, which came as no surprise to Nicole, and yet Kyle was agonising over how to help the girl now that he knew they shared a history. However, Nicole's clinical knowledge of Jessi's psychological traits made her very uneasy. She had hoped never to have to tell Kyle what she knew about Jessi, her latest patient, because he had so wanted to believe he wasn't the only one in the world like himself. Nicole had always feared for Kyle's future, even before knowing the truth about him: his seemingly endless capacity for love was his greatest gift, but it was also his greatest undoing.

Nicole needed some time to recover from the intensity of the last twenty-four hours, but life never seemed to work that way. Now she found herself feeling guilty about Kyle. She contemplated how the poor boy had spent his short conscious life waking up to find himself in challenging situations: he had woken from the sixteen year coma in his incubation chamber to find himself in an alien world full of violence and betrayal. Even his first memories were of fear and murder. Then he had woken up after Jessi jumped into Victor Falls to find himself confronted with the full impact of that situation. Then Tom Foss had drugged him, and when he woke up from that he had to tell his family the truth. How hard that must have been for him, Nicole mused, admiring Kyle's deep sense of honour. Then, a little while ago, he had woken from a seizure-induced sleep to find that his family doubted what he had told them about Jessi being in danger at Madacorp.

Nicole's heart went out to him. She knew deep down that Kyle would not have lied to them had he felt he had the choice, so in her heart she knew he truly believed that Jessi was in danger. Nicole had to acknowledge that Jessi probably _was_ in danger, as was Kyle; they were both very special children. And there were many questions surrounding Jessi's living arrangements that bothered Nicole horribly. It was obvious things were not as they seemed; Nicole had picked up on that some time ago. Visions of Kyle's desperate expression just before he left the table came back to haunt her. He had switched off somehow, and her lack of reaction to that frightened her.

Guilt finally got the better of her, and Nicole rose from her chair and left the table. She went over to Stephen and kissed the top of his head. "I'm just going to check on Kyle," she said softly. "He was pretty upset."

"Sure, honey," Stephen said without looking away from his work.

She walked quietly to Kyle's room, past the kitchen where Josh and Lori busied themselves with their kitchen duties before retiring to their rooms. Nicole needed to see Kyle, to know that he was safe. She wanted him to know she still cared, even if she was tired and struggling with what he had told her. She stood outside the door and listened for a moment. Piano music was playing. She vaguely recognised the piece, but classical music was not something she listened to very often. This music, however, was different to that which Kyle usually played. This was more intense, choppy and…well, busy, frantic somehow; it was almost discordant in places also. Was that psychologically significant, she wondered? She knocked softly and waited. When there was no reply she dared to open the door and peer into the room.

The ambient light was dim, its only source being Kyle's small table lamp. The graphic equaliser on the CD player on his desk flashed and rippled with the dynamics of the music. She walked over and peered into the tub to find Kyle tucked up, apparently asleep. The dim lighting cast shadows across his face, but she could see that his eyes were moving rapidly under his eyelids suggesting that he was dreaming. He clutched his cell phone against his chest with his right hand, and on closer inspection, Nicole could see that his knuckles were almost white with the tightness of the grip. She bent down to remove the phone to place it on his little side table. To her surprise, it came away almost instantly, though his hand remained stiff and claw-like. Although she didn't intend to do it, she glanced down and saw the text message from Amanda. Her heart sank. Amanda's leaving was such unfortunate timing; Nicole knew how much Kyle felt for her. It was obvious he was going to feel the distance keenly.

Nicole gently tucked the cover around Kyle's body, covered one exposed foot then walked over to the CD player and switched it off. Suddenly Kyle sat bolt upright with a gasp, almost causing Nicole to scream. She spun round to see him staring at her, eyes wide and his face full of…she didn't know what.

"Kyle, you scared me!" she tried to say gently. "I just came in to check on you," she finished.

Kyle took a breath and blurted, "That music! It was…_speaking_ to me."

In that instant Nicole harked back to a little earlier when she had been musing about Kyle's unfortunate awakenings. Here seemed to be another.

"You were just dreaming," Nicole tried to explain.

"NO!" Kyle shouted. "I was NOT dreaming! Why do you think that everything that goes on in my head is a dream?" He couldn't contain his frustration in spite of himself.

Nicole was rather taken aback, not used to Kyle raising his voice, let alone at her. It was like he was a different person all of a sudden. "Kyle, I only meant–"

"I know what you meant," he agitated. "But you're wrong. That music did something to me, Nicole. I couldn't move. I tried to call you, but I couldn't speak either!" His breathing had picked up and he began to look flustered. "I wasn't asleep," he said less passionately, almost sadly. "I was seeing numbers and letters in my mind's eye. The music was generating them in my head."

"Is everything okay?" Stephen popped his head round the door.

Kyle felt embarrassed that he had shouted. He looked apologetically up at Stephen and said, "I'm sorry. I was just…dreaming." His eyes fell on Nicole then dropped to his lap.

Nicole looked at Stephen. "Everything's fine. Kyle called out in his sleep, that's all. You get back to what you were doing, I'll be out soon."

Stephen eyed them both, then smiled happily, "Okay. Night Kyle."

Kyle half smiled back as the door shut then the smile dropped from his face. He looked back up at Nicole. "I'm sorry," he said rather quietly, but sincerely. "I shouldn't have shouted at you. It's not your fault. I wouldn't believe me either."

Nicole dragged his desk chair over to the side of the tub. "Kyle," she said kindly, taking a seat on the chair. "I'm sorry too. You should be able to tell me anything you feel you need to. It's my job to listen, not to judge you. I really am sorry." She reached out and rubbed his shoulder gently.

"I'm scared, Nicole," Kyle blurted, breaking a long silence. "I don't understand what's happening to me. I just lost control of my body…and I think I'm already losing my mind."

Nicole gave him a sympathetic smile and replied, "I think you've just been under some incredible stress. What you've been experiencing is just your body's way of dealing with everything…and we don't really know how your body or mind works in comparison to…" She faltered.

"A normal person's," he finished the sentence for her. "It's okay, you can say it. I may not know what I _am_, Nicole, but I do know what I'm _not_."

Something about that remark made Nicole feel unbelievably sad. She desperately didn't want Kyle to feel that what made him different was a bad thing; it should be seen as a beautiful thing. "You are a very special person, Kyle. I don't mean just because of your differences. I have to admit that hearing everything you've told me has made me feel a little overwhelmed, but you need to know that I'm here for you, no matter what. I'm so sorry if I've been giving off negative signals. I'm just tired and worried, and not a little confused. I can't begin to imagine how _you_ must be feeling."

Kyle got to his knees and threw his arms around Nicole's neck, pulling her into a desperate embrace. "I never wanted to hurt any of you," he sniffed. "I just wanted to be with my family."

Nicole squeezed him close. "You _are_ with your family. And we will all get through this together. We just need to believe in each other." Her own words grated against something inside her and she felt compelled to add, "So let's start with you telling me what just happened to you. With the music."

Kyle pulled away and sat back in the tub studying Nicole. He looked unsure of himself as he began to recall the experience. "I was listening to the CD from Amanda – Oh no! Amanda! She sent me a text message and I couldn't reply to it because of the music! I need to ask her what the third piece was!" Kyle began to frantically feel around the tub for his cell phone.

Nicole reached across to the side table and handed it to him. Kyle tapped out the message: _What is the third piece of music on the CD?_ He hit 'send' and lowered the phone to his lap.

"About the music," Nicole began. "Are you sure you weren't just listening to it as you fell asleep then imagined it was doing something because you could still hear it in your dream?"

"I'm positive," Kyle replied. He thought a moment, frowning, "I would…put money on it?"

The expression sounded strange coming from his mouth. His whole life he had found the use of expressions very confusing, but one of his personal challenges was to learn them all and use them correctly. He had amassed quite a collection in his amazing memory, and was beginning to understand how useful they could be when other words just didn't seem to be enough. Their function was beginning to make sense to him at long last, though more often than not, the logic of the expressions themselves left him scratching his head: _'That's the kizzle dizzle'_ was one he had never adequately mastered in either meaning or usage.

He broke from his momentary lapse of concentration and looked back up at Nicole. "It's like the music started to unlock a code or something in my head."

Nicole pulled a strange face and shrugged. "Not my area of expertise, but what do you say to running it by Stephen? He might understand what you're saying a bit better."

Kyle felt a bit awkward, not wanting to be told he was imagining things again, but he finally nodded his agreement. "Okay," he said quietly.

oooOooo

Kyle sat as comfortably as he could on the sofa in the lounge while Nicole sat on one side of him, and Stephen popped the CD into the music system. Josh had overheard them talking about codes and wanted to witness a new _Kylism_ at work, but Nicole had ushered him upstairs. His protests made Kyle feel bad, so he talked Stephen and Nicole into letting Josh stay, so he sat on the chair next to the fire so that he could see everything. Lori had retreated to her room claiming not to be interested in seeing Kyle do something else she wouldn't be able to talk about in school the next day. Besides, she wanted to talk to Hillary and catch up on the day's gossip, pretending not to have any of her own to share. The truth was, Kyle's abilities actually freaked her out quite a bit, and she didn't want to see anything else that might distress herself, or Kyle, for a little while. This weekend had been hard enough to deal with.

"You ready?" Stephen asked Kyle.

Kyle looked apprehensive, but nodded anyway. He held Nicole's hand and said, "I'm ready."

This time he was ready; he was prepared to let the music play to the end so that he could get the entire message. Nicole had switched it off halfway through before, so nothing made any sense. He took a deep breath and was just about to give Stephen the signal, when his text alarm sounded. He looked apologetically at everyone while he retrieved the new message.

It was from Amanda and Kyle's heart sank as he read it: _I thought you would be missing me at least a little bit._ He had been so keen to find out the title of the piece of music that he had completely ignored Amanda's previous message. He felt terrible. Now he would have to admit to himself that he couldn't push her away. His fingers tapped the reply so fast that Josh's eyes were wide with wonder. _I always miss you. _Kyle hit the 'send' button and lowered the phone, once again preparing himself for the music, but wanting desperately instead to run into his room and call Amanda.

Once more Stephen went to start the music when another text came through. He rolled his eyes and Josh and Nicole let out loud breaths in unison as Kyle retrieved the message. They saw his face pale as he read it. _Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2. Very difficult piece. Speak soon. A._

Kyle rattled off a quick response to Amanda as Stephen asked, "Everything okay, Kyle?"

Kyle's eyes seemed to be far away as he looked up at Stephen. "That was Amanda. She just told me what the piece of music is and…"

"And what?" Stephen pushed gently.

"It's the key to the code," Kyle stated, stunned as his mind began to buzz with the numbers and letters that he had already gained on the first hearing. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "I can't tell you what it means until I've heard the whole piece, there are too many gaps in the equations."

"Okay then," Stephen said firmly. "Everyone be really quiet. This is it," and he hit the play button.

Approximately twenty-five seconds into the music, Kyle's head snapped up and his eyes rolled up into his head. He squeezed Nicole's hand hard, though she was sure he hadn't done it intentionally. She eased him against the back of the sofa and watched him closely, ready to signal Stephen to turn off the music if necessary.

As the music entered Kyle's brain through his auditory nerve pathways, it set off a chain reaction as millions of neurons were activated in a particular sequence. For almost nine minutes, Kyle's brain was alight with electrical impulses, sending millions of tiny pieces of information to various parts of the brain and reordering them in his cognitive centres. He could 'see' the equations generated by the mathematics in the music. He performed advanced calculations in the blink of an eye and logged the results in his memory just as quickly. It was simple logic at a fraction of the speed of a computer. When the music stopped, Kyle's eyes snapped open and his head buzzed with information.

Without uttering a word, he got up from the sofa and seated himself at Nicole's old desk in the corner of the room. He switched on the computer there and began tapping away on the keyboard. Everyone went over and stood behind him, peering over his shoulder at the screen in fascination. Kyle's fingers were almost a blur as he typed in a complex sequence of numbers and letters. Josh looked up at Stephen with a question on his face.

"He's writing a program by the looks of it," Stephen whispered, totally in awe of his adopted son's ability to do what he was doing with hardly any effort.

Kyle suddenly spoke. "I've already decoded it in my mind, but I'm not sure what I've got is correct, so I'm writing a verification program."

After a few minutes, Kyle typed in the words 'Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2' and hit the 'enter' key. The computer churned out a list of twenty-six numbers.

"You see these numbers?" Kyle said, clearly happy to be in his comfort zone. "These represent the letters of the alphabet." He pointed at the list. "This one is D, this one, M and so on." He brought up another list of numbers, this one much longer. "These numbers, also generated through the mathematics in the music, represent three-hundred-and-fifty-seven positions for the letters of the alphabet. So here," and he pointed to a group of numbers, "we have an E in position one, an S in position two, and so on." Kyle hit a key and a sequence of letters appeared:

ESFORMALTAVALAAZURISTENAZEMBERTAFOLDNEKPORABOLESLEHELLETTVALAAZOORRABAELETNEKEHELLETETIGYLONAZEMBERELOLELEKKEESMONDAISTENTEREMTSUNKEMBERTAMIKEPUNKREESHASONLATOSSAGUNKRAESURALKODJEKATENGERHALAINAZEGMADARAINABARMOKONMINDAZEGESZFOLDONESAFOLDONCSUSZOMASZOMINDENFELEALLATOKONTEREMTETEHATAZISTENAZEMBERTAZOKEPEREISTENKEPERETEREMTEOTFERFIUVAESASSZONYNYATEREMTEOKET

"Does that mean anything to you?" Stephen asked Kyle, squinting at the letters on the screen.

Kyle looked up at him and said, seriously, "Actually it does mean something." He hit another sequence of keys and the same jumble of letters appeared with strategic separations:

ES FORMALTA VALA AZ UR ISTEN AZ EMBERT A FOLDNEK PORABOL ES LEHELLETT VALA AZ O ORRABA ELETNEK EHELLETET IGY LON AZ EMBER ELO LELEKKE ES MONDA ISTEN TEREMTSUNK EMBERT A MI KEPUNKRE ES HASONLATOSSAGUNKRA ES URALKODJEK A TENGER HALAIN AZ EG MADARAIN A BARMOKON MIND AZ EGESZ FOLDON ES A FOLDON CSUSZO MASZO MINDENFELE ALLATOKON TEREMTE TEHAT AZ ISTEN AZ EMBERT AZ O KEPERE ISTEN KEPERE TEREMTE OT FERFIUVA ES ASSZONYNYA TEREMTE OKET

Stephen pursed his lips and shook his head. "Still nothing."

Kyle grinned. "It's Hungarian."

"You can read that?" Josh was amazed. "That is so cool!"

"So what does it mean?" asked Nicole, completely intrigued at this point. It was fascinating for her to see Kyle's amazing brain at work now that he didn't have to hide it.

Kyle began to input a new sequence of numbers and letters and suddenly some familiar words appeared:

AND THE LORD GOD FORMED MAN OF THE DUST OF THE GROUND AND BREATHED INTO HIS NOSTRILS THE BREATH OF LIFE AND MAN BECAME A LIVING SOUL AND GOD SAID LET US MAKE MAN IN OUR IMAGE AFTER OUR LIKENESS AND LET THEM HAVE DOMINION OVER THE FISH OF THE SEA AND OVER THE FOWL OF THE AIR AND OVER THE CATTLE AND OVER ALL THE EARTH AND OVER EVERY CREEPING THING THAT CREEPETH UPON THE EARTH SO GOD CREATED MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD CREATED HE HIM MALE AND FEMALE CREATED HE THEM

Stephen's jaw dropped as the words appeared. "It's from The Bible – Genesis, to be precise. It's from the story of The Creation. This is from Chapter 2 Verse 7," he pointed at the first couple of lines. "And this section is Chapter 1 Verse 26; and this one is Verse 27." Everyone looked at him in amazement. "Maybe it's a good thing my dad forced me to read the Bible until I was old enough to rebel!" he said.

"So, what is the significance of the message, apart from it being rather aptly about the creation of man?" asked Nicole, genuinely trying to help.

Kyle frowned, unable to answer the question. "That's what I'm not sure of. There's a part of the key missing, so I don't know what the message is. I've analysed everything I can, but without the rest of the key I can't get the message."

"How about trying the composer's name?" Lori said from the doorway, absently chewing on a snagged nail. "Sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing," she lied, having been sitting on the stairs after finishing her call with Hillary.

"It couldn't be that simple," said Josh. "Not after all this!"

Delight flooded Kyle's face as he said, "That's probably it, Lori!" Then his face dropped. "But does anyone know the composer?"

Josh shook his head in mock disgust. "Jeez, Kyle, for someone so brilliant, you really don't think very laterally do you? Look it up online, my superbrainless friend!"

Kyle felt justifiably stupid as he typed 'Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2' into the browser. A second later the words 'Franz Liszt' appeared. "That's it!" Kyle cried as his mind made the calculations in a second. He looked rather sheepishly at the rest of his family, who were struggling to keep up with him. "I'll just run it through the verification program to make sure I've got it right…because I don't know what it means anyway."

He tapped some more information into the computer and it generated a list of sixty-one pairs of numbers. "These are kind of like coordinates: the first number tells me which letter to use from the Hungarian passage. The second number tells me where to put it out of sixty-one possibilities." He punched a couple of keys and hit 'enter'. Then the true message that had been hidden within the music appeared on the screen:

SOMETHING OF GREAT SIGNIFICANCE TO YOU LIES IN THE STUDY OF OCEANOGRAPHY.

Kyle nodded. "That's what I thought it said."

"What does it mean?" asked Nicole.

"I have absolutely no idea," Kyle answered honestly.

"Who do you think it's from?" Josh added.

Stephen clapped a hand on Josh's shoulder. "Well, considering the passage is about the creation of Adam, my guess would be it's from Adam Baylin."

Kyle looked at him and nodded. "It's definitely like something Adam would do. But one thing bothers me. How did he do it? He had no access to me for fourteen years after he left ZZYZX."

"Does it matter?" asked Nicole, rubbing Kyle's back affectionately. "What matters is that you have the message now."

"I guess, but I wish I knew what it meant," Kyle yawned unexpectedly.

"I can read _that_ coded message," Stephen said with irony. "It means you should get yourself to bed. Maybe if you sleep on it something will come to you. If not, we'll worry about it tomorrow – I've got to finish this program, and Josh? You and Lori have school in the morning."

oooOooo

Back in his tub, Kyle switched off the table lamp and settled down. His head had stopped buzzing and he felt a little more comfortable than he had earlier. He closed his eyes and thought about Amanda. He had been trying to distance himself to protect her, but he found he couldn't do it. It then occurred to him that Jessi had been very 'quiet'. Maybe it _had_ been in his head? Or rather, in his imagination? He found himself spinning slowly towards sleep, too exhausted to worry about any of it. As he drifted deeper into a world where he and Amanda were holding hands and walking free of danger, another signal entered Kyle's room.

The text alarm went off. Half asleep, Kyle reached up and groped around, hitting the 'open message' button by mistake. He'd intended to turn the phone off, not wanting to be disturbed from his fantasies of Amanda. Without opening his eyes, he made a mental note to check it first thing in the morning as he pushed the 'off' button.

Kyle was asleep by the time the message faded completely: _Foss, remove Kyle._

* * *

(Next chapter: _Morning_)

(By the way, the Hungarian is real – and so is the principle of the code!!)


	32. Morning

**AUTHOR'S NOTES****:**

Hi people! Here's the next little chapter…By the way, bundles of thanks to my regular reviewers. You are all the best and I'm really so humbled by your appreciation of my vision. Also, many thanks to the few of you who have left comments for the first time. Incredibly much appreciated! I'd also like to encourage any other people out there who are following the story, but haven't given any feedback, to let me know what you make of it (you can do this anonymously if you feel better about that). Please don't be shy! I don't mind a bit of negative feedback either as long as it's constructive! I'm really curious to get a well-rounded sense of the readers' experience because I'm thinking of future projects. I'm keen to improve my skills, so please let me know how you feel… (08Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Mental Notes_)

* * *

Chapter 32:  
**Morning**

Kyle woke up early with a headache; his sleep had been deep and dreamless. His body generally felt better than it had for a couple of days, so he deduced that his deep sleep had been considerably beneficial. The pain in his head soon began to fade when he got out of his tub and began pacing around the room, even though he knew from experience that pacing wouldn't really help to solve any of his problems. The minute he had opened his eyes, his brain had started ticking, his holographic memory running over and over the piece of music and the coded message, searching inside and out, backwards and forwards, even upside down. It was all he seemed to be able to think about. It felt good to be using his mind in a way he was comfortable with; formulae, patterns and equations came so easily.

He admired Adam Baylin's ability to have planted the message in his mind in such a clever way, and yet something about that bothered him. If Adam had planted it deep in his subconscious mind to be triggered by that particular piece of music, what would have happened if he had never come across the piece? Or what if by hearing the piece already he had missed the proper window of opportunity in a carefully pre-planned sequence of events? It was both intriguing and unnerving. And what did oceanography have to do with anything? Kyle's brow wrinkled; he knew he was missing something…but what? Even the most brilliant mind on earth could not tie invisible things together with invisible string.

He could not bear the thought of staying at home all day worrying while Stephen went off to Madacorp, and while Lori and Josh went to school. He liked the idea of spending time with Nicole very much, but he had sensed strongly that she was in need of some solitude. He didn't want her to be worrying about him on top of everything else. The impact of his confessions to his family had been profound. He sighed and reached out gently with his mind and sensed that nobody else was moving around the house. He then made a decision: he would go to school with Josh and Lori. He wanted to see Declan, and to talk to Jessi to find out whether she really was okay, and how she had managed to survive such an incredible leap. He grabbed some clean clothes and padded quietly upstairs to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, hot water against his skin sent messages of pleasure into Kyle's brain as he stood under the shower. He shampooed his hair and watched the suds swirl around his feet after he had rinsed. He still got pleasure from watching what seemed to others to be the most mundane things. In reality Kyle would be analysing how fast the water spun down the plughole; how long the bath would take to empty; wondering where it went when it had gone down there; what the pressure was in the pipe that carried it; and how gravity worked. Things such as these had kept him fascinated since he could remember.

He watched the water trail its way down his smooth abdomen. Many times at the pool he had watched entranced as water flowed differently down the abdomen of someone with a bellybutton. Aside from having less body hair – although he had noticed a change in that department in recent months – Kyle's lack of a bellybutton was the one visible physical attribute that set him apart from his peers. He wondered for the umpteenth time what it felt like to have one. The water on his own body seemed to stream straight down, bending slightly with the curve of his musculature. He poked his finger into the skin of his middle and watched the water travel into the dent around his finger. He withdrew it and the water flowed straight down once again. He repeated the action a couple of times with the wonder of a curious child. When he had finished, the only trace of a bellybutton for Kyle was the small red mark left by his finger, and the water ran straight over that as it faded.

Water. There was something about the water. The feeling returned that he should know something, but didn't know what. It was like an itch in his brain, and it emphasised to Kyle that he still had some Swiss cheese left in his head. Then he recalled how Josh had asked him how he had made the water go back in the glass just before he had fallen asleep on the sofa after his seizure. He genuinely thought he had dreamt that. He allowed himself to think about it: how _had_ he done it? It seemed to have come to him so naturally that he hadn't been aware of a process being involved at all.

His holographic memory was probably his favourite ability, because it allowed him to experience things over and over, squeezing every last drop of information from any, or all, of his senses. It was also a useful way of finding details that had been missed the first time round. He ran through the memory from just prior to moving the water from the T-shirt to the glass. It was difficult to slow it down enough to understand the process. His head had been so fuzzy at the time. The methodology wasn't completely clear to him, but he decided to try. He somehow knew that this ability was linked with the terrible force that kept rearing up to cause havoc. He needed to understand what was happening to him; to learn how to control himself or he would end up being shut away from the world as a dangerous abomination. That was how it made him feel when it happened, and it frightened him badly.

He cupped his hands together and let them fill with water. He reached out with his mind and probed the warm liquid, trying to get a sense of it. He remembered what Adam had taught him about changing the polarity of the cells in his body. He reached inside himself, deeper into his mind than he had ever consciously gone before – that wasn't related to memory – searching for the right way to adjust his physiology. In order to learn, he needed to become aware of the sensations, the positions – ­­all the little details that would tell him he was doing things correctly. He needed a frame of reference, an experience on which to base his learning. He slowed down his breathing and moved into his memory, recalling how he had changed his physiology before he had walked into the burning shack to rescue the girl a few months before: the principle seemed to be the same. He remembered seeing things differently in his mind's eye: 'seeing' the energy signature of the fire and matching his own to it. Maybe it was that simple with the water too?

Kyle slicked his wet hair back, stepped out of the shower stream and stood facing it from the other end of the bathtub. He held his cupped, water-filled hands in front of him and switched on the part of his mind that could see the energy all around him. He concentrated specifically on the water, and soon he could see its energy signature. Strangely, it did not differ a great deal from his own; it would need less adjustment than the fire had. He shifted something inside and felt the slight clashing of the two signatures suddenly disappear as they fell into sync. It made him very light-headed. He parted his cupped hands, expecting the water within to fall into the tub by his feet; but to his amazement, it hovered in the air contained by the molecules in their air around it. He let it fall then switched his concentration to the water emanating from the showerhead. He 'thought' it into a single twisting stream and drew it towards himself. As soon as the spiral of water got within a couple of inches of his body, it arced away. Fascinated, Kyle looked down and saw that his own body was devoid of water droplets: he was totally dry. His physiology had changed and it was somehow repelling the water.

A sudden, but thankfully brief, pain deep in his head momentarily disoriented him and he felt himself fall to the side. He tried to save himself by stepping out of the bathtub, and almost managed it, except his foot caught on the bottom of the shower curtain. He grabbed the curtain instinctively, but pulled the whole thing down completely as he landed on his knees and elbows on the bathroom floor with a painful thud. Luckily he was too numb with concentration on the water to feel much pain, and he squatted by the bathtub watching with fascination as the stream of water arced out of the tub towards his body and back again, running down the tiled wall opposite.

Kyle had been concentrating so hard on his energy vision that his other senses had taken a back seat and he didn't hear the door (that he had forgotten to lock) burst open. He _did_ hear the loud shriek, however, and snapped his head round to find Lori standing wide-eyed with her hands over her mouth. It shocked him so much that he leapt to his feet and cried out, losing control of the arc of water. It dropped into the tub and swirled up the sides like a huge breaker, soaking him from head to toe, as well as the front of Lori's pyjamas, before the flow returned to normal from the showerhead.

"Kyle!" Lori shrieked again, balling her hands into fists as the water soaked into her clothes.

Kyle didn't know what to say. He turned to face Lori fully, standing on the wet floor with the water from his flattened hair running into his mouth as he tried to smile. He gently spat it out and looked at her apologetically. "I…I'm sorry," he spluttered, "I…I…was just…" he gestured towards the shower, but he couldn't explain it. He looked down at the shower curtain crumpled in the wet mess on the floor. "I…slipped," he muttered. He made a short nodding motion over his shoulder towards the shower faucet and the water stopped instantly. He shrugged at Lori repentantly and tried to smile again.

"Kyle!" she shrieked again, her eyes fixed very firmly lower down.

Kyle followed her gaze and realised she was gawping at his nakedness. Redness flushed his cheeks as he reached down, reminded of Lori's first lesson about modesty, and grabbed the dripping shower curtain from the floor. He covered himself strategically just in time to see the rest of the family peering into the room from behind Lori. Kyle smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry about the mess. I…I will clean it up right away," his confidence was waning fast. He reached out with his mind and began to pull the water from Lori's soaked chest, as he had done with the spilled water on his T-shirt the previous afternoon. Lori gazed down in horror.

"Kyle!" she shrieked yet again, clutching her chest protectively.

Kyle stopped what he was doing instantly, totally thrown from orbit by the tone of her voice. He lost control and the water he had so far manipulated from the fabric splattered everywhere as a small blast pushed him and Lori apart. Kyle fell backwards unceremoniously onto the toilet seat, still clutching the cold, soggy shower curtain in front of his naked body; and Lori fell backwards into the hallway with a squeal. Stephen managed to catch her before she knocked them all over like skittles.

"Kyle!" Lori shrieked a final time, this time she was angry.

Kyle felt embarrassed and light-headed as his family looked on with varying expressions on their faces, though thankfully none of them showed fear.

Josh's eyes burned with sheer delight as he said, "Lori, I thought you knew better than to walk in on a man while he's in the bathroom…you just never know what he might be doing in there!" He waggled his finger mockingly and clapped his sister on the shoulder with a wide grin then threw a mock knowing look at Kyle, who seemed completely oblivious. Stephen and Nicole only just managed to suppress their amusement.

"Drop dead!" Lori growled. "I heard Kyle fall over. I was just checking to see if he was okay. I thought he might be having another seiz…" she didn't want to finish the word.

Suddenly concerned, everyone looked back into the bathroom at Kyle. He was quite clearly shaken by the whole experience, but he was certainly fully conscious. His eyes were wide and his cheeks still pink with embarrassment. "I'm fine," he pre-empted any further questioning. Nicole reached out and pulled the door closed to preserve what little dignity the poor boy might have left. "Thank you," Kyle called out in a small voice. "I'll be out in a minute."

oooOooo

Within the next hour the Trager family members had all showered and dressed, and had gathered in the kitchen, each frantically grabbing a quick breakfast. In the middle of the chaos Kyle had announced his intention to return to school with Lori and Josh to which both Stephen and Nicole had expressed some concerns. Neither Stephen nor Nicole had been convinced that Kyle was really well enough after his recent ordeal to attend school, but he had assured them he felt fine, and if there were a problem he would call Nicole and she could bring him home. Kyle had pleaded his case well for going with his siblings, including that he wanted to do some research on oceanography in the school library; so Stephen and Nicole had relented with the proviso that Lori and Josh were to keep a very close eye on him. They were to call straight away if anything happened, or if Kyle seemed to be struggling. And if all went well, they were all to go to The Rack after school; once Josh had finished his shift there, they were to come straight home _together_.

Kyle was a little excited at the prospect of returning to some kind of normality, and almost ran from the kitchen to his room to get his school things. He grabbed his backpack, threw in his notebooks, pens and cell phone and ran from the room. He was just about to leave the house with Lori and Josh when he was suddenly overcome by a wave of concern. He turned to see Stephen and Nicole holding each other tightly in an embrace. His ultra hearing unintentionally picked up the whisper as Nicole said into Stephen's ear, "Honey, please be careful." He replied with a kiss.

Kyle felt very guilty that he had overheard something private, and also about the fact that he was happy to be returning to school while Stephen was potentially walking into danger at Madacorp because of him. "Maybe I should come with you to Madacorp," Kyle thought out loud.

Stephen looked up and approached him. "You know that's not possible. But thank you anyway," he said, smiling kindly. "Besides, I'm happy knowing it'll all be over by dinner. Something tells me I won't be getting a good reference for my résumé from Julian Ballantine!" Stephen raised his briefcase that contained the special program he had been burning the midnight oil for, and patted it proudly.

Kyle didn't smile at that. He looked at Nicole; suddenly not so sure that going to school was the best idea. "Maybe I should stay at home with you, after all," he murmured. Lori rolled her eyes impatiently.

Nicole looked concerned. "Don't you feel well?"

Kyle swallowed and said, "I'm okay, but I just don't want you to be here all by yourself if you're going to worry about all of us."

Nicole threw him a warm smile that Kyle instantly logged in his heart. "Kyle, _I'm_ the parent here, it's my job to worry! I'll be fine, I promise. Besides, I've got a ton of housework to catch up on. It'll be therapeutic. You'll be home before I know it. Now go, all of you, or you'll be late! Enjoy your day."

oooOooo

From the back of Josh's car, Kyle frowned as he watched through the rear window as the man that he knew as his father drove away. Something stirred uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach as he wondered whether everything would go as smoothly as Stephen had planned it. Kyle also wondered whether by tonight he and Jessi would be free to live their lives without the threat of Madacorp and the Cerebral Impulse Relay. Nervousness invaded his mind and he felt suddenly uneasy about having left the house. He said a silent prayer to Amanda's God to keep Stephen safe. There was no one else to rely on at that moment, not even Foss. Kyle turned back towards the front of the car and settled into his seat.

A few seconds later, a dark van pulled away from the curb several car lengths behind them.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Smokescreen_)


	33. Smokescreen

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Here's the next…had this one almost ready for a while! Hope you enjoy it…let me know! (10Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Morning_)

* * *

Chapter 33:  
**Smokescreen**

_I understood what Nicole had meant by wanting to use housework as a therapy to relieve her anxiety. I had thought to use school as my therapy: something that didn't challenge my mind too much while keeping me occupied. But in my hurry to distract myself from worrying about everything that had happened, I realised very quickly that I had thrown myself into a situation I wasn't ready for. I knew that I had changed since the last time I was at school, and sitting in the classroom made me feel uncomfortable. I was finding it hard to concentrate and I felt nervous in case everyone around me could tell that I was different. I missed Amanda being there by the lockers, and I hadn't seen Jessi at all. Josh had disappeared with his friends, and Lori and Declan were in a different classroom. I felt very alone and strangely out of place, much like I had on my very first day. _

By fourth period Kyle was learning just how noisy so many people could be, even when they were supposed to be reading quietly. His heightened state of anxiety seemed to be sensitising his hearing, though thankfully not to the degree of his ultra sense. Every scrape of a chair, or cough, caused him to jolt. Kyle jumped again when he heard a loud whisper next to him.

"Hey, you're like a cat on a hot tin roof! What's wrong with you?" asked L.K. Deichman, without looking up from the drawing he was hiding in his Geography book.

Kyle shot his bespectacled classmate a puzzled look, logged the cat expression into his memory for later analysis then muttered, "I…have a headache." He didn't know how else to explain it.

"What was that, Mr. Trager?" the teacher's voice boomed in Kyle's head. Kyle winced and looked up to find Mrs. Ashton approaching. She was a new teacher and, after just two weeks, was already unpopular with the students because of her low tolerance to talking in class.

"Um…nothing. I just said I have a headache," Kyle explained honestly.

The teacher eyed him for a moment, surprised at the boy's openness and noted that he did, indeed, seem a bit pale. "You've been absent, haven't you?" she asked in her direct, though not necessarily unkind, manner.

Kyle felt all eyes on him. He hated drawing attention to himself unnecessarily and this added to his growing anxiety. The woman had deep-set, piercing blue eyes, which bored into his. She reminded him of a bird of prey and he wanted to look away. She cocked her head awaiting his response to her direct question, so he nodded.

"Do you need to be excused?" she asked curtly.

Kyle glanced up at the wall clock and noted that there were only thirteen more minutes of the lesson left. He shook his head in response to the last question.

"Then I suggest you carry on with your reading and let Mr. Deichman carry on with his," she stated, turned and returned to the front of the classroom.

"Sorry," Deichman whispered and continued scribbling.

Kyle smiled weakly then dropped his head and closed his eyes. The last time he had felt so uncomfortable in school was when he had witnessed the exposure of Charlie's betrayal of Amanda in front of everyone, including Amanda herself, in the cafeteria. He pushed that memory away quickly; he didn't need anything else to add to his present nervousness. He had seen Charlie in the hall before class pinning a giggling sophomore against the wall. His eyes had locked with Kyle's for the briefest of moments, and they had still burned with the same dark anger. Kyle remembered asking Amanda what she would do if Charlie ever asked for her help and desperately hoped that it would never happen. He didn't trust that Charlie wouldn't hurt Amanda again. Something pinched inside him as he realised Amanda probably felt that way about Jessi.

Where was Jessi? She had apparently been at school the previous day, so where was she now? Kyle had tried sensing her during first period, but nothing, so he had assumed she was absent. He was torn about Jessi. He desperately wanted to see if she was okay, and yet he still felt very upset with her. She had betrayed him badly, but he wondered how much of that had been choice, and how much had been Madacorp programming. Did he have the right to judge her based on actions she may have had no control over? He felt his heart pound in his chest as the memory of Jessi's words surfaced: _I am everything you are not._ Did that mean she had _chosen_ to betray him? He remembered Nicole's discomfort when he had told her that Jessi was still alive. Nicole knew something about her. He surmised that it had to be something Jessi had revealed during their sessions. Kyle intended to ask Nicole about it when he got home from school, because it may be important.

Then his uneasy thoughts wandered to Amanda…but instead of filling him with a sense of love and calm, his increasingly paranoid mind threw out a possible link between her and Jessi's absence. What if Jessi was absent from school because she knew Amanda was in New York and had gone to find her? Kyle's heart began to beat harder, his anxiety growing. He needed to see if Amanda was okay. He reached into his bag and felt for his cell phone, but just as he removed it the school intercom crackled to life. Kyle jumped at the noise, spilling the contents of his bag then jumped again as the grating voice of the new school secretary made an announcement: _Would Kyle Trager please report to the Attendance Office immediately. Kyle Trager to the Attendance Office._

oooOooo

Several classrooms away, Declan and Lori looked at each other across the room, the same question reflected in each other's eyes: why would Kyle be called to the Attendance Office? Declan looked anxiously up at the wall clock: five more minutes till lunchtime. Lori looked at him, a desperate expression growing on her face with each second. Both of them looked over at Jessi, who had arrived in school five minutes into second period. She seemed a bit subdued and had made herself scarce between lessons, but other than that she seemed to be her usual sultry self. There were certainly no visible signs that she had leapt into Victor Falls! And it was odd that she hadn't reacted at all to hearing Kyle's name over the intercom. She was staring down at her hands on the desk, seemingly oblivious.

The minute the end of lesson bell sounded, Lori and Declan rushed for the door, almost tripping over each other in their haste to get out of the classroom.

"Hey, Lori! Wait up!" Hillary called out, equally as curious as to what might have prompted Kyle's visit to the Attendance Office. Hillary loved nothing more than a bit of gossip. If there was some dirt to be found on Mr. Squeakyclean she wanted to be the first to know. Kyle had fascinated her since she had first laid eyes on him.

Lori looked over her shoulder and called back, "Hils, I have to hand something in urgently. And I need to talk to Kyle! I'll catch up later." Her eyes caught sight of Jessi approaching Hillary from behind. Jessi looked up at the mention of Kyle's name and smiled in her usual disingenuous way, but Lori turned and walked hurriedly away with Declan. She had no desire to talk to Jessi _Hell_ander.

When they reached the lobby outside the Attendance Office, Josh was already there. "What the hell's going on?" he asked, deadly serious.

"That's what we're here to find out," Lori replied, trying to keep the rising panic from her voice.

"Kyle has never been called to the office before!" Josh continued. "Maybe they think he forged Mom's signature on the absence note or something? She _was_ in rather a hurry this morning."

"Josh…_you_ they would suspect of such a thing, but _Kyle_? Anyway, _I _gave in the note for all of us first thing." Lori said. Josh pulled a face and nodded his agreement with Lori's statement.

"Something's going on here," Declan stated the obvious. "We need to find Kyle." He looked around.

"Leave it to me, lady and gentleman," Josh posited. "I am used to dealing with the wonderful Mrs. O'Leary." He turned on his heel and headed into the office before Lori could stop him.

"Uh-oh," she said rolling her eyes at Declan. "He's in for a surprise," she muttered as they both followed Josh over to the reception desk.

Josh cleared his throat. "Excuse me."

A woman in late middle age set down the armful of files she was carrying and turned to face him. "Yes, dear, how may I help you?"

"Where's Mrs. O'Leary?" Josh asked in seeming innocence, peering into the back of the office.

The woman adjusted her spectacles. "Who dear?"

"Mrs. O'Leary – our secretary: the one who's been our secretary since…well, forever?" Josh smiled.

The woman smiled back. "She is sick, dear. I'm Mrs. Halsey. I'll be filling in until Mrs. O'Leary recovers."

Josh's face fell. "But Mrs. O'Leary has _never_ been sick! She's famous for it!"

"And you are?" the woman asked politely, though an edge of impatience was starting to creep into her voice.

"Trager. Josh Trager. I'm rather surprised you haven't heard of me, actually," Josh smiled sweetly while Lori cringed inwardly.

"Well, Mr. Trager, I've only been here since yesterday," the secretary responded equally as sweetly.

Josh puffed himself up. "That would be plenty of time for–"

"Mrs. Halsey, I'm Lori Trager, we met this morning," Lori interrupted, digging Josh hard in the ribs. The woman brought her gaze to Lori. "You called our brother, Kyle, here a little while ago. Over the intercom."

"Trager. Oh, yes. I thought that name was familiar. Pleasant young man. A bit of a nervous nature, though, I thought. I must say, I think he must have come from a different litter from the two of _you._" Mrs. Halsey pursed her lips, looking at Josh over the top of her glasses.

"What?" asked Lori.

Mrs. Halsey cocked her head slightly, "The family resemblance."

"What family resemblance?" Lori said, completely put off track by the woman.

"Exactly, dear," Mrs. Halsey smiled again as sweetly as before.

Lori found her mouth had dropped open, so she snapped it shut and began to babble. "Oh! Yes, well. Anyway…Kyle's been sick over the weekend – we all were, actually – but we were just…worried about him. We were wondering…is everything okay? Is he in trouble or anything? It's just that we're supposed to be keeping an eye on him today for our mom – you know how moms are. He was really quite…ill. Mom and Dad weren't sure he should've come back to school today, but–"

"So Kyle takes after your mother, does he?" Mrs. Halsey interjected.

Lori was becoming somewhat exasperated. "What?"

"Is she of a nervous disposition too?" The little woman seemed genuinely interested.

"Please, Mrs. Halsey, this is important!" Lori's temper was beginning to rise.

"Well, I wouldn't worry about your brother, dear," Mrs. Halsey soothed. "Your father picked Kyle up in time for his appointment."

Lori's eyes widened. She looked at Declan and Josh before staring at Mrs. Halsey. "What appointment?"

"With the doctor, of course," the secretary began fiddling with some papers on the desk in front of her.

Lori panicked then quickly recovered herself. Her response was somewhat stilted. "Oh. Yes. We forgot about that. Did Dad come into the school?"

"Oh no, dear," Mrs. Halsey said as she picked up some pencils and replaced them in a pot. "He waved at me from the car park over there as we were talking on the phone, so I said it wasn't necessary to come in."

"And Kyle recognised him?" Josh cut in, confused by what he was hearing.

Mrs. Halsey stopped what she was doing and looked over the top of her spectacles. "Well, of course he did! You don't think I'd let a student go off with a complete stranger now, do you? I pointed him out to Kyle myself when he got here after my announcement. He seemed very pleased to see him."

"Where exactly was he parked?" Declan peered anxiously out of the window. The visitors' car park was large, and there was no sign of Stephen…or Kyle.

Mrs. Halsey eyed him, growing a little suspicious. "Are _you_ a Trager as well?"

"No, but I'm…staying with them until my dad gets back from his business trip," Declan lied.

The little lady cleared her throat politely. "I didn't really think you would be related…the–"

"Lack of resemblance, I get it. So, where did you say he was parked?" Declan was growing agitated.

"Right over there, under the tree," she pointed to a spot in the shade of the huge tree at the far side of the car park. "That's curious," she said as she tilted the angle of her head to see better through her bifocal lenses. "He was standing by that red car. Guess he must have parked his own car somewhere else. That van seems to be blocking the red car in."

"Did Kyle say anything before he left?" Josh asked.

Mrs. Halsey became a little irritated. "Well, he said 'thank you' I think."

"Nevermind," Lori said curtly, and flashed a sarcastic smile as she thanked the woman. They all turned and left Mrs. Halsey to drive the next person in line crazy. That person happened to be Jessi. Lori stopped in her tracks in front of her. "Jessi. Have you talked to Kyle at all?" she asked outright.

Jessi met Lori's accusatory expression square on. "No. I was late for school today."

"So we noticed," Lori said, her voice strained. She felt her old anger rising.

Declan sensed the tension. "Come on, Lori, we don't have time for this right now."

oooOooo

Outside in the car park, Lori sighed in frustration. "There's no sign of him, Declan. What are we going to do? Mom and Dad will kill us!"

"We should call Mom," Josh said, his expression verging on tears. Lori went to pat him on the arm, but he pulled away. "Kyle shouldn't have come to school today. We should've stuck to the original plan."

"Listen," Declan said. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting a really bad feeling about this. I think we shouldn't worry your mom with this over the phone; you should both ditch last period and get home _now_. I'm sure she'll understand. I'll follow you there."

Josh agreed and fished his car keys from his pocket. "Come on, Lori. He's right."

Lori took one last look around the car park. "I sure hope so." She and Josh wandered off to the other car park to find Josh's car. Lori looked back at Declan and waved anxiously.

Declan waved back then stood a moment, his mind racing. He seemed to have been the only one to notice that the van that had been blocking the red car that Mrs. Halsey pointed out had gone. He turned and began walking towards the other car park, jangling his car keys nervously. He looked up to see Josh's car leaving the school premises, but that wasn't what piqued his interest. It was the sight of L.K. Deichman running at full speed after it waving his arms wildly. Lori and Josh had obviously been too distracted to notice him – or maybe they 'didn't notice him' intentionally.

As Josh's car disappeared from sight, Deichman leaned on his knees to catch his breath. Declan watched him while continuing to walk to his car. Deichman began trudging back towards the school and their paths crossed. To Declan's surprise, the bespectacled kid spoke to him.

"You're Kyle's friend, aren't you?" Deichman said nervously, as well as breathlessly.

Declan glanced around, the stigma of being seen talking to L.K. Deichman was a hard one to shake. He kicked himself internally, ashamed, thinking of what Kyle would say about that. "Uh…yeah. The name's Declan. Have you seen Kyle?"

Deichman looked a bit embarrassed as he gulped down another breath. "Yeah. He just went off with some guy in a dark van."

"You saw Kyle leave?" Declan was on full alert. "Did he seem okay?"

Deichman nodded. "He was a bit jumpy in school this morning, but other than that, yeah, he seemed fine. I tried to catch up with him, but I wasn't fast enough. It was a bit weird that he didn't hear me calling. He's normally pretty good with that. Then again, he did say he had a headache…"

"So if you saw Kyle leaving in a van, why were you running after Josh's car?" Declan asked, confused, ignoring the boy's rambling.

Deichman dug into his bag. "I thought they could give this back to Kyle when he gets home. He dropped his bag in Geography as he left for the Attendance Office. This must've landed in mine by accident." He held out a cell phone. Declan recognised it as the one Foss had been using before he had given it to Kyle. "Thought he might need it. You'll probably be seeing him later, huh?"

Declan nodded dumbly and took the phone. "Yeah…I'm hoping to…thanks," he said, folding his fingers around the familiar object and inwardly cursing that Kyle was now completely un-contactable. Whether Kyle himself knew that was a mystery.

"That's great," Deichman said nervously, dusting his hand on his thigh and stepping backwards away from Declan. "Well, be seein' ya," he half waved as he turned to walk away.

"Sure," Declan called, his mind not really on the conversation. He studied the phone, which he noticed was switched off.

"By the way," Deichman stopped and turned. "Ever heard of synchronicity?"

Declan looked at him, not really wanting to get involved in a geeky conversation. "Er…only that classic album by The Police." He cringed, now who was being geeky?

The comment seemed to shock Deichman. "Jeez, who would know something like that? I'm talking about the theory…you know, Jung, New Age and all that?"

Declan looked at him. _No wonder he and Kyle got on so well, _he thought to himself. "No," he replied honestly. "What's that?" He sincerely expected some dorkish nonsense to come back at him.

Deichman stroked his chin and explained, "It's when two or more seemingly unconnected events occur that are interpreted as proof of the existence of an underlying governing force."

Declan's expectation had been right and he threw his hands up in resignation. "Deichman, this is fascinating and all, but I'm in kind of a hurry. What's your point?"

"Well," said Deichman, beginning to sound embarrassed. "You and I just happened to meet up here. Did that happen randomly, or was this event part of some underlying force at work to make sure Kyle got his phone back?"

Declan's mouth fell open. It was a bit over his head. "I…don't know," was all he could think of to say.

"And while I was staring out the window during English class this morning…I swear I saw that intense chick, Jessi, getting out of a van just like the one Kyle left in," Deichman shrugged. "Don't know what it might mean, but I thought it was worth mentioning in case you believed in all that 'meaningful coincidence' stuff." The boy then turned and ran off towards school.

Declan's heart skipped a beat as he watched him retreat into the distance. "I think I'm starting to believe," he muttered to himself and broke into a limpy run.

Once in his car, Declan looked at Kyle's cell lying beside his own on the passenger seat. He gave in to the temptation and switched it on in case it held any clues to the morning's events. There was a missed call from an unknown number at…Declan scrolled down…ten-thirty that morning; there was nothing else in the call registry. He went into the text messages, finding only a list of sent messages to Amanda, which he didn't read out of respect for Kyle's privacy. Then he opened the inbox. They were all from Amanda except for the last one. The time mark indicated that it had arrived late the previous evening. It wasn't listed as a new message, so Declan wondered if Kyle had read it. The sender seemed to be a text messaging website. That struck Declan as odd, so he opened it. His face filled with rage as he flung the phone down and slammed his fists on the steering wheel.

"Fooooosssssss!" he screamed as he threw the car into gear and tore from the car park.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Unexpected_)


	34. Unexpected

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

And here's the next…been working on the next couple as well, but they're not quite ready. Hope you continue to enjoy…Some of you will be lucky enough to be watching the next episode (18) of the show at the moment, I should think! (11Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Smokescreen_)

* * *

Chapter 34:  
**Unexpected**

Declan tried his hardest not to break the speed limit, but it felt like he was crawling. He put his foot down as his anger turned to terror and he prayed that no police cars were cruising. He jumped when his cell phone suddenly started ringing, and taking the steering wheel with one hand, he reached down and scooped up the phone. He pushed the button to take the call.

"Declan!" Lori's worried voice almost shouted. "Thank God! Where are you?"

Declan glanced around, having been driving on autopilot. "I'm about four blocks away."

"There's a freakin ambulance at our house! We didn't pull up, we drove right past. What do we do? Mom's in there!" Lori sounded very close to hysteria.

Declan frowned. This was not going well at all. He felt bile rising in his throat as he said, "Park up and sit tight. I'll be there in a minute!" He cut off and threw the phone back down. His day was getting weirder by the minute. What was an ambulance doing at the Tragers' house? This didn't feel good. It didn't feel good at all.

A couple of minutes later Declan spotted Josh's car at the side of the road and pulled up behind it. Sure enough, there was indeed an ambulance parked on the driveway. Lori and Josh were white with anxiety as they got out of the beaten up brown car that was Josh's pride and joy.

"What do you suppose is going on?" Josh asked nervously.

Declan shrugged, genuinely stumped for answers. "I have absolutely no idea."

He took Lori's hand and then the three of them made their way to the driveway. Declan winced as he jarred his sore ankle on a bump in the concrete. He suppressed a cry and rubbed his ankle frantically then tested to see whether it would support his weight; it was sore, but held. He continued to lead the three of them past the passenger side of the ambulance in the driveway. He stopped at the front and surreptitiously peered through the passenger window. The ambulance was empty.

Declan reeled as he looked at the others. He had no explanation to offer. Josh looked like he would burst into tears at any moment, while Lori was bouncing on the balls of her feet, ready to bolt. It was clear to Declan that they were all having the same thought, and without further words, they all lurched into action simultaneously. They scrambled up the front steps and burst through the front door. Declan was last in the house, but first into the lounge where he stopped dead; Lori and Josh froze just behind him and everything went eerily quiet except for the sound of anxious breathing. There, in the lounge, was Nicole, perfectly healthy and half out of her seat with shock, while Tom Foss stood protectively in front of her, his gun aimed with precision at Declan.

Declan's mind went wild with fear as he stared down the barrel of the gun. Reality was very different to the movies, and he tried not to think the worst. Maybe Foss was now working under cover as an ambulance driver or something, got wind of Kyle being at school, had thrown a hissy fit about it and brought Kyle home where he could keep an eye on him. It was just like Foss to take something like that on himself. Declan balked, whom was he trying to kid? That was the optimist in him speaking. The pessimist spoke to him louder: what if Foss had kidnapped Kyle from school, now had him drugged and bound in the back of that ambulance, and was waiting at the house to take out the rest of the family to cover his tracks? The police would probably find the dark van burned out in some derelict underpass tomorrow. Having looked deeply into Foss' eyes on more than one occasion, Declan's natural mistrust of the man, coupled with a little knowledge of Kyle's past, made that scenario seem far more likely. Declan shuddered.

Foss tilted the gun upwards and made it safe before placing it firmly back in its holster inside the paramedic uniform jacket that he now wore. He let out a controlled sigh and pursed his lips angrily at Declan. Declan, on the other hand, felt his knees shaking and had to squat uneasily on the edge of the nearest sofa. Lori and Josh did the same, panic obvious in both of them.

"What are you doing here?" Nicole asked, flustered and slightly breathless with shock. "And…where's Kyle?" Her face grew instantly concerned as she looked around.

Declan fixed his eyes on Foss and said, through gritted teeth, "Why don't you ask _him_?" Foss' eyes widened in surprise as Nicole fixed him with a stare. Both of them returned their gaze to Declan. Lori and Josh also looked at him.

"Where is Kyle?" Foss repeated Nicole's question, his eyes growing worryingly dark.

Declan felt anger and terror rising simultaneously. "You know damn well where he is!" he spat then looked at Nicole. "He took Kyle out of school!" Back at Foss, he growled, "Admit it! Where are you taking him?" Foss stared at him blankly. Declan lurched to his feet and lunged. "Foss, you son of a bitch!" The man merely stepped aside and wrapped Declan's arm round his back painfully.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Foss hissed into Declan's ear menacingly and pushed him away so that he stumbled back onto the sofa beside Josh and Lori.

"Declan!" Nicole cried. "Enough! I don't know what you're talking about either! Tom has been here with me since about eleven!"

Declan rubbed his sore shoulder and looked at Nicole in puzzlement. "Someone picked Kyle up at school about forty minutes ago," he murmured, beginning to feel upset. Nicole's face went pale.

"It's true, Mom," Josh uttered tearfully. "Kyle was called to the Attendance Office over the intercom just before lunch. We tried to find out what was going on, but he'd already gone." Lori simply nodded and put her hand on Josh's shoulder.

"We came straight home. We didn't know what else to do," she said quietly.

Foss sighed and sat down, raking his hair back and shaking his head. Declan glared at him, less belligerently, but still not convinced. "You know what's going on, don't you?"

"No," Foss stated adamantly, the emotion in his voice betraying his icy stare.

Declan swallowed down his fury. He reached into his pocket to retrieve Kyle's phone and noticed both Nicole's and Foss' surprise as they recognised it.

"What are you doing with Kyle's phone?" Nicole asked, growing more worried by the second.

"He dropped it in class. A friend found it and gave it to me because he'd missed Kyle," Declan said as he brought up the mysterious message and thrust it at Nicole. "Now get Foss to explain _this_!" Nicole's eyes widened as she read the message and handed the phone to Foss. He glanced down and returned his gaze to Declan. "Who sent that message, Foss? And what does it mean?"

"_I_ sent it," a strange voice emanated from the hallway. "And it means exactly what it says. Only I didn't know at the time of sending that Tom had left his phone with Kyle."

Declan, Lori and Josh turned to see a man in his early middle years in a high-backed electric wheelchair appear from the right. He looked very frail. An oxygen tube was visible under his nose; his legs were wrapped in a simple dark blanket and he clutched a small control panel with which he controlled the chair, turning it towards them and bringing it to a silent halt in the doorway. Lori clapped a hand over her mouth at the same time Declan leapt to his feet. Josh remained seated, but stared wide-eyed.

Nicole realised what a shock it was for them to see the man, having had a very similar reaction herself earlier. She rose and walked towards the visitor and stood beside his chair. "Lori…Josh…Declan…this is Adam Baylin," she said, smiling down at Adam.

He smiled kindly at the three youngsters. "I'm very pleased to meet you. I was just enjoying some quiet time in Kyle's room when I overheard what you said." He sounded breathy.

Declan stared. It was eerie. He really did look like an older version of Kyle: the same inquisitive eyes, the smile that lit a room, everything. He noticed how the man's head was held in place by a support on the back of the wheelchair, how he breathed in short and shallow breaths. The man's eyes fell on him and Declan felt an urge to look away. It was painful to see Kyle, no _Baylin_, in such a condition.

Lori's reaction was much the same as Declan's, though she managed to smile back at the man whose photo she had seen in the University of Washington all those months ago. She trembled a bit when she realised she was looking at the face of her adopted brother in about thirty years' time.

Josh, as always, used speech as a way of dealing with his nerves. "So you're…Kyle's real father?"

Adam showed no sign of embarrassment or shock and answered the question plainly, just as Kyle would do. "No," he said. "Technically we're brothers. We carry the same DNA, so that makes us identical twins."

"I'll say," Josh virtually whispered.

"Only we were born many years apart...obviously," Baylin's voice was calm and kind. "For Kyle I used something called Somatic Cell Nuclear Transfer."

"Awesome," Josh grinned, not having the slightest idea what the man was talking about.

Declan cleared his throat, and managed to ask, "So…have you come to take Kyle away with you?"

Adam Baylin's face changed, becoming much more serious, and he looked at Foss. A silent message passed between them before Baylin moved the wheelchair into the room. Everyone sat down and Foss turned to Declan.

"You wanted to know where I went while you were driving Kyle home from the woods the other night," he said. "I was making sure that Adam's secret location hadn't been compromised. The girl had been there with Kyle and I didn't know whether they had left it secured or not." Declan's eyes were dark as he concentrated on what Foss was saying. Foss continued, "When we were talking about the C.I.R. yesterday, it struck me that when they put me in the chair, they may have obtained information from my memory about Adam's whereabouts, so I needed to sort out his relocation urgently. That's what I'm doing right now: I'm moving Adam somewhere safer."

Declan studied him a moment then glancing at Baylin he asked, "And you want Kyle to go with you?"

"I wanted to show Kyle that I am much better than when he last saw me. He and the girl…gave me something I very much needed." Baylin replied honestly.

"So why ask Foss to _remove Kyle_?" Declan was getting agitated. There was more to this than he was being told, and these people made him nervous.

Baylin held up a trembling hand just as Foss was about to say something. "It's a fair question," he said to Foss then looked back at Declan. "My sources warned me that Kyle is in grave danger. I wanted Tom here to get him to safety."

Declan looked at everyone, because nobody else was speaking; Lori and Josh were tearful and Nicole looked simply terrified. Declan didn't like the feeling of helplessness that was starting to rear its familiar – and ugly – head. "What does Kyle have that they can't get from Jessi? She and Kyle are the same!"

Baylin suddenly spoke more loudly. "Apparently created the same way, but not the same. Not the same at all."

Declan noticed Nicole's expression change before she looked down at her hands. "Answer the question!" Declan ordered, losing patience with all of it. He felt his desperation rising. He just wanted Kyle back. "Please," he added, trying to redeem himself.

"I assume Kyle has told you everything he knows?" Baylin asked, not in the least flustered by Declan's outburst. Declan nodded. "Then you know about The Latnok Society?" Baylin continued. Everyone nodded. "What you may not know is that The Latnok Society believes Kyle to be The Prophet." Baylin sounded suddenly tired. "They believe he is the culmination of everything they have worked for."

"Is he?" Lori's voice was small and frightened.

Baylin gave her a warm smile. "Belief is a very subjective thing. But it is also a very powerful thing. _They_ believe that Kyle will guide humanity towards a better world. In the end, it's what _Kyle_ believes that will make the difference. I am trusting you all with this information because I need you to understand the magnitude of Kyle's importance and why he must be protected. But Kyle _must not know_ what Latnok believes him to be. It is of utmost importance to his development that he discovers things for himself and in his own time."

Declan snapped, unable to listen to any more. "You people and your secrets! We're wasting time. We don't even know where Kyle is and you're talking about secret societies and prophets. You make it sound like Kyle is the Scond Coming and Latnok has been waiting for him to appear like the twelve freakin' Apostles!"

For the first time, Adam Baylin looked taken aback. It was a truly Kylish expression: that sublime mixture between surprise and fear of having upset someone. "That is another way of putting it, I suppose," he said succinctly.

Declan took a gulp of air, incredulous. "You're insane!"

Foss shifted, but Baylin stilled him. He fixed Declan with his Kyle eyes and said seriously, "Far from it. Give me two more hours to let Foss take me to my destination then return here, and I'll give you the means to prevent something terrible from happening to Kyle."

Declan suddenly felt a chill run down his spine. In Baylin's eyes he could see the truth burning brightly: he knew what was going on with Kyle.

oooOooo

Within twenty minutes Foss had taken a rapidly weakening Adam Baylin away in the ambulance. The whole event had been completely bizarre. So bizarre that Declan wasn't sure it had happened at all. For a man who had been shot and supposedly died, Baylin seemed to be doing surprisingly well. Kyle had been right about him still being alive. And he had been right about Jessi, too. Declan began to get angry with himself; he should learn to trust more. Still something about Foss nagged at him, though he could not put his finger on it. He glanced at the clock: he had a couple of hours to process the events of the day.

He wasn't sure what to make of The Latnok Society either. That was all rushing over his head, a bit like Deichman's crackpot synchronicity theory. People creating people to improve the world was a nice thought, but if some of those people were like Jessi, what was the point? He scratched that thought, feeling guilty on Kyle's behalf. The girl was only acting according to her programming. However, Baylin had said that she and Kyle were very different. He wondered what that meant? He kicked himself for not firing a volley of questions at Baylin such as whether he had known about Jessi's existence and if so, why had he not told Kyle about her? He pondered the idea of Kyle being some kind of prophet. Or were the two of them created as some kind of Adam and Eve for a new age? It all rattled round in his mind until he began to get a headache. He wasn't built for such deep thinking, or Bible Studies.

Lori came and flopped down next to him, having been in the kitchen with her mom. She had obviously been crying and Declan put his arm around her comfortingly. She snuggled into his side and they sat in silence for a while. Declan allowed himself to feel her warmth. Lori was special; she didn't realise how much he cared about her. He allowed himself to wonder whether too much water had flowed under their bridge.

Suddenly she began telling him about that morning before school and catching Kyle in the bathroom. Josh came in during the telling and added his comments too. He then told Declan about the previous evening; the coded message in Kyle's head and the Hungarian bible stuff. Declan frowned. It seemed that Kyle had possibly been created by some kind of weird religious cult. Then he remembered: Adam Baylin created Kyle, and something told Declan that it was possible that Adam Baylin did not necessarily share Latnok's cosy little vision of prophets and apostles. He was clearly a man of science. Did such people believe in miracles and have faith in things they couldn't explain?

His thoughts drifted to Kyle. Not the 'special' one, just the one who was his friend. He felt the fear in the pit of his stomach, and hoped with all his heart that Kyle wasn't too scared or in pain. He had been through so much, and Declan didn't want to witness the things Kyle held in his eyes. He'd seen enough of that in the woods.

Their relative calm was disturbed by Lori's cell phone ringing from the hall. She leapt up and rummaged in her jacket pockets for the phone. Josh and Declan rolled their eyes when they heard her greet Hillary, but were jaw-droppingly shocked when Lori came in just two minutes later and flopped back down next to Declan.

"That must be a record!" Josh quipped at the uncharacteristic brevity of Lori and Hillary's conversation.

Lori did not look amused. "Hillary said she just saw Jessi being picked up by Emily Hollander."

"So?" said Declan.

Lori continued. "She also said she was talking to Preston a little while ago–"

"Lori, what's this got to do with anything?" Declan was not in the mood for girlie gossip.

Lori thumped him on the chest. "Apparently Preston was in the car park when Kyle got picked up."

"And?" both Josh and Declan sat up and said at the same time.

"It really was Dad who met him. Then they got into a dark van." Lori sounded stunned.

They all looked at each other and said in unison, "Madacorp!"

* * *

(Next chapter: _Persuasion_)


	35. Persuasion

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **

Another chapter for you! Would've had it up yesterday, but would you believe, the OS on my pc crashed completely. Managed to get back into the system, but lost access to much of my software. Been panicking and working hard to get everything reinstalled. Lost access to a lot of work too, but I'm hoping it can be recovered. Chapter 36 later on tonight too – but if I'm being too optimistic, then tomorrow! Once again, many thanks for the great support, people, and thanks for the offer to host this story on your Kyle XY site (you know who you are!)… (18Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Unexpected_)

* * *

Chapter 35:  
**Persuasion**

Kyle sat in the front passenger seat of the van, rigid with anger and discomfort. He glanced sidelong at Stephen, who was driving. Stephen returned Kyle's glance apologetically. Without turning his head, Kyle said to the man in the back of the van, "You don't need the gun. I won't try to escape; not without Stephen." He tried very hard not to sound nervous.

"I'm counting on that, but holding this makes me feel a little more secure," the familiar voice uttered from behind.

Kyle swallowed, desperately not wanting to do anything to instigate an incident whereby Stephen might be hurt. He hoped with all his might that the uncontrollable force inside him didn't decide to rush up alongside his anxiety and spook the gunman. He swallowed again, with difficulty, and said, "I know what you want from me, but I can't give it to you, even if I knew how to."

"You have _no_ idea what I want from you," the man said calmly. "In fact, you really have no idea about anything."

Kyle's sensitive hearing had heard the safety catch on the gun click on, so he dared to turn in his seat. He glared at the man shrouded in shadow in the back. "Why are you doing this to my family? To me?"

"Kyle, you don't realise it right now, but I'm actually doing you a very big favour," Brian Taylor leaned forward into the light. "And in return, you are going to do one for me."

"What's that?" Kyle asked cautiously, wondering exactly how Taylor wanted to exploit him and for what reason.

Taylor replied evenly, "You are going to help me get rid of Julian Ballantine."

Kyle looked desperately at Stephen, then back to Taylor. "I won't harm anyone!" he said firmly, feeling a terrible nervousness bubbling inside.

Taylor almost smiled. The boy sounded just like Adam; but of course…he _would_. "I don't mean _that_," Taylor reassured him, and he could see the boy visibly relax. "I may have made some ruthless decisions in my life, but I'm not a murderer."

"Why do you need to get rid of Ballantine?" Stephen interjected, his interest obvious.

"Because I need to make sure he won't be a problem in the future," Taylor sounded honest enough.

"Why not just have him fired?" Kyle dared to ask, revealing that he had worked out the connection Taylor had with Madacorp.

Taylor sighed and leaned back into the shade. Kyle eyed him carefully, reaching out with his mind, but jumped back when he felt Taylor's eyes lock onto his. "He has been a thorn in my side ever since he was placed at Madacorp," the man explained. "He was given the position out of respect for his late father; a great humanitarian. Julian is bright and shrewd, but lacks discretion and patience. He was never destined to follow in his father's footsteps and the only thing he has ever seen in any of the work we do is money and power. He doesn't appreciate its true potential. He sees you and Jessi as abominations of science; he wants to manipulate Adam's inventions – and what you hold in your head – as collateral for inflating his own self-importance on the world corporate stage under the guise of philanthropy. Latnok cannot risk exposure of that information."

"Latnok?" Kyle's eyes widened slightly at the mention of it.

"Yes," Taylor responded. "And when Ballantine discovered that Jessi had survived the explosion at ZZYZX, and that you had survived the order for termination, he was willing to use Jessi as his tool to gain possession of what you hold in your brain. He refers to you both as The Primary Assets. He doesn't care about either of you like I do; as far as he is concerned, you are not truly human. He cares only about what you can give him."

Kyle stared him down suspiciously, but could sense nothing about Taylor's physiology that suggested he was lying. "Adam told me not to trust you. Why should I help you?" he said plainly.

Brian Taylor shifted in his seat and replied, quite calmly, "Because if you don't, Ballantine will kill Jessi."

Kyle sensed a slight rise in his heart rate. Did that mean he was lying?

"She is on her way to Madacorp right now," Taylor continued. "Ballantine has extracted almost everything he needs from her brain. He has gone pretty easy on her so far, careful not to damage the information, but her use has almost expired, because he knows she cannot give him everything."

Kyle felt a chill descend on him. Did that mean that Jessi had betrayed him yet again? His heart began to race.

"And know this, Kyle…" Taylor said, somewhat menacingly. "If Ballantine gets hold of _you_ he won't be so gentle. He believes he can go straight to what he wants by cutting through what he already has."

Kyle spun in his seat away from Taylor to face forwards, staring inwardly in horror at the mental images of Jessi in the C.I.R. Stephen felt his own distress rising with similar images; only it was Kyle in the chair. He could see that Kyle was caught; Taylor certainly knew what he was doing. Stephen could almost hear the boy's conscience tearing him apart. He knew that Kyle couldn't let Jessi die – he couldn't let _anyone_ die if he believed he had the power to change that outcome. Stephen knew there was no point in trying to resist; Taylor had won – at least for the time being. He sagged with resignation as he watched his adopted son's tortured face. Kyle's lower lip quivered.

With anger-fuelled tears in his eyes, Kyle turned back to Taylor. "What do I have to do?"

"The first thing you do is ignore any cries for help from Jessi that you hear in your head," he said coldly.

Kyle's heart leapt into his throat. "How do you know about that?"

Taylor sighed. "I know a lot of things, Kyle, so just listen to me very carefully."

oooOooo

Nicole listened with concern while Lori recounted her brief, but illuminating, conversation with Hillary. To Nicole it was obvious that Stephen had been coerced into picking Kyle up from school and was taking him to Madacorp; otherwise they would be at home and Stephen would have used his own car. Her stomach, which had been tightening steadily as the day wore on, tightened another notch. She unconsciously rubbed at it.

She looked at the faces of her children, feeling keenly the absence of one in particular; then at Declan, whose intense expression reflected everything she herself felt. He was frightened for Kyle and Stephen and angry at the subterfuge that had threatened himself and everyone he cared about. But most of all, she could see that Declan needed to _do_ something about it; the helplessness was crippling him more than his injured ankle ever could. What could be done, however? They were waiting for Tom Foss to return, and each minute that passed was a minute less available to help Stephen and Kyle. And what about Jessi? They couldn't allow her to be harmed any more than she already had been, no matter what she had done.

Nicole cocked her head slightly as something struck her. "I have an idea," she announced. "But it's a real long shot." She left the kitchen, followed by the three worried teens, and entered her office. She picked up her cell phone from the desk. She looked at the three puzzled faces in front of her and put a finger to her lips for silence. She blocked her caller ID then looked up a number. Her stomach tightened yet another notch as she hit the dial button and a familiar voice soon picked up.

"Hollander," Emily Hollander said with professionalism.

"Emily, if you hang up on me I won't think twice about calling the police and Social Services," Nicole said firmly.

There was a pause. "Nicole. I'm listening; make it quick." Emily's voice was clipped.

"I need to talk to Jessi." Nicole glanced at Lori's face as her eyes had widened.

There was another pause before, "That's not possible."

Nicole played her card. "Why not? I know she's with you. You were seen picking her up from school."

"Nicole, you mustn't interfere with this," Emily warned. "You don't know what you're dealing with."

That was it for Nicole. Her voice was tight as she said, "What I am dealing with is that Stephen and Kyle are on their way to Madacorp against their will. They were seen leaving school too."

There was yet another pause. "I swear to you, I don't know anything about that," Emily's voice sounded a little less professional.

"Well, if that's true, you know it now," Nicole continued, her voice hardening with each second that passed. "Now let me talk to Jessi. It's important."

"I can't do that," Emily persisted.

"I'm not bluffing, Emily," Nicole countered. "If you don't help me, I will have every available police car descending on Madacorp by the time you get there."

Emily Hollander sighed with frustration. "What do you want?"

Nicole thanked God in her mind as she replied, "I want Jessi to do whatever it is she does to communicate with Kyle."

"Nicole," Emily said, her voice very serious. "Of all the things you could've asked, that is the one thing Jessi cannot do right now."

oooOooo

Kyle stared ahead of the vehicle as he listened in horror to Taylor explaining how Emily Hollander had picked Jessi up some time after she had obtained the information from Kyle's head and jumped into the falls. She had been taken straight to Madacorp and at some point was put into the C.I.R. for immediate extraction to begin.

"Jessi put up quite a fight in the chair that night," Taylor recalled, as though he could hear Kyle's thoughts. "Ballantine tried to continue after she passed out, but I'm pleased to say that I eventually persuaded him to stop. The girl was too weak with exhaustion."

Kyle felt tears behind his eyes. He was upset with Jessi, but he hated the thought of her being hurt and suffering alone. He should have been there for her! His chest tightened as he remembered those intense moments leading up to Jessi's leap; and hearing how she was taken and put into the chair so soon afterwards was upsetting him terribly. He remembered how distressed she had been in the seconds before she had jumped. He also remembered how she had come to him later that night in his head, completely calm and dangerous.

Taylor noticed the change in Kyle, but continued anyway. "While the girl was sleeping, Ballantine ran over the information he had extracted. The encryption on the ZZYZX data was too complex to allow review straight away, but something else was recorded that Ballantine was able to make use of." Kyle looked up then, suddenly afraid of what he might hear. Taylor continued, "After Jessi passed out the machine had recorded her communication with _you_. It was quite remarkable, actually. It was like she stepped straight out of herself." The boy suddenly turned to look at Taylor, his eyes wide with fear as the potential of the C.I.R. became clear.

"You…heard our conversation?" Kyle asked, incredulous and dreading the reply, trying to work out how the machine could have done that.

Taylor leaned in. "Only Jessi's frequencies were recorded. Your responses were not, and that has got Ballantine very agitated."

Kyle looked over at Stephen, frightened and confused. Stephen remembered seeing the same look in Kyle's eyes the night Declan brought him home; the look that pleaded and begged for him to make this whole nightmare go away. Stephen wished more than anything that he could. He reached across and patted Kyle's arm in the hope that it would reassure him; at least it had been confirmed that what Kyle had experienced had been more than just his traumatised imagination. Stephen felt a pang of guilt at ever having doubted.

Kyle looked down at Stephen's hand then his eyes fell to his own hands, which were clenched into white-knuckled fists in his lap. He suddenly felt extremely sick as his memory threw out Jessi's words from that first encounter: _Madacorp will be coming for you. I can't say more because they will eventually learn what I say and how I am saying it._ It seemed that had already happened. Kyle swallowed down the rising bile as his stomach rolled painfully. He remembered what else Jessi had said during that conversation: _They want something important that I learned about you, Kyle…and so far I haven't given it to them._ He actually felt himself begin to retch as he remembered the worst thing of all: _It's interesting how much power Amanda has over you. _He clapped both hands over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut in desperation, powerless to stop what was about to happen.

"Kyle!" Stephen frowned then instantly called over his shoulder to Taylor, "I need to pull over!"

He didn't wait for a response as he suddenly yanked the car to a standstill at the side of the road. He ignored the car horns that ensued as he released both seatbelts and launched himself across Kyle, flinging the van door open. He grabbed the back of the boy's shirt and held him by it as he pushed him half out of the door, suspending him while he vomited onto the kerb below. He had only just made it. Taylor pointed the gun nervously at Stephen's back, breathing heavily with the sudden commotion, but Stephen was oblivious as he held onto Kyle's shirt until his heaving had stopped.

"Is there any water in here?" Stephen barked back at Taylor.

"Glove compartment, I think," Taylor said flatly.

Stephen leaned and retrieved a bottle of water and handed it to Kyle. He rinsed his mouth a couple of times, still suspended over the kerb then sat up, sweat trickling down his temples. He drank some of the water and almost dropped it as he tried to hand it back to Stephen. To everyone's surprise, he turned swiftly to Taylor and said breathily, "Why are you telling me all of this?"

Taylor leaned back and lowered the gun. "Because you should know that every time after that, when you thought Jessi was communicating with you, it was nothing more than a sophisticated beacon designed to lure you into Madacorp."

Kyle frowned. "A beacon?"

Taylor nodded. "A series of fabricated distress calls."

"Explain," Kyle demanded nervously.

Taylor obliged. "By analysing Jessi's brainwaves during the recorded communication episode, Ballantine's team was able to isolate the frequency sets she had used and mimic them. Through manipulation and amplification they were able to create simulated 'messages' from Jessi, which they would 'broadcast' to you. Unfortunately, they weren't able to tell if you were receiving them; and Ballantine has grown impatient."

Kyle's anxious mind was spinning as he considered what Taylor was saying, desperately trying to determine whether he was lying. There were no physical clues, and the man's gaze was direct and unwavering; people who were lying tended to find that difficult. Kyle's brow creased in panic, remembering how he was unable to sense Jessi in school. "So how do I know what is really Jessi and what isn't?"

Kyle's brow creased even further as Taylor leaned in and said, "You don't. But I can tell you with certainty that after the one that was recorded, they have _all_ been fake."

"How can you be sure?" Kyle didn't like the feeling he was getting from Taylor.

oooOooo

"Emily, don't try to deny it!" Nicole challenged. "We both know Kyle and Jessi are connected somehow. I need her to communicate with him _now_!"

"I told you, she can't!" Emily stated. "Ballantine has used his machine to block Jessi's natural telepathic centres until it suits him to restore them. I've also just given her another dose of medication for the pain. Jessi is here, but she's not capable of anything right now."

Nicole's heart skipped a beat. Her one hope of getting a message to Kyle and Stephen about Tom Foss and Adam Baylin was gone. These people had no right to be doing this! Despair and anger threatened her tough exterior and she desperately beat it back with a mental stick. "Please, Emily. Nobody must be put in that chair," she appealed. "Especially Kyle. He isn't up to it. His mind is…not functioning properly."

Emily's voice came back with uncharacteristic softness. "It's out of my hands, but I will give you my word that I have their best interests in mind if you give me yours that you'll not interfere by calling the authorities."

Nicole's mind raced to weigh up what Emily was saying to her. Something inside wanted to trust the woman, but she was in league with Ballantine, a man who was willing to hurt people to get God knows what. Emily had been part of the insidious manipulation of Nicole's family, of _innocent children_. It was a terrible choice to make, but Nicole had to choose. She desperately wanted to do what was best for her family, and given the lengths these people had gone to in order to get to Kyle, she feared they wouldn't think twice about removing human obstacles. She sighed heavily and said, "I won't call them; at least not at the moment. But I need your assurances that you will keep those children, and my husband, safe."

"I will do what I have to…" Emily's tone had cooled once again. "That's the only assurance I can give you." She hung up.

oooOooo

Kyle's panic rose along with a tightening in his throat as he felt the net closing in on him. He had a sudden vision of this day ending in tragedy. "What must I do to stop Ballantine?" he demanded as Stephen pulled into the Madacorp car park and stopped in a special bay that Taylor had indicated.

Taylor relaxed into his seat as he concealed the gun in his jacket pocket and said, "You must give him what he wants without resistance."

Stephen spun in his seat and confronted the man. "No! You can't put Kyle in that chair!"

Taylor grew suspicious; something about Stephen's reaction made him edgy. "You shouldn't worry, Mr. Trager, my people altered the C.I.R.'s programming after Ballantine's team had finished Jessi's session last night. Once Ballantine has finished Jessi's final extraction, the new program will kick in. The most it will do is give Kyle a headache."

Stephen looked at Kyle in terror. Taylor sensed the tension as Stephen turned to him and said, "Maybe so. But the software _I_ installed _this morning_ will do a lot more than that."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Calls_)


	36. Calls

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**  
**It's been a nightmare…! After believing I'd been rescued from pc hell, it went again and I lost access to all of my backup work, the internet, and email…hence my silence. Apologies all – much to catch up on! Things are still not running properly, but I'm hoping it'll hold out at least until I can get this chapter up – the one that I couldn't upload last time! (24Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Persuasion_)

* * *

Chapter 36:  
**Calls**

Jessi jumped and opened her eyes with a gasp as Emily suddenly growled and slammed her hands against the steering wheel. The woman Jessi had previously known only as her sister was obviously frustrated. Jessi wanted to ask her what was wrong, but the sedative made her head muzzy. Instead, she looked over at Emily with questioning eyes. Emily's eyes returned her gaze and were almost black with something Jessi didn't understand, so she turned away and leaned her head against the window, not much caring about anything except how she was going to stop Ballantine from messing with her mind again. However, the C.I.R. was virtually impossible to resist, as she had learnt through bitter experience. She could no longer connect with Kyle, but he had proven that he didn't care enough to come and save her anyway. She didn't blame him; she couldn't be trusted after what she had done to him and his family. Jessi closed her eyes and focused on strengthening her mind against the C.I.R. She knew she should be frightened for her future, but somehow none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was survival.

Emily gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. Nicole Trager's call had shaken her; she had not anticipated that move. The last thing Emily needed right now was for the police to be called again, let alone Social Services. When Jessi had run away, the police _were_ called in, but Emily had managed to lay that problem to rest upon Jessi's return. With the drugs prescribed by the C.I.R. team's pharmacologist, Emily had been able to keep Jessi sedated and as pain free as possible, allowing her to return to school and thereby throwing aside any suspicion from the wider community.

The girl had seemed remarkably compliant, which jarred Emily's conscience. She had found it relatively easy to regain Jessi's trust by promising her that she wouldn't let Madacorp harm her; that all they wanted was the information. Once they had it, she would be free to live her life; and Madacorp would arrange for her to be looked after properly. She also promised Jessi that Madacorp would value her abilities and help her to develop them. Despite having done things in her life that invoked questions of conscience, for some reason Emily Hollander found this to be the hardest, because she knew there were no guarantees that any of these things would be fulfilled.

Emily had followed her orders almost to the letter, even as far as manipulating the Tragers, and especially Kyle. She had assured his help in locating the runaway Jessi by telling him that her own family was in danger, though in truth that hadn't been a lie. Emily had followed Ballantine's plan to lure Kyle into Madacorp and that particular part of it had worked like a dream, but something now troubled her deeply: Nicole had said that Kyle and Stephen were now on their way to Madacorp…against their will. That was not supposed to happen. What were the implications of that for Jessi? Was Ballantine following his own agenda? What else was he doing that she didn't know about? Suspicion and anger burned in her belly. She did not like to be made a fool of, and she certainly did not appreciate being kept in the dark when lives were at stake. She had to make a decision. She glanced over at Jessi, and satisfied that the girl was once again sleeping, she reached into the door pocket and retrieved the cell phone. She pushed the quick-dial button and waited.

"Miss Hollander," the smooth, deep voice oozed into the phone. "Maybe you could explain to me why you collected Jessi before the end of the school day? We don't want to attract any undue attention to her."

That caught Emily out. How did Ballantine know about that? She had to think of something quickly to cover her actions, but that was Emily Hollander's special skill; it was what made her the best choice for many a covert operation.

"I received some information that changed things," Emily stated without faltering.

"Oh?" Ballantine asked in that affected way he had.

"Nicole Trager called me and demanded to know why Stephen picked Kyle up from school just before lunch, and why they were being taken to Madacorp against their will. I thought I would pull Jessi out of school in case there was a problem." She waited for Ballantine to show some sign of surprise. To her consternation, the man was cool as ice.

"I am already aware of the situation," he stated confidently.

Emily couldn't help but ask, "How?"

"I am not a man who puts all his eggs in one basket," Ballantine spoke with an eely tone. "Nor am I a man who will take chances with so much at stake. I took it on myself to put certain…_assurances_ in place. Let's just say that Beachwood High School can have their old secretary back as of tomorrow…Mrs. Halsey, my arranged replacement, has performed an excellent service all round, but is no longer required."

Emily's innate intuitive sense began to tingle. "Are you saying to me that you kidnapped the old school secretary?"

"What was done is not your concern," Ballantine oozed. "Mrs. O'Leary will wake up in her own bed in the morning believing what the C.I.R. has made her believe. What I'm saying to you, Miss Hollander, is that if you're thinking of not bringing Jessi to me as planned, I will have to activate my next assurance." His words were enunciated with clipped clarity.

"I don't know what you mean," Emily did not like the implications of Ballantine's words. He was a shrewd man, for certain, and she had badly misjudged his determination to gain access to the secrets Kyle and Jessi held, whatever they were.

Ballantine's tone was as efficacious as it was threatening. "As Mrs. Halsey was kind enough to inform me of Kyle and Jessi's early departures from school, I asked her to make a call to arrange for one more on your behalf... _in case there was a problem_."

His quotation of Emily's earlier words was used to good effect; her stomach lurched. Her daughter, Paige! "You have no right or reason to interfere with my family!" She fought to control herself, thanking her years of training.

"As soon as Jessi and Kyle are safely within Madacorp, Paige will be safely delivered to your mother's," the man said. "You have my word."

Emily paused to regain her composure then said, "I have no control over Kyle's whereabouts. And I have not disobeyed any orders…"

"And now I know you won't," Ballantine stated and hung up abruptly.

Emily felt distress rising as she dropped the phone into her lap. She rubbed her temple for a moment in an attempt to reorient herself, desperately trying to concentrate on her driving. She knew Ballantine was not bluffing: he had picked the child up himself from nursery school once before as a warning to Emily that he would not tolerate disloyalty. She sighed; it was all going horribly wrong. She had hoped it would never come to this as she reached over to the glove compartment and fished out another cell phone. She took a deep breath and quick-dialled one of the few numbers programmed into it. Within seconds the call connected.

Emily swallowed hard as she said, "Don't speak; just listen."

"I'm listening," said the voice at the other end.

oooOooo

"Mr. Trager, what you have done has made things very complicated, but it seems that we are at least on the same side when it comes to stopping Ballantine's misuse of Adam's technology." Taylor stroked his chin absently with his left hand as he stroked the gun concealed in his pocket with his right. He stared at the back of Stephen's head. "What exactly have you programmed the C.I.R. to do?"

Stephen looked woefully at Kyle, who turned away as a ball of fear made his stomach churn again. "It will remove the information from the subject's mind then destroy the system and its backup," Stephen replied honestly. "It was to be implemented during Jessi's next session."

Taylor frowned. "Clever. But Ballantine won't bother putting Jessi in the chair if he gets hold of Kyle first, so that mustn't happen."

Kyle, who had been staring at the ground through his window, sat up straight and made a strange noise in his throat. "I think it's too late."

Stephen looked across to his window and saw two security guards aiming their weapons at Kyle from several yards away; one held a taser, the other a pistol. Stephen wondered whether it was worth the risk of starting up the engine and attempting an escape, but the loud knock on his own window put an end to any ideas of running.

"Please keep your hands where I can see them and step out of the vehicle," came an authoritative voice.

Suddenly Taylor slipped his gun into the front seat while the other two were distracted and started beating on the wall of the van. "This is Brian Taylor!" he shouted. "Thank God! Get me out of here!"

Kyle and Stephen, both rigid with fear at having weapons pointed at them, sat even further upright at the sudden commotion from the back, too frightened to turn around. Then the rear doors were forced open and several security officers pointed their stun guns into the back. Brian Taylor squeezed himself down into his seat and cowered.

"Mr. Taylor?" one man asked, peering into the darkness.

"Yes!" Taylor cried and threw his ID at the small huddle of men.

There was a pause as the ID was inspected and one man stepped into the vehicle towards Taylor. "Careful!" Taylor shouted. "They've got a gun!"

Stephen did turn at that point, showing his hands, his eyes wide with horror. "That's not true!"

The security officer looked up at Stephen, pointing the taser at his shoulders. "Mr. Trager?" It was obvious then that his suspicion fell on Kyle. Stephen glanced worriedly at Kyle, but he seemed to be oblivious to what was going on in the back. Stephen's voice caught in his throat. The officer suddenly put away his taser, drew out his pistol and advanced towards the boy, who still had his eyes fixed on the men outside his window. Taylor scrambled out of the way and out of the van. The officer brought his weapon up to rest against Kyle's left ear. In doing so, he spied the gun Taylor had dropped into the front seat lying beside Kyle. The man leaned over and retrieved it. Stephen was horrified. The guard dropped it behind him towards his colleagues, not once taking his eyes off Kyle or Stephen.

Kyle felt the cold metal against press against the left side of his head and held his breath. He squeezed his eyes shut as his mind began to empty. Fear seemed to replace reason as a familiar, and unwanted, feeling began to prickle somewhere behind his eyes. Stephen saw the blood draining from Kyle's face and in his own panic decided it was better to cooperate with the security men.

"Please! He's my son! He's not well! He hasn't done anything! The gun belongs to Taylor!" he shouted to the armed officer.

Kyle leaned against the window for support, but was suddenly thrown off balance as the door was yanked open from outside. Two men caught him and hauled him out. Kyle was too preoccupied with trying to stop the unwanted force inside him to resist. Stephen watched helplessly as the men forcibly held Kyle between them. During the sudden commotion, Kyle felt his mind begin to fragment as fear oozed into every crevice; it was like he could sense his end drawing near. He struggled to contain an overwhelming wave of panic. Stephen could see Kyle's expression changing, so stopped his protests. He needed to keep the situation calm, fearing that Kyle would unleash something and do himself more harm. Within seconds, Stephen also stood with Kyle flanked by security officers.

Taylor walked from behind the van and said, "Thank you for helping me. These men need to be taken to the Security Suite immediately."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Taylor," a rather stout man interjected. "But we are under strict instructions to take them to Julian Ballantine in Research & Development."

"On what grounds?" Taylor asked.

"I was not given that information," said the stout man, whom Taylor vaguely recognised then identified from his badge as Ortega.

Taylor puffed himself up and countered with, "Well, I'm overriding Ballantine's request. Take them to the Security Suite until we sort out exactly what is going on."

"I'm afraid we can't do that, sir," Ortega said quietly, then signalled for the others to escort Stephen and Kyle into the building.

"This is crazy!" Taylor objected, as the men started to move off with their charges. "These people held a gun to me! Take them to Security!"

"I'm sorry. You'll have to take it up with Mr. Ballantine," Ortega insisted.

"I will!" shouted Taylor indignantly, straightening his jacket as the small posse departed towards the security entrance to the building, leaving Ortega behind.

"Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Taylor?" the officer asked. Taylor looked at him and shook his head in frustration. "Then I'll wish you a good day, sir," Ortega said as he turned and followed the others.

The last thing Taylor saw of them before they disappeared through the doorway was Kyle looking back at him over his shoulder with Adam's eyes, his face pale and his expression unreadable.

oooOooo

"Jess, we're here!" Emily said, lightly shaking Jessi's arm.

Jessi opened her eyes to find they were in the Madacorp car park. All around the sun glanced off the multicoloured patchwork of cars that sprawled as far as she could see. She squinted until her eyes adjusted. Everything seemed a little distant, except for Emily, who was right next to her.

"It's time to get this over with," Emily said with rare gentleness. "Then we can start thinking about your future." She patted Jessi on the arm.

As they walked towards the building, Jessi suddenly became aware of a dullness pressing on her mind. It was undefined and indeterminate, but something about it was familiar and made her want to find its source. She scowled then stopped. Emily stopped with her, puzzled.

"What's up, Jess?"

Jessi pointed. "Isn't that…_Kyle_?"

Emily followed the direction of her arm and saw the small group of men beside one of the unmarked Madacorp vans. Sure enough, Kyle and Stephen were there, held by Madacorp security. Another man in a suit was also there, talking to Ortega, one of Ballantine's favoured security chiefs. When the men disappeared into the building with Kyle and Stephen, the man in the suit turned and locked eyes with Emily. She gasped as Brian Taylor began walking quickly towards them both.

"Jessi, come on. We're late," Emily urged and pushed Jessi gently.

They both made it into the lobby, through security and were in the elevator by the time Taylor appeared at the main entrance.

"Why do you think Kyle is here?" Jessi asked, the sedative lending her tone a measure of innocence.

"I don't know," Emily answered, keeping an eye on Taylor.

"Do you think he's come to help me?" Jessi continued with her questions.

"No, I think he's come to help Stephen!" Emily said absently, pushing the seventh floor button desperately as Taylor began to approach. Her mind was racing; she was unable to process what was going on, which made it hard for her to plan a strategy.

Jessi looked puzzled. "But why does Mr. Trager need Kyle's help?"

"Oh, Jess, I don't know!" Emily snapped as she heard a cell phone begin to ring.

Just as the elevator doors began to close, Taylor pulled his phone from his left pocket, inspected the display and stopped. The last thing Emily saw before the doors closed completely was Taylor scowling at her and Jessi as he raised the phone to his ear to take the call.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Missing_)


	37. Missing

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**  
**As promised, the next chapter…Yippeee! The pc is still working at the moment (perhaps I shouldn't have said that). Hope you enjoy this. (25Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Calls_)

* * *

Chapter 37:  
**Missing**

Amanda sat miserably on the bed in her room at the Conservatory. The room was tiny, with a small window that faced the brick wall of a neighbouring building. She was one of a handful of so-called 'lucky' students who had ended up with a single room, but now she wished she had some company – or at least some greenery to look at. She missed looking out of her own bedroom window at home and seeing Kyle standing below smiling up at her. His smile lit even the murkiest of days.

Since his confession to her she had felt their connection deepen, and she missed him so terribly it was almost a physical pain. She missed his arms around her and their shy kisses. She knew Kyle wanted her safely tucked away in New York, but she also knew that her mom was hoping that the great distance between them would cause 'this damned infatuation' to fade away. Amanda sighed, if only her mother would loosen up and give Kyle a chance. Just because both of Charlie's parents were good Catholics, and accountants to boot, hadn't made Charlie the perfect, safe match for Amanda, as everyone had discovered – she last of all. She threw that memory aside with a mental cry of good riddance.

She frowned as she had yet another flashback of the moment her mother had hit Kyle. The flashbacks had been quite frequent since the actual event. She had never seen her mom hit anyone before. Amanda's stomach rolled as she remembered the distress on Kyle's face as the blood ran from his lip. Amanda was sure that if her mom had known what terrible things Kyle had been subjected to in his life, she would never have added another to the list. Kyle was such a _good _person; it didn't seem fair that so much pain should follow him. Then she remembered how he had somehow healed his wounded lip. Amanda grabbed her pillow and held it close as she recalled the look on his face just before she had left him to go catch her flight to New York. He was harbouring a lot of worries, and he was scared, but still he had wanted to help Jessi. Still he had wanted to do the right thing regardless of the consequences to himself. That was what worried Amanda.

Kyle had been very quiet since the previous night. In fact, she had been worrying all day since his usual early morning text had not arrived. And when lunchtime had also passed without word, her bad feeling worsened; she could usually set her watch by Kyle's punctuality and he never broke a promise without good reason. She tried to tell herself that Kyle simply had a lot on his mind, and that his mind was hurting. She tried even harder to tell herself he was probably catching up on his sleep, or absorbed in his drawings, or helping Nicole around the house…or…or…her insecurity reared its head…or he had run off again to try and rescue Jessi. She could no longer cope without knowing! She really needed to speak to Kyle to put her mind at ease. She dug her phone from her bag and looked up his new number.

oooOooo

Everyone jumped from their individual thoughts as Kyle's cell phone began to vibrate on the kitchen counter. Declan reached over and checked the caller ID then threw a concerned look at everyone. "Oh no…it's Amanda," he said with apprehension.

Nicole beckoned Declan to pass her the phone. "Amanda, hi!" she tried to sound bright. "How are things in New York?"

Amanda was confused. "Um…they're okay, thank you, Mrs. Trager. Is Kyle around? It's just that he normally texts and I haven't heard a single thing since last night. I'm worried about him."

Without so much as a pause Nicole said, "He decided to go back to school today, but it seems he forgot his phone. He's been a little absent-minded with…everything that's happened."

"Oh…okay. Well, could you please ask him to give me a call later when he gets home?" Amanda asked, her heart sinking, a sense of déjà vu beginning to emerge.

Nicole's highly trained intuition detected the slight change in Amanda's tone. "Amanda, are you sure everything's okay?"

There was a slight pause before Amanda said tentatively, "Mrs. Trager, this is going to sound really weird, but…" She faltered.

"What?" Nicole asked, feeling uneasy herself.

Amanda took an obvious deep breath and blurted, "Kyle isn't…in trouble, is he?"

That took Nicole by surprise, and she tried to recover before Amanda picked up on her discomfort. "What makes you ask that?"

"It's just a feeling I have," Amanda stated honestly. "You would tell me if he's run away or anything, wouldn't you? Only I feel so far away, and Kyle was so…upset about Jessi."

Nicole didn't know what to say. Amanda was obviously aware of Kyle's delicate state of mind. For the first time in a very long time Nicole couldn't think quickly enough to tell a decent diversionary untruth. She sat down on one of the kitchen stools and closed her eyes. She didn't want to lie to Amanda; it didn't feel right. On the one hand, it would just make telling her the truth later even more difficult; but on the other, she didn't want to shock the poor girl with the truth about Kyle's past either.

Nicole sighed. "Amanda, Kyle hasn't run away! He honestly did go to school today, and he doesn't have his phone…obviously. Then Stephen picked him up early from school. As far as I know Kyle's at work with Stephen right now."

Amanda gasped a little too loudly. "Oh…okay. Well, could you ask him to call me when he gets home?"

Nicole's nerve was beginning to falter as she said, "Sure. But I have a feeling they'll be getting home quite late."

"I see," Amanda said sadly. "Well, thanks Mrs. Trager."

"No problem. You take care, now." Nicole heard the call disconnect, but continued to hold the phone to her ear. Saying the words to Amanda somehow made all of the anxiety seem so acute. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt a knot of distress rush up behind them. Lori sensed it and moved quickly to fold her arms around her mother as Nicole's tears started. She sobbed gently; there was nothing else she could do at that moment to ease the empty space inside her heart that reminded her that part of her family was missing.

oooOooo

Amanda laid the phone on the bed beside her and felt her own distress rising. Mrs. Trager was unaware that Kyle had revealed his secrets to her, and she had just unwittingly informed Amanda of something she really didn't want to hear: Kyle was at Madacorp! What if Jessi were there too? What would the people at Madacorp do to them? Or what would Jessi do to Kyle? The images began to rush around in Amanda's head before they began a spiralling and swirling assault on her heart. Kyle was in danger, she could feel it, she had never been more certain of anything in her life…and there was nothing she could do except pray that he returned home with Mr. Trager safe and sound. Tears were not the answer, but they came nonetheless.

She thought her heart would break as she lifted her face to the picture on her wall; the _only_ picture on her wall. It was the one Kyle had drawn of her playing the piano. She stood and approached the pastel drawing and marvelled, as she often had, at the detail. A million dabs of colour assembled with absolute care and precision to form a photo-perfect representation of the moment Kyle had first seen her. She reached out and stroked the picture, hoping she would feel something more than paper and pastel. She began to believe that somewhere locked between the tiny dots of colour there lay a trace of the essence of Kyle's feelings for her. The more she looked, the more she wondered how he could have created such a masterpiece and yet not understood its true significance at the time? Kyle was indeed special. Amanda couldn't bear the thought of anything else bad happening to him. She stared into the myriad of tiny dots and could almost visualise Kyle's face, pale and worried, just like he had been the last time she saw him. "I miss you," she told the picture, realising for the first time just how much...and how much she so desperately wanted him to know that.

oooOooo

On the other side of the country, Kyle stood in a Madacorp elevator flanked by security officers. His fear had become so familiar that his mind seemed to ignore it as it wandered in and out of reality. Colours seemed brighter and noises seemed louder as the Swiss cheese in his head throbbed with a dull ache. His heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he was sure everyone else must be able to hear it; but if they did, no one admitted it. He dragged his gaze away from the elevator buttons and looked at Stephen. The taller man's head was bowed as though in prayer. He didn't look up, which made Kyle feel all the more alone in this small, unfriendly crowd. The bell indicating the seventh floor rang out and caused Kyle to flinch and clap his hands over his ears so dramatically that one of the security men reflexively released a burst from his taser. The jolt hit Kyle in the thigh and he stumbled forward into one of the metal doors with a grunt, still protecting his ears.

"What was that for?" Stephen yelled as Kyle was pulled back.

"I'm all right," Kyle mumbled to Stephen, absently rubbing his thigh as they were herded from the elevator.

Ortega led them to one of the two C.I.R. observation areas, which Stephen knew to be adjacent to the control room. The stout man turned to Stephen. "You should be comfortable enough in here until Mr. Ballantine can see you."

Stephen narrowed his eyes angrily as he watched each of the five men leave the large room; he followed them to the door as they closed it tightly. He heard the electronic lock engage. "This is outrageous!" he shouted and hammered his fists against the door in frustration. He knew it was futile, but it helped to relieve some of his tension. His breathing was heavy for a few moments before he came back to himself and remembered Kyle.

Stephen turned to find Kyle standing at the far side of the room in front of an 'In Case of Emergency' notice on the wall beside the large observation window. The boy was silent. As Stephen approached from behind, he noticed that Kyle's eyes were closed and his left hand was moving slowly over the surface of the sign. As Stephen drew up beside him, frowning, he was surprised to find Kyle's mouth curled into a gentle smile. Stephen couldn't help but wonder if the taser burst had somehow crossed some of Kyle's wires.

Kyle had felt a surge of warmth ooze from one of the holes in his mind. It flooded him with a familiar energy. He followed the faint trail of it around the colours forming in his mind's eye, feeling silken hair in his fingers and the smoothness of a perfect collarbone. He focused in on the ribbon of energy that was seeking him out, winding itself around his heart. He was so frightened, so lost. It was his beacon in a storm. It was Amanda. He reached out and touched the energy with his own.

Warmth flooded him as his mind opened up and the full force of Amanda's feelings shot straight to his centre. His heart pounded painfully, but there was a familiar pleasure in it. All reason seemed to leave as Kyle reached out even further, wanting so desperately to leave this place and be with Amanda. He felt something inside him begin to peel away like he was stepping out of his skin. He was finding it harder and harder to resist the tantalising pull of the exquisite ribbon of energy. He felt his heart synchronising with its rhythm and he so desperately wanted to follow it. Yes: he wanted to follow his heart.

"Kyle! Help me!" the voice was sudden and so loud that it caused Kyle to cry out in pain as he gripped his head and doubled over. "They're almost there! I can't stop them any more!"

"Jessi!" Kyle called out in agony, straightening up again and placing both hands on the observation window as though he would find Jessi in the C.I.R. below; but the chair was empty. Confusion pulled at him from all sides.

"Help me!" Jessi's voice tore through his mind, almost ripping his consciousness away. Kyle cried out again and nearly lost his footing.

Stephen had been watching Kyle closely and had seen the boy's whole demeanour change in an instant from seemingly extreme pleasure to definite extreme pain. Kyle pressed himself against the large window, his fingernails scraping it as his hands contorted in response to something Stephen could neither see nor hear. Then Stephen realised something important. Spinning Kyle around and holding his face, Stephen shouted, "Kyle! Don't listen to it! Remember what Taylor said! It's not really Jessi!"

Kyle's pupils were large as he fought to stay conscious and tried to focus on Stephen's voice, but he couldn't hear it properly through the noise in his head. He gasped in desperation, unable to escape Jessi's cries for help that had obliterated Amanda from his mind.

"Kyle!" Stephen urged. "Focus!"

"It seems that he can't," a voice behind him said.

Stephen spun round to see Julian Ballantine and Ortega. "Stop this NOW!" Stephen cried. "We know what you've been doing!"

"Interesting…proximity seems to make a difference to the intensity of the signals," Ballantine crooned, almost to himself.

Stephen moved away from Kyle, and headed towards Ballantine. Ortega moved in front of him. "Now Stephen," Ballantine said. "Let's not be too hasty."

Stephen stopped and looked back at Kyle tensing with pain against the large window. He hated feeling helpless. He hated Julian Ballantine. "You don't need to do this!" he said with gritted teeth. "Kyle is here! Now stop the damned signal!"

Ballantine paused a moment before he whispered something to Ortega, who stepped out into the corridor and made a signal to the control room to the left. Suddenly Kyle slid down the window to the floor, panting and holding his head. Stephen shot Ballantine a look of pure hatred before approaching his fallen son. Kyle was obviously dazed, and Stephen could see the pulse in his neck hammering against the pale skin. He put a hand to Kyle's shoulder.

"Can you hear me?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," Kyle answered somewhat unemotionally.

Stephen grew angrier and looked at Ballantine over his shoulder. "You knew Kyle was in the building. You didn't have to do that to him!"

Ballantine raised his eyebrows slightly as he replied, "I didn't. That signal has been running continuously since we created it." He took a few steps forward to get a better look at Kyle. "It seems something in Kyle's mind has been blocking it. No wonder the lure didn't work to plan. I wonder what he was doing just before he became receptive to Jessi's frequencies again?"

Stephen had lost interest in the man's science babble. He watched Kyle closely. After a few moments, the boy's pulse had slowed considerably and he stared at Stephen somewhat more lucidly. Stephen patted him gently on the shoulder. "You okay now?"

Kyle's head felt like it had been cleaned out with a scouring pad. His thoughts were floating around like a swarm of mayflies searching the surface of a pond for some meaning to their existence. He looked up at Stephen's worried face and nodded then channelled his gaze over to Julian Ballantine. Ballantine met his stare, seemingly unmoved, but Kyle noticed the slight twitch of the fingers of his right hand. The man was impatient, just as Taylor had said. Both Kyle and Stephen watched in trepidation as a slow smile spread across Ballantine's face.

"It seems that Jessi was right. Breaking through your firewall is going to require something she is quite clearly missing…" The man's tone was dangerous.

Kyle felt dread coming from somewhere, but his Swiss cheese mind made it difficult to determine from where. "Jessi?" he asked.

"Yes," Ballantine said disinterestedly, adjusting the sleeves of his jacket as he prepared to leave the room. "In exchange for a new life, Jessi has given us a very useful piece of information about you, Kyle. Something you probably don't even know yourself."

"What's that?" Kyle hardly dared to ask, the pain of another betrayal by Jessi starting to nibble at his heart.

Ballantine turned to leave the room. As he stepped through the door that Ortega held for him, he smiled disingenuously over his shoulder at Kyle and said, "Something _you_ are desperately missing."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Likenesses_)


	38. Likenesses

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Sorry for the delay in updating, but apart from another dreaded migraine attack, I've been taking some precious time to catch up on seeing the new episodes (up to No. 20/Primary Colors). It was becoming harder to avoid spoilers, so I decided to go for it! They have no impact on my story at all, except that I will have to change the name of the girl whom Jessi looks like…I named her Susan, so I will change it to Sarah at the appropriate time!! A BIG thanks to the readers/reviewers who have been kind enough to stick with me…and a BIG welcome to the new ones! Hope you continue to enjoy… (03Feb08)

(Previous chapter: _Missing_)

* * *

Chapter 38:  
**Likenesses**

Seeing Nicole Trager break into tears after speaking to Amanda had been too much for both Josh and Declan. As Lori had comforted her mother, Josh's cell phone had conveniently started to ring, giving him the perfect excuse to retreat. Declan, on the other hand, had no excuse other than to act on his initial urge to run as far away from the pain as possible with or without a cell phone in his hand. Instead of making a dramatic exit from the situation, however, he quietly withdrew from the kitchen, wanting himself to disappear. Fear and the frustration of helplessness threatened to overwhelm him and he didn't want anyone to be around when it did. He made his way to the lounge, but on finding Josh talking quietly with Andy on his cell phone in there, Declan found his way into Kyle's room.

He wandered over to look out of the window before retreating and perching himself on the edge of Kyle's tub. There was a terrible emptiness to the atmosphere. It amazed him how attuned he had become to his friend's presence, and subsequent absence. Was this what it was like for someone with super senses like Kyle? Kyle was able to sense a presence great distances away…down to every subtle change in a person's mood, body temperature, pulse, even hear them talking or breathing. He could even sense changes in the weather. How does a person get used to picking up all that? Was it a case of just tuning in and out, or was he aware of these things all the time? Declan had never really asked Kyle anything like that before.

Once upon a time, not really that long ago, Declan had completely rejected the idea that _any_ of the stuff that Josh used to spout on about regarding Kyle's amazing abilities was real. Declan felt a pressure building somewhere behind his eyes: he would have given anything at that moment to have the chance to just hang out with Kyle and ask him all the ridiculous questions he could think of. For some reason that he had never really thought about before, he found talking to Kyle really easy; and talking was not one of Declan McDonough's natural strengths, although he did feel that he had improved a little bit in that department since dating Miss Lori 'I have a word for everything' Trager.

A hollow feeling of doom scrabbled around deep inside Declan's gut and he shifted his position. He realised that he had never really studied Kyle's strange yet orderly room before either, but remembered with a reserved fondness the first time he had ever entered it. It was during a thunderstorm just after his car had collided with another vehicle and he had fled the scene in panic. Declan cringed to himself and wondered if he would ever grow out of the desire to run away every time he found himself in a difficult situation. Would he ever choose fight over flight? His mind drifted again to the moment he had climbed through the window that night, soaking wet, and seeing the look of fear on Kyle's face like he had just seen a ghost. Knowing what he now knew about Kyle, that memory took on a whole new significance to Declan.

Kyle must have spent a great proportion of his life feeling scared without really understanding why. How had the guy never lashed out, or screamed and torn his room apart in frustration, or even completely withdrawn from people? Declan was guilty of having done _all_ of those things at some point or other in his life, and for things that were a lot less traumatic than Kyle had experienced. Declan then remembered with another cringe how, during that same storm, he had remarked insensitively to Kyle that Lori had referred to him as a headcase. A wave of sadness welled up and swamped Declan; how wrong everyone had been about that. Between himself and Kyle, Declan knew which one should be labelled the 'headcase'.

He absently stroked the smooth surface of the tub with his right hand. The sudden cold of the enamel brought him out of his reverie and he looked down into Kyle's strange bed. He found himself wondering what it felt like to sleep in there. Looking around self-consciously, he swung his legs over the side and lowered himself into the tub. He leaned back and let himself assume the shape of the curved and slightly sloping end of the bath…it was surprisingly comfortable. Declan slid down and saw the sides loom up as he did so. Lying in the bottom of the tub, he began to feel somewhat claustrophobic as the sides closed in on him; even his own breathing sounded different. But he realised then why it would be comforting for Kyle: if he had spent sixteen years inside such a compact space, there was small wonder that he would have trouble relaxing in the openness of a proper bed.

Declan indulged himself with a slightly wicked thought, wondering whether Kyle's wedding night would be spent in a marital tub? Assuming that Kyle would ever learn what he was supposed to do in one, of course…His friend, for all his speed and agility, was a snail when it came to the subtleties of romance. Declan's smile soon fell away as he wondered seriously whether Kyle ever would grow out of the need to sleep in a tub. Images of fluid-filled chambers forced Declan to push himself up into the open quickly, unconsciously taking a lungful of air with a loud gasp as he felt himself drowning in invisible fluid. He got out of the tub quickly and sat back on the edge, glad to be free of its confines. He just wished his friend were back in the room, filling it with his life force and making everything feel normal again…He smiled in spite of himself: since when had he started applying the word 'normal' to Kyle?

Declan's thoughts began to drive him crazy. He wondered what Kyle was doing. Was he safe? Was he alone? Would they ever see him again? Where was Foss? And what had Adam Baylin meant when he said he would give them the means to stop something terrible from happening to Kyle? How could everyone be hanging around waiting here when Kyle and Mr. Trager needed help? And what was going on with Jessi? Declan needed to _do_ something; every minute spent sitting around meant Kyle was another minute closer to whatever Madacorp was going to do to him…to them _all_.

Declan's good ankle flexed as his foot tapped out an agitated beat on the floor. He _hated_ relying on other people. He seriously thought about getting in his car and heading for Madacorp, but one sobering fact stopped him: if he had learned anything through his experience in the forest, it had been the realisation that he was not well enough equipped to deal with the danger on his own. He was forced to admit to himself that Foss was the man for the job. It galled him, but he knew that waiting for Foss was the right thing to do. He hoped that trusting him was also right…

Declan's thoughts were disrupted by the sound of the door opening. Without turning around, Declan said, "I'll be out in a minute, Lori, I just needed to think."

"Do you mind if I join you?" Nicole's voice asked quietly.

Declan jumped and stood up, turning to face Nicole who had entered and closed the door quietly behind her. "Mrs. Trager! I'm sorry, I thought you were Lori."

Nicole smiled. "Lori's just making everyone some sandwiches. She needed a job to do." Declan understood that motivation and moved to leave the room, but Nicole stayed him with her hand. "Please, Declan, sit. I want to talk to you for a minute."

Declan repositioned himself on the edge of the tub slowly. "What about?" he asked nervously.

"May I?" Nicole asked, indicating the other side of the tub.

"Sure," Declan said, feeling awkward, wondering if this was how Kyle and Nicole sat when they talked.

Nicole settled herself as comfortably as she could and toyed with a loose strand on her brown tunic. "I'm sorry if my tears made you uncomfortable. I can usually deal with difficult situations, but this one is…well…"

"You don't need to explain anything to me, Mrs. Trager. I'm sorry I left the room, but…" Declan said, still nervous, as the long buried, half forgotten memory of his own mother began to creep back into his conscious mind. He didn't like it and tried to push it back down.

Nicole smiled kindly, her eyes boring into his. "But seeing me upset reminded you of something painful?" she said.

Declan studied her face, amazed at her perceptiveness. No wonder Lori found it hard to pull one over her mom's eyes. "Something like that," he said very quietly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nicole pressed ever so gently.

Declan eyed her suspiciously and felt self-consciousness rising. "Nothing much to tell really," he began with pretend indifference. "I just remembered…It's just that…when I was little, my mom…" He gave a little sigh of frustration. "My dad's a bit of a…perfectionist, you know? He always expects so much…and…well…my mom used to get upset quite a lot. I always ran away and hid with the dog in the kennel in the back yard."

"That's a pretty common reaction," Nicole said kindly. "It's not something you should be embarrassed about."

"I hated seeing her like that," Declan blurted.

Nicole thought a moment. "Maybe your mother felt like she couldn't live up to your dad's expectations."

"Neither can I," Declan found himself saying before he realised it. He looked up at Nicole, embarrassed.

"Maybe nobody can," she offered.

Declan's brow furrowed. "What are you saying?"

"Nothing. I'm only suggesting the possibility that the fault lies with your dad, not with your mom, or you, or anyone else. And maybe _his_ father had high expectations, too?"

"Yeah, well…whatever. My mom ran away. What kind of woman could run away and leave her kid behind?" Declan asked bitterly, not really expecting a proper response.

Nicole looked at him with compassion; she had heard this question so many times during the course of her work. "Declan, you care very much about Lori…and Kyle…don't you?"

He eyed her with a measure of suspicion, not sure where she was going with the questions. He started to feel uncomfortable. "Of course!" he stated.

"And yet you still feel the need to run away when things get difficult?" she continued.

Declan suddenly glimpsed what she was getting at. He had never thought about it that way before. It didn't make him feel better, however. "So, I'm like my mom? That's just great!"

Nicole shifted her position and said softly, and assuredly, "A lot of responses are _learned_, Declan. Without guidance, young children will usually go for the easy option; and in situations that provoke hurt or fear, putting as much distance between themselves and the source of the problem is the easiest way to cope. That goes for emotional running away too. Turning around and facing the things that scare or hurt us is the hardest thing to do, even as adults."

Declan squared his jaw. "Kyle does it."

Nicole sat back a bit, surprised at Declan's insight. "Yes, he does. But sometimes I wonder if it's because he doesn't feel like he has any other options." Reminded of his friend, Declan glanced away to consider what Nicole had just said. She watched him closely then after a moment said, "Please don't be so quick to judge your mother; she had her reasons for what she did. And you shouldn't be so quick to judge yourself either."

"What do you mean?" Declan's mind was beginning to flood with thoughts he didn't want to think about.

"You may have run away from a lot of things, Declan, but you didn't run away from Kyle," Nicole stated. "And just like Kyle, you put yourself at risk by keeping his secrets to protect the people you care about without considering the cost to yourself." She leaned over and patted his arm gently. "That makes you someone to be proud of."

Declan found himself staring at his arm where she had touched him. No one had ever told him they were proud of him before. He didn't know how to react. He shifted uncomfortably.

Nicole sensed him squirming. "I didn't mean to upset you," she said gently. "I really only came in here to thank you properly for bringing Kyle home to us."

Declan studied her face, awkward and unable to cope with more praise. "You don't need to do that," he said quite honestly. "I was just following orders." He looked away, feeling doubly awkward at how that sounded.

"Please stop underestimating yourself," Nicole said firmly. "What you did by going after Kyle was very brave. I know how difficult it must have been for you having to deal with Tom Foss."

Declan suddenly brought his eyes up to hers. "What?"

Nicole smiled but met his gaze evenly. "It's obvious to me that you and Tom have some…_issues_."

"He makes me nervous. I can't read him," Declan responded without hesitation. "And I don't like what he did to Kyle."

"Meaning?" Nicole's eyes narrowed a little with concern.

Declan frowned and swallowed with difficulty as the memory began to enter his mind in preparation for his answer. "He…paralysed him."

Nicole pursed her lips to avoid unleashing her own outrage on that subject then nodded her understanding. "I'm mad about that too," she said softly. Then she rolled her eyes. "And I told him so."

Declan's eyes widened a little at that. "What was his reaction?"

Nicole grinned in spite of herself, remembering the moment: "He closed off and went all 'military' on me." She thought a moment before she added, "I wanted to hit him right between the eyes."

"I've tried that a few times already," Declan snorted with irony, "but the man's too well trained." His eyes fell to his lap.

"I'm proud of you for trying," Nicole smiled.

She watched Declan's face change. This young man she had seen many times in her house, whom her daughter had fallen for (and undoubtedly still carried a torch for), was an enigma to her. But she knew that underneath that exterior basketball hero bravado lurked a frightened boy; she had seen enough of them in her profession to recognise the signs straight away. As though on cue with her own thoughts, Declan's lower lip began to tremble. Another layer of his psyche had been peeled back like an onion and he was powerless to prevent it.

"I really thought he was dead, Mrs. Trager," he uttered with difficulty.

"Who?" Nicole asked, not expecting that at all.

Declan looked up at her then. "Kyle," he stated succinctly. "He wasn't breathing." He wanted desperately to bury his face in Nicole's shoulder and tell her how scared he was; how he had failed in his attempts to resuscitate Kyle. But he pushed it all down and swallowed again with difficulty. "I was sure Foss had killed him." Nicole went cold as she imagined what Declan had witnessed. She shook herself from her momentary lapse and noticed that his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. She watched him say through gritted teeth, "I'm scared something like that will happen to Kyle again. I feel I should have his back, but I'm sitting here now doing nothing...And I badly want to punish Foss for what he did…and I so badly _hate_ having to depend on him."

Nicole found herself marvelling at Declan's control. He was much stronger than he gave himself credit for. She smiled sagely, to which he frowned. "Maybe the two of you are actually more alike than you realise."

Declan didn't have time to mull that uncomfortable observation over, as the door opened and Tom Foss entered, still dressed in his ambulance uniform. Both Nicole and Declan stood up in shock.

"Speak of the devil," Declan muttered with irony.

Nicole gave him a 'behave yourself' look then eyed Foss. "Tom…we didn't hear the doorbell."

Foss looked concerned. "That's because I came through the kitchen. I'm surprised you didn't hear Lori drop the plate of sandwiches." He beckoned. "Come on, we need to get going. I have a lot to explain."

Nicole was first to follow the man from Kyle's room. Declan stood at the door and turned for one last look at the empty space. It seemed to him that somehow Kyle had encouraged him to talk to Nicole without even being present. Declan smiled his thanks into the room and was just about to exit when he noticed something on the desk that piqued his interest. He approached and picked up the item.

"She Could Be You," he read the title of the vinyl record out loud. Then he shrugged, laid it back on the desk and left the room.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Memories_)


	39. Memories

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Here's the next bit…sorry, but I've been really busy again! Many thanks to those of you who contacted me about the last chapter – seems it was really popular! Hope you enjoy this one too! (10Mar08)

(Previous chapter: _Likenesses_)

* * *

Chapter 39:  
**Memories**

"How's your head?" Stephen asked as he seated himself next to Kyle and peered at the pinched expression on the boy's face.

Kyle had perched himself on the edge of one of the chairs in the front row of the small section of twelve or so fixed seats in the observation area. He had already tried to see into the control room, but the angle of the window prevented it; and he remembered from his previous visit with Stephen that both observation windows on either side of the control room were glazed with one-way glass; only the control room had a clear view. He stared sadly at the C.I.R. in the room below: the dim security lighting gave the large observation window a strange tint. He tried to imagine what it was going to be like to sit in that chair. Images of Foss and Jessi squirming and crying out in pain caused him to look away, eyes boring into Stephen's.

"It aches a little," Kyle murmured honestly in response to the question and tried to lift the corners of his mouth in a small reassuring smile. He failed and looked away again, not wanting Stephen to see his fear. He needed to be strong to protect his family.

Stephen patted him on the shoulder then stood up, pacing over towards the door. "We need to get out of here and call the police or something," he thought out loud, examining the electronic access panel.

"The pass number is 4583571," Kyle stated without looking over.

Stephen turned, wide-eyed. "Are you serious?"

Kyle stared at his hands in his lap and nodded. "I interpreted the tones when we were brought in here."

Stephen raised his eyes to Heaven in a gesture of thanks and went to punch in the numbers. "Then let's get you out of here," he said with more hope.

Kyle jumped up suddenly. "Stephen, wait! I've already run through that scenario in my mind two-hundred-and-four times. The main security points need a retinal scan, which takes between ten and thirty seconds to complete. There are three of them on the direct route between here and the ground floor. Eight if we take any of the three available alternative routes. Even though the security guards who brought us here are no longer in this part of the suite, if we leave this room the probability of being able to make it down the corridor undetected is one in six-hundred-and-two. The probability of making it out of the C.I.R. suite without being intercepted is one in eight-thousand-and-forty-one...and one in twenty-four-thousand-three-hundred-and-fifty-seven of making it off this floor. The probability of getting clear of the building is one in seven-hundred-and-thirty-nine-thousand-and–"

"Okay, Kyle. I get it!" Stephen interrupted him, open-mouthed; Kyle's precision filled the atmosphere with the heaviness of futility.

Kyle looked at him apologetically. "I figured it would be better to wait a while and see if any other factors come into the equation before attempting to leave the room."

Stephen sighed and slumped into the nearest chair. He leaned forward, elbows on knees, and held his head in his hands. "I won't argue with you," he said with resignation.

Kyle once more perched himself on the edge of his seat. His mind was struggling to process anything much besides mathematics. He had tried to listen to what was being said in the control room next door, but his ultra hearing was intermittent and it caused shooting pains in his head when he strained to use it. It was worrying him that he seemed to be further losing control of his abilities; even the ones he had already mastered. The Swiss cheese in his head was systematically being grated, and Kyle could only foresee more of his mind being sliced away by the C.I.R.

It had been some time since Ballantine had left them alone in the room, and in that time, Kyle had managed to push down his pointless panic. He was now letting his mind meander in and out of its gaps in the hope that he could find a way to make sure his friends and family were kept safe. And Jessi. But every possible solution seemed to involve him cooperating with Ballantine. Maybe that really was the only thing he could do, his only option, though he desperately did not want Ballantine getting hold of the information stored behind the firewall in his head. Whatever that information was, it had to be very important to warrant such stringent protection and elicit such fervent desire in others to get hold of it. He swallowed then winced at the dryness of his throat.

"I'm thirsty," he realised out loud, rubbing his throat unconsciously.

"Me too," Stephen responded. "I wonder if they'll let us have some water?"

Water. The mention of the word pushed something up through one of the holes in Kyle's mind. _Oceanography_. The coded message in the piano music…he had forgotten about that in the panic of being brought to Madacorp. He allowed himself to think about it. What was the significance of oceanography? Why would he need to study it? He desperately wished he could ask Adam.

He wondered how Adam was. Memories bubbled up of the first time they had officially met, when Adam had explained with such enthusiasm how, backed by the secret and mysterious Latnok Society, he had developed the incubation chamber, the special fluid, and how he had created a viable and sustainable life: _Kyle's_ life. All that work, all that brilliance and dedication…for what? Something else seeped up through his mind: Adam had said that he had created Kyle because he didn't want to be alone…but as much as that may have been true, Kyle's intuition nagged at him that it wasn't the only reason. He recalled the photograph he had found in the special box from Baylin's safe at ZZYZX. The old man in the diner had understandably mistaken Kyle and Jessi for Adam and the woman in the photo; he had referred to them as 'lovebirds'. Adam had obviously not always been alone.

What was the significance of the photograph? The woman looked just like Jessi. What was her significance? Why was Jessi created? Kyle physically shuddered. Was Jessi created so that _he_ would not be alone? That didn't make sense, because Adam had never mentioned another child. Surely he would have if he had known about her? There was no information in Kyle's memory from the ZZYZX security cameras footage regarding Jessi's existence, so he could only presume that her creation was secret, even from staff at ZZYZX. But why? Kyle shuddered again. If he went into that chair, the secrets he held would fall into the hands of people who cared little for the ethos out of which he was born…and he would never know the answers to the questions that burned at his core. Oceanography. How was that significant? He was back to square one.

"Kyle?" Stephen's voice broke into the boy's thoughts. "You okay?"

Kyle looked at him as the residue of his thoughts drained away. He blinked and said, "Yes. I was just thinking about Adam Baylin."

Stephen looked somewhat surprised. "What brought him to mind?"

Kyle shifted uneasily and sat right back in his seat. "I was thinking about that coded message in the music. I can't work out why I would need to study oceanography. That came to mind when you mentioned water."

Stephen was kind of relieved to think about something other than what lay ahead for them at Madacorp. He applied his mind to Kyle's riddle, finding a measure of comfort in dealing with encryptions and logic problems. Though Kyle was light years ahead of him in terms of calculative concept and ability, they could still speak in a common basic language, and Stephen had worldly knowledge and experience on his side.

He cleared his throat and said, "It was a pretty amazing bit of encryption. But did nothing strike you as being a bit odd about the messages?"

Kyle's eyes showed genuine interest. "Apart from the fact that I happened on the music completely by chance through Amanda? I thought they were _all_ a bit strange."

Stephen felt a little awkward saying, "Well, it struck me as odd that the first part was in Hungarian. I–"

"It's not the first time I've encountered the use of Hungarian where my past is concerned," Kyle interjected.

"That's not what I mean," Stephen countered. "The use of foreign languages is quite common in cryptography." Kyle stood and walked over to him, taking the seat beside him. Stephen continued. "What I mean is…if someone went to the trouble to encode all that Hungarian because they knew you could read it…why was the final – and most important – message in _English_?"

Kyle looked at Stephen's face. "I never thought of that." Kyle was often guilty of completely overlooking the obvious, and Stephen was right. It _was_ odd.

Stephen ventured, "The Hungarian part enabled you to decipher the actual message into English…but what if the English message refers to something else in Hungarian? Maybe there was more to the code?"

Kyle considered what Stephen had said, and ran the memory through his mind. He shook his head. "No. Everything was correct. There was no more. The formula corresponded with elements of the music and there was no more to be got from it by the end of the piece."

Stephen shrugged. "Well, it was a long shot. It just seemed strange. Why not just encode the whole message in one language or the other? Why were both necessary? I class that as significant."

Kyle got up and stood against the observation window. He rested his hands and forehead against the cool glass and glanced at the chair below as he considered Stephen's last words. Suddenly he gasped and turned to Stephen, eyes wide and mind racing. "You're right!" he exclaimed.

"I am?" Stephen was surprised by Kyle's sudden animation and the fact that he may have actually come up with something Kyle hadn't.

"Yes," Kyle effused. "_Tengerkutatás_."

Stephen frowned. "Is that Hungarian too?"

Kyle nodded. "It means 'oceanography'." Kyle was concerned that he hadn't made the connection before. His mind was definitely not functioning as well as it should be; but now it began to spark with this new revelation.

Stephen began to shake his head. "You've lost me."

Kyle continued virtually without a breath. "There's a book amongst Adam's things. A large, old book written in Hungarian. It's called _Tengerkutatás_. Adam hid a disk inside the cover of his copy for me. The disk contained an encoded message that told me not to trust Foss. But that message had apparently been tampered with and should have warned me not to trust _Taylor_."

"So the message in the piano music was directing you towards finding that disk?" Stephen was still a little confused.

"Maybe," Kyle turned and walked away, thinking. "But I don't think so. It seems too random for something that is obviously very important to me. Besides, I found that disk in a completely different way – also a series of strange clues." Kyle paused, remembering how he had discovered his holographic memory. And how watching Amanda's long fingers work the sound desk for Open Mic Night at The Rack had given him the key to unlocking that particular code. "No," he continued. "This feels different. The message in the piano music mentioned the study of 'Tengerkutatás'…Oceanography. There must be something else in that book. Something that Taylor didn't know about. I need to get hold of it and–" Suddenly Kyle's demeanour changed and his shoulders sagged. He went silent.

Stephen stood up and went over to him. "What, Kyle?"

Kyle turned and looked up at his adopted father. "If I end up in that chair before Jessi does, then the secrets in my head and the data retrieved into the C.I.R.'s system will be erased by your program. Then it won't matter what's in the book." He swallowed awkwardly and finished with, "Stephen, what if it erases _all_ of my memories?" It all sounded so final.

Stephen didn't know what to say. Even though he had altered the machine's programming to render only the targeted information invisible, the new program had not, of course, been tested. He had written the new parts of the existing software under extreme stress and tiredness. What if Kyle's fear was right? What if it were to erase _everything_ in the subject's head? All of a sudden, what had seemed like a secure way of defeating Madacorp's misguided intentions with the C.I.R. suddenly turned into a nightmare. As he looked into Kyle's eyes, he could tell the boy saw his concern.

Stephen's lack of reassurance that he would not lose his precious memories caused Kyle's fear to rear its ugly head. He had just acknowledged his true feelings and now the flood barriers were straining as more wanted to come out. He tried his best to force it all back, his head aching with the effort. He couldn't bear the thought of losing the memories of his family, his friends and…_Amanda_…the memories he had fought so hard to store up and relive in all their holographic glory. He looked into Stephen's eyes and saw his own helplessness reflected there. Kyle felt the familiar terror begin to rise. He looked down at the C.I.R. chair. It loomed impossibly large in his mind's eye. He tore his eyes away and looked back at Stephen.

Then a movement over Stephen's shoulder by the door caught Kyle's attention. Stephen turned to see what had distracted him. Standing outside the door, peering through the small window in it was Emily Hollander. She urgently pressed her finger to her lips signalling silence as she beckoned Kyle closer. He moved past Stephen towards the door. Emily checked either side of the corridor then motioned that they were being listened to before gesturing for him to look down. Kyle looked down as a small piece of folded paper appeared under the door. He bent down and retrieved it, and by the time he had stood up again, Emily had disappeared. Kyle turned back to Stephen and they looked at each other in puzzlement. Kyle's eyes fell to the folded paper in his fingers and he sat down slowly on the nearest chair, his fear temporarily distracted by curiosity.

Stephen came and sat beside him. He watched Kyle carefully unfold the paper and saw the boy's strange green eyes hardly even move as he read the contents in a fraction of the time it would have taken anyone else to do it. Kyle's eyes widened then his brow wrinkled in thought as he handed the note to Stephen and looked around the room, putting his finger over his lips for silence. Stephen examined the hastily scribbled note, which said:

BE CAREFUL. THE ROOM HAS 2-WAY INTERCOM BUT NO VIDEO. HELP IS COMING.

ELLEN KEZZA WILL SAVE YOU. NOW DESTROY THIS MESSAGE.

"What's going on?" Stephen asked, forgetting that they might be overheard. He cringed and looked at Kyle's bewildered face.

Kyle tore the note into tiny pieces. He mixed them up and separated them into two piles, throwing one into the wastepaper basket in the corner of the room; the other pile he split between himself and Stephen and placed his portion in his jeans pocket. Stephen placed his in the inside pocket of his suit jacket, realising that Kyle was attempting to prevent anyone piecing the full note together again.

Kyle responded to Stephen's question only with an exaggerated shrug.

oooOooo

Further down the narrow corridor, Brian Taylor left the control room he had been in with Ballantine and two C.I.R. technicians. Emily Hollander had excused herself moments before to visit the restroom. Taylor entered the other observation area where he found Jessi alone and staring into the dim room below. She turned as he entered.

"How are you, Jessi?" he asked politely, noticing the signs of her sedation.

"Who are _you_?" she quizzed him flatly, ignoring his pleasantries.

"I am the man who plans to change your life," Taylor said plainly. "But in order to do so, I need your help to get access to what's in Kyle's head."

Jessi turned away. "I've already told Mr. Ballantine…I can't get at it."

Taylor smiled dangerously and seated himself next to her as he said, "I know that. But he is going to try to get the information from Kyle's head with the C.I.R. If _you_ couldn't break through, I doubt the machine will be able to. It will probably kill Kyle before it even gets past his firewall. But you know how to get past it don't you, Jessi?"

"I don't want Kyle to die," she said without emotion, avoiding his question.

"Neither do I," Taylor said. "Because if Kyle dies, I will not be able to help _you_."

Jessi turned towards him and her drugged eyes narrowed, sending a chill through Brian Taylor. He could see there was much more than a distressed girl behind them. "I don't need your help. Mr. Ballantine has already promised me a new life," she stated. "I gave him what he needed to know about Kyle, and soon I will have a new life with Madacorp. A _real_ life with _real_ memories."

Taylor smiled again, hiding his concern at her fervour. "But there is something I can give you that Ballantine can't." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a photograph. He handed it to Jessi, and watched as she looked at it. She turned it over in her hand, examining the back.

"This isn't Kyle's picture," she said, her whole face changing to an expression of wonder. "There's no writing on the back." She looked up at Taylor.

Taylor was taken aback, not realising that Kyle had a copy of his own, or that he had already shown it to Jessi. He shook his head. "No. That is my own copy."

"But where did you get it?" she asked more excitedly then stared once more at the face of the woman who looked exactly like her. "I know this woman isn't me. Kyle didn't know who she is. Do you?"

Taylor took the picture back gently and nodded. "If you agree to help me stop Ballantine from making a big mistake with Kyle, I will tell you all about her."

Jessi's eyes lit up. "What do I have to do?" she asked eagerly, imagining herself talking with the woman whose DNA she carried. Jessi began to see a chance to bring down Ballantine and Madacorp for all the pain they had caused her.

Taylor leaned in and said close to her ear, "You have to tell me how to break through Kyle's firewall."

"I'm afraid that information is classified," a familiar voice boomed across the intercom causing both Taylor and Jessi to jump. Taylor kicked himself internally for not realising the 2-way intercom was switched on in _this_ room considering he'd been listening over the intercom in the control room to Kyle and Stephen's interesting conversation from the other observation area just minutes before.

Within seconds, Julian Ballantine had entered the room from next door and said calmly, "It's all right, Jessi. Things will be just fine. You have my word that our agreement will be fulfilled after I have got what I need from Kyle's head. You should not trust this man."

Taylor glanced at Jessi and said, "Don't listen to him, Jessi, he's lying! He will kill Kyle."

Jessi's face began to show signs of confusion. She ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't want you to hurt Kyle. He helped me."

Ballantine drew back his lips in a smile. "I have no intention of hurting him. That would defeat the purpose of what I'm trying to get from him. Besides, thanks to your help, Jessi, the C.I.R. has been recalibrated to be more accurate and should cause much less discomfort. We've been working on it all afternoon."

"He's lying, Jessi!" Taylor said again, almost growling with frustration, remembering what Stephen told him about having reprogrammed the machine.

Ballantine suddenly turned on him. "Mr. Taylor, I would appreciate it if you would stay out of what no longer concerns you."

Taylor almost lost his composure as he balled his hands into fists at his sides and squeezed out through his teeth, "Ballantine, you _must not_ put Kyle into that chair!"

Ballantine looked at him with hard, black eyes and said calmly, "You are welcome to watch, but if you try to stop this procedure, I will have you escorted from the department. Permanently."

Taylor's face turned to ice. He straightened his jacket and said to Jessi, "Remember what I said." To Ballantine he said, "You are making a huge mistake. You don't know who you're dealing with."

Ballantine smiled coldly and said, as he indicated with his arm for Taylor to lead the way from the room, "Preparations are already under way. The boy goes into the chair for his first run in one hour."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Resignation_)


	40. Resignation

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Here's the next bit…sorry for not updating sooner, but I've been really distracted this week! Happy reading – and many thanks to everyone for the wonderful feedback you've been giving. Please keep it coming! Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day! (17Mar08)

(Previous chapter: _Memories_)

* * *

Chapter 40:  
**Resignation**

Brian Taylor seethed inwardly as he entered the control room followed closely by Julian Ballantine. Emily Hollander had encountered them both in the corridor upon returning from the restroom and she could sense the tension in the air between the two men. Taylor seemed particularly uptight as their eyes met briefly before he turned away.

"Has the boy said anything else that may be useful?" Ballantine asked the technician who hovered over the C.I.R. Suite control panel.

"No, Mr. Ballantine," the rather dour woman replied, adjusting the volume of the intercom. "Stephen's been asking him a few questions, but the boy's been pretty reluctant to speak. If you ask me, he seems upset."

Ballantine considered that; Kyle was not to be underestimated. "I think we need to be careful. That boy's brain is very powerful; he's probably realised we're listening." Emily shifted uncomfortably, hoping Ballantine had not associated her leaving the room earlier with Kyle's 'realisation'. The man eyed Emily before saying, "I trust you checked your _travel arrangements_ while you were in the restroom?"

"Yes," Emily said curtly, cursing the man's shrewdness; he was not easily fooled. She had, indeed, made a call to her mother to make sure Paige was safe, and was greatly relieved that Ballantine had stuck to his word.

He turned away from her and said to the technician in control of the C.I.R., "Is everything in order? I want the machine online for use in ten minutes." The male technician nodded the affirmative.

"But that's not enough time!" Emily interjected. Ballantine spun round and Emily kicked herself inwardly for the speed of her reaction. "Kyle hasn't been prepped for the procedure yet. We need at least twenty minutes, preferably forty, for the drugs to even take effect." She cleared her throat of an imaginary obstruction and continued. "Which I need to talk to you about."

Ballantine turned to face her fully and took his seat. He leaned back and looked up at her appraisingly, his steepled fingers tapping his lips absently. "Is there a problem?"

Emily met his gaze firmly. "Only that I didn't expect to be putting _Kyle_ in the chair today and the–"

"We have Mr. Taylor to thank for that," Ballantine interrupted; Taylor stabbed at him with narrowed eyes.

Emily blurted, "The medical staff haven't been given enough notice and I'm not comfortable using the proposed medication on Kyle without the proper protocols in place." Once she had begun, the rest seemed to escape from her like a runaway horse. "Based on the fact that Jessi had never resisted the C.I.R. until a few days ago, we've had many opportunities to assess and tailor her drug requirements for the chair. But what you've approved for Kyle goes far beyond what we give to Jessi. I know what similar drugs do to normal people under interrogation, but we don't know anything about how Kyle's body will react. I have the clearance to administer the drugs, but I'm not qualified to deal with any medical emergencies that may result. I need the proper backup. I don't want to cause irreparable damage to either of these children." She ended her rant by snapping her mouth shut. She felt marginally better for having voiced her genuine concerns, but the look on Ballantine's face told her she had probably wasted her breath.

The man's already dark eyes seemed to darken further. "You seem to have forgotten why you were assigned to this project. I trust you will do what is necessary to facilitate your objective to retrieve what the boy knows. These are company assets, Miss Hollander. Ordered and paid for. Or have you forgotten that also?"

Emily still struggled with the magnitude of the ZZYZX experiments every time she encountered Jessi or Kyle. She tried to defend her personal integrity against Ballantine's insinuations. "Maybe so, but they are children nonetheless."

"At last, someone is talking sense," Taylor spoke up. "Listen to her, Ballantine! If you break Kyle, you won't be able to fix him like a piece of hardware. What that boy holds in his head you cannot afford to lose through lack of judgment or impatience."

Ballantine shot him a sidelong glance before returning his gaze to Emily. "Permission denied," he stated with a tone that precluded argument. "We don't have time for formalities. We need to do this while we have the opportunity. Kyle's mind is powerful, but not powerful enough to resist the C.I.R. now that we have the enhanced power feeds, the right cocktail of drugs…and most importantly, the key to breaching his siege wall."

Taylor frowned and bit his tongue. He wanted to lunge at the man and beat some sense into his intelligent – but rigid – mind. "Drugs!" he spat. "You have no concept of what you're dealing with here!" he hissed.

Ballantine stood and stared him down. "On the contrary, Mr. Taylor, I've read the files. Project 781227 should have been terminated for failing to meet the primary criteria stipulated by Professors Thatcher and Kern. Once I have the information I require – and have ensured that XY no longer carries it in his brain – he'll be free to go. I have no use for an asset that can't be controlled."

Taylor was so incredulous he almost laughed. "So, despite knowing that even the top scientists at ZZYZX couldn't subdue the strength of this boy's mind with drugs or state-of-the-art neuro-specific technology, you still believe it will be that easy to bring down his firewall with _this_ machine?" Taylor shook his head and waved his hand in a loose gesture to emphasise the C.I.R.

"No, I don't," Ballantine gave a half-smile as he moved past him towards the door. "Which is why I have secured the use of something much better suited to the job. Something a little more adaptable." Taylor frowned as Ballantine opened the door and took a step into the corridor. The man turned and said over his shoulder to the C.I.R. technician, "Load the restoration settings for 781228."

"_Jessi_?" Taylor asked, puzzled. "But she already admitted she can't break through."

Ballantine smiled confidently. "That was before she provided us with something important about Kyle. The drugs and the C.I.R. will provide the means for the girl to pick the lock. As soon as she raises the portcullis, the C.I.R. will storm the castle, so to speak. Soon we will know just what secrets Kyle holds."

oooOooo

Kyle's head was pounding painfully with each beat of his heart. There was a terrible feeling of foreboding building inside him. His attempts to stop his rising panic were taking their toll and he felt sick and desperately thirsty. He badly wanted to find a way of getting Stephen and Jessi to safety, but his thoughts seemed to dematerialise the second they were formed. He felt an almost irresistible urge to cry, but pulled it back, telling himself that it would not be helpful at this point. He brought one foot up onto the edge of his seat and rested his forehead against his knee, hugging his leg close as though embracing it would comfort him. He closed his eyes, but it didn't help to stop the pain in his head. After a few moments, he swallowed down the lump forming in his overly dry throat and said, "Stephen, when they take me down to the chair…I don't want you to watch."

"What?" Stephen was horrified. From his seat by the door, he glanced over at Kyle, whose face was turned away against the leg he was hugging. Kyle had been silent for some time, but this was not what Stephen had next expected to hear from him.

Kyle stood up and approached the observation window. He pressed his palms against it, clawing unconsciously at the smooth surface. He tilted his head until his forehead came to rest against the cool glass then took a ragged breath. "I'm going to make Ballantine let you and Jessi go." He exhaled slowly in an attempt to relax himself.

Stephen felt a terrible chill begin to emanate from somewhere behind his heart and course its way through his body. It seemed that his adopted son's naivety was back to haunt him with a vengeance. "Kyle, that is not going to happen. You can't _make_ Ballantine do anything."

Kyle lifted his head and fixed Stephen firmly with his penetrating eyes. "I want you to be with Nicole, and Lori and Josh. They're probably really worried by now. And I want you to take Jessi to Foss so that he can take her somewhere safe. I don't want anyone I care about to see what happens when I go down there." Kyle dared a quick glance into the gloom of the dormant C.I.R. room below.

Stephen didn't like the defeat he heard in Kyle's voice. This boy who had brought so much life into their home was talking like his own life was over before it had even begun. Did Kyle know something he didn't? Stephen shuddered. He knew that Kyle would have run through every probable scenario; he also knew that Kyle's amazing mind would discard any scenarios that involved risk to other people. His sense of guilt for putting his family in danger was also written all over his face. Even if Stephen disagreed, he knew there was no point in arguing with someone who had processed everything hundreds of times over by now, and who had still come to the conclusion that co-operation with Ballantine was the only viable option. That is, unless Emily Hollander's cryptic message could really be taken as a sign of hope. It was difficult to know whom to trust…and who on earth was Ellen Kezza anyway? Another mysterious person from Kyle's unique past? Whoever she was, Stephen hoped she would hurry up and save Kyle.

"I need you to promise me you'll go," Kyle insisted, though his voice was barely a whisper. "I don't want the experience of seeing me in that chair to be your last memory of me." His voice stuck for a moment before he managed, "And I don't want to go down there without ever knowing whether you got out of here safely or not."

Stephen's breath caught in his chest. Even despite the great threat to himself, Kyle was still thinking of others, and it was obvious to Stephen that Kyle was convinced he was going to either lose his memories or his life. And it was also obvious to Stephen that at this moment memories and life amounted to the same thing as far as Kyle was concerned. Stephen stared at the boy he had grown to love as a son, frozen to the spot, unable to make that promise, unable to do anything at all.

The fluorescent lights in the room below flickered on, flooding the observation area with sudden brightness, which momentarily blinded Kyle. He gasped and stepped back from the window, eyes widened in terror, as the chair seemed to come menacingly to life; Emily Hollander appeared with a clipboard and began her routine check of the equipment.

There was hardly time to react before the beeping of the access panel for the door to the observation lounge caused both Stephen and Kyle to snap their heads towards the sound. A woman Stephen recognised as one of the C.I.R. technicians held the door open and Julian Ballantine stepped into the room carrying two paper cups. He handed one to Stephen and then advanced towards Kyle proffering the other. For a fleeting moment, with the reflected light from the room below, he clearly saw the frightened child in the boy known as 781227 before that boy straightened into a man and met him almost eye-to-eye.

"I'm sure you both could do with some refreshment," Ballantine said, taking in the pallor of Kyle's face. "My apologies for the delay."

Kyle eyed him cautiously then allowed his eyes to drop to the cup in the man's hand: water. He desperately wanted the drink. Ballantine lifted the cup towards him whereby Kyle extended his arm and took it slowly without taking his eyes off Ballantine's. He began to raise the drink to his lips and paused. His eyes darted to Stephen, who had already downed half his water, then back to Ballantine. Something was nagging at him, though the deafening heartbeat pounding in his ears and his overwhelming desire to quench his thirst crowded his intuition out. He tipped his head back and gulped the water down in one long draught, revelling in its coldness against the dry tightness of his throat and wishing there was more. The water was gone in seconds. Kyle held the cup out for Ballantine, who took it, while the corners of his mouth curled up in the subtlest of smiles.

That small, unconscious movement on Ballantine's part unnerved Kyle. A tiny crack appeared in his desperately constructed defences and he felt the discomfort of that sickly polar wind as some of it seeped from behind his fear. Before he could register what had happened, his mind had pushed Julian Ballantine and himself apart. The force wasn't strong enough to knock the man to the ground and he reeled backwards a few steps before regaining his balance; his eyes were wide with shock. Kyle fell against the large window with a loud thud, causing it to shake, but the impact wasn't significant enough to do any damage. Stephen cowered in his seat, but had been too far away to catch the small blast. He did see Emily Hollander look up from the C.I.R. room, but unable to see past the reflection of the one-way glass, she returned to her duties.

Kyle momentarily lost control of his breathing and felt the light-headedness of mild hyperventilation. He crouched with his back against the window trying to stave off the feeling of panic that was brewing, eyes on Ballantine the whole time. He felt the man's heart rate increase slightly and saw his eyebrows arch, but those were the only signs of his surprise.

"That's very interesting," Ballantine remarked, adjusting his jacket sleeves. "It seems your talents go far beyond what I was led to believe. There's obviously more in your mind than information."

Kyle winced and sucked in a sharp breath as the aftershock shooting pain lanced through the centre of his head; it didn't go unnoticed. Stephen pushed past Ballantine and helped Kyle to stand. "Ballantine, what you're doing is illegal. You have no right to hold us here."

"Actually, Stephen, _you_ are free to go," Ballantine said as he moved towards the large window. "In fact, I insist that you do. You are dismissed with immediate effect for tampering with the C.I.R. system without my authorisation. And I think you should know that your changes have been amended accordingly." Then he glanced at Kyle, who had paled even further. "Kyle, on the other hand, is the property of this company, and I have every right to detain him. But don't worry, I don't intend to harm him…if he chooses to resist the chair he will be harming himself. When he gives me the information, he will be free to go also."

Stephen's anger rose in an instant. "Property of this company? What are you talking about? Kyle is my son! I have legal papers to prove it. And you can't fire me, because I resign."

Ballantine's eyes were still on Kyle as he said, "Troubled teenagers disappear all the time, Stephen. Sometimes they're gone for days, sometimes weeks or months. And sometimes they're never seen or heard of again. And we all know that Kyle's past is full of difficulties, isn't that right, Kyle?"

Kyle felt his throat constricting as he realised that in some respects Ballantine _was_ right. It would come as no surprise to the police if Kyle disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared in the forest. And his medical and social services records showed mental disturbance, psychological counselling, homelessness, a fostering situation, abduction and the death of his parents – more than enough troubles to precipitate post-traumatic stress-induced amnesia and disappearance. It would be difficult to convince the authorities there was any foul play involved, and Kyle knew that Madacorp was more than adequately equipped to cover Ballantine's tracks should the Tragers try to implicate the company. He was trapped. There really was no choice than to go to the chair.

Kyle's eyes moved to Stephen's face. "Please, Stephen. Go home. I'll be fine," he said as bravely as he could.

"No!" Stephen snapped then turned to Ballantine. "I'll get my things, but I am not leaving this building without my son. I don't care how long I have to wait. And if you don't deliver him safely to me, I swear I'll do everything in my power to expose what you have done to him."

Ballantine nodded towards the door and two security guards entered. "Please escort Mr. Trager to the main lobby and make sure security knows he is not to be allowed back up here."

"Wait!" Kyle suddenly spoke up. "What about Jessi?"

"What about her?" Ballantine asked, a little confused.

Kyle leaned back on the large window for support as he said, "Now that you have me, you don't need Jessi anymore. I want you to let her go with Stephen."

Ballantine glanced into the room below and smiled like a man with a secret. "On the contrary, Kyle, I haven't quite finished with Jessi yet." He paused then said, more firmly, "Control Room, proceed."

Kyle noticed Ballantine nod slightly as the lights in the C.I.R. room suddenly dimmed. The blue glow of the machine reflected in the man's eyes. Within just a few seconds a familiar buzzing sensation exploded in Kyle's head as Jessi's mind seem to suddenly come back online. It shocked him and he gasped as he spun to see Jessi strapped into the chair. "No!" he shouted pathetically and slammed his hands against the window. "Don't hurt her!" His heart pounded harder. As much as Jessi had betrayed him, he couldn't bear to watch her suffer at the hands of Madacorp. He was just about to let go of his defences and cry when the machine powered down and the lights came back up. Jessi was released from the chair. She looked sleepy, but otherwise she seemed to be in good health; there were no signs of distress or discomfort. Kyle frowned and looked at Ballantine. "I don't understand."

"I told you, Kyle. I have no intention of hurting anyone," the man oozed.

"I want to see her," Kyle demanded as he watched Jessi leave the C.I.R. room. Something then washed over him and he blinked a couple of times in an attempt to clear his head.

Ballantine shifted his weight as he studied Kyle intensely. "All in good time. But now I think it's time for you to meet C.I.R." Kyle shook his head slightly. Ballantine spoke again to the control room. "Load the settings for 781227. Oh…and tell Miss Hollander that she doesn't need to worry about being responsible for administering the boy's drugs. I've done it for her." He scrunched Kyle's empty paper cup that he still held into a ball and threw it towards the wastepaper basket.

Kyle's eyes filled with fear, followed closely by anger at himself for not having listened to what his intuition had been trying to say earlier on. "What have you given me?"

"I'm sure Emily will be able to explain it much better than I can," the taller man said honestly. "Are you ready?"

Stephen was rigid with outrage as he looked into Kyle's eyes. The thought rose up that it could be for the last time and he suddenly found his voice. "Please, Kyle, just give him what he wants! Don't try to resist the machine," he urged, frantic with worry.

Ballantine turned and ordered the security officers to escort the loudly protesting Stephen Trager from the C.I.R. Suite then turned back to Kyle. The boy's eyes followed Stephen's departure until he was out of sight then he turned his gaze on the man who had caused so much pain to the people he cared about. Ballantine couldn't avoid a slight shudder as he noticed that Kyle's eyes burned brightly with something other than tears…something he just couldn't read.

"I'm ready," Kyle said sadly.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Q & A_)


	41. Q & A

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**:

Sorry it's taken a bit longer – as I've said before, life's been busy and I've not had much time for working on my beloved epic tale of the Kyle XY kind! The next few chapters are generally part of one big (complicated) section, but I've divided it into these smaller chapters to allow for more frequent updating (otherwise you'd all be waiting till I've had the time to do the whole BIG section)…I hope you enjoy! Thanks to you ALL for your support and for the marvellous reviews – please keep them coming. Love to you all! (25Mar08)

(Previous chapter: _Resignation_)

* * *

Chapter 41:  
**Analysis**

_The human brain is truly a wonder of nature. Its complexities have continually eluded scientists, except for maybe those who had worked with Adam Baylin at ZZYZX. Julian Ballantine's description of me as 'company property' had acutely reminded me that I was an experiment, created for a purpose that was still unclear to me. As I faced the prospect of Madacorp's Cerebral Impulse Relay, a part of me couldn't help but wonder what Ballantine might find. A much bigger part of me, however, feared it. Would this experimental technology provide answers and therefore put valuable information into dangerous hands? Or would it put an end to the experiment it sought to understand? That experiment being ME… _

Kyle ran over in his mind what had just occurred, suddenly not sure that his increasingly apparent Swiss cheese mind had perceived it correctly: Ballantine had insisted that Kyle use the bathroom then remove his shoes and socks, overshirt and all metal objects from his person. After emptying his bladder, removing his shoes and socks, plaid shirt and the belt from his jeans, Kyle had emptied the small change and door keys from his pockets, and had stood before Ballantine nervously looking down at the one remaining metal item that lay glinting against the white of his T-shirt. It was probably his most treasured possession and he had swallowed hard as he'd slipped the leather cord over his head, reluctant to let it go.

"I believe this belongs to me," Ballantine had said as he'd taken the Latnok ring from Kyle's hand and had inspected the tiny initials inscribed on the inside of the band under the insignia. Kyle had started to protest, but stopped when Ballantine had said, "It belonged to my late father, Arthur Ballantine."

Kyle had not been able to detect any hint of dishonesty about that, and no further explanations or recriminations had been forthcoming from Ballantine. Kyle recalled what Taylor had said about Ballantine's father when he and Stephen were in the van: that he had been an esteemed member of Latnok. Kyle had first noticed the tiny initials a few days before when he and Jessi were in the woods and had discovered the secret map hidden in the ring's deep blue stone. Kyle frowned; he had assumed the initials stood for _Adam Baylin._ If this ring belonged to Ballantine, then where was Adam's ring? Who had bought it from the pawnbroker? Kyle's blood had run somewhat colder at the thought that he had wrongly accused Ballantine, and had stolen _his_ ring believing it to be Adam's. But why had Ballantine's ring led to the place where Kyle and Jessi had found Adam alive? Did both of the Latnok rings point to the same place? But Kyle hadn't had the time to follow through on the puzzle of the ring before Ballantine was herding him forward, snapping him back to the present.

In the time it took to walk from the security point to the door of the C.I.R. room, Kyle's head had started to spin and his legs felt weak. Nausea surged up, then passed just as quickly. It felt to Kyle as though the air was slowly being squeezed from his lungs, as he said, "What are you going to do with the information if you get it?" He gasped in another lungful of air, puzzled as to why he felt like he was grinning.

Ballantine didn't even glance at Kyle as he replied, "That is not your concern."

"What is in my head is very much my concern," Kyle argued then became aware that he really was grinning. He put his fingers to his lips just to be sure.

Ballantine did glance up then and was initially taken aback by the sight of Kyle's smile. "Ah, good," he said. "I see the medication is taking effect." The boy's eyes were not smiling, however.

Ballantine guided Kyle into the C.I.R. room where Emily Hollander was waiting for him. The clinical white flooring felt cool under Kyle's bare feet, and when he saw the chair, his legs began to tremble. "I feel strange," he murmured to nobody in particular, no longer smiling and feeling as weak as a kitten. He put his fingers to his temples and began to sink to his knees before either Hollander or Ballantine could stop him. With some effort, and no words at all, the two of them managed to manoeuvre a wobbly Kyle into the chair and secure the straps across his chest, thighs and limbs. He was too dizzy to protest. Ballantine then left to return to the control room.

Kyle noticed that Emily looked concerned, and his heart started to race as she began attaching a small bundle of sensors to the back of his right hand with surgical tape. Kyle already knew that the nature of the C.I.R. precluded the necessity of attaching sensors to the head and chest. Similar to the computer attached to his tank at ZZYZX, this innovative technology seemed able to interpret the finer biological readings wirelessly through the impulses received and sent through the subject's brain, only here there was no fluid to conduct them; it was done magnetically. Kyle noticed also that Emily's hands were shaking as she stretched the tape across the sensors to hold them in place; their purpose puzzled him for some reason. He looked up at her and rolled his eyes a couple of times trying to focus properly. Why couldn't he work out the purpose of the sensors? He shook his head slightly in an attempt to clear it.

"What are they for?" he finally asked, trying to raise his taped hand and causing Emily to jump at the sound of his voice.

She continued to fuss with the little objects. "One is for your heart rate, one is for your hydration levels and the other is for your blood oxygen levels." She answered his question without embellishment. "And this is for monitoring your blood pressure," she added as she wrapped the specially designed wireless cuff around his upper arm. The small band felt like a pincushion against his sensitised skin.

Kyle followed Emily with his eyes as she stepped back and began adjusting various knobs and sliders on the waist-high white console beside the chair. She adjusted three dials and suddenly the display came to life: figures and colours began to flash, and a steady beep was emitted in sync with Kyle's anxious heartbeat. She picked up her clipboard and began to make notes. She checked the console's power level, glad that it had its own internal battery. She didn't want any potential problems with the chair's power supply, which they had occasionally had glitches with previously, to affect her ability to monitor the subject's medical readouts, especially those of _this_ subject. She tested the oxygen bottle and mask and checked them off her list also.

"What did Ballantine put in my water?" Kyle asked outright; his fingers and toes were starting to tingle uncomfortably and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

Emily stopped what she was doing and allowed herself a moment to study this extraordinary boy whose very existence had transformed her original mission from Jessi's capture and subsequent manipulation into this covert and dangerous procedure to be performed on the boy himself. It disturbed her to see that where Jessi had displayed almost no emotions, or at least limited ones, this boy's eyes showed real depth…and real fear. She had never actually considered his importance before, and wondered what he carried that made Ballantine so eager to get inside his head. Something else puzzled her: despite their obvious similarities, these two children, Kyle and Jessi, seemed to be fundamentally very different. Something in Jessi's eyes had often frightened Emily, but Kyle showed none of that darkness. His eyes locked onto hers and something about the way he looked at her forced her to answer his question honestly.

She explained, "To get the best results, the C.I.R. requires that the subject is calm, fully conscious and doesn't hold back or resist. The drugs help to ensure those things and make the experience easier all round for you and the machine."

Kyle turned his head slightly, mindful of the strange apparatus surrounding it, and said flatly, "You didn't answer my question."

"Just something to relax you," Emily stated quickly.

"I told you before," Kyle said. "I can tell when you're not being truthful."

Emily sighed, knowing she was not going to be able to lie. "Okay. Ballantine gave you a cocktail of substances created by our pharmacologist. An anti-emetic to stop you being sick, and various things similar to benzodiazepines – to stop you feeling so anxious, stop you convulsing, to relax your muscles – that kind of thing."

"There's something else" Kyle had another sudden urge to grin and failed to resist it.

Emily eyed him with caution, unnerved by his smile. "They also added a tiny amount of something to…help expand your consciousness a bit, and to…keep you awake."

Kyle processed what she said and his expression changed. "Is your family safe now that I'm here?" he asked genuinely, now sounding irrefutably intoxicated.

Emily had not expected that question at all. She felt a terrible sense of guilt as she answered quietly, "Yes, Kyle. They're safe." She almost dropped the clipboard as his face contorted from the previous mild amusement to sudden, and profound, distress.

"Will _my_ family be safe now that I'm here?" he sobbed.

She tried to tell herself it was just the effects of the medication, but deep inside she could tell that this was not just a drug-induced mood swing; Kyle was genuinely frightened for the Tragers. She looked away from his face, unable to let herself acknowledge his despair, and fixed her eyes on his hand. She resisted the maternal temptation to hold it, instead saying, "As far as I know, Madacorp's only interest in them was _you_."

Kyle seemed satisfied that she wasn't holding back the truth. "And Jessi?" he asked, a rogue tear trailing its way down the side of his nose.

Emily raised her eyes to his and froze; what could she tell him? "Don't worry about Jessi," she said as calmly as she could. "She will be taken care of." It wasn't a lie.

Kyle's eyes suddenly moved to the ceiling as his head fell back onto the C.I.R.'s headrest. He blinked heavily a couple of times. "I won't let them hurt her," he murmured, his words slurred badly. He let out a small whimper, unable to verbalise his distress at that moment.

Emily felt her own heart rate increasing with her emotional discomfort. She had thus far been loyal to the ideals and ethics of Madacorp, a great and progressive company. And there had been many times where she had remained true to her objectives even when others saw her methods of operation as questionable; but now, in this room that housed one of the most advanced prototype machines on the planet, she didn't feel comfortable at all. And staring down into the eyes of one of the most advanced prototype human beings on the planet filled her with a simultaneous sense of wonder and dread. He was just a boy. They had been right, though: he _was_ different to Jessi; she could sense it. What was Ballantine about to do to him? She swallowed and buried her eyes in the notes on her clipboard, inwardly praying that whoever Ellen Kezza was, she had better hurry if she wanted to help this unique and gentle boy. Emily cursed herself for going soft, and straightened her spine. She would do what she had to do for the sake of her family.

Kyle squeezed his eyes shut as yet another wave of dizziness hit him, aware that fear was waiting in the shadows to grab him when he wasn't looking…but he would do what he had to do for the sake of his family. He opened his eyes and frowned: that thought had come from somewhere else, though it completely echoed his own sentiments. He tried to focus on Emily and said, "I understand."

Emily looked up, perturbed. It was like he had read her mind. She shook herself internally, convincing herself that her heightened anxiety over what was about to happen was affecting her thoughts. She did notice, however, that Kyle's expression had changed once again: he seemed to be deep in thought. When he hadn't blinked for several long moments, Emily became concerned and leaned closer. Kyle suddenly shuddered.

"I didn't text her…I never told her…" he said so quietly that if Emily hadn't been leaning so close to his head she would have missed it.

She frowned, concerned that the drugs combined with the C.I.R. were not going to do Kyle's precious brain much good at all. For the initial procedure, she needed to be able to ask him questions and it seemed that his thoughts and emotions were all over the place already; he couldn't even speak properly. Or was this normal for someone like Kyle under these conditions? The problem was that nobody really knew; the only people who understood more about Kyle's physiology than anyone else had been killed in the explosion at ZZYZX months before.

"Is everything ready for the first run?" Ballantine's voice boomed over the intercom. Kyle cried out and winced as Ballantine's voice rang painfully in his ears.

Emily recovered herself from the shock of his reaction and turned to look up at the control room. "I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"Stand back, Miss Hollander. The initial scan of 781227 begins in sixty seconds," Ballantine stated with total disregard for Emily's concern.

Emily couldn't stop herself from laying her hand on Kyle's arm as she said very quietly, "Just try to relax and everything will be fine."

Kyle became aware of the room's white lights dimming, leaving only the peaceful blue cast of the C.I.R.'s lights as it powered up. From where he was sitting, the machine made a quiet humming noise, similar to – but not as loud as – the hospital's M.R.I. scanner that he had been under twice before in his short life. A sudden red laser-like beam emanated from the apparatus above his head and Kyle tensed, expecting pain. The beam swept down his face from the back of his head then up again. There was no pain at all, and that surprised him. Maybe Ballantine really didn't want to hurt him. Kyle leaned his head back in relief and stared up into the headpiece, with its small flashing lights, irregular hypnotic light beams and its buzzing that sounded like the wind through long grass. He allowed himself to drift in his own drugged mind, trying to find a comfortable place to rest from the fear that had gripped him so tightly for the past few days.

oooOooo

Stephen Trager sat beside a large ornamental plant in the main Madacorp lobby. After being physically dragged away from Kyle, Stephen had insisted that he be allowed to procure his belongings from his workstation in Research & Development, and did so under the keen eye of Security Chief Ortega. Ortega himself had escorted the former Madacorp employee to the main lobby and had left him there. Stephen watched everyone around him going about their business, each of them totally ignorant of what terrible things were going on behind Madacorp's glowing reputation for doing good works. He wanted to scream that they were going to hurt his son, but nipped that urge in the bud, realising it would serve no useful purpose except to get him thrown out of the building.

Sure that nobody important was taking any notice of him, Stephen removed a cell phone from a discreet inner pocket of his briefcase. He had taken the precaution of resurrecting Josh's first cell phone. He had kept it charged as an emergency phone, just as Nicole had kept Lori's. The technology was old, but it worked and there was enough credit to make a call free of any of the bugs Ballantine may have decided to attach to Stephen's contract phone. When he'd heard that Foss had made Kyle get rid of his cell phone because Madacorp was probably monitoring it, Stephen had taken that on board as a possibility with his own phone. He took a deep breath, dialled a number then sighed with relief when the call connected.

"Nicole?" he whispered. "Can you hear me?"

Nicole's relief was also apparent. "Stephen! Thank God! Are you okay? And Kyle?"

Stephen paused to look around, and seeing that it was still safe to speak, he said, "Listen, can you call me back on this number?"

A few seconds later the phone vibrated and Stephen lifted it to his ear, leaning back virtually into the plant. Hearing Nicole's voice brought tears to his eyes. "Nicole, they have Kyle. We need to call the police right away."

"I know about Kyle," Nicole empathised, sounding equally distressed. "But we can't call the police. Where are you?"

Stephen was confused, and wiped the unwanted tears from his eyes. "In the main lobby at Madacorp. I'm not leaving without Kyle."

Suddenly a different voice said, "Mr. Trager. _Stephen_. Where is Kyle?"

"Tom? Are you with Nicole?" Stephen's confusion was growing by the second.

"Yes," Foss said firmly. "Where is Kyle?"

Stephen's throat constricted. "When I was taken away, Ballantine had given him some kind of medication and was just getting ready to take him down to the chair. That was about…fifteen minutes ago, I think." His tears began in earnest as he recalled leaving Kyle. "I left him alone so I could call the police. Now I can't get back up there. They've locked me out of the system." He tried to restrain himself from sobbing and finished with, "God forgive me, I left him alone." He covered his eyes with his other hand.

"You did a good thing getting out of there," Foss said with honesty. "But you have to keep it together. Kyle's life may depend on you listening to me very carefully."

The firmness of Tom Foss' voice and the sudden restoration of hope banished Stephen's tears and he sat up straight. "I'm listening."

oooOooo

"Kyle, can you hear me?" She said.

Emily Hollander's voice sounded melodious to him. He found he could separate the individual vibrations that combined inside her larynx to produce that wonderful sound. His eyes were transfixed on her throat. Suddenly a waving hand appeared in front of his eyes and broke his concentration. He looked up into Emily's eyes. They were so dark that even despite the blue lighting, he could see his own reflection in them. He seemed different somehow.

"Yes," he virtually whispered.

"Do you know who you are?" that wonderful voice spoke again.

Kyle felt a broad, yet unwanted, smile break across his face. "I'm an experiment."

Emily leaned back and said to the control room, "Ballantine, I think he's too fried for this to work."

"On the contrary," the intercom crackled slightly. "His responses are truthful. The machine is running and seems to be functioning just fine. Proceed with the preliminary strategy."

Emily frowned and leaned towards Kyle once again with her clipboard at the ready as she glanced at his medical readouts. "Where were you born?" she asked.

"I wasn't born," Kyle responded truthfully, his smile dropping.

"Then where did you come from?" Emily rephrased her question, sensing his awkwardness.

Kyle swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment before saying with difficulty, "S-S-Seattle." He didn't like the questions, and he didn't want to tell Emily about his past. Everything around him seemed brighter and louder, but his mind knew he had been drugged. He tried to focus on his own reflection in Emily's eyes.

"Do you remember your parents?" Emily's question cut through his concentration.

He was not going to talk about Nicole and Stephen. He would leave them out of it. "I don't have any parents," he heard himself say. A lump caught in his throat.

Emily checked her list. "What about Nicole and Stephen? Aren't _they_ your parents?"

Kyle didn't want to think about Nicole and Stephen! He felt a sudden surge of frustration and tried to raise his hands. Reflex action caused Emily to step backwards. That's when Kyle felt the subtle tingle in his mind, like a tiny burst of heat. The C.I.R. was in his head! He panicked and sought the foreign vibration elsewhere. He tried to lock it out, but it moved just beyond his mental grasp each time he got close. The beeping of his heart rate increased slightly.

"Do you remember where you were before you lived with the Tragers?" Emily continued with her set questions, glancing at the readouts briefly.

Kyle squirmed in the chair, not wanting to give up any of his private thoughts. "The woods," he squeezed out almost against his will.

"And before that?" Emily's voice was becoming almost hypnotic.

"D-Don't remember," Kyle gasped, as he felt the squeeze of the machine's force in his head. It seemed that the further into his past Emily ventured, the more acute the sensation from the machine. It was a curious feeling, and not what Kyle had anticipated at all.

"You don't remember being in the lab at ZZYZX?" Emily asked.

Kyle's mind responded to the question in spite of his external silence. A fleeting window of clarity allowed him to realise that this was the whole point. By asking direct questions, Emily was prompting his brain to actively look for the memories pertaining to that question, and by speaking the answers aloud, he was activating that memory and no doubt illuminating its neural pathway in his brain on the C.I.R's readout. And the further Emily's questions delved into his past, the deeper the machine was able to track into his memory. His brain was being mapped.

"No!" Kyle cried out loudly, causing Emily to drop the clipboard. The clatter on the hard floor sent shockwaves through Kyle's drug-sensitised hearing. He felt something shift slightly inside his head as the echo of his own fear rattled around inside him. There was a sudden dilemma dangling before him like a pendulum: should he save himself and give in to both the drugs and the machine? Or should he stop Ballantine from retrieving the secrets in his head at all costs, even if it meant losing his mind, his life, or both? He found himself hovering precariously between _yes_ and _no_…wishing that his head would clear just enough to allow a definite decision. Then the decision was made for him.

"Tell me about _Amanda_," Emily said.

Kyle slammed his head back against the headrest and began desperately searching his memory for something to focus on to force Amanda out of his mind. In a split-second he had found something that would serve the purpose perfectly.

"És formálta vala az Úr Isten az embert a földnek porából…" Kyle began to recite the Hungarian Bible passages that had been encoded in the music on Amanda's CD. "…és lehellett vala az õ orrába életnek lehelletét. Így lõn az ember élõ lélekké…"

Emily pursed her lips in concern and looked up at the control room. She shook her head. "He's fried. I can't continue with this."

"…És monad Isten: Teremtsünk embert a mi képünkre és hasonlatosságunkra; és uralkodjék a tenger halain, az ég madarain…" Kyle continued to recite, slurring the words, but speaking them nonetheless. It got easier. "…a barmokon, mind az egész földön, és a földön csúszó-mászó mindenféle állatokon…"

Then a different voice spoke through the intercom. "He's not fried," Brian Taylor said. "It's Hungarian. He's onto you."

Emily stared down at Kyle, who was gazing into the light of the apparatus above his head. She couldn't help but be amazed. Even with the strong cocktail of drugs he had been given, Kyle was still able to stay ahead of Ballantine. She listened for a moment longer as the boy spoke a language she had no knowledge of: _Teremté tehát az Isten az embert az õ képére, Isten képére teremté õt: férfiúvá és asszonynyá teremté õket_… "Anyone know what he's saying?" she asked.

"I don't care," Ballantine's irritation was plain. "He has just made things very difficult for himself. We break for ten minutes, then we go to stage two…at double the power."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Stimulation_)


	42. Stimulation

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Here's the next bit…! Thanks to everyone for the wonderful comments – you are all so kind. I'm doing my best to keep the updates coming as quickly as life allows!! (31Mar08)

(Previous chapter: _Q & A_)

* * *

Chapter 42:  
**Stimulation**

As the machine powered down, the sudden white glare from the ceiling lights sent shooting pains through Kyle's fragile head. He closed his eyes and only his total terror enabled him to stay focused on speaking the Hungarian Bible verses, though he had lost track of how many recitations he had done.

"Kyle!" the commanding tone of a female voice pierced his mind and he opened his eyes in spite of himself. He felt them instantly watering from the brightness of the room as a woman's shape swam into semi-focus. Kyle watched colours dance around her image, a beautiful psychedelic halo refracted through his tears. Had she finally come to save him? There was someone else in the room; he could hear another voice droning nearby, but he couldn't pinpoint its origin, still too stunned by the blinding lights. He wanted his eyes to focus, but they wouldn't, and he puzzled over how it was possible for light to affect his hearing.

"Kyle?" the woman bent closer to his face. "You can stop now, the machine's off."

It sounded like she was talking to him from inside a fish tank. Kyle blinked, and so heightened was his perception that he was able to count three tears drip from his eyelashes; the fourth hovered, unwilling to follow its predecessors. He felt its molecules and with a gentle nudge from his mind, he forced the tear to fall. He tracked it with his mind, enjoying the tickling sensation on his skin, until it came to rest at the corner of his top lip. He stopped moving his mouth, relieved to rest his heavy tongue and tingling lips, and noticed that the droning voice had also stopped. A moment later he felt another ridiculous smile stretch across his face with the realisation that the voice had been his own. A terrible urge to laugh at that absurdity whooshed up and he only just managed to stop it in his throat. Temporal and spatial awareness seemed to elude him, fading in and out of his perceptive centres like oncoming traffic in heavy fog; he didn't know where to begin to fight the disorientation, because he had lost all his frames of reference.

Then he found one: he became aware of another heartbeat nearby, but it wasn't his own. He then felt the electric touch of a hand on the side of his head. The woman's shimmering face moved so close to his that he could almost taste the mint on her breath, though it had failed to mask the coffee she must have downed at some point previously. He detected the distinctive taste of the static electricity in the air between them, but his grated mind was unable to interpret what emotion it conducted. She cocked her head slightly and Kyle flinched, suddenly frightened that she was going to kiss him. He tried to turn his face away but couldn't, because his head felt like lead. A fleeting dark curiosity swept over him as he stared wide-eyed at the woman's fulgent mouth and wondered what it would be like to be kissed by someone other than Amanda.

Guilt was the next sensation to twist in his gut and he pushed Amanda away from his consciousness quickly, his fear forcing her behind a wall of facts and figures he had learned for History class. He felt something creep up behind him as a familiar sickly sensation began to pool inside his mind and he mentally groped for something to make it go away. He thought he heard himself whimper. As the woman's shape pulled her hand away from his face Kyle relaxed a little and the feeling subsided. It was then that he recognised Emily Hollander and felt himself smile once again despite his efforts to stop it. He tried to sit up but his attempt was frustrated by the restraints. He came back to himself a little.

"Can I go home now?" he asked like a child who had been brave for his dentist.

Emily frowned as she continued to examine his face closely. He was clammy and breathing heavily. The medical readouts showed a slight increase in his heart rate and blood pressure, but nothing to indicate a serious problem. "Not yet, Kyle."

She almost fell backwards when he suddenly jerked in the chair and his dilated pupils shrank to pinpricks in a heartbeat. He lifted his head and fixed her with his strange, now almost pupil-less, green eyes. The smile had been replaced with a more familiar anxious frown and his voice sounded more sober than it had for a while, if a little stupefied. "What did he give me?"

It was clear to Emily that this boy was somehow acutely aware of the substances running around his blood stream and was trying to fight them; and amazingly, his present window of lucidity seemed to show that he was capable of doing something that should have been impossible. How could he be aware of something that had already altered his awareness? It was astonishing, and was another acute reminder that _this_ boy wasn't like other people. She knew exactly which substance he was asking about and saw no reason to insult his superior intelligence by lying to him.

She shot a disapproving look up to Ballantine in the control room as she said, slowly and clearly, "Lysergic…acid …diethylamide."

oooOooo

"You gave Kyle _LSD_?" Brian Taylor couldn't believe what he was hearing and his outrage caused him to slam his fists on the arms of his chair as he stood up.

"Our own specially developed fast-acting form," Ballantine oozed. "But relax! It was only a tiny dose."

Taylor was nearly beside himself with frustration. "Playing with Kyle's mind is _not_ part of your job! I should've been notified of your intentions to do this."

Ballantine's eyes darkened another shade as he emphasised his words. "Mr. Taylor, as I understand it you were assigned by The Board to _oversee_ the procedure, not to interfere with it. Using medication as a means to achieve the objective falls within my remit."

Taylor inhaled in an attempt to remain calm and avoid being ejected from the control room. "You don't get it, do you? This boy's brain is already enhanced far beyond anything you can imagine. His perceptions do not need to be expanded with chemicals! You didn't give that to the girl, did you?"

Ballantine sighed. "Our extensive research has shown this substance to be highly effective in subjects who are in need of a little help with…opening up…or remembering things they have buried deeply. The girl didn't need it."

Taylor glanced down at Kyle uneasily before saying, "This is completely unnecessary."

Ballantine seemed mildly amused at the sight of Taylor's agitation. "Well, if it doesn't help with the procedure, at least it'll keep him awake long enough to complete it." He couldn't help an indulgent grin as he finished with, "And it might even make the experience more enjoyable for him."

"Or it might make it worse!" Taylor spat, remembering from his own youth the difference between a good trip and a bad one.

Ballantine ignored the comment as he turned from Taylor and leaned over the C.I.R. control panel. "Before you load the stage two settings, I've just received something that needs to be strategically incorporated. I'll give you the instructions once you've downloaded the data." He handed the technician the memory card from his cell phone. "Be careful with this: it's the key to the candy store."

Taylor absently pressed his palms against the observation window and stared down at Kyle. This was all going horribly wrong. Ballantine's lack of care and respect for the brain he was messing with was infuriating! The man was much shrewder and more determined than Taylor had ever given him credit for and now he had Kyle tied to the C.I.R. like the experiment that he was. The boy looked frightened behind the contorted smiles that kept spreading across his face, and Taylor actually found himself empathising with his fear for that precious brain and everything that it held.

All the years of secret resentment that Taylor had harboured towards his childhood friend, Adam Baylin, seemed to falter as the prospect of seeing Adam's pièce de résistance taken apart neuron by neuron hammered at his conscience. But _science_ had created Kyle, not Adam, and Taylor needed to find out whether things had gone wrong with Jessi. He needed what Kyle wasn't even aware that he knew: he needed what _Adam_ knew, or suspected, or both…he needed it before the rest of Latnok got hold of it. And at this moment in time, Ballantine and his insidious distortion of Adam's ingenious invention – the inadequately tested Madacorp C.I.R. – was his only means of getting it.

oooOooo

Emily checked the digital time code on the console; noted Kyle's medical readouts on her clipboard then sorted her notes in preparation for the stage two procedure. It was obvious that Kyle had somehow worked out how the machine was mapping his brain, which meant that he was more likely to try to resist it. That concerned Emily, but the people who were on their way to help obviously already knew that Kyle was unlikely to give up his secrets easily. Emily's nervousness grew in her belly, but she had to remain calm. If Ballantine suspected her of sabotage or disloyalty, he would have her removed from the room and God knows what he would then do to Kyle…not to mention to her family. She glanced surreptitiously up at Taylor, shocked to find him staring back down at her. Did he suspect? He looked away and returned to his seat. Emily's eyes fell to Kyle, who was still staring at her with clear green eyes.

_LSD_. Kyle's mind began to access the entry from the encyclopaedia he had memorised during his first day at school; it was the only reliable source of reference that he had. He reasoned that if he could understand exactly what the drug was doing to his mind then maybe he could adjust his perceptions to compensate? That thought caused him to stumble: was that even possible? He tried to interpret the effects the drug was having, but found that mixed in unknown amounts with all the other substances in Ballantine's cocktail, which he didn't know anything about, he was unable to calculate the effects each had on the other, or what they were collectively doing. The fact that they _were _all doing what they were meant to do actually made it impossible for him to trust in his own ability to do the calculations or the estimations. It was a pointless exercise; there were too many unknown factors. He concluded that fighting the drug was too exhausting, and if he became too exhausted then Ballantine would certainly win. There had to be another way. He let go of the thread of clarity he had managed to hang onto and his mind flooded once more with the strange sensations of intoxication.

Emily's brow creased with wonder and concern as Kyle's pupils resumed their former dilation in an instant. It appeared that despite whatever he had been doing, the drugs had just won the battle. She leaned in and he smiled, although it seemed more like a grimace. She checked the readouts once more and noted no significant changes. The set of readouts coming from the chair indicated that Kyle's body temperature had risen by half a degree. Once again, it was something to keep an eye on, but was not considered to be a problem.

"C.I.R. is set for stage two," came Ballantine's voice over the intercom. "Are you prepared, Miss Hollander?"

Kyle flinched at the sound of the intercom and tried to raise his hands to cover his ears. Once he had settled again, Emily looked up at the window and nodded apprehensively. She had a sudden feeling that what was about to happen to Kyle would make what had been done to Jessi seem so quick and easy by comparison; the girl had never made it very far into stage two before she gave in to stage three. And stage three had seen her pass out at just fifty percent power – without the aid of drugs to keep her awake. As she watched Kyle close his eyes against the bright lights, Emily's intuition told her that he was going to be a harder nut to crack; even with the visible effects of the medication, there had been an immense intelligence looking back at her through the dilated pupils. She tensed and in her mind ran through the set of instructions she had been given...both sets.

"Stand by," Ballantine said and the lights began to dim as the C.I.R. powered up for stage two.

Kyle opened his eyes as the familiar blue light seemed to cool his head. Fragmented thoughts floated in and out of the holes in his mind and in spite of his acute fear, he began to feel somewhat more removed from the discomfort of being strapped in the chair. The surf-like buzzing lulled him into a false sense of security, its hypnotic quality working with the drugs in his system to open him up like a cracked safe. He was aware of taking a deep breath and detecting the scent of Emily's perfume in the air. It permeated his thoughts and caused him to wonder why he hadn't noticed it before. It reminded him of Nicole and triggered the memory of when she had first taught him the words 'scared' and 'fear'. He had walked up behind her and put his arms around her middle, kissing her gently on the neck as he had observed Stephen do. Kyle had smelled the same perfume then, just before she had jumped with shock and taught him the name of fear. He tried to shut off the memory, not wanting to be reminded of his inappropriate – albeit innocent – actions, but it continued to play in his mind's eye irrespective of his will. He so loved Nicole.

"Kyle, can you hear me?" Emily's voice interrupted.

He formed the word with his mouth, but nothing came out of his throat. He nodded instead trying to clear whatever the lump was that was obstructing his vocal chords. Nicole was still there in his mind as the memory played on.

"Begin!" came Ballantine's loud command.

Kyle's security shattered with that one word and the ball of fear that had halted his voice suddenly shifted. What he called out froze Emily's heart in her chest: "Help me_…_Mom."

"_Now_, Miss Hollander!" Ballantine insisted, ignoring the drug-induced ramblings of his subject, encouraged that a memory was clearly showing up on the C.I.R. display before the procedure had truly begun.

Emily was thrown off kilter by Kyle's words, but Ballantine's order brought her back to earth. She hastily adjusted the papers on her clipboard and began reading the questions listed there, beginning with, "Kyle, what is the square root of five-hundred-and-thirty-one-million five-hundred-and-thirty-three-thousand and twenty-fi–"

"Twenty-three-thousand-and-fifty-five," Kyle answered before she had finished the question, glad of the reprieve from the pain of missing Nicole.

Emily almost couldn't believe it as she checked the answer written below the question on her list: Kyle was right. She followed with more questions, each becoming progressively more complicated, designed to elicit certain responses from a specific area of his brain. Kyle produced the answers effortlessly, each one correct, and one being correct to forty-three decimal places. Halfway through the seventeenth question, the intercom crackled to life.

"Semantic memory located. Stand by for sound and episodic search," the C.I.R. technician announced.

Emily glanced at Kyle. His eyes were on her, though she didn't feel they were particularly focused. She found it hard to imagine exactly what he was experiencing, but he seemed to have calmed down during her questions. If she didn't know better she would have said that he was concentrating. The sound phase of the stage two procedure involved the transmission of sounds directly through the C.I.R.'s electrical impulses, not audible to anyone but the subject seated under the headpiece. Kyle had already displayed extreme sensitivity to extraneous noises, so Emily was concerned at how he would react to direct auditory input.

"Sound engaged," the technician said.

The interplay of lights on the C.I.R. headpiece changed speed and Kyle jumped and squeezed his eyes shut. He opened them almost immediately and stared into the lights. It was clear to Emily that he was responding to something. She turned the page on her clipboard and began asking more questions, but these were geared more towards personal experience and how to do various tasks. Kyle desperately struggled to keep up with everything despite his difficulty with speech. He was unable to resist answering every single question, ranging from the brand of toothpaste he had used that morning to how he felt when he first saw Jessi.

Emily's voice suddenly sank into the background as the memory of first noticing Jessi rose rapidly to the fore. He was hearing simultaneous sounds and was able to separate them: babies crying, dogs barking, car engines, large crowds cheering, blenders, children playing, wind in the trees, an earthquake…With that sound, all other sounds faded into the background with Emily's voice. Kyle's awareness shifted and suddenly everything grew bright and vivid as his holographic memory burst into being: he was in The Rack puzzling over a vision he'd just had of a goldfish bowl and a postcard. Then a terrible sense of foreboding had descended on him, like heavy electricity in the air. He had just told Josh that he felt like something bad was about to happen. He had glanced over to where he thought the strange energy had come from and saw a girl. As their eyes met the tension grew and the room began to shake. A loud rumble deafened him and things began to fall over all around them. _Jessi_.

The memory of Jessi's betrayal and her leap into the falls slammed into his mind, pushing the other memory away, and he heard himself cry out her name, reliving every tiny detail and emotion. He wanted it to stop and tried to halt the flow of energy that he knew must be lighting up the C.I.R.'s display, but he had temporarily lost control. He saw himself hovering by the edge of the precipice, staring down into the water in disbelief and terror. He split away from himself and walked around behind his own image. He watched in abject horror as he screamed out her name again before the trees all around were blasted to the ground. He saw himself fall in a heap precariously close to the cliff edge, convulsing, with one of his arms dangling out over the sheer drop. The sight of his own destructive power wrenched a moan from his distant lungs. _What am I?_

He pushed the memory away as hard as he could, unable to breathe with the distress and felt the strange force of the C.I.R. push inside his mind. He managed to dodge the pressure and pulled something back into himself in desperation; but as he managed to stop the holographic memory, the sounds from the background came crashing into his ears once again with such suddenness that it took his breath away once more. He thrashed his head from side to side, aware that he was pinned down. He cried out wordlessly as the pain in his ears was magnified tenfold by the echo of his own scream.

oooOooo

Ballantine absently dragged the fingers of his left hand over his mouth and down to his chin as he studied the C.I.R. display. The graphic representation of Kyle's brain on the screen was twinkling like a Christmas tree as numerous parts were being activated.

"What just happened?" Ballantine commented aloud.

The technician paused then said, "I don't know, sir." His awe was evident. "I've never seen anything like it. It wasn't like any memory pattern I've ever recorded before."

"I think we're getting closer. Implement the visuals," Ballantine ordered. "And increase the power by twenty percent."

The technician looked up at him as though he'd misheard. "But, sir, we need to give him a break."

"You heard me," Ballantine stressed.

Taylor jumped up once again. "You'll kill him!"

Ballantine swung round, betraying the hunter in him, and growled, "He is resisting the machine. We need to get past his conscious mind. To do that, we need to…distract him while we sneak in the back door."

"At least give him a break before you do it!" Taylor almost pleaded.

"And give Kyle time to calculate our strategy and cover all his bases? I think not," Ballantine snapped. He then indicated a large dark area on the display. "This hasn't been activated at all so far. What we are looking for has got to be hiding here somewhere. We simply need to follow what will lead us there. Once we're in, we can begin the stage three extraction."

Taylor slumped into his chair and wiped his hands over his face with despair. But he had to admit that Ballantine had a point: Kyle had not broken, and the drugs seemed to be doing the trick in terms of keeping him awake and pain-free enough to avoid passing out. He glanced at the boy in the chair and couldn't help but marvel at the strength of his mind. How could one brain be conscious of all that information at one time? Adam would be proud of his creation.

oooOooo

Emily watched nervously as Kyle's distress seemed to rise along with his body temperature, pulse and blood pressure. But still none of the readings showed danger, and his pain seemed to have abated.

"Stand by for visual input," the technician announced over the intercom.

Emily's head jerked up to the control room window. "What about the break? Kyle is–"

"No break," Ballantine snapped.

Emily knew better than to argue, and closed her eyes briefly to steel her nerves against Ballantine's assault on Kyle Trager. She double-checked the C.I.R.'s medical readouts and noticed a rise in the power level. Surely Ballantine hadn't increased the power? She glanced down at Kyle, who seemed to be lost in a state of deep concentration. His eyes stared intensely into the headpiece and seemed to glow as the red beam passed over them. She was amazed that he was still functioning, even if it was with some difficulty.

"I'm going to ask you some more questions, Kyle, and you're going to see some images," she explained, and flinched as his gaze suddenly moved from the headpiece to her face. His breathing was irregular and his face was flushed.

"The…wall…is…too…strong…" Kyle squeezed between his clenched teeth.

"Now!" boomed Ballantine's voice, sending new shockwaves through Kyle's over-stimulated auditory pathways where the C.I.R.'s sound program was still running.

Emily's voice resumed, but her questions were now deeply personal. How did he feel when he discovered the truth about himself? How did he cope with learning that he did not have a real family? What did he feel when he thought about being in a tank for most of his life? What was the purpose of his creation? Relentlessly she threw questions at him. He had no answers for some of them, and had lost the ability to answer them with his voice, even had he been able to. But his mind was unable to resist the temptation to consider each one.

Suddenly random images began to flash in his mind; some were familiar, some not. Trees, ice cream cones, dogs, children playing, Jessi, Beachwood High School, cars, football, grassland, sunset, Tom Foss. Kyle gasped for air. Emily's questions about his feelings: did he want a pet? What were his dreams? Pictures continued to flicker inside his mind: trains, molecular models, ZZYZX logo, Batman and Robin, naked ladies, clown, the Tragers. He felt his mind fill up with pressure from the C.I.R. and he gave a little cry. His body was starting to hurt. Sounds, images, questions. He fought to stay aware, chasing the drug away as much as he could, determined to hang onto his mind as more and more stimuli were thrown at him. Sounds, images, questions. He felt like he was juggling a million balls, frightened to drop even one for fear that he would give Ballantine the secrets he most desired. Artillery guns, Hiroshima exploding, field of poppies, piano music, Amanda's yearbook photo, books, piano music, grocery store, Amanda outside the New York Conservatory…The Conservatory? Was his drugged mind playing tricks?

Kyle froze the image in his mind and pushed all others aside. He didn't recognise the photo. Amanda was walking up the steps in front of the building carrying a music case, a newspaper tucked under her arm. His confused mind zoomed into the photo and examined every pixel for evidence of tampering. None; it was a genuine image. He locked onto the newspaper and honed in on it. His heart skipped a beat: it bore today's date. How had Ballantine got a photo of Amanda outside the Conservatory? Kyle's heart began to pound rapidly with fear, transfixed by the photo and what it implied. He tried to hide Amanda, and pushed her further back into the depths of his mind. Panic hit him like a sledgehammer as he realised what he had just done and he felt his concentration lapse. Several of the mental balls he had been juggling fell from the air and the machine slipped in.

It vibrated in his head, stimulating a billion nerve endings simultaneously all over his body. He screamed with the surge of pain and Emily gave a small squeal with the shock, wondering what had been done to Kyle to warrant such a sudden reaction. His heart rate had almost doubled and his blood pressure was rising. His eyes were wild and tearful with whatever punishment he had received from the machine.

"That's enough!" she shouted up at the control room. "He needs a break!"

oooOooo

"She's right," Taylor whittled. "Please Ballantine, see sense. You'll fry his brain before you ever reach what you're after!"

Ballantine paused for a moment to consider the situation. The boy had still remained conscious, and had fallen for the manipulation like a dream. Everyone had his weakness, and Ballantine was satisfied that Jessi had provided him with Kyle's. He had watched the C.I.R. display as Kyle had tucked his memories of Amanda deeper into an unmapped area of his brain before his processes began to fragment. The C.I.R. was performing better than anticipated and the data it was collecting from Kyle's brain was being stored for analysis. If he stopped the procedure now, would Kyle find a way to resist the machine from going any further?

According to the display, Kyle was actively conscious of everything they had thrown at him, an incredible feat. He was processing billions of pieces of information faster than a computer. It was almost beyond belief. What had those scientists done to this child for all those years? Ballantine knew he was getting close to the location he was looking for and a surge of excitement rushed inside him as he began to wonder exactly what he would find there. He wasn't prepared to take the risk of letting Kyle put up more barriers. Julian Ballantine smiled to himself and pressed the intercom button.

"Five minutes," he stated calmly to Emily. He turned to the technician. "Find the memory signature for the girlfriend and turn up the power by another twenty percent…then make sure Jessi is ready."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Lost_)


	43. Lost

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

Thanks to everyone for the amazing response to the last chapter. You lovely people never cease to amaze and humble me. Here's the next bit…hope you like it. Things are getting a bit weird for poor old Kyle now…! (06Apr08)

(Previous chapter: _Stimulation_)

* * *

Chapter 43:  
**Lost**

It seemed to Kyle that everything had ceased in an instant: the noises, the images, Emily's voice, and the pain that had sent him spiralling towards the brink of unconsciousness. The suddenness of the cessation threw him off guard, and the only predominant sensations left were his loud gasps for breath and the relentlessly fast pounding of his pulse in his ears. The terrible pain had been thankfully short-lived, but it left a throbbing ache and intermittent twitchiness in every muscle that he could detect. His mouth felt dry and when he blinked it was like someone had poured acid in his eyes. He moaned with the discomfort and closed them again as the residue of a billion thought processes left him feeling more drained than he had ever felt before. What had just occurred had been a horrible experience, and he almost wished the drugs he could feel coursing through his system would make it all go away, because the thought of it all happening again made him nauseous.

Adam Baylin, and subsequently Foss, had warned him of the dangers of doing too much too soon, and Kyle had always tried not to overstretch his abilities for fear of the damage it would do to him. His recent seizures were stark reminders that his brain had been under too much strain doing things he had no real experience of. The problem was that nobody really knew exactly what his limits were, least of all himself. Adam's predictions had all been based on things such as personal experience, probability theory, and mathematical calculation. But having just endured a relatively short period of relentless probing by the C.I.R., Kyle suspected those predictions were right; he was far from ready to use his brain so intensively. That realisation also forced him to accept that he would probably not survive the rest of the procedure.

He tried to process multiple outcome scenarios, but his mind felt too shredded and sore to complete the task. There seemed to be only one probable outcome, so Kyle directed his thoughts toward hoping that his own death would ensure that his secrets, and Amanda, were kept safe from the likes of Ballantine and Taylor. Then he felt the sharp twinge of a hard mental slap! How could he think like that? What about all the people who had stepped up for him; all of the pain, suffering, risk, and even death that had occurred to ensure that he was kept alive…Adam, the Tragers, Declan, Amanda…Tom Foss; and God only knew who else? He owed them all a great debt. A sudden surge of guilt rose from deep inside along with the nausea and caused a huge sob to form in his chest.

Emily frowned as she examined Kyle's medical readouts. His body temperature was high, yet he felt clammy to the touch. His pulse was rapid, but was falling now that the machine was on a hiatus. His blood pressure was still a bit high and his hydration levels had fallen almost to the lowest acceptable level, so she began to prepare the emergency saline drip as a precaution. As she peeled back the surgical tape and introduced the cannula to the sensitised skin on the back of Kyle's hand between two of the sensors already there, Kyle let out the huge sob he'd been hanging onto and opened his eyes, grateful that the room was still bathed in the C.I.R's blue light. He sucked in a shaky breath as a new wave of nausea smeared his thoughts across the canvas of his mind's eye.

"Thirsty," he managed to say out loud to Emily, but in his mind he was screaming for help.

Emily started the drip and said, "This should help. I'll be back in a minute." She left the room.

oooOooo

Jessi sat alone in the tiny waiting area next to the C.I.R. room. She stared absently down at the white shift draped over her body and wondered how much longer she would have to wear it, because she really didn't like it. As she rubbed her thighs with her palms, she realised there was something vaguely familiar – and not very nice – about the garment, about the feel of the fabric against her skin. The unreachable irritation of a memory just below the surface began to itch in the back of her mind. She shook it away and returned to her previous musings.

How much longer would it be before she could have her clothes back? How much longer would it be before she could be free of sessions in the chair? How much longer until she could embark on her new life? Her _own_ life. Emily had betrayed her trust, but Jessi was intelligent enough to realise that the woman had been forced to play a part no less than Jessi herself had. _Ballantine_ was the real enemy, and Jessi could feel her anger towards him bubbling away underneath the sedatives she had been given. She was pulled in two directions: to help Ballantine get what he wanted and accept his offer of a new life and a useful career with Madacorp, or to give the other man what he wanted and accept his offer to change her life and give her answers to her questions.

Her mind wandered to the photo that the man in the suit had shown her. Had he really known the woman in the picture? The one that looked just like her? Jessi desperately wanted to know more. Who was she? Where was she now? What did this man know, and how did he know it? How did he know about Kyle? She had seen the man hanging around Ballantine at Madacorp, but until today she had never taken much notice. Was he serious about wanting to help her? Jessi's sense of loyalty had been sorely twisted by mind games, torture and the discovery that everything she had believed to be true about her rather sad life with Emily had been a lie. Now her mind was filled with a million questions about who she really was and what she could really do. Would this man in the suit lie to her too? How could she know whom to trust? Maybe everyone told lies? Even Kyle.

Ballantine had relentlessly messed with her mind and given her false memories, and Emily had pretended to be her sister…but there was someone who had helped her; someone who had helped her to see that she had real memories underneath; someone who had helped her to uncover the truth. _Kyle_. He had _helped_ her and unlike with Ballantine and Taylor, Jessi could determine no hidden agenda that would've motivated him to do that; she simply could not comprehend that notion, so she pushed it aside. If Kyle died, the man in the suit wouldn't be able to help her; he had said so. He said he needed access to what was in Kyle's head in order to change her life. It intrigued her to know exactly what Kyle had in his head that would do that. Why was it in Kyle's head and not hers? All she had ever found in his head were sentimental memories of Amanda – and the ZZYZX files, of course.

She knew the machine was hurting him, because she had felt it like a tingle somewhere in a corner of her mind. She knew the C.I.R. was harsh, but she didn't want Kyle to die. He had helped her. Her head felt tight with all the confusion. She remembered what Ballantine had explained to her just a little while previously: all she had to do was gain Kyle's trust; the chair would do the rest. She didn't know how she would gain his trust, however, not after the last time at the cabin in the woods.

Just then, Emily appeared in the doorway. "Jessi, it's time," she said quietly.

Jessi was a little taken aback. Despite the knowledge that the sedatives had made her head feel thicker, she could still detect that something about Emily's demeanour had changed; she seemed less confident somehow. She felt the raised heart rate and saw Emily's eyes linger on her long enough to communicate apprehension.

"What are you scared about?" Jessi asked in her usual direct manner.

"I'm not," Emily tried to lie.

Jessi stepped up to the shorter woman and cocked her head slightly. "Yes, you are. I can tell."

Emily sighed and felt stupid. She should have known that she couldn't hide these things from Jessi; she was like Kyle, only the look in _these_ eyes was far less compassionate. "I've got a headache, Jess," Emily lied. "That's all."

Jessi trained her intense hazel green eyes on Emily. "I'm tired of people lying to me!" Emily didn't answer, but gently took hold of Jessi's arm to encourage her to hurry. Before Emily had even finished curling her fingers in the grip, Jessi had brushed her arm aside and had gripped her by the wrist. "Don't touch me!" Jessi hissed. She gave a tiny twist that elicited a small cry from Emily before throwing her arm roughly away. "It's better that you don't forget I know the truth about who I am now," she said and padded barefoot past Emily into the hall towards the room that held Kyle. She suddenly stopped and said over her shoulder, "_And_ what I can do." She resumed her course.

Emily shuddered as she rubbed her sore wrist and followed Jessi. She couldn't blame the girl for being angry, but what she had seen in those eyes had not helped to quell the unease in her own stomach. Jessi was unpredictable at the best of times, and now was not a good moment for the sedatives to wear off; Emily prayed hard that they wouldn't.

oooOooo

Ballantine stood by the large window and stared down at Kyle lying in the chair. The blue light of the idling machine illuminated his face and gave the boy's pale complexion a rather inhuman plastic appearance as it reflected off the fine sheen of sweat on his skin. Ballantine took a moment to pat himself and his team on the back; the subtle changes to the C.I.R.'s programming, and tiny adjustments in the magnetic resonance, had virtually perfected the machine's capability and turned it into a formidable tool. If it were able to successfully crack open a mind like Kyle's, he knew that every government on the planet would be falling over itself to obtain this technology. But what would the ability to create human beings like Kyle and Jessi be worth? Ballantine's mind wandered as he fantasised about his potential future.

The boy in the chair was a bit twitchy following the last phase, but his eyes were open and he was as conscious as the drugs and C.I.R. allowed him to be. Ballantine knew that it had been a risk to intensify the procedure so quickly, but the fact that Kyle had remained conscious thus far was testament to the strength of his mind. The remainder of the ZZYZX data was so close, but now it didn't seem enough. Ballantine wanted more; he wanted to know what other secrets the boy held locked away in his amazing brain. It had occurred to Ballantine on occasion that Jessi may have been instilled with the same information, but the girl seemed to show no signs of having anything to hide. Her mind was malleable and open compared to the boy's. There had to be a fundamental difference in their development, and it seemed that Kyle probably held the key to what that was.

Ballantine considered his next move in the battle to breach Kyle's firewall. It had been obvious that this girl, Amanda, was the key to Kyle's undoing. However, the boy was clearly already aware of that strategy, and had been systematically pushing his weakness further and further into the uncharted areas of his brain, hoping it would be out of the C.I.R.'s reach. Ballantine had suspected that this is what the boy would do, and how to follow those fiercely protected thoughts and memories was becoming trickier. He needed an amended approach, one that used Kyle's natural tendencies against himself. This was where he hoped that Jessi would prove useful.

From what he had learned from Emily, Jessi was clever, manipulative and knew something of the boy's personality. With the promise of a new and useful life with Madacorp, Ballantine was satisfied that the objective had been firmly planted in Jessi's mind. He had neglected to inform her, however, that he had surreptitiously used the C.I.R. to reinforce the importance of that objective. Ballantine believed without question that Jessi would not be able to resist such powerful psychosuggestion, and had absolute faith that her extreme intelligence would find a way to open Kyle up. After all, she had found a way to take the ZZYZX information from him, and had failed to resist doing so.

As he came back to himself, Ballantine made a snap decision. He turned to the C.I.R. technician. "Start the machine while the boy is not expecting it, but run the girlfriend's memory signature on low power. Nothing else. Let's see what happens."

The man began, "But, sir, shouldn't we wait for Em–"

"Just do it," Ballantine scowled. "I know what I'm doing."

Taylor opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it. If he were ejected from the room now, he would lose any chance of getting what he needed.

"Now," ordered Ballantine with the taint of impatience evident in his tone.

oooOooo

Kyle was floating in and out of intoxication and felt incredibly dizzy. The blue light that spilled over him seemed to taste like water and his raging thirst seemed to have abated with every gasp of air he took. Small pains in his limbs bubbled to the surface like air in thick lava. He knew Ballantine was out there somewhere, but disorientation had caused a glitch in his ability to place himself in space and time. He wanted to go home more than anything. He wanted all of this to–

Suddenly Amanda came into his mind. He tried to push her away, to hide her safely, but he could not grasp her. He could feel her presence vibrating in his mind, softly teasing his heart like a gentle summer breeze. It was like an echo in his mind, a residue of something he couldn't quite place. Was she calling to his heart like she had before? His mind reached out for her. He had to warn her to stay away; she had to leave him alone. The trail was weak, and he struggled to hang onto it. Every time he thought he had found her, she dissolved in a delicate puff of mental smoke. She was a ghostly siren inside his mind: elusive, irresistible, and ultimately dangerous.

Her imprint fluttered past his face like a butterfly and he physically turned his head to the left to follow it. Suddenly she was there, smiling at him. She became more solid as a memory began to appear. She was sitting next to him on a bench. Beautiful flowers of every shape and colour swayed and spread out like a sea before them; the heady scent added to his feelings of intoxication. Kyle found himself staring into Amanda's eyes, which had somehow become a brilliant blue. He had never noticed that before and he could see something shining in them, pulling him in, wanting him to do or say something, but he didn't know what. He seemed to have no control over this situation.

Something shifted for a split-second, but it was too fleeting for Kyle to register what had happened. Then Amanda raised her hand and rested it on his cheek. Her skin felt soft and warm, just as he remembered. He gently pulled her hand away and toyed with her long fingers in his lap.

"How did you know where to find me?" he whispered softly, never once taking his eyes away from her face.

She gave him a shy look of consternation. "This is where we had our first kiss; don't you remember?"

Kyle felt himself blushing. What was wrong with him? How could he forget _that_? "I'm…sorry," he muttered. "I-I'm a little confused."

With that, Amanda-with-the-electric-blue-eyes gently chided him with a subtle shake of her head. "Maybe you need reminding," she teased and leaned a little closer.

"Maybe," Kyle murmured as their faces drew nearer.

Suddenly something shifted again just before Kyle felt the ever-so-gentle brush of Amanda's plump lips on his for the very first time. He remembered! This was his _true_ memory. The shyness, the curiosity, and the newness: all were just as he remembered, followed by the rush of growing confidence that fuelled more tentative kisses. Amanda was warm and kind and everything he had ever imagined. No, she was more than that. He pulled the memory close, never wanting this dream-come-true moment to end.

Then something deep inside nudged him, telling him he should be resisting Amanda's charms; that something wasn't quite right with this situation. But he so desperately missed her. He sensed a huge wave of emotion rising to the surface, so intense that he felt tears pooling in his eyes. He wanted to tell her he was sorry he hadn't texted her in the morning like he usually did. That he was sorry he couldn't call her at lunchtime. But more than that, he desperately wanted to tell her something else…

oooOooo

Ballantine watched the C.I.R. display and a smile spread across his face. "Exactly as I'd hoped," he stated. "The girlfriend's memory signature we recorded earlier has prompted a memory. Can we trace its point of origin?"

The technician tapped something into the keyboard. "It seems to be coming from somewhere in this area," and he indicated a newly illuminated spot on the graphic display with his left index finger. "I would have to say, sir, that mapping is almost complete."

Ballantine felt the finish line drawing even closer as Jessi entered the C.I.R. room below with Emily close behind.

oooOooo

Jessi's face was unreadable as her eyes went instantly to Kyle in the chair. His head was turned to the left, away from the door, so Jessi walked around the chair to stand on his left side. Emily began noting the machine's output and medical readouts. She threw an angry look up at the control room when she realised they had started the machine again without her being present. She glanced down at Kyle with concern, but he seemed relatively subdued.

He stared off to the left and fixed his dilated pupils on Jessi as she leaned a bit closer. To everyone's surprise he started to cry, silent tears tumbling from his red-rimmed eyes.

"I love you," he slurred, his voice was husky with dryness.

Jessi's eyebrows knitted together. "You do?"

Emily leaned in from the right, trying to assess what was going on.

"Yes," Kyle murmured, his face crumpling in a sob. "I wanted to tell you before, but I was too scared."

Jessi leaned further in, struggling to understand his words. "Aren't you scared now?" she asked, her own emotional naivety glaringly obvious.

Kyle's face crumpled further. "Yes," he sobbed. "But I need you to know how I feel because..." The words were so slurred that Jessi didn't catch them before they trailed off.

Emily watched in fascinated horror as Jessi looked away from Kyle's drugged eyes and glanced over her shoulder up at the control room. Ballantine nodded and Jessi turned to look at Emily before laying both her hands on Kyle's restrained lower left arm. She took one deep breath then fixed her emotionless eyes on Kyle's distressed face. She knew what she had to do.

Emily looked up at the control room just in time to lip-read Ballantine's order to the technician: _remove the memory and turn up the power_.

oooOooo

Kyle felt better that he'd told Amanda how he felt. He had been desperate to tell her because…he suddenly couldn't remember why. What was it that made him feel that he needed to tell her that so urgently? He looked away from her radiant face and wiped at his eyes. That was when he noticed the thick scent of the flowers becoming much sharper. He wrinkled his nose with displeasure and as he looked out at the sea of flowers, he saw them wilting before his eyes. He frowned, not understanding how this was possible. Everything was spinning and out of kilter. He felt himself pitch forward off the bench as the world began to vibrate. He turned to catch…where was Amanda? He felt like he had lost his mind. His gut twisted with fear and he tried to stand. The ground seemed to be tilted at a forty-five degree angle.

"Kyle, have you been _drinking_?" The voice was familiar somehow.

Kyle snapped his head round to find Jessi standing several paces away. His already tight stomach tightened another notch as he made a second attempt to stand. Something wasn't right about this place. The sky was yellow and the ground was shifting beneath his feet.

"Jessi?" he slurred. "What are you doing here?"

Jessi took a step closer. "I've come to help you."

Kyle wiped his eyes and shook his head. He knew something was strange about this whole situation, but there was a vibration in his mind that he couldn't shut out; it clogged his thoughts and made his teeth ache. "I've lost Amanda," he sobbed pathetically, wrapping his lips awkwardly around the words and finally managing to stand.

Jessi had never seen Kyle behave like this before. What had they done to him? She cocked her head, and suppressed a sudden unwanted twinge of jealousy at his unashamed display of emotion towards Amanda.

"Then let's go find her."

* * *

(Next chapter: _Discoveries_)


	44. Discoveries

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**:

Hi lovely readers! Apologies for the delay in uploading this…life's been a nuisance these past couple of weeks. The upshot is, I've had a horrid ear infection, which incapacitated me for the last few days, and the previous week was too busy and non-conducive to concentration on story writing. I didn't want to rush this chapter, as it's an important one (actually, it's two in one - special treat for you!!). Also, some of you may have noticed that I've added a kind of chapter index at the top of _Chapter 1: The Hardest Lesson_, which I hope will help. This story is so long that a lot of you were getting confused when trying to find your place after having to leave then come back to the story. Anyways, hope you like this bit…your feedback has been absolutely phenomenal (a HUGE thank you) and I'm humbled to know you're still reading this torturous epic! (21Apr08)

(Previous chapter: _Lost_)

* * *

Chapter 44:  
**Discoveries**

Emily Hollander looked down at Kyle with a mixture of curiosity and concern as Jessi laid her hands on his arm and closed her eyes. However, Kyle's eyes, dark with drug-induced dilation, remained fixed on Jessi's face, and he twitched once in the chair as the idling C.I.R. hummed back to life. The reflection of the blinking lights inside the headpiece lent his tearful eyes a sparkle that had been absent since he had been brought into Madacorp. Emily wondered just what those superhuman eyes were seeing; what was it like to have another superhuman being inside your head?

"Kyle, can you hear me?" she asked, leaning closer to his ear.

To her amazement, Kyle turned his head in response. "Yes," he murmured softly, the tracks of his drying tears glistening faintly on his skin. His eyes remained unfocused, but his breathing had calmed a bit.

Emily couldn't help but wonder whether Kyle's now subdued behaviour was a sign of him having finally given in to the power of the drugs and the C.I.R., or whether it was something to do with Jessi's presence. The beeping of his pulse was still fast, but the other readouts were within acceptable levels. Emily put her hand on his arm and he tensed slightly at her touch. "Is Jessi in your mind?" She couldn't resist the temptation to ask.

"Yes," both Kyle and Jessi said simultaneously.

Emily flinched in surprise and let go of the boy's arm while taking a couple of steps backwards. She studied the two teenagers before her. In the dim blue light of the C.I.R. they looked like waxwork dummies in a macabre museum display. Kyle stared straight ahead, supported by the chair's headrest, while Jessi stood pale and statuesque by his side. It was as though they were both daydreaming: conscious, but seemingly elsewhere. That was the only thing Emily could liken it to.

oooOooo

In the control room above, Julian Ballantine observed the C.I.R. display over the technician's shoulder. He was not a qualified scientist, but he could see the graphic representation showing two distinct signatures weaving around each other then almost falling into sync.

"I take it that means the girl is in?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," the technician replied. "But I've never seen anything quite like it. Their brainwaves are distinctly separate, yet every now and then they combine to create a completely new signature. See how it lights up here?" The technician indicated an oscillating line with intermittent flashing points along it. "That pattern is usually indicative of some kind of intensification of energy."

"Could that be…_dangerous_?" Ballantine chose the word carefully, remembering Kyle's little telekinetic display earlier on in the observation lounge.

The technician looked up then with questioning eyes. "I'm not sure I know what you mean, sir."

Ballantine exhaled slowly. "I just wondered what the implications of combining these two energies together might be."

The technician thought for a moment before saying, "To be honest, Mr. Ballantine, without having analysed the ZZYZX data, we have no way of knowing what these brains are capable of. But based on what we _do_ know, I would stick my neck out and say there doesn't appear to be any indication of danger to either subject at this time." He glanced back at his control panel. "In fact, things would indicate that what's happening is a natural process for both of them. It's more likely to be a sign of an altered state of consciousness, or something of that nature."

Ballantine's sharp intuition pinched uncomfortably as he watched the small flashes on the screen; despite what the technician had said, something told him that these two brains combined were capable of more than just communication. The question was, did Kyle and Jessi know that?

Taylor stood and looked over the technician's other shoulder, intrigued. "Are they communicating right now?"

The technician shrugged. "It's much stronger than we detected before, but given their close proximity and physical contact, _and_ based on the similarity to previously recorded communication patterns from the girl, my educated guess would be yes, they are."

"Is the memory blocker running?" Ballantine asked.

The technician flicked a switch. "Yes, sir. It's filtering the boy's memory at fifteen percent with episodic and experiential memory suppression running at eighty-five. Overall power is at sixty-five."

The machine had never been powered at sixty-five percent before on a human subject. The boy's mind was incredible. Ballantine linked his hands behind his back and glanced at Taylor just once before turning away to face the window. He cracked a knuckle. "Good. Begin recording and track them," he said without emotion, inwardly pleased that Jessi was proving her worth.

oooOooo

Jessi slowly made a three-hundred-and-sixty degree turn as she looked around inside Kyle's mind, noting the strange, vivid colours and the acrid stench of the rotting flower garden. She wrinkled her nose with distaste. This was not how she remembered it from before at the diner when she had intruded on his private thoughts. Whatever Ballantine had done to Kyle seemed to have affected his internal visualisation. She turned towards him and studied the only other person who was like herself.

Kyle's inner self swayed unsteadily a few paces away next to the bench, wiping at his tearful face with the back of his right hand while holding the other arm out to balance himself. Jessi noticed that something about him seemed very different from the last time they were together; she could feel some kind of disturbance in his energy signature. Her nascent instincts told her this had little to do with the medication she had just detected, or the C.I.R. No, this was more of an…interruption, like the fabric of him had been ripped somehow. She wondered what had caused it.

Kyle finished wiping his eyes and looked up at Jessi. She was radiant, a beacon of recognition in the chaotic landscape of his shattered mind. He was overcome with a great urge to run to her and pull her close, happy to see her. He took a wobbly step forward and stopped as something held him back; something important that he should remember about Jessi, but it wouldn't come to him. When he tried to pull the memory out, a huge vibration grew painfully inside him and set his teeth on edge. He winced and sucked in a sharp breath between them.

"Kyle, what's wrong with you?" Jessi asked in her usual direct manner, still pondering the strange rift in Kyle's usually harmonious energy signature.

He fought to stay upright as the action of recall seemed to trigger pain and nausea. He waited for the sensation to pass and straightened up. "I…I can't remember!" he called over and frowned at the sound of his own voice. "I was here…with…Amanda…and then…and then…" his stilted words ceased and he looked up at Jessi once again, his expression blank.

"Ballantine took her," Jessi finished his sentence casually, cocking a single eyebrow and moving towards Kyle with purpose.

Kyle's eyes widened. "Ballantine?" The name sounded familiar, but when Kyle tried to recall where he'd heard it, the vibration returned and sent more pain lancing through his mind. He gripped his head as the world swam out of focus for a moment. "Jessi…what's happening to me?"

"You don't know?" Jessi asked, intrigued at seeing the effects of the C.I.R. from a different perspective. It had truly suppressed his memory. Kyle shook his head slowly.

As Jessi neared him, Kyle became aware of a different feeling bubbling up from his depths, pushing his confusion aside: there was another kind of energy there. Suddenly the emotional residue of a now-forgotten memory of Jessi leaving him burst through, and Kyle responded by throwing his arms around her in a bid to ensure she didn't leave him this time. Jessi felt his desperation and only allowed him to hold her close, because it felt strangely pleasing. She tentatively snaked her arms up his back and returned his hug, puzzled that despite her betrayal, he was still so glad to see her. Kyle really was an enigma to her.

No words passed between them, only the buzzing energy of their connection as Kyle pressed harder into the embrace. He welcomed the momentary sense of sobriety that Jessi's energy created in him as it seemed to push the drugs in his system far into the background. The sensation provided him with a temporary window of opportunity for reorientation and Jessi became the centre of his universe for that moment. She felt it and decided she liked that feeling intensely. Kyle pulled her even closer in gratitude for coming to save him, though from what, exactly, he was not sure.

Jessi felt his hot breath in her ear and it prompted a response in her that she hadn't expected. She reached further into Kyle with her mind, hoping to finally find a place where she belonged. But what she found buried deeply inside him froze her. Every part of Kyle was tainted with traces of Amanda. Her essence was like a cancer eating away at his soul: virulent, permeating, and ultimately cloying. Jessi could not comprehend how Kyle was not driven mad by it. Jessi felt sick as she pushed outwards to rid herself of Amanda's residue. Her energy surged and Kyle jumped away with a huge, guttural gasp.

oooOooo

Emily noticed the sudden peak in Kyle's body temperature as he started in the chair and gasped loudly. His blood oxygen dipped and his eyelids fluttered for the briefest of moments before everything settled to how it had been before. She checked the console's battery meter and determined there had been no malfunction; then she observed Jessi. The girl's lips were thin and taut, but she seemed fine. Emily wasn't sure what had just happened, but her own anxiety began to induce a trembling in her belly.

Her concern was growing about just how long she should wait before summoning help, and would Kyle survive this ordeal until it arrived? Her timing had to be just right or Ballantine would interfere. A part of her prayed that Kyle would hold back the information long enough for help to arrive. Emily had always believed that Ballantine was a ruthless man in his field, but not a killer. However, over the months she had been working on this project, she had seen him slowly devoured by his obsessions. His blinkered ambition worried her to the point where she believed that he would care little whether Kyle survived the procedure intact…or at all. Once the man had what he wanted, Kyle would be surplus to requirements. If he survived, he could go; if he didn't, it was collateral damage. Yes, the timing was crucial, so Emily squeezed her eyes shut for a short moment then tried to concentrate on the readouts.

oooOooo

"Come on, Kyle, we need to go find Amanda," Jessi stated somewhat impatiently. Something in the way she said it bothered him.

"You're upset," he said, frowning, wondering what he had done to cause such sudden coldness. Maybe she didn't like being hugged?

Jessi pushed past him and headed towards the garden exit. "I'm fine." Her tone was clipped.

Kyle frowned then followed, too frightened that she would disappear from his life as suddenly as she had reappeared. He didn't want to be alone in this place again. Something was nagging at him, but he couldn't figure it out, and he fell into step beside Jessi, pleased that he felt a little more in control of his movements than he had done for a while, though his legs still felt heavy. Being with Jessi was making him feel better. Suddenly she broke into a run and Kyle struggled to keep up. He stopped to get his bearings and found that something about the path they were on was eerily familiar…and not in a good way.

"Jessi, wait!" he panted. "Not this way!" He felt a coldness creeping up on him. "I think it might be dangerous."

Jessi stopped and turned back to face him several paces ahead, her expression still sour. "We have to. This is where Amanda is."

Kyle's brow furrowed in concentration, peering into the distance, desperately trying to remember what was down there underneath the darkening yellow sky. Why would Amanda go _there_? Why couldn't he remember? Something rumbled deep in his mind and he tried to pull it into consciousness. The pain was excruciating and he doubled over, almost losing his balance. "I shouldn't be doing this!" he cried out to Jessi.

Jessi's eyebrows knitted together as she watched Kyle's pain. She felt a slight sting of sorrow, remembering her own C.I.R. experiences, before she pushed it away and asked, "Why not?"

Kyle straightened himself up as the searing pain passed. "I…I can't remember. I just know we mustn't go that way."

Jessi walked back up to him and stopped inches from his face. Kyle wasn't sure he liked the darkness in her eyes. "If you want Amanda back then this is the way you need to go. If you don't, I can't help you."

"And _I_ can't help _you_…" Kyle blurted as he instantly felt something seep from inside Jessi and hammer against his mind. He stared, trancelike, into her eyes. Why had he said that?

"What?" Jessi snapped, unsettled by Kyle's reading of her thoughts. How could he do that? He wasn't supposed to be able to do that in his present condition. Ballantine promised that only _Kyle's_ thoughts would be read. She hoped that Kyle hadn't understood that she needed him to give up what secrets he held in his head.

Kyle looked away from her eyes and fixed his own on the distance over her right shoulder. "You need my help too, don't you?" he asked, unsure of what he meant, but certain of it nonetheless.

Jessi swallowed and said, "I told you before. If you really want to help me, you have to follow your heart." She glared as she pointed behind her without looking. "That way!" She turned and resumed her course, agitated.

Kyle felt the world shift slightly. There was something about Jessi's words that set off a bubbling very near the surface of his consciousness, but no matter how he tried to connect with it, it wouldn't break through. A strange feeling began to pervade his mind like a bad smell or the onset of a nightmare. A memory was trying to come to him, and it charged the atmosphere around the two of them like static before a storm. He then became aware that he was no longer feeling quite so intoxicated. His logic began to inch forward tentatively and it informed him that the further into this place he went, the further away he would be from the disorienting sensations plaguing his consciousness. Still none of it made sense to him. A sudden pressure on his face brought him back to himself with a jolt.

"Are you still with me, Kyle?" the female voice sounded far away.

Kyle's hand came up to his face and found nothing there, upon which his mind strained to understand what was happening. Jessi was a few paces in front of him; so what had touched him? Who was calling him from behind? It definitely wasn't Amanda.

"Kyle?" the voice reverberated.

Kyle looked back over his shoulder. The landscape had changed, though the yellow sky was lighter that way. As Jessi wandered further from him, Kyle became paralysed with indecision. His instincts, what was left of them, were telling him that danger lay in _both_ directions. He clutched his head, desperate to remember something – anything – that might help him make the right decision. His head insisted that he turn back, but his heart ached painfully with the fear of losing Jessi again. He turned and faced the way they had come then he bit the bullet, the one that always accompanied a painful decision. Someone had told him that once, but he could not remember who it was.

"It's okay," he called out to the strange sky. "I'm with Jessi."

oooOooo

Emily's concern was growing. Despite Kyle's reassurance that he was with Jessi, his readouts were becoming a little erratic, particularly his pulse and blood pressure. Amazingly he seemed to retain a modicum of awareness, though it was obvious that communicating with Jessi had somehow altered his state of consciousness. She wondered whether Ballantine was perhaps being a little too trusting to assume the girl would cooperate. Jessi was unpredictable. Who knew what she was capable of once she was inside Kyle's head? He didn't seem so distressed, however; in fact, he had calmed down considerably since she had laid her hands on his arm. Whatever means Jessi was using to gain Kyle's trust, it seemed to be working.

oooOooo

Kyle trotted after Jessi, his legs getting stronger as he neared her. When he drew up beside her he curled his hand around hers, glad that she didn't resist. Feeling the warmth of her skin against his made him feel safer and they walked hand-in-hand for a little while in silence until Kyle broke it.

"Jessi, I'm really glad you're here," he said softly.

"You are?" Jessi replied almost immediately, not making eye contact.

Kyle pulled her to a halt and faced her. "Yes. I can't remember what happened, but I do know that I was really worried about you."

"It's probably better that you don't remember," Jessi said, unintentionally letting a little sadness tinge her voice. "And I'm fine now."

It bothered him that he couldn't remember their past. What was wrong with him? Kyle looked deeply into her eyes and felt something stir. He moved a strand of hair from her cheek and she stiffened. "Jessi," he swallowed, feeling awkward about having to ask. "I feel like we're…are we…" He bit down gently on his lower lip. "Do we…_care_ about each other?"

Jessi's eyes widened almost imperceptibly before she ripped them from his gaze; his face was uncomfortably close to hers. She felt her cheeks flush slightly, an unfamiliar sensation to her. "You _care_ about Amanda," she snapped. Jessi did not know how else to answer his question. She realised how stupid she had been to believe Kyle would ever say _I love you _to someone like her. With the benefit of hindsight, Jessi now knew the extent of his confusion and it was also obvious to her now that he had mistaken her for Amanda in that wretched garden. Jessi hated herself even more for _wanting_ to believe he would have said it. She turned abruptly and continued to walk, tugging Kyle along. There was an awkward silence that lasted for several paces. Kyle felt bad that he had upset her again; he wished with all his heart that he understood.

"I'm sorry," he said with an air of dejection. "I just felt like I…" He gave up trying to explain; out of everything he was struggling to understand at that moment, the connection he felt with Jessi was probably the hardest.

Jessi continued to stride. "Forget about it," she almost ordered. There were more silent paces. She would _not_ let herself believe that Kyle cared about her. Not _now_. He hadn't even come to Madacorp to help her; he had been brought here against his will. That had to be true, or Kyle would not be hooked up to the C.I.R. Walking eased her trembling.

"How did you find me?" Kyle's voice interrupted her hardening thoughts; there was a distinct childlike quality to his tone.

Jessi's logic supposed that having no memory of a past would do that. Is this what Kyle had been like when he had first entered the world? Is this how she had been? How would it have been if the two of them had known each other then? Would they have become each other's world? No, someone like her could never be with someone like Kyle, she reminded herself. She glanced only sidelong at him, amazed that he really wasn't aware of what was happening to him, and muttered in answer to his question, "They brought me here."

"They?" Kyle was genuinely puzzled.

Convinced that his mind really was scrambled, Jessi did look at him then, unsure of whether to tell him the truth or to avoid it. She settled on the truth, convinced that Kyle wouldn't grasp it anyway. "The people who…took Amanda away." She hated that it had to be Amanda who was so important in all of this. Why couldn't it have been someone else? Her mind knew the answer, but her heart hated it.

Kyle's brow creased as he processed her reply. "Jessi…I think I've lost my memory. I don't remember that." His voice was strangely emotionless as he stated the obvious.

"Don't worry about it," Jessi glossed over the subject. "It'll come back to you."

Kyle shrugged, "I guess." They walked a while longer, still hand-in-hand, before Kyle said, "They took you away too, didn't they?"

This time it was Jessi's brow that creased. She didn't answer.

"Is that how you know where Amanda is?" Kyle's question was agonisingly naïve. Jessi hated that he sounded so…_ordinary_. Still she did not answer. "Please tell me, Jessi. Where did they take you?" Kyle's question was direct, and not easy to fob off.

Jessi thought a moment, and figured the truth was still best. "To Madacorp," she stated, offering no further details.

"Madacorp," Kyle repeated to himself slowly.

He stopped in his tracks. Something about that name rang alarm bells in his mind. It just felt wrong somehow. Suddenly something unseen whooshed towards him from around the corner up ahead. It hit him with full force and knocked him backwards before either he or Jessi could react. Winded, Kyle lay on his back gasping for breath as something heavy bore down on his chest. Jessi spun around looking for the threat, but found nothing tangible, only the telltale residue of a memory signature that tickled her inner senses. Kyle sat up and clutched his chest.

"What was that?" he squeezed out between gasps.

Jessi's impatience was rising. She reached down and hauled him up; he gasped at her strength. "A memory," she answered his question succinctly. "We're really close now."

"How…how do you know so much about this place?" Kyle ventured feebly, unsure that he wanted to hear the answer – or that he would even understand it.

Jessi rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand. "Because I've been here before," she stated and tugged him roughly along behind her as she strode ahead.

Kyle didn't understand at all as he rubbed at his chest. Confusion started to seep back into his psyche with a vengeance and the uneasiness he had felt earlier was biting at his ankles like a small creature determined to warn him off. Before he could ponder it further, they rounded the corner and Kyle found himself facing a horribly familiar door. He stopped in wide-eyed shock with the recognition and Jessi broke free of his hand as she continued towards it, seemingly quite unafraid. The door was built of heavy material, he supposed it was steel, and was painted hazard warning yellow that emphasised the stark black logo.

"ZZYZX," Kyle muttered aloud, unsure how he knew that.

Jessi ignored him and pulled at the handle. The huge door rattled and Kyle winced as he felt its vibrations tear through his very soul. Jessi then moved to the small access panel to the right of the door that Kyle was sure hadn't been there a moment before. His eyes widened in horror as she began typing in an access code: seven…eight…one…two…two…

"Jessi, stop!" he screamed out in terror, misty visions of a similar situation coming to him through the holes in his mind like volcanic steam through rock fissures.

oooOooo

"Mr. Ballantine," the C.I.R. technician said. "We've got something!"

Both Ballantine and Taylor turned their heads. "What is it?" Ballantine asked, approaching the control panel. Taylor turned back to the scene below, wondering what Jessi had found. His heart began racing.

The technician pointed to a small flashing area on the graphic display of Kyle's brain, which bridged the gap between the already identified areas and the large dark patch of unmapped brain. "They've stopped here. It might be the first layer of the boy's firewall."

Ballantine resisted the urge to smile. "Excellent. Increase the filter to fifty percent."

The technician frowned. "May I suggest a sliding increase to twenty-five percent? We're already on fifteen. Too sudden an increase may cause unconsciousness."

"Very well," Ballantine acquiesced to the expert's advice, straining to resist his own impatience, and watched the man adjust various dials.

Ballantine knew this might be the only chance they would have to begin hacking deeply into Kyle's mind. They had to be careful; they didn't want to risk either Kyle realising what was happening and blocking them, or him losing consciousness, because in order for the C.I.R. to accurately retrieve anything from the boy's mind, it needed his perceptive centres to be functioning. The LSD derivative administered to Kyle before the procedure had begun was aimed at enhancing and opening these up, keeping him conscious. Right now, Ballantine knew that what he so desperately desired to possess was at the present time simply a knot of neural code that only Kyle's brain could put in order. By filtering information through Kyle's conscious mind, the deeply hidden information would effectively be brought into existence; or _brought into the light_, as Ballantine chose to put it.

Jessi had discovered that fact the hard way. She'd had to try to explain it when the technical team had been unable to decipher the information she had copied from Kyle's mind in the forest. She had described the experience as like seeing a mirage: it had been clearly there before her eyes while she was in his head, but when she tried to process it herself, it made no sense. She remembered just bits and pieces, but not enough to use or to create the relevant context. It had caused her terrible pain and discomfort, like a huge knot inside her brain. The C.I.R. team had almost killed her trying to pull the information from her deep memory with more and more power, believing her to be resisting the extraction process. In fact, she hadn't had the strength to resist and had given them everything she could; she had merely been unable to process any of it. It was that discovery that had enabled the development team to make the necessary adjustments to the way the machine worked. They now realised that the extraction process had little to do with the subject merely _storing _the hidden data, or even _understanding_ it, it had everything to do with _reordering_ it. Now they were able to control the amount of memory the machine filtered into consciousness at one time.

Jessi's previous failure had been turned into what Ballantine hoped would be the C.I.R.'s imminent success with Kyle. Jessi had reached in and stolen the information from his mind before, but not in any form that could be interpreted. They needed Kyle's brainwaves to do that: his mind had encrypted the data he had downloaded from the ZZYZX database before storing it deep in his brain, along with God only knew what else, and only _his_ mind was effectively capable of retrieving and decrypting it. The C.I.R. would record the process, which would theoretically give them the key to interpreting the data. Ballantine finally gave himself permission to smile. He was pleased that his hunch about Jessi had been right: she had been able to distract Kyle in his weakened and confused state, and she had known exactly where to go in the boy's mind, because she had been through this part of his firewall before. She also knew what lay beyond it, even if she couldn't provide Ballantine with a working copy of it. She was the perfect tool for the job in hand.

"Make sure you're running the backup," Ballantine reminded the technician while turning back to the observation window. His eyes met Taylor's briefly and narrowed with a lupine smile.

oooOooo

Jessi hit 'seven', the final button, and the huge door began to open towards her with a grinding screech. She stepped backwards until she bumped into Kyle, who was rooted to the spot, and whose eyes were wide with terror, fixed on the ever-widening entrance. A cold wind blasted from behind the door that took Kyle's breath away. His heart leapt into his throat and he struggled hard to get his breath back.

oooOooo

Emily jumped when Kyle's heartbeat became erratic and he suddenly started to gasp for breath. His oxygen level dipped sharply and Emily was just about to take action when it all settled down again. Her own heart beat wildly in her chest and she desperately wished she knew what it was that she was dealing with; she had no way of telling what was going on between Kyle and Jessi. Kyle's body temperature was up a bit more and tiny beads of sweat glistened above his top lip; his eyes continued to stare into the C.I.R. headset lights. Still, there was nothing in the readouts to warrant the declaration of a medical emergency, so she tried to keep herself calm. Jessi stood firm and appeared calm and well, though her face bore a slight frown.

oooOooo

Jessi grabbed Kyle's hand and began pulling him towards the open door. She was strong, and Kyle's legs felt too weak to resist her urgent tugs. His head was spinning, suddenly filled with sounds and smells that awoke recognition that he couldn't place. An enormous wave of pain seemed to grate its way right through his centre and he thought he would surely collapse with it as he and Jessi passed through the doorway. He gripped his middle with his free arm as he lurched and staggered behind Jessi. The next thing he knew, he was on his hands and knees on a concrete floor. He raised his head and saw Jessi standing some yards away reading what looked like a floor plan above another door. The place had no ceiling and the sickly yellow sky was clearly visible above. What _was_ it about this place?

"Are you still with me, Kyle?" It was that strange female voice behind him again.

Kyle gasped a few times then Jessi looked at him over her shoulder. "Answer her, Kyle!" she called over. "Or she'll put a stop to us finding Amanda."

In panic, Kyle sucked in one huge lungful of air and cried out through the pain, "I'm at ZZYZX with Jessi!"

The world was spinning and Jessi swam in and out of focus. Could Jessi hear that voice too? What were they doing at ZZYZX? What was ZZYZX anyway? What was _any _of this? He felt like he was melting into the floor, beads of his sweat splashing onto the concrete from the end of his nose, his eyes burning. "Help me," he managed to rasp, clutching once again at his chest as though it would ease the pain of his pounding heart. He sat back on his haunches trying to reorient himself.

Suddenly Jessi was there shouting inches from his face. "Kyle! The pain will stop when you open that door over there!"

Her shouting added to the pain of the pressure in his skull. Kyle slowly turned his head to see where she was pointing and saw the other sealed door, though this one was not as heavy as the first. It seemed to be rattling, straining to open like somebody was trying to force it from the other side. Jessi hauled him to his feet again and began dragging him nearer to it.

"No!" Kyle cried out. "This isn't right!" He didn't know why he was so sure of that.

Jessi stopped and gripped his shoulders firmly in her hands. She scowled as she hissed, "You have to trust me!"

Kyle recoiled at her intensity and turned back towards the smaller door. There was no handle, no access panel, not even a keyhole. He winced with a new wave of pain. "Jessi," he gasped. "I _do_ trust you…but how–"

"With your mind, of course!" she almost scolded him.

Kyle swallowed down the very real nausea that threatened to make him vomit and with Jessi's help approached the door on shaky legs. He had no idea what Jessi had meant and was fast losing comprehension of anything at all. He leaned against the door, pressing himself into it, revelling in the cold of the metal against his burning face. He imagined that the room beyond would be cool, too, and found himself wanting to go in there. With that thought the door completely gave way and disintegrated into a billion tiny particles that brushed past him like a cool breeze. The pain in his body disappeared in an instant as the pressure inside his head eased.

"Eighteen percent and climbing," a male voice echoed.

Kyle looked around for the owner of the voice; something about it was familiar. Jessi came up beside him and they both stared into the room Kyle had just opened.

"We have to go through there," she said rather too knowledgably.

Kyle hesitated; simply glad to have his breath back. "Something's not right about this," he responded. "I don't know what I'm doing here."

"Looking for Amanda," Jessi reminded him.

For the first time for as long as he _could_ remember, Kyle had a clear thought: what would ZZYZX want with Amanda? ZZYZX was a research facility! He strained to remember what kind of research and as he reached into his mind, he felt himself drawn into the room. Brain enhancement, molecular manipulation, genetic engineering, it was all coming at him in a steady stream. His clogged memory was suddenly starting to open up. Biochemistry, bio-molecular physics, advanced anatomy, strategic theory, biological warfare, telekinesis. Millions of pieces of information flashed past his mind. Embryonic generation, human cloning, embryology; on and on it went. Why would they need Amanda for any of this? Kyle grew queasier with each block of data that he retrieved. Pharmacology, psychology, mathematics, schematics, linguistics, chemistry, gestation chamber. He gasped. 781227. He turned and found himself standing beside…_himself_…floating horizontally in a tank.

"Isn't it amazing?" Jessi remarked as she stood beside him looking down into the tank.

Kyle scowled, too horrified to speak. Surely this was a nightmare? He looked up at Jessi and felt tears begin to pool. He needed to find Amanda before whoever had done this to him tried to do something terrible to her. He needed to find a clue as to where she might be. He turned away from the tank, his eyes scanning the room wildly for another exit. At first there seemed to be nothing, but on the second sweep, his eyes caught the faintest outline of the top half of a door in the opposite corner. It was small and plain, and so well camouflaged he almost wasn't sure it was there at all. Stacks of boxes obstructed direct access, but Kyle was determined not to let that stop him as he began to make his way through them. Each time he picked one up it disappeared in his hands, filling his mind with another block of information. He tried to ignore the discomfort, fixing his sights on the door. He needed to save Amanda. He felt crazy with that need.

Finally he had cleared the boxes, and stood in front of the small door. He could feel something pulling at him, urging him to enter. Maybe it was Amanda; he had almost forgotten what she felt like.

"Preliminary extraction of ZZYZX data complete at twenty-five percent," echoed the male voice.

Kyle felt a surge of fear and pushed his shoulder against the door. It wouldn't budge. He tried to 'think' it open, as he had before, but to no avail. Jessi appeared.

"You need me," she said eagerly.

Kyle had a sudden twinge of suspicion, as his horror grew. "You know what's in there, don't you?"

Jessi looked at him and shook her head. "No, but don't you think it'd be exciting to find out?"

Kyle felt anything but excited and found himself cautiously reaching out with his mind, feeling something important pulling at him from the other side. He became aware of sounds beyond the door. "Do you hear that?" he asked Jessi, perplexed.

She placed her hands on the door and concentrated for a moment. "It sounds like…voices," she almost whispered. She pressed her right ear against the metal. Her eyes grew wide. She drew back from the door and looked intently at Kyle. "Someone just mentioned _Latnok_…and the…_reproduction candidates_," she said with wonder and not a little excitement, remembering once before when she had found a strange box in Kyle's precious memory of Amanda in the garden. _What's in the box? _she had asked him…That had been the first time she had ever entered his mind. Could it be that _Kyle_ was that box? Maybe this was her chance to find out what secrets he held about their mysterious on that thought, Jessi momentarily forgot everything else.

"It seems you hold a lot more in your head than just the ZZYZX mainframe files!" her smile fell as her words tumbled out, realising where she was and what she was doing.

It meant nothing to Kyle, but Amanda did. Suddenly his face turned to stone as his impaired reasoning mind squeezed out a realisation. "You knew this was here, didn't you?" he accused.

Jessi faced him. "Of course." She watched his eyes darken.

"Amanda isn't in there at all, is she?" he pushed, hoping Jessi would confess her true motives for being here. He desperately wanted to trust her, but something kept tugging at his mind.

Jessi held her ground. "Yes, she is, Kyle."

He squared his chin. "How do you know that?"

"Because it's the only safe place in your head where you knew Ballantine wouldn't be able to get to her," she almost shouted.

Kyle faltered. "What do you mean?"

"You hid Amanda there yourself, Kyle, amongst everything else that's being protected," Jessi's words hit him hard and his guilt rose.

He knew that somehow she was right, though he really didn't understand. His head? Ballantine? What was she talking about? Kyle's overriding desire was to get Amanda back. He missed her. It was the only thing he knew for certain in this whole nightmare place. He would give anything to see Amanda again; to hear her voice and run his fingers along her exquisite collarbone just one more time. He wanted to feel her warm skin against his own and to explore the gentle curves of her slender body. He was _remembering_. The space beyond the door tempted him like Pandora's Box. Dangerous secrets lay beyond it, of that he was now certain, but what he wanted more than anything else were his memories, and Amanda.

"Stand back," he said to Jessi, and she watched in awe as Kyle opened…his heart.

* * *

(Next chapter: _Atrium_)


	45. Atrium

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**:

Many apologies for the late update! This must be the longest _Breaking Through_ hiatus…Many thanks to everyone who has reviewed – it is so much appreciated. Let me know what you think of this one, though you're under no obligation at all…(11May2008)

Also, just a reminder about the chapter index at the top of _Chapter 1: The Hardest Lesson _which may help you find your place as this story is so long!

(Previous chapter: _Discoveries_)

* * *

Chapter 45:  
**Atrium**

Kyle became agonisingly aware of his own heartbeat as he watched Jessi obediently retreat a couple of steps; then he turned towards the strange, plain door that sported no markings, locking devices or handles. In this weird, nightmare place in which they stood — that he somehow knew was called ZZYZX — his ragged mind knew only one other thing for certain: that Amanda was somewhere beyond the hidden door. It had to be true, Jessi had told him so. She said that he had hidden Amanda there himself…to protect her… _amongst everything else that's being protected_. Why could he not remember doing that? What else was he protecting? What was he protecting everything from? Why was he here in the first place? Why could he remember nothing much at all? So many questions flew up from his mental undergrowth that they caused him to reach out instinctively with his hands and his mind, scrabbling around looking for something to grasp, some tiny barb of memory that would hook the door open.

Then it came to him, clear and strong: he was looking in the wrong place. Something Jessi had said moments before had finally penetrated, and resonated, and a small, dormant spark of reason kicked into play. Though he could not grasp how it was possible, what if they really were inside his own head? _If_ he accepted that reality, then the door would be part of his own mind too. Therefore, should he not be reaching inward – not outward – in order to find a way to open it? That moment of realisation caused a huge internal surge as he let go of his resistance, embraced his feelings and pulled them into his heart. He felt the door give a little. He was about to try again when a beautiful sound filtered through the tiny crack that had appeared. Yes, faint, but it was definitely there.

Kyle closed his eyes as the unbelievably strong pang of a forgotten memory pressed painfully against his pounding heart. "Do you hear that?" he asked Jessi in awe without turning around, his voice barely a whisper in case it frightened the beautiful sound away.

"Yes," came Jessi's voice, strong, steady and curious. She had felt something in Kyle change and wasn't sure that she liked the feeling. "It's piano music," she stated matter-of-factly then frowned, oblivious to its significance, and obviously unmoved by its beauty.

Kyle threw her a puzzled expression over his left shoulder while stepping up to the door and placing his palms flat against its cool surface. "Piano music?" he murmured. "What's that?" She seemed surprised at his question, but offered no explanation. Kyle felt an awkward smile stretch across his lips. "Thank you for being here for me." Jessi cocked her head, still silent, as a gust of intense feelings that she did not comprehend breezed from him, gently stirring her hair; the enigma that was Kyle continued to exacerbate her emotional confusion. The music got louder.

Still smiling, Kyle turned away from Jessi and leaned his right ear closer to the door to listen some more. The beautiful sound wormed its way inside his heart in a way he could not begin to describe. Then it squeezed; an exquisite sensation of purest pleasure shot through with pain. This _piano music_, as Jessi had called it, touched him in ways he struggled to fathom. He needed to find its source otherwise he felt like he would never recover from what it was doing to him. Another crescendo pulled at him and he responded by pushing gently against the door with his flattened palms, instantly transforming the solid barrier into a shower of glittering particles that landed in a silent heap at his feet. A breeze from inside the space beyond suddenly swept the silver dust up into a small, swirling, shimmering cloud, alive with energy that crackled and dissipated as it tousled Kyle's hair. He inhaled deeply and moved into the impenetrable darkness of the area beyond, seemingly oblivious to either Jessi or his surroundings; too caught up in the hypnotic spell of the rhythms and tones filtering into his very soul.

oooOooo

"Kyle!" Emily's voice was louder than she had intended. "Can you still hear me?"

Kyle had sucked in a deep breath and held it, arching his back in the chair, his eyes widening. What felt to Emily like a sudden burst of static electricity had arced across the space between them, rippling the hairs on her arms and making the back of her neck tingle alarmingly. A deep shiver passed down her spine and back up again: something different had just occurred. Her eyes whipped to the console, but she could see no significant change. She leaned in closer to Kyle's right ear and placed a hand on his arm.

"Talk to me, Kyle!" She almost prayed that he wouldn't so that she could put an end to this madness. She willed herself to remain calm, acutely aware that she was nearing her own panic threshold. One slip of judgment and it would all be for nothing.

Kyle's breathing eased and he suddenly smiled. "Sshh! I'm listening to the…piano music." The words sounded difficult for him to say. "It kind of…_hurts_."

Emily frowned and looked over at Jessi. The girl's face appeared calm, but also slightly puzzled; a small crease dented the space between her eyebrows. "Jessi? Is everything okay?"

Jessi half opened her eyes. "Yes," she stated offering no further details then closed them again.

oooOooo

"We have energy fluctuation, Mr. Ballantine," the C.I.R. technician called softly over his shoulder.

Both Ballantine and Taylor turned towards the control panel at the same time. Ballantine rose from his chair and stood behind the technician. On the graphic display of Kyle's brain, a small patch of the unmapped area had begun to flicker tentatively.

"Is that unusual?" Ballantine asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Absolutely," the man said. "Because we can't trace the power source."

"What does that mean?" Ballantine felt the beginnings of concern.

The man shook his head and shrugged. "I have no idea," he admitted honestly.

Ballantine frowned and looked towards the other technician, "Is there a problem with the power feeds?"

The woman brought up several displays and tapped in various commands on her keyboard before saying, "No, sir. Everything in the suite seems to be running normally. The power feeds are not showing any sign of having been compromised. The system seems stable."

Ballantine stroked his chin absently and glanced down at Kyle in the chair. A feeling was beginning to form in his gut. He pressed the intercom switch. "How are the boy's vital signs, Miss Hollander?"

Emily checked her console and looked up. "His temperature's been rising gradually, and his heart rate and blood pressure are becoming erratic. Your LSD seems to be working." Even over the intercom her voice held the unmistakable taint of her disdain and nervousness. "I'm not happy with his condition, so you don't have much longer before I call for help!" She meant it, inwardly cursing Ballantine for the nth time for overriding the usual protocols, regretting that she hadn't dug her heels in deeper at the start about having a medical team on standby during the procedure. And curse Brian Taylor for bringing Kyle into Madacorp unexpectedly! Emily instinctively checked the door behind her to ensure her exit was clear in preparation for making the call she dreaded making, because doing so would take the situation out of her control. Her heart pounded in her chest.

To her obvious surprise, Julian Ballantine conceded and nodded his agreement through the glass; and in so doing, acknowledged that he did not want Kyle damaged beyond repair before he had at least given up his secrets. Ballantine looked back at the control panel. His intuition was stirring; something wasn't sitting comfortably, but he couldn't put his finger on it. What exactly was going on in that boy's head? He was highly aware that Kyle's brain was capable of surprising them all.

"Sir?" the C.I.R. technician piped up, his voice holding more than a little astonishment. "I've just done a preliminary analysis of the patterns and it seems very likely that what we're seeing is 781227 breaching the next layer of his own firewall. He's generating some kind of equation or code or _something_…I don't recognise any of it. The syntax is like nothing I've ever seen before. The energy fluctuation coincides with where his brainwaves changed just here," and he pointed to a peak on a small graph down the right hand side of the display. "And it's spreading slowly that way." Sure enough, on the display a small patch of light was starting to bleed into the dark unmapped area of Kyle's brain like spilt ink on blotting paper.

"Could it be the girl?" Ballantine asked, eager not to get his hopes up too quickly…one hasty mistake and he could lose his chance to break through.

The technician shook his head. "No. That's highly unlikely. This is the girl's signature here. It's totally different," he said and pointed to another line on the graph below Kyle's. "She doesn't seem to be involved in this process at all. Whatever is happening, it's coming from the boy."

Ballantine felt a surge of excitement. Could it really have been so simple to get Kyle to cooperate? It seemed that Jessi really hadn't exaggerated the power this Amanda had over him. Ballantine vaguely remembered the rather unassuming slender blonde girl from when he had shared a meal with the Tragers one evening. It was the first time he had met Kyle, who had been very distracted by the pale girl's presence. Looking over his shoulder at Taylor, Ballantine said, "It seems our teenage asset has a hopeless case of lovesickness after all." He couldn't contain a wry grin as the feeling of burgeoning success touched him.

Taylor's eyes narrowed uneasily as he removed his gaze from Ballantine and stared down at Kyle who had been twitching, smiling and grimacing intermittently in the eerie blue light of the chair. He noticed the red beam do another sweep over the boy's staring eyes. "Don't count your chickens," he said to Ballantine, remembering the misguided self-assuredness of Kyle's former ZZYZX maintenance team. Taylor had since begrudgingly regarded Kyle with a healthy measure of respect; it was never wise to underestimate the power of the unknown…or its unpredictability.

oooOooo

In the darkness Jessi tried to fix her eyes on Kyle's back as he moved forward, guided by the music that echoed around them, but as they went further in, the darkness made it impossible. Her own mind seemed to be struggling in this place; it seemed to be blocking her innate senses. She halted for a moment, trying to orient herself, and stretched out both of her arms to either side trying to find something to define the space. To her relief, both sets of fingertips brushed a smooth surface and she began walking forward once again. It felt to her like a narrow tunnel, the floor sloping down, forcing a descent that Jessi did not like the feel of. The air was getting warm and thick, and it was becoming harder to breathe. She sensed, though not as clearly as she would normally have done, that Kyle was some distance in front of her, but he had not spoken since responding to Emily's voice. Jessi's curiosity began to give way to apprehension; another emotion she did not deal with easily. She had never been this far inside Kyle's mind before; in fact, relatively speaking, she had only ever brushed the surface.

Kyle, too, sensed the heaviness in the atmosphere, and noticed a dull ache starting somewhere deep inside his head, a vibration that had nothing to do with the music. There was something familiar about the sensation in his mind, though nothing he could place. It disoriented him, and his feet faltered momentarily. The music was growing louder and after a further seventeen difficult paces, Kyle sensed the darkness around him open up. He had passed through a doorway into what felt like a large room, though the pitch-blackness offered no visual clues. The music echoed around the cavernous space, and newly awakening senses provided Kyle with an echo located map as he 'read' the sound waves bouncing off the walls. He shook his head, wondering how he had done that. He strained to remember, and the vibration inside his mind increased tenfold, seeming to push everything else out with a blast of pain. It left him feeling frightened and agitated; but more than that, he felt horribly alone in the thick darkness.

In his confused excitement he heard soft footsteps come up behind him and felt a familiar heartbeat. Without thought or warning he spun around and gently cupped the face he knew was there, feeling her soft hair between his fingers. He heard her gasp with surprise, felt her energy, alive and vibrant. She felt real, unlike everything else in this strange place. She was like a magnet and he wrapped his arms around her, relishing the tickle of her hair against his cheek and cherishing the feel of her trembling body pressed against his. So scared, just like him.

_Just like him_.

For a split-second their energies melded and Kyle was bombarded by memories. Whether they were his, hers, or both, he was not sure, but they affected him deeply. Flames. Fear. ZZYZX. A man with a knife. A leap off a cliff. Pain. Immense disruption of energy. A terrible force being unleashed. He felt her stiffen and he knew in that instant that she could also see these things. His own tension reacted to hers resulting in an explosion of energy as the whole room burst into light, jolting through their bodies and forcing them apart in a shower of blinding, ethereal sparks.

oooOooo

"We're through!" the C.I.R. technician announced, trying to contain his amazement as light began to spread across Kyle's mysterious mind map. "I'm beginning extraction."

Ballantine smiled cautiously. "No, wait! Maintain stealth for the moment. We don't want the boy to rumble us just yet. And prepare the erasure program." Ballantine was determined that whatever Kyle had nestled safely deep in his mind was not going to remain there once the C.I.R. had recorded it; he knew that control of the information was crucial to his future success.

Taylor listened while continuing to stare down at Kyle in the chair. There was something going on, he could feel it. And Emily Hollander's jumpiness seemed to hold more than just anxiety about the procedure; she was up to something. He eyed Ballantine surreptitiously before standing. "I'll be in the restroom," he stated and headed for the control room door. The truth was that he desperately needed freedom to pace, desperately needed to figure out some way to prevent Ballantine from destroying Kyle's mind. The man had lost all prudence in his pursuit to metaphorically dissect the boy for material gain, not science. He had no concept of Kyle's potential. Despite all the problems Taylor wrestled with, this was not the destiny that he had hoped to witness for Adam Baylin's precious progeny. Something had to be done to protect what Kyle potentially held inside. And something had to be done to ensure Jessi's safety, too. In one of them lay the key to everything…but what was it, and in which one?

oooOooo

When the shower of strange, heatless sparks had dissipated, Kyle opened his eyes to find himself sprawled on his back on the floor in the middle of a huge, domed and brightly illuminated atrium populated with what appeared to be glass panels built into the walls. The beautiful music had stopped and he longed for its return. He scrambled to his feet, his heart still pounding mercilessly with the residue of the fleeting visions he had just experienced. He began walking awkwardly towards one of the windows, dazed and aching. His own reflection enlarged as he drew nearer, then it faded as the window began to glow like it was backlit. The nearer he got, the brighter it glowed, but the shapes he could see moving within were indistinct, as though he were watching through rippling water. Something about the sickly sensation the panel elicited from his stomach made him stop short. He suddenly remembered Jessi and spun around searching for her. To his relief, she was standing several yards away scanning her surroundings, seemingly as affected by the visions as he was.

"Are you okay?" he called over.

Jessi half-heartedly nodded a response, not really paying him much attention. Her eyes had fixed on a window that exhibited a strange series of symbols etched into the shiny surface. Then she noticed that all of the panels seemed to bear markings of one kind or another. She began to move towards the nearest one, cocking her head to one side, noticing that her legs felt heavy; this place was thick with an energy she was unfamiliar with, though it hummed with an unmistakable underlying vibration that she _did_ recognise: the C.I.R.

"Where are we?" Kyle asked, forgetting what he was doing just before he had spoken to Jessi, watching her move with purpose towards a window in the opposite direction. He noticed that it did not light up as she approached, and when she trailed her fingers across the surface of the etched symbols an intense wave of nausea washed over him. "Jessi, something's not right," he called shakily, his voice echoing faintly. "I don't think we should be here."

Jessi withdrew her hand and turned towards Kyle. For the first time since their minds had momentarily melded, Jessi studied him closely, not wanting to acknowledge what she had seen during that intense burst of memory. The terrible rift in Kyle's energy signature that had bothered her earlier throbbed more intensely than ever. She could no longer ignore it, because she now knew it had been her fault. She had caused it. Her betrayal in the forest had sown the seed of Kyle's undoing, and yet he stood here in front of her as trusting as he had always been; concerned for her well-being, always concerned for her safety above his own. She was acutely aware that Kyle had lost all sense of what was happening to him, or where he was. Ballantine had not been wrong when he'd said that she had helped to perfect the extraction procedure. Something about that stung inside her and she flinched.

Jessi felt her own emotional turmoil beginning to rise to the surface, the kind of turmoil that made her do illogical things. She didn't like it and she didn't want it. She didn't understand what she was feeling and tried to push the pain of it away. She had a mission to fulfil; she had a new life to prepare for, a new life that did not include Kyle. She would not allow confusion to get in the way. She pursed her lips and physically turned away from him, trembling with the tension in her body as she struggled with something inside herself that willed her to betray him all over again.

Kyle frowned when he sensed the sudden change in her and made his way quickly over, staggering slightly like he was mildly drunk. As he drew nearer, a pressure started to build in his skull; it felt like something was waiting to pounce on him. He stared at the back of her head, noticing all the different colours in her hair brought out by the bright light. He put a hand tentatively on her shoulder. "Jessi?"

"I warned you not to trust me," she hissed between her teeth and shrugged off his hand. She knew the question that was coming next and headed it off. "You won't remember that, of course, so I'm reminding you."

"What?" Kyle's voice held steady despite what he felt brewing inside. He tried to turn Jessi around, but she held herself firmly facing away from him. He felt her tension rising, felt the desperate conflict raging inside her. "I don't understand." He sounded hurt.

Jessi's body trembled as she balled her hands into fists at her side, willing herself to resist taking the easier path that would lead to betrayal. For once in her short, miserable life she wanted to make her own choices, but the directive was too strong. "I won't do it!" she screamed out at the ceiling. "He _helped_ me!"

She felt indescribable anger bursting to life; Ballantine had betrayed her. He had used the C.I.R. against her one final time. She recognised the sensation in her mind that willed her to do something that had no logical history in her memory. Since Kyle had told her the truth about how they were both created, and what they could do, Jessi had stopped believing her own memories. The truth about her past was probably all around her at this precise moment; her intelligent mind had realised where she and Kyle were.

"This is your deep memory, Kyle. This is what they're after," she trembled.

"Who?" Kyle felt the pressure in his skull increase further and put his fingers to his temples.

Jessi growled, "Ballantine and that Mr. Taylor!" Kyle frowned, causing Jessi to become even more frustrated. "I know you don't understand right now, but trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

"I _do_ trust you," Kyle stated honestly, frightened beyond reason.

Hearing that was more than Jessi could bear. "Kyle, get away from me! I won't be able to stop myself." Even as she said it, she knew he would not do it. His stupid, incomprehensible feelings always got in the way!

Kyle raised his right hand once again and lightly touched Jessi's hair as tears began to sting behind his eyes. "Jessi, please, you're scaring–"

Without warning, she whipped round, grabbed his hand roughly and pressed his palm flat and hard against the symbols on the glass panel. "I'm sorry," she sobbed.

It all happened so fast that Kyle had no time to react before the panel burst into light and imploded, releasing a stream of energy that shot through his body so fast it was hardly visible.

"Beginning stage three extraction," a disembodied male voice echoed around the chamber. "Filtration is set at forty percent, sliding. Power levels maintained at sixty-five. Backup running."

It was when Jessi let go of his hand that the pain hit Kyle and he cried out. He was filled with a recollection of being at school while the panel seemed to be absorbed by the fabric of the wall. Faces and experiences flooded his empty memory. He gasped for air as the pain subsided. Then a new panel appeared where the old one had been.

All around the panels began to light up, each connected to the others, a series of incandescent veins running all around the room. Kyle could feel the energy building and knew, without knowing how or why, that the same thing was going to happen to him again. He tried to brace himself. The next surge of energy lanced through his body as the strange vibration increased and pulled the memory from the wall, pushing it through Kyle's mind like meat through a mincer. The whole room seemed to pulse in time with his own racing heart.

Jessi watched in horror as Kyle began to become aware of his memories. His life was coming back to him; he was starting to understand whom he was and what was happening. He whimpered with each burst of energy that passed through his body, too weakened by the drugs in his system to fight the process. The extraction was speeding up and even Jessi found the vibration in the atmosphere nauseatingly intense. She wept with fear and…was it regret? She knew she should get out, but something kept her there; kept her close to Kyle.

After what seemed like an eternity, the extraction seemed to stop. Kyle braced himself, breathless and weak, against the wall then his heart sank as he felt the energy building once again. He pushed himself away from the wall with difficulty and tried to put as much distance as possible between himself and the conducting panel. He made it to the middle of the atrium before he turned and caught sight of the etched symbol on the newly formed panel. Despite his shattered mind, Kyle recognised it: _Latnok_. He tore his widening eyes away and locked his gaze onto Jessi, shaking his head in terror. Her eyes were shining.

"Please, Jessi…" Kyle implored breathlessly. "…I'm not ready."

* * *

(Next chapter: _is in progress_)


End file.
